Dream Keeper, From Mansfield with Love
by Jolanda Den Ouden
Summary: When leaving Portsmouth, Henry misses his train and instead finds Frankie's videos. Watching them changes the course of his life. This story starts in the middle of Episode 82, Familiar Faces, From Mansfield with Love. From there the story deviates (this also means that Mary's videos from no. 10 onward don't exist anymore in the story.).
1. Chapter 1-3

FMWL (variation) Dream keeper

**Chapter 1**

Henry walked away without looking back. He was angry at himself, at Frankie. He felt played with. His hand still burned where she had caressed it. Why had she done it? And all her talk about going to her house. 'Do you have to go so soon?' Her words echoed in his head. But still she had pulled back. He felt very disappointed, rejected.

He found his way back to the hotel where he was staying. The seminar and the whole conference had lost interest now. All he wanted was to leave Portsmouth as quickly as possible to go back to London and forget this painful, humiliating experience. He knew who could help him with this…

Quickly he packed his bag, brought the key back to reception and headed out to the station. Only a few days ago he had arrived here, hoping and expecting to see Frankie. To see if anything had changed. He had looked forward to spending some time in 'her' city and try to see it through her eyes. Walking around, imagining her walking at those places.

After the first meeting had been a bit cool, they had spent some nice time together and it had started to feel a bit the same again as at Mansfield. Having fun together, chatting about anything and Frankie had seemed to enjoy it! That's why he had allowed some hope this afternoon. But now that was all gone.

He walked into the station and got his ticket, only to find out once on the platform that he had just missed his train. Now he had to wait another 45 minutes! That didn't help!  
All of a sudden he realised that he hadn't eaten since breakfast, so in the little kiosk he bought a coffee and a sandwich, and sat himself on one of the benches. Sipping from his coffee he took his laptop out of his bag. Maybe he could do some work, or check his email. But instead Henry started to Google Frankie. He just couldn't resist. He was very surprised to find, that the videos she made for Will, were actually open for everyone to view! He wondered if she knew.  
Curious about what she'd say about him, he started watching some of them. Very soon he was engrossed. It was a bit strange seeing it from the other side. He watched her talking about life in general at Mansfield, interact with Ed and heard what her thoughts were about him and Mary. Shocked, he realised she had seen and known much more of his conduct than he realised. He cringed when he heard himself talk that first time near the water in the garden back in January and saw how ridiculous his behaviour was that day when he had helped Frankie with those heavy boxes. And saw that he was caught on camera making out with Rhea in the garden during their rehearsal of Lovers Vows.  
At first he had enjoyed seeing Frankie talking about what went on in her life, but the more he watched the more he realised how she must have felt about his flirting and suddenly he understood why she had rejected him.  
Somehow these videos made him see himself through her eyes and he didn't like the picture.

People walked past, trains arrived and left, but Henry didn't notice. His eyes were glued to the screen of his laptop. There were so many videos and they brought so many revelations.  
Another thing he noticed was how special Frankie's relationship with Ed was. Henry saw, heard and read in between the lines that there was much more than just friendship on her side… Another reason why she didn't want him, Henry.

His laptop started to tell him the battery was almost empty. Only then Henry realised what time it was. He must have missed at least two trains! Wow, that has never happened before! He wouldn't have thought that possible, at least not when sober.

Henry wasn't sure what to do now. He was still angry, but, he realised, now only at himself! He wanted to see Frankie again, to tell her that his eyes had really been opened, to say he finally thought he understood her! But he didn't know where she lived and she was probably long gone from the spot where they had met earlier that day. He didn't want to call her.  
Instead he found himself calling Ed! He might try to explain and ask if Ed could give the address. He wasn't sure if Ed would want to help. Henry had seen the last video with Ed in it and he was sure Ed would respect Frankie's choices. Still, there was no harm in trying.

Ed sounded a bit reserved when he answered his call. After some chat about how each was doing and Ed's question about how he liked Portsmouth, Henry started to try to explain why he called.  
"I met with Frankie today but it didn't go particularly well! At first I was angry at her about it, I felt like she was playing with me…" Here Ed interrupted: "Frankie would never play with other people's feelings, so she probably had good reasons to act the way she did!"  
"Yeah," Henry said, "I do now realise that as well. You know, the past few hours I have been watching Frankie's videos and they made a lot clear!" "Wait, what? Frankie's videos?" came the reply. "Yes, on YouTube." Before he could continue, Ed said: "Hold on, I'm getting another phone call. It's my dad. I'd better take it. Ring me back in 5 minutes ok?"  
"I will," said Henry. He stood up and looked out of the window. He had a majestic view on the HMS Warrior but didn't see it.

Barely two minutes had passed when Ed rang him back. He sounded upset and agitated:  
"My dad just rang to say Tom has had a very bad car accident and is rushed into hospital right now! I seem to be closest so will drive there straight away. Could you please tell Frankie and see how she is? I won't have time to come and pick her up, and since you're there anyway… Thanks!"  
"Ok, will do. But I don't know where she lives." Ed told the address, but before he hung up, Henry said quickly: "By the way, I had some texts from Mary. She was a bit upset, I think, because you hadn't answered her calls or so?" Ed sounded distracted, but said: "Yeah, things are not going too well between us, but I'll give her a call! Thanks again." With that he hung up.

Henry didn't know what to think. Tom was a nice bloke, but the accident was probably his own fault. Drunk driving was plain stupid, so he couldn't feel too sorry for him.  
But then he thought of Frankie. He had seen how much she cared for Tom and this must be awful news for her to hear.

Before rushing out of the station he sent a quick text to Mary: 'Was planning to come home tonight, but plans have changed. Talk to you soon! Btw. Bertram has had a bad accident.'  
Then he found his way to Frankie's house.  
Henry was let in by a curious looking guy, who must be her mum's boyfriend. "Frankie, there's a bloke for you at the door!" was shouted up the stairs. "Ok, send him up!" he heard Frankie calling back. "First door on the left," pointed the man.

Henry hesitatingly went up the stairs. He hoped she wouldn't be angry at him being back so soon. The door was open and the first thing he noticed was the camera. "Frankie?" "Henry! Why? What? I thought you went back to London!" She looked confused.  
"No, I missed my train," he said hurriedly, "but I've got some bad news to tell you. I just had a phone call with Ed and…" "Is he alright? What happened?"  
"He told me Tom has had an accident and is in hospital! Ed was going there straight away and asked if I could tell you." "An accident?" she repeated.  
Henry could see she was upset. She sat down on the sofa, hands in front of her face. "Could this day get any worse?" he heard her mumble. "I am really sorry for my part in that!" he said, but she didn't seem to hear. Henry felt awkward; he didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort her, but wasn't sure if she'd allow him to.  
He sat down next to her. She didn't seem to notice.  
After a few minutes Frankie sat up straight and then stood up. "Sitting here like this isn't going to help. I need to get there as quickly as possible. They will need me!" Henry looked amazed at her. That girl was strong!  
"Ehhm, Henry, did Ed mention where he is?" She turned to him.  
He could still see tears in her eyes, but somehow she'd gathered herself and it was clear she now was only thinking of Tom and Ed and their family.  
"Oh, eh, I think he said Basingstoke? If you get your stuff together, I'll check with him and then we can take the first train in that direction."  
Frankie agreed, hurried downstairs to quickly tell her mum she was leaving and to pack a bag. Henry called Ed, asked how things were, told about their plans and noted down the address. Just when he was checking when the next train would be leaving, Frankie came to tell she was ready.  
Only then, Henry realised the camera was still there. He pointed at it.  
"Oops! I'm very sorry. I'm so used to the thing I forget it's there sometimes. I'll see if it's any good later and if I will post it."  
"Please don't delete anything on my account," said Henry reassuringly. She nodded.

After also packing the camera, they walked to the station. Henry offered to carry her bag and was surprised she accepted. They hardly talked, both deep in thought.  
At the station, after buying Frankie's ticket, the train was already waiting. They found a seat and sat down.  
Frankie looked at him. "I'm sort of glad for not having to travel alone. I think I need some distraction! I assume you will go on after Basingstoke to London? It's on the route after all."  
Henry was happy she didn't seem to despise his company. He said: "If you want I can go with you to the hospital, see how things are and if I can help out or something."  
Frankie looked a bit surprised, but then smiled. "That is very kind of you!"  
The train left the station.  
"You know," said Frankie. "When I was here I wanted to go back to Mansfield, but now I'm leaving, I wish I didn't have to."  
"You didn't have time to say goodbye to Will!" She nodded.  
"I will text him now. And maybe I can upload the video so he can hear the details."  
She sat to work, first on her phone and then on her laptop.  
"Does it take you long to edit a video?" he asked.  
"Not much. After making these for so long I've got used to doing it, so it's not too difficult anymore."  
"May I watch how you do it?"  
She looked at him quite embarrassed.  
"Ehhm, I'm not really sure. You're in it, you know. I don't think I feel comfortable with that."  
Henry nodded. "I understand!" He looked out of the window for a while, but then turned to her again.  
"Frankie, I have to confess something." She looked up in surprise.  
"This afternoon, when I left you I intended to leave for London straight away. However, at the station I missed my train and had to wait for quite a while. I got on my laptop to do some work or so, but instead I found your videos on YouTube…"  
Frankie changed colour and lowered her head.  
"Oh no, not you as well!" was her reply. "Henry, I'm so sorry for everything I've said about you and for all the times you were in it. I only know since a few days that it's all public. I thought Will had sorted the privacy of the videos but apparently not well enough. I'm so sorry!"  
"Please, don't be sorry, Frankie. I am not angry at you for it! I knew you made them. And by watching them today I started to understand a bit how you feel about me. Also I am very ashamed of how I behaved. Somehow I could see myself in those videos through your eyes and I have been awful to you and to the others! I am the one who has to say sorry! I don't know what I can do to make amends!" He looked earnestly at her.  
He could see a whirlwind of emotions going on inside her. He was a bit surprised. Since when was he so discerning as to what she was thinking? He had thought he could before. Thought she had returned his feelings. But how wrong was he then!

Instead of saying anything she returned her attention to her laptop to edit the latest video. But he could see she was a bit distracted. He could hear the sounds softly and heard his own voice. She had recorded their conversation that afternoon as well. She looked very embarrassed, but said: "Henry, maybe you should see it after all, before I post anything!"  
Henry quickly got up and sat next to her. Without a word they watched the video.  
"You know Frankie, when I walked away then, I was angry at you and thought you were playing with me. It seemed so contradictory. You sort of invited me to your house but then still pulled out. But now I'm only angry at myself. I took advantage of you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry!"  
Frankie looked up. "I can understand you were confused and angry. I was just as confused and angry as you. You heard my last bit before you came in at home. I think my anger has subsided, but I'm still confused. I have seen you change the last few weeks, but I'm still not sure. This last hour you have proved your change even more! Thank you for your help and for being there! I really appreciate that!"  
With some hesitation she added: "Since you've seen it all, there is another reason I couldn't accept you. There is… someone else."  
Henry looked at her with compassion. "I know, it's Ed, isn't it?" He felt for her. It must have been so difficult these last months! He had seen Ed fall for Mary and he hadn't thought much of it. But now he could see how it had affected Frankie.

"Yes," was her simple answer. "I don't think I can talk about it at the moment, not with you. I'm sorry."  
"Not a problem. That would be your decision!" Henry got up and moved back to his seat. "Oh and, I don't mind you posting that video. Leave it all in, if you want to."  
She nodded. "Thank you again for being there for me!"  
For ten minutes she was busy on the laptop and then with a sigh she said: "Well, it's online now." Then she closed her laptop and put it away in the bag.

"So, now I do need some distraction! Did you like your time in Portsmouth? Have you seen much in the time you weren't at the conference or hanging out with me?"  
"Ah yes," Henry smiled and sat up straight. "I actually enjoyed being there! It was nice to see it all, after hearing you and Will talking so much about it. I sort of regret not having seen Will though! I was wondering how he was doing in his new place."  
Frankie laughed a bit. "Don't worry. He is doing really well and thanks you again for your efforts towards it!"  
"Well, I'm glad to hear that!"  
Henry looked on his watch. "We should be there soon now."  
All of a sudden Frankie looked worried again.  
"I guess Mr. and Mrs. Bertram should be there already. It's a good thing it's quite near home."

Ten minutes later they got off the train. When outside the station Henry looked for the best way to get to the hospital. Luckily there was a bus waiting for them which would bring them near the hospital.  
"I'm glad internet exists," Frankie said. "I've never been here and it would have been difficult to find the way! Also, I sometimes find it a bit daunting to be in a place I've never been before. Therefore, it's nice to not be on my own! Thanks again!"  
"Hey, it's nothing! You have been thanking me all day for stuff! That's not good for my ego you know!" Henry winked.  
"All right then. But I do mean it, Henry!" "I know, I know!"

Finally they arrived at the hospital. Ed had been warned that they were coming, so when they entered, he was anxiously waiting for them.  
Frankie almost ran into his arms and hugged him.  
"I'm so glad you're here!" said Ed.  
"Me too!" Frankie looked a bit relieved. "What is the latest news?"

"Well, Tom is still unconscious. They need to operate him, but because of his current condition they can't yet. Mum and dad are here and so is Mary. Julia said she is on her way. I don't know about Rhea and Rory."  
"So, do you know how it happened? Was he alone in the car?"  
"No, apparently someone else was driving. There were four others in the car, but Tom was the only one who needed to go to the hospital. We haven't seen or heard anything yet from his friends!"  
"That's awful!" Henry said, silently wishing he hadn't been so harsh at first about Tom.  
Ed turned to him. "Thanks for bringing Frankie here!"  
"I didn't bring her here. She allowed me to accompany her, which I'm quite surprised about still."  
"Ah, yes, I forgot you were coming by train and not by car. Still, thank you!"  
Ed went ahead of them through various corridors to a waiting room where they found Mary sitting all by herself.  
"Are my parents still with Tom?" Ed asked her.  
"Yes, they haven't come out yet." She looked like she had been crying a lot.  
Henry was really surprised to see her here and in that state. He hadn't thought her capable of such strong emotions and especially not for Tom, whom she wouldn't think much of.  
He saw that Frankie was also very surprised and not very pleased to see his sister here.  
"Didn't expect to see you here sister!"  
"And I you!" She said a bit defensive. "It's your fault really Henry, for not being more clear! When you sent that text I thought you were talking about Ed. I was mortified about the idea that he might die! I only found out that it was Tom, when I arrived here."  
"I am really sorry about that! I was in a hurry, that's why I probably forgot to be more specific!"

Ed took Frankie into the room where Tom was. They were in there only a very short time, for the doctors and nurses were busy with him.  
Henry saw the shock on her face when they came out again.  
"How is he?" he asked.  
"He looks absolutely awful. A scary sight to see him like that! They say it's a miracle he came out alive!"  
She sat down next to him.  
"Everything considered it looks like Mrs. Bertram is doing quite well. I really feel for them! This must be so awful!"  
"And what about you? How are you doing at the moment?" Henry saw that she was struggling, yet keeping it together for the people around her.  
"Me? I don't yet allow myself to take time to think about that. I must be strong! What use is there to sit here and cry?!"  
"Frankie!" He put his hand on her arm. "No one expects from you to keep it together. You are allowed your emotions! I can see you are struggling. I think it's good for you to express what you feel!"  
Frankie didn't need more encouragement. She started to cry. It seemed all emotions of the day were released and for a while she couldn't speak. Henry carefully put his arm around her shoulders. She let him. She must need someone to care for her. Ed was sitting on the other side of the room, talking in a whisper with Mary.  
Henry was still surprised to see them being so close! In the whole of their relationship they hadn't talked that much seriously as now, at least as far as he'd seen. He had been there some days ago, before he had left for Portsmouth, seeing them engaged in yet another argument. How that relationship had worked at all until now, was a complete mystery to him. They were so different!  
Yet everything that had happened today seemed to have brought a big change and they finally seemed to really be talking!

Henry returned his attention to Frankie, who gradually became a bit calmer.  
"You ok?" He asked.  
"A bit better I think." Her voice was shaky. "But…"  
Ed interrupted: "We're gonna get a drink. Do you guys want anything?"  
Frankie looked up. "I think I can do with a cup of tea!"  
"Will do! What about you Henry?"  
"I think I need a strong coffee, please."  
Ed and Mary left the room, hand in hand.  
Frankie stared at them leaving and then turned away, with another burst of tears.  
"I feel awful," she sobbed. "I'm such a bad person! All that time I had hoped something would change and now…" Her voice wavered.  
"It's totally understandable, Frankie! Don't beat yourself up for it please! There's enough going on already without you also feeling a load of guilt!"  
"I've been trying so hard!" she cried. "I'm so exhausted!"  
She leaned towards him and he embraced her.  
She looked up into his eyes with tears on her cheeks. How beautiful she was and how he loved her!  
Then, all of a sudden she leaned further towards him, eyes on his lips.  
A bit uncomfortable he slowly moved back, not wanting to scare her. She looked confused.  
"Now is not the right time, dear," he said softly.  
She backed away, embarrassed. "Sorry Henry, I couldn't help myself. You must despise me! I'm so inconsistent!"  
"No, don't ever think that! Your emotions are all over the place and it's easy to get confused. I do not blame you! Just give yourself time to get yourself together.  
Oh, and I promise I won't tell anyone!"  
She smiled through her tears.  
"Thank you for that! It would ruin my reputation you know." All of a sudden she laughed. "And what to think of your own reputation! A girl tries to kiss you and you won't even let her! That's unheard of!" He laughed with her. "You didn't feel my struggle just then! But I'm sure I'll get over it!" He winked.  
She looked up at him. "Is it really you, Henry? I hardly recognise you anymore. You're definitely the stronger one right now! I really admire you!"  
Her praise made him blush.  
"I must admit, I'm a bit amazed too! I bet Mary wouldn't recognise me like this!"  
Her face darkened at the mention of Mary.  
"Sorry. But I do want you to know that if you allow me, I'm there for you when you need a friend. But it's your decision! If you want me to back off, I'll do that. I leave it to you!"  
"Thank you!" was her answer. "You have proved yourself already as a good and caring friend and I really value that!"

**Chapter 2**

They sat up straight when Ed and Mary came back again.  
They were having their drinks in silence, until Ed got a message. "Julia is downstairs! I'll go and get her!" And with that he walked out again.  
A door opened and Mr. and Mrs. Bertram came out. When Mrs. Bertram saw Frankie she hurried towards her. Frankie stood up and embraced her.  
"Frankie, I'm so glad you're here! I'm really worried about Tom, you know!" Mr. Bertram embraced Frankie as well. "Thank you for coming! Both of you!"  
Then he turned to his wife. "They are taking good care of him. I'm sure he'll be alright! Come, Maria, let's get ourselves a drink!" He continued to Frankie: "They're doing all sorts of tests at the moment, so we needed to leave."  
Mary stood up: "I'll get you a drink! What do you want?"  
Mr. and Mrs. Bertram gratefully accepted and sat down near Frankie while Mary rushed off to get two cups of tea.  
"That girl has been surprisingly supportive!" Mr. Bertram said. "I didn't take her for that sort of a person! Oh," he continued looking at Henry, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything bad about your sister!"  
"Don't worry sir, I'm just as surprised as you are!"

Ed and Julia entered. Julia ran to her parents into their arms. "How is he doing? Is there any more news? I tried to be here as quickly as possible, but the trains were a nightmare!"  
She looked around and first saw Frankie and then Henry.  
Her face reddened and the glance she shot at him was plain hostile.  
"What's he doing here?"  
Right at that moment Mary entered with the drinks. Before she could give them to Mr and Mrs Bertram, Julia turned to her.  
"And she? Why are they here? This is none of their business!"  
"Julia!" tried Mr. Bertram.  
"No dad, tell me why they're here. They've been trying to ruin our family and yet here they are. I bet inwardly they're celebrating their triumph! I can't bear to see them! Get the * out of here!"  
She was seething.  
Ed quickly got to her and made her sit down.  
"Listen Julia! We know you're as upset as we are about Tom! But that is no reason to accuse Henry and Mary of all sorts of things! Please try to calm down and then explain what you're talking about!"  
"Really, does none of you know? Mary, tell them about your videos! And Henry, what about your adventures with Rhea? Please enlighten them all before you leave!" She sneered.  
Henry recoiled as if he had been slapped in the face! Mary didn't look any better. He looked at Frankie! She was as white as if she was about to faint.  
He wanted to support her, but with a shock he realised that this probably had become impossible all of a sudden! The trust, slowly built during this day, the openness between them, all were shattered in one instant!  
He was furious at Julia for barging in and causing even more chaos!

Then he heard Mary speak. Everyone looked at her, when she was trying to put some words together. She was really struggling.  
"I… Julia is… I can't… not now… Ed?" She almost collapsed. Ed caught her just in time.  
"Julia, see what you've been doing now! You certainly know how to choose your time!" He sneered at her.  
Julia was now crying and so were Frankie and Mrs. Bertram.  
"But if you really demand we sort this out now, I can give you the answer Julia!" Ed looked at Mary who couldn't speak but nodded.  
"Mary has also been making videos for a while now. She has posted them for everyone to see. I haven't had time yet to watch them, but she told me she's been saying some awful things about us and had also been encouraging Henry to go after Frankie." Here he paused to look at Frankie, who looked ill.  
"So, Julia, I don't know what you know, but I do know Mary is very sorry about all she'd said."  
"I really am, Julia!" came Mary's unsteady voice. "Today somehow turned my life upside down! Through some miscommunication" here she looked at Henry, "I thought Ed was the one who had the accident and I was so terrified he might die that I rushed here. The last few weeks I have been awful to him and I was afraid anything I had said had caused the accident. Seeing Ed here alive and well nearly knocked me out! Of course I am worried about Tom and have tried to be of use here for your family. Ed and I have already been talking quite a lot and so I also told him about the videos. Now I don't know if he'll still have me, but I'm willing to change! I am really sorry for all the unrest I've caused in your family and hope that through time you'll be able to forgive me. You too, Frankie!"  
Ed looked at Mary. "I am proud of you, you know!" he said. "I forgive you and I love you! I know I'm not a saint in all this and I have to change a lot as well. But together we'll try to get back to our feet again!" He kissed her.

Julia looked still upset, but a bit less agitated.  
Henry was amazed at his sister! He hardly recognised her! This really must have been a shock for her!  
Then he heard a small voice next to him.  
"And what about you Henry?" Frankie didn't sound angry. There was just pain in her voice. He looked at her and saw that pain mirrored in her eyes. He felt all of a sudden very weary.

But instead of answering her, he turned to Julia.  
"Yes Julia, you've seen it all. I have to confess I did have an affair with Rhea. And have long since regretted it, especially since I've started to fall for Frankie. I have tried to avoid Rhea as much as possible after that. You know that. You also know that Rhea kept seeking me out. This doesn't release me from my part, but there are two sides to the story. I am very sorry for the part I played and I really wish it undone! There is a lot more to say, but I prefer to do that to the person concerned in private!"  
He sighed deeply and then looked at Frankie. He could still see the pain in her eyes, and sadness, but also some relief it seemed. She leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment.  
Julia now just looked like a deflated balloon. Her father tried to comfort her.

A door was opened and a doctor came out. They all sat up straight.  
"Relatives of Tom Bertram? I can say he is so far stable that we're going to try to operate him. This is of vital importance, because we have to stop some internal bleeding. Once we've sorted that out, we can look to what has to be done next! As soon as there is news, someone will come and tell you!"  
In a moment he disappeared again.  
They were all silent for a moment. The gravity of the situation became clear again! For the moment all the struggles and other problems were forgotten.

Later Henry couldn't remember how they got through the next two hours, but they somehow managed. Mrs. Bertram was dozing and Julia had her eyes closed. Mr Bertram was pacing the room and Ed and Mary seemed to need to be alone with each other, so they frequently went off somewhere for a little while and then return to see if there was news.  
Frankie looked like a ghost, but she wasn't crying.  
He himself felt exhausted and suddenly got up. He was longing for some fresh air.  
When he walked out he felt Frankie's gaze follow him.  
The fresh air did him good. He revived a little bit. What a weird day this has been and it seemed it wasn't over yet. He thought about that morning. Although the conference hadn't been that bad, it was a distant memory now. It seemed so trivial.

He felt years older! Not only his body but also his mind was exhausted. Too many things had happened.  
His meeting with Frankie he really had looked forward to, but that had ended in disappointment; watching her videos. Seeing her again so soon. Their trip on the train and then the time in this hospital.  
Although he was worried about her etc. he had felt some hope inside, more than he had when he had left her the first time that afternoon. Her feelings for him seemed to be deeper than even she had realised, but he wasn't sure now how this ever could be mended again. Maybe he needed to leave to give her the space she needed.

He hadn't paid attention to where he was going, but when he looked around him, he found himself very near the A&E entrance and, although it was 10 o'clock in the evening, it was quite busy with people walking in and out and ambulances coming and going.  
Quickly he turned around and found his way back to the main entrance.  
A little blond figure was standing under the light of a lamppost. She only saw him when he was nearby.  
She looked agitated.  
"Where were you? You weren't thinking of running away now, were you?"  
"You thought I would do that without telling you?" He asked.  
She was hesitant in her answer: "Well, you have done that before."  
"I know. But I told you earlier on that I'll stay as long as you want me to. And I intend to keep my word!"  
He changed the subject.  
"It's nice to be in the fresh air for a bit, isn't it? You've got some more colour on your cheeks now."  
"Thanks, I do feel a bit better!"  
"Do you want to go for a little walk?"

They set off, leaving the hospital premises and found a park nearby. It was dark, but that didn't really matter. It was nice to be in the open air. First they were silent for a while, enjoying the surroundings. Suddenly Frankie stopped to look up to the sky. "I'm surprised how many stars are visible here, even though we're in the middle of a city. At Mansfield I always love to look at the stars! It's such a remote place, so there are loads of stars visible."  
Henry looked up with her and was surprised how beautiful it was.  
"You know, because of living in London, I don't think I ever was really interested in nature. The city is always so full of light, so I doubt you'd see any stars at all. But I've never checked to be honest."  
He vaguely remembered ridiculing Mary for watching the stars with Ed at the beginning of their stay at Mansfield.  
It was strange how trying to look through another person's eyes made you appreciate more of your surroundings.  
"Will once told me about the first time he was at full sea at night. He said that was one of the moments he felt he definitely made the right choice for a job!" She smiled as she thought of her brother.  
"Has he reacted yet on your video?" He asked.  
"No not yet. I know he was quite busy today, so he probably hasn't seen it yet."  
Her face changed again.  
"Do you think they're finished with Tom yet? Maybe we should go back."  
"I honestly don't know, but I am sure that Ed would text us if there was any news." She nodded.  
"Let's walk until the end of this path then and then go back."  
They walked on.  
"I am really tired, but I sort of do feel refreshed a bit. It was a good idea to go outside."  
"Yes, I agree!"  
"Henry?" she turned to him. "You said there was more to be said. You know, about the whole thing with Rhea. I don't know if you meant to me or if I'm ready to hear it, but anyway…"  
"Yes, I did say that. It's mainly that I wanted to apologise to you for my behaviour! I know you've seen a lot of it, but also for the things you didn't see. Even after Rhea was married, we kept seeing each other secretly when I was in London. At the time I thought there was nothing wrong with it. I could see she wasn't happy in her marriage and I somehow thought I was helping her by giving her some adventure. Since I genuinely fell for you, Frankie, I have tried to avoid her as much as possible, although I did see her a few times. And sometimes it was really tempting you know! Especially when I was frustrated about my feelings for you and about your lack of feelings for me.  
I also have to tell you, when I left you this afternoon I felt wounded and it really was my intention to go straight to her when I would arrive in London, in an attempt to forget you and the pain I felt. But it seems Providence had other plans and made me miss my train and, well, you know the rest. I am really, really glad I missed that train!"  
He looked at her to see her reaction.  
She stopped and grabbed his hand.  
"Thank you for your honesty! I have been angry at you for messing things up, not just with Rhea and Julia but as well for messing up my feelings and my sanity. I was conflicted all the time. I couldn't trust you after all I had seen, but I did enjoy spending time with you and I was angry at myself that I allowed myself to enjoy your company!  
I am starting to trust you more now, but I feel it will take some more time to forgive you completely! I am sorry about that, but I am slow to change.  
Also, Ed and Mary is still a raw thing and I don't know how long it will take to grieve over that or for my feelings to subside if ever. I think I've been in love with Ed for about 3 years now you know…" Her voice trailed away, apparently caught up in memories.  
Henry was moved!  
"Now I have to thank you for being so honest and trusting me by telling me all this! I promise you I will keep trying to prove and improve myself. I want to become a better person, not just for you, but for myself! I don't want to go back to the way I was before!  
I realise we have talked a lot about serious things today and at different times we have told each other how we feel. Earlier today I said that I was willing to wait as long as needed until you say you love me back. I think that was not the right thing, because it puts you under pressure! But I do want you to be a guide, so to speak. I won't talk about my feelings, unless you ask. I will try to become a good friend first which is probably more important right now!  
Now, shall we be done with confessions and serious talk? Let's walk on."  
Although it was dark, he could see she looked a bit happier. "Yes, I think that's a good idea! As friends we could face the battles of the future!" she said with her funny dramatic voice! She giggled. For the first time today.  
They started walking again, but she didn't let go of his hand. It felt… good! Henry felt a bit more optimistic. Becoming good friends sounded for the moment more exciting than trying to win her heart.

**Chapter 3**

After about 20 minutes they arrived, hand in hand, back in the waiting room.  
They were met with some agitation! Ed hurried towards them.  
"Where have you guys been? I've tried to contact you!"  
Both Henry and Frankie reached for their phones and discovered some missed calls.  
"So sorry," Frankie stammered with a blush. "What is the matter?"  
"Well, the doctor came to tell that the operation went well and that until tomorrow they'll let him recover from this, before they move on to a next operation. He is still unconscious but stable."  
Frankie looked relieved. "That is good to hear!" she smiled.  
Ed continued: "We are now discussing who should go home and who should stay, since there is no need for us all to stay here. It's better for us all to take some rest. So we best take it in turns to be here. We sort of decided that me and my dad will stay, but we have a slight problem with transport for the rest of you. Mary doesn't feel like she can drive yet…"  
"Well, I can drive," Henry interrupted. "Only. Mary, you came with my car right?" And when she nodded, "My car is too small for all of us to fit in. Ed, could we borrow your car?"  
"Excellent idea, Crawford!" Ed looked relieved. "Well that's sorted then. I think you guys should go now. Please take your rest. And mum," he looked at his mother, "do not worry! Tom will be alright and we will be here with him."  
Mrs Bertram nodded. "I won't worry. And I have Frankie with me. She will help me." Ed smiled and then looked at Frankie. "You don't mind?" He mouthed at her. She answered reassuringly.  
Before they left, Ed took Frankie aside.  
"You ok?" He asked.  
"Yes, I'm fine! Why?"  
"Well, with the Henry-stuff etc. I was worried about you, you know!"  
"Thank you! I was pretty distressed at first, but much better now!"  
"Good to hear!" He gave her a quick hug and then saw Henry looking at them.  
"Well, goodbye to you and see you tomorrow I guess!"

After hugs and goodbye-kisses all around, Henry and the ladies set off to get back to Mansfield Park.  
When they were only ten minutes on their way, Mrs Bertram had nodded off on the passenger seat and Julia was also fighting against her sleep.  
Mary leaned over to Frankie.  
"Frankie," she whispered, "again I'm so sorry for everything. Please can you forgive me? I have been so selfish and although I've said that earlier without any regret, I am sorry about it now and really want to change!"  
Frankie gave her a quick hug. "I can't forgive just yet but I will do my best. And I appreciate your efforts! I still count you as one of my good friends!"  
Mary sounded relieved when she said: "Thank you for that. I really need good friends now you know, to keep me on the right path."  
"And I will be glad to help you with that." Frankie laughed.  
Henry was happy when he heard all that! To have the two girls he valued most in life, be good friends!  
Soon it seemed everyone, except Henry, was fast asleep. Henry didn't mind the quiet and the dark. He enjoyed the drive and having time to think uninterrupted.  
After about half an hour he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"Henry, how far is it still?" Frankie whispered.  
"I thought you were asleep." He replied, smiling. "But we're about a quarter of an hour away from Mansfield now."  
"You ok?" she asked. "Or do I need to keep you awake?" She rubbed his shoulders.  
He laughed softly. "Please don't distract the driver. I need all my attention to the road you know."  
"Well, I'm very sorry sir and it won't happen again." She giggled.  
"Shh, don't wake the others!"  
She giggled again.  
Henry was happy.

After the promised fifteen minutes he drove the car until the front door and they all got out. Frankie had to support Mrs Bertram and Henry gave Mary an arm. Julia managed on her own. Luckily Mrs Norris was nowhere to be seen so everyone got to their rooms without interruption.  
Just before Frankie went up to her own room, she turned to Henry to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Henry! Good night!"  
Then she walked up the stairs and Henry went to his own room and fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow!


	2. Chapter 4-6

**Chapter 4**

Henry came back from his run, refreshed and invigorated. How he had missed these runs in the past few weeks!  
Ten minutes later he came into the breakfast room of the hotel. He found his sister there with a cup of coffee. She looked a bit better than the evening before, but she still didn't look herself.  
"Good morning sister. Had any sleep?"  
She startled, had been miles away with her thoughts.  
"Morning. Yes, had some sleep but woke up at four thirty or so and have been wandering around since. I asked for the strongest coffee to get me alert again. What about you then, brother?"  
"Never been better!" he said, almost enthusiastically.  
"Ooh, that must be Frankie's doing…" she teased. "She's definitely got you under her spell… But you do look disgustingly fresh. I bet you've even had your run already!"  
He ignored her mention of Frankie but just nodded and then walked towards the breakfast buffet to get some food.  
At that moment another door opened and Frankie walked in. She looked still very sleepy.  
Henry's eyes lit up at seeing her.  
"Good morning, Franko! How are you then this morning? Can I get you something?"  
"Ah, good morning Henry, morning Mary. I'm alright I think. Although I feel I could sleep another day."  
She accepted a cup of strong coffee and then sat down with them. "I'm not really hungry, although, if I remember well, my last proper meal was yesterday morning I think."  
Henry, who had been tucking into a bowl of cereal, hungry after his run, stood up. "Let me get you some good food then, because you'll need the energy!"  
He walked away. "Don't… bother" Frankie said, but he pretended he didn't hear.  
He came back with a little bowl of porridge, a piece of toast and an orange.  
"Here you go! Do you think you could eat that all?"  
Frankie laughed. "I was half dreading you'd bring me one of those awful looking shakes. But this looks good enough, thank you. I'll try." He laughed at the disgust on her face.  
She took a few bites. "You know what, I am hungry, I just didn't realise." She laughed at him.  
They sat for a while, eating in silence. Then a phone rang. "Ah, Ed's calling me," Mary said. "I'll back. Hi Ed, how are you?" she walked out of the room.  
Frankie turned to Henry. "Wow, you look… fresh. I guess you already went for a run? I don't know how you do it!" Henry laughed. "Habit, you know. It does wake me up and gets me started. I didn't have time the past few days and I really missed it!  
But, how did you sleep? How are you?"  
"Well, other than that I need another day's sleep, I think I am ok. I think I fell asleep straight away although I was afraid I wouldn't be able to."  
Mary came in again.  
"How is he? How is Tom?" Frankie asked.  
"Well, I think Ed's exhausted. He said he tried to sleep, but you know how uncomfortable those chairs are. Tom has had a quiet night, which is a good sign I guess. He'll call when there's more news."  
She sat down to finish her coffee.  
"Oh," she jumped up again. "I need to tell Mrs Bertram and Julia!" She wanted to walk out and almost bumped into Julia.  
"Ah here you all are," she greeted.  
"Dad texted me to see who's going next to the hospital. I know mum wants to go and so do I. But who's gonna drive us?" She looked bit frustrated. "I hate it to be depended on anyone with the name of Crawford, but I guess I have to." She muttered.  
"Thanks, I guess?" said Henry, a bit sarcastically. "But don't worry, we're good drivers. And I'm more than willing to drive you!"  
Mary interrupted. "I can drive. I want to go to see Ed, so I can bring you as well. Henry and Frankie, maybe you guys should come this afternoon. I know Ed wouldn't want to leave but he'll need to get home to get a nap and maybe Mr Bertram as well. We'll take care of that and maybe you can take over their shift."  
Frankie didn't look very pleased, but she said nothing.  
"That sounds alright to me," Henry said.  
Julia and Mary walked out to get themselves ready to leave for Basingstoke.  
"I really don't like it when she does that you know," Frankie muttered. When Henry looked confused, she went on:  
"Deciding for me what I'll do. I don't like to be dictated!"  
"Ah, I've seen that. I know it must be annoying. But this time I think she's right. May I give you some advice? It's up to you whether you do anything with it or not. But maybe you could try to have another few hours of sleep. You need it, as you yourself said."  
She looked as if she'd take the advice, but said: "Now you're doing the same as Mary, telling me what to do."  
"I know, I'm awful, am I not?" He winked. "But someone needs to look after you!"  
"Thank you for that. Well I do think I'll take your advice. I might even make a video for Will, now I've got the time!" She got up. "Well, see you later then!"  
He smiled and waved at her.  
In silence he finished his breakfast and then went to his room. There he was reminded that he was living in an hotel after all. Someone was changing the bed and doing some dusting. He grabbed his laptop and escaped to find a better place. It was beautiful weather so he went outside and sat on the patio. First he sent his uncle an email about the changed plans and did some more work-related things. After that he watched some of Frankie's videos and got totally caught up in them…

A few hours later Henry had got himself a cup of coffee and was now happily working on his comic book. He was so glad he had really gotten back into drawing! He thoroughly enjoyed doing it. And Frankie had been a great encourager with all her ideas!  
At that moment he heard her shout.  
"Hey, Romeo!" He looked up, a bit surprised and then saw her hanging out of the window.  
"Sorry, I couldn't resist!" she continued. "I just wanted to show you something. Have you got time?" Before he could answer she turned her head back into the house and he heard her muffled "Sorry", probably to Mrs Norris.  
He got up and went into the house, to her room. On the stairs he met with an angry looking Mrs Norris, but he ignored her.  
A moment later he knocked on Frankie's bedroom door.  
"Come in," was the reply.  
She looked a bit flustered and whispered: "Is she gone?"  
"Mrs Norris? Yes, I met her on the stairs."  
"Ah good, you should have heard how she was trying to lecture me that 'I should be more considerate and shouting from a window was definitely not done for a representative of the hotel'!"  
"Let it go! You're an adult. That woman should stop bossing you around like she always does. You're not even working at the moment."  
And then: "But, Juliette, what be the thing you wanted to show me? Be you not glad I didn't climb up the rain pipe to thy balcony?" She laughed.  
"I thought you were a good actor. But you'll make a poor Romeo!"  
She continued: "I just wanted to show you my new video for Will. Since I'm mentioning you of course. Annoying actually: now I know everyone can see it, I feel like I have to have it censured by everyone I talk about!"  
Henry laughed. "Well, I am honoured to be the first one to see it and I would never say no to that! But really, next time, you don't need to ask me. I trust you wouldn't say anything untrue or anything I wouldn't deserve to be mentioned. So, on my account censure is unnecessary."  
She looked a bit relieved.  
"Good, that will save me time in editing! Besides, if I would edit too much, it wouldn't feel real anymore if you see what I mean. Right, so you still want to see it? Sit down and watch." So they did:

'Hi Will! As you see I'm back at Mansfield Park!  
I'm sorry I left so suddenly yesterday without saying goodbye, but you know the reason why. I couldn't have thought I'd be here today when I said goodbye to you, yesterday morning!

First the news about Tom: the latest news is that he got through the night alright and is stable at the moment. They operated him last night to stop some internal bleeding. Today they're gonna assess what the next step will be! Mr Bertram and Ed stayed in the hospital overnight and this morning Mary drove down with Julia and Mrs B.  
But let me first go back to the beginning, since my text to you, yesterday was in a hurry and although some of it was said on camera yesterday, I don't think it was very clear.  
So, Tom was in a car accident. He was a passenger with four others in the car and I don't know how it happened, but anyway, Tom was the only one who needed to go to the hospital. His 'friends' didn't need medical attention at all and from what I understood from Ed they haven't even contacted him to see how he is!

For some reason Ed was on the phone with Henry when he got the news and he asked if Henry could tell me, which you saw in my last video. So we took the train to Basingstoke to get to the hospital.  
Ed was there of course, and Mr and Mrs Bertram. And Mary. That certainly was a surprise! Apparently when she heard the news, she thought Ed had had the accident and she was so afraid he would die, that she rushed straight to the hospital. Whether it was the shock I don't know but she seemed… different. I hardly recognized her. Whether this change will be permanent, I don't know, but we will see.

Anyway, so we sat all there together, waiting for any news; plenty of tears, lots of talking. Then Julia arrived. And she kind of dropped a bombshell and suffice to say, it was not pretty! She demanded Henry and Mary to leave and demanded they'd tell how they had ruined the family. At which Mary basically collapsed. It turns out she had been making videos as well, but unlike myself, she knew they were public. I haven't watched any of it yet, and I'm not sure if I want to, but apparently she has been saying some awful things about Ed and about the rest of the family. Also she had apparently been manipulating Henry into going after me.  
She had told Ed some time yesterday about it, so he knew everything. Their relationship hadn't been particularly good of late, but now they seem to work on it and are nigh inseparable.  
You can imagine how painful it is for me to watch that. I nearly lost it a few times yesterday evening. But Henry has been such an amazing friend and so supportive!  
Oh, yes, Henry! You're probably dying to know about him and me.  
Well, I definitely got to know this new Henry a bit better yesterday! He told me he found my videos yesterday when he was waiting for the train and because of that, he was still in Portsmouth when the news came about Tom.  
I was glad to have him come with me! You know how I am with new places, especially combined with a situation like this!  
We talked a lot before and after 'the bombshell'. Ah, yes, his part in 'ruining' the Bertram family? Apparently he had been cheating with Rhea ever since Lovers Vows, even after she was married.  
Looking back, I can't really be surprised about it, seeing what I saw, as you did. But still I was quite shocked about it all. He told me that since he really got interested in me, he regretted the whole thing and has been trying to avoid Rhea as much as possible. Knowing Rhea this must have been difficult at times! But he said he was really sorry about it all and I can see he is. He is really trying to be a better person, and I think yesterday is proof that he's doing not bad at all!  
We've settled on becoming good friends for now. I'm definitely not ready for more at the moment. And he respects that and leaves it to me.  
So yes, that's what we're at, at the moment.

Back to yesterday evening, Tom had an operation and that went quite well, all things considered. After all this, Henry drove us all back home, with the exception of Ed and Mr Bertram of course.  
We're hoping to go down to the hospital later today, so we all can take it in turns to be with Tom.  
I'll keep you updated as well as I can and for now goodbye and I love you!  
Oh, yes, I will ask Henry and Mary if it's ok to post the things I've said about them, before I actually post. P.s. If you see Suzy, please tell her I'm sorry I couldn't meet with her yesterday evening as we had planned! P.p.s. please could you also tell mum the news? Not everything of course! Just the news about Tom will do. And tell her thank you for letting me stay with them and I will be back some time.'

Frankie looked a bit embarrassed at Henry.  
"Thank you for showing this to me," he said. "But may I please suggest another P.s.? No need to change the rest."  
"Of course, what is it?"  
"It's just that you said Mary had been manipulating me about you. That is not entirely how it went. I was the one who started the whole thing, but she didn't discourage me and gave me even tips. As you know she was the one who raided your bookshelves for me."  
"True, I remember that. Maybe I need to see those videos first. But then, I don't know if I want to."  
He nodded.  
"I knew she made them, but have never watched them back to be honest. Maybe one day we could watch them together."  
"Maybe," she said. She was quiet for a moment.  
"You know, come to think of it, I remember she did tell me about her plans once, to start a vlog as well, for her friends. But after that she never said anything about it, so I forgot." She laughed. "I don't know if she would be pleased to hear me saying this, but that afternoon she showed me a baby picture of you!" She giggled at the memory of it.  
Henry was not pleasantly surprised.  
"Did she really? How on earth did she get that picture?"  
"Ehhm, if I remember well, from your aunt or so? In fact, I think that conversation was caught on camera. Clearly you haven't watched that one yet. Do you want to see it?"  
"Hmm, I'd better. So I can give her a good telling off, next time I see her."  
After some searching on her computer, Frankie showed him the video.  
"Well, Frankie, I promise I won't kill you for it, but Mary might not be safe for a while." He laughed after they finished watching.  
"Sorry I'm not that cute anymore and my cheeks aren't chubby anymore either…"  
She glanced at him with a laugh in her eyes. "I won't ask you if I could squeeze your cheeks, then."  
She turned away. "Sorry, that sounded so wrong!" They both laughed hard.  
He didn't say it, but he really enjoyed this care-free conversation with Frankie. It was so good to hear her laugh so freely!

"Well, now I will first have to ask Mary as well, before I can post the video, but I don't know when would be the best time. Somehow I think she's not in the right mood for it right now."  
Henry grabbed his phone. "Let me try and sort that now. If she hasn't got time at the moment, we'll know and otherwise we have it sorted in no time."  
He rang and luckily Mary picked up the phone quite quickly.  
"Hi sister. Are you busy at the moment?"  
"No, not really. We're still hanging around, waiting for more news. Why?"  
"Well, Frankie was updating Will on everything that happened. But she wanted to ask your consent first before posting. She just told about the discovery of your videos and what you had been saying."  
"Ah well, no problem. I know Frankie wouldn't exaggerate or twist the truth so I trust it should be fine."  
"Great! Thanks Mares! Keep well and say hi to everyone there!"  
"No problem, Henry. Enjoy your time with Frankie!" This last thing sounded like her old teasing self.  
"Will do, see you later." He said and smiled.  
"Well Miss, all barriers are out of the way. You may post your video. Oh wait, what about the other p.s?"  
Frankie looked relieved. "Ah, yes. Well let's do it now. Do you want to say it yourself?"  
Henry first looked hesitant, but then agreed.  
She put up the camera again and turned it on.

"Hi Will, another p.s. is added here! Your sister has given you an accurate description of all that happened. The only thing I want to add is about my sister's videos. Rather than Mary manipulating me into going after Frankie, I started it all myself, as a new 'project'. Which is awful of me. And I'm still very sorry for it. Mary did warn me and at first tried to keep me from doing it. But she later did give me some tips and help.  
The way I started out was very bad, but in the end I am glad that I got to know your sister much better and I think her the most amazing person I have ever met! I know she will disagree with this, but she really has changed me! And now I will quickly stop before she turns off the camera because I'm praising her too much! Hope to see you soon. Bye."

Frankie turned off the camera.  
"So, now you put the thing together and don't you dare to do anything about the last bit!" he smiled at her. "After all, you have said you want to be completely honest in these videos and so do I."  
"Alright then, I will! Because you're asking so nicely." She smiled.  
"Now," said Henry. "It's almost lunchtime. I don't know if you're up to it. But I will go downstairs now. Will you join me after you've posted the video?"  
She promised she would and he left.

**Chapter 5**

Halfway the afternoon Ed and Mrs Bertram came back from the hospital. Henry saw them coming and warned Frankie. Ed looked exhausted and Henry saw Frankie's worried face. She hurried towards him to give him a hug.  
"How are you Ed? And how is Tom?" She almost dragged him towards the sofa to sit him down.  
"Thanks Franks. I feel like I could sleep for a week! The plan is they're going to operate Tom later this afternoon or in the evening. He has been awake for a bit earlier today, but he is really weak.  
I'm glad we made it home safely. I asked mum if she could talk to me as much as possible so I wouldn't fall asleep behind the wheel. It was a weird feeling to be in a car, after everything that happened. Maybe it's because I'm so tired, but the drive wasn't comfortable! But we made it."  
Frankie got up. "Can I get you two a drink? Some tea perhaps?"  
Mrs Bertram accepted but Ed said:  
"Thank you, but right now all I want is to get some sleep. Hopefully, when I've recovered a bit, we'll talk about what next, if that's alright with you."  
With that he stood up and left the room. Frankie also got up to get Mrs Bertram her cuppa. But before she left she asked: "Henry, can I get you anything?"  
Henry asked for some coffee.  
When she was gone, he thought about Ed and Frankie. At first he was jealous at Ed. But then he realised that their whole interaction was more a proof of a very close friendship for years. They had been best friends for so long, the whole scene from just now had been a very natural thing. It didn't matter that Frankie also had romantic feelings for Ed. Without that, the scene would still have been the same.  
Now Henry felt jealous at them both for their friendship. He never had had a friendship like that in his life! He hoped that that would change now.  
He looked up, all of a sudden realising that Mrs Bertram was talking to him.  
"I'm really sorry, I didn't hear you." He said, a bit ashamed.  
"It doesn't matter, I could see you were miles away with your thoughts," she said. "I was just saying that I am glad that you're here to help us! Especially that you are looking after Frankie! I am very fond of her you know! And I could see that she needed someone to look after her! She has been a bit lonely since my son moved to London. But we are happy to have her around! She is such a great help! And she is always so considerate with Pug. Yes, I am very glad we took her in as we did!" Mrs Bertram nodded as if to accentuate her words.  
Henry smiled at her. "I'm happy to hear that! I know she loves this place!"

Frankie came back with their drinks. She looked bit agitated.  
"I ran into Mrs Norris and she asked me when I was thinking of getting back to work again, as she said hanging around was no good to anyone. I told her Mr Bertram has given me leave until the end of the month and I could spend that time how I wanted and where I wanted. She seemed… surprised and then walked away without another word." She burst into a nervous laugh. "Wow, I think I was as surprised as she was about what I said. But it did help." She laughed again.  
Henry laughed with her and couldn't hide how proud he was of her when he said: "Good on you! You see, sometimes you need to dare go against her and she will leave you alone! You go girl!" He smiled. Frankie looked almost shy when she answered his smile.  
"I think I'm going for a walk a bit later. Wanna join?" she asked. He gratefully accepted.

Ten minutes later they walked out of the door.  
All of a sudden he laughed.  
"What's so funny?" She asked.  
"Well, I was watching some of your videos this morning and in at least one of them you said you were trying to avoid me as much as possible. And here you are, specifically asking for my company!"  
"I guess I've changed a bit as well," she said softly. "I've noticed you are tolerable company to be around… I hope you're pleased now!" She was teasing him!

Their walk was very relaxed. Sometimes they talked, but mostly they were quietly enjoying their surroundings and each other's company. Henry learned that there needn't always be entertainment or lots of activity to keep him from being bored. This was even better! But then, he thought, he would probably enjoy anything, as long as it was together with Frankie.  
They stood for a long time on the bridge over the stream.  
"This is one of my favourite places on the grounds of Mansfield," Frankie said. "It really calms me. I always feel I de-stress here, it's so peaceful."  
"I can see that," he said softly. "Good to know as well! If ever you're too wound up, I drag you here." She laughed.  
When they walked on, she took his hand.  
Shyly she looked up at him. "Please don't think too much of it, but it feels good."  
He smiled at her. "I don't mind at all!"  
So they continued their walk hand in hand. After half an hour they were back at the patio behind the hotel. Ed was waiting for them there. He looked a bit confused.  
"How are you Ed? Did you have a good rest?" Frankie asked.  
"Yes, yes, I'm feeling a bit better I think," he sounded a bit distracted.  
"Frankie, can I have a word with you?"  
"Of course," she said. They walked off.

"Frankie, are you alright?"  
"Yes, I am. What's the matter?"  
"Well, I'm a bit worried about you. I know how you felt about Henry before, but all of a sudden you seem best of friends. I know it's none of my business, but I can't stop thinking about how he cheated on my sister and how he has treated you."  
Frankie looked at him.  
"If it was someone else saying this, I would have told them that it's indeed none of their business, but since it's you I can't leave it like this.  
I do know how I thought about him, but although slowly, I can change too you know. I'm not forgetting the whole thing with Rhea, but he told me he's really sorry about it all and I believe him.  
He's been such a great friend since yesterday and somehow kept me sane through all that's happened.  
I am being very careful, since it's not good to rush into anything, in a time with such a lot of emotional turmoil, but I'm enjoying his company and although he has said his feelings haven't changed, he promised to respect my wishes and is happy to be just friends. Satisfied?"  
Ed still looked a bit doubtful.  
"More or less. I know you will be careful. But if ever you need a talk, you know I'm there for you!"  
She smiled. "Ed, thanks for that. But you're busy enough now I guess with Mary, so don't feel obligated."  
"I would never feel obligated! You're my friend! I know I haven't been around much lately and I'm very sorry about that, but you're still my best friend and I do care for you!"  
"Well, same here, if you ever want to talk…" They hugged and then walked back to where Henry was still standing, looking out over the garden.

"Right, Bertram, what's the plan? Shall we drive over to the hospital to release your father? He must be exhausted by now!"  
"Ah yes. Go by all means, but I'm not sure if he would want to leave. Not until this next operation has been done. We have been sitting with Tom, two people at the time. But there's not much to do really. But go and see. I think I'll go there some time tonight. I do need a bit more rest still." That sounded like a plan. Henry and Frankie said goodbye to Ed and then got ready to leave.

When they arrived at the hospital it was already almost 5 o'clock. Julia was sitting with Tom and Mary and Mr Bertram were in the waiting room.  
"How's everyone? How's Tom? Any news?" Frankie asked.  
They seemed happy to see them.  
"Hey Henry, hey Frankie. Good to see you guys!" Mr Bertram said.  
"We just heard they're going to operate Tom in an hour or so. In a minute they'll come to get him prepared. Do you want to go in to see him now? I think he's awake."  
"If you think that's alright! Coming Henry?"  
Henry felt a bit uncomfortable. He always avoided as much as possible anything to do with sick people. But he followed Frankie into the room.  
They greeted Julia and were happy to see Tom awake. He still looked awful, with drips and machines all around, but his eyes had still the same, mischievous look.  
"Hi Tom, how you doing there?" Frankie smiled at him.  
"Franks, Henry. Good to see you here mate. Sorry I'm not fit to go out for a drink, so I hope you'll excuse me."  
Henry laughed. "Don't worry. I myself don't feel up to it either at the moment. So we'll have to reschedule to some later date."  
Tom smiled. "I'll hold you up to that. But, no drinking? Henry Crawford? That's news. I've got an accident as excuse, but what's yours?"  
Henry glanced at Frankie. He answered:  
"Well, can't really say. Maybe I've been reformed a bit?!"  
Tom stared at him.  
"So serious! I don't know you like that!"  
They barely noticed Julia leaving the room.  
"Well, ehm, what am I meant to say to that?"  
Frankie came to the rescue.  
"So, Tom are you having any pain at the moment or have they pumped you so full of morphine you don't feel a thing?"  
Henry was a bit relieved. This whole situation was uncomfortable. Tom was still himself, but with all those machines around it was weird. And then having him lightly talking about Henry being changed. He knew he was changed and he knew it was because of Frankie. But he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Not in a jesty way anyway.  
Tom said: "Well, I don't feel any pain indeed, but I can't seem to keep my eyes open. They said they're gonna operate me in a minute. I do hope that helps." He yawned.  
"How are you then Franks? Portsmouth sea air did you good I see!"  
She laughed. "Thank you Tom. I'm doing fine, other than the scare you gave us!"  
"Yeah, sorry about that… By the way, I haven't seen Rhea yet! Is she not here?" He looked at Henry. Frankie said: "To be honest, I have no idea where she is! I would have to ask your dad if he knows anything. Well Tom, I won't give you a hug, with all that stuff around, but we'll see you later, ok?"  
They said goodbye and left the room.  
Mr Bertram stood up. "I'll go in before they come and fetch him for the operation."

**Chapter 6**

Henry sat down, deep in thought. But he was roused by Frankie.  
"Henry, did you hear what I said? You alright?" He looked up a bit confused, and almost melted in her worried look.  
"What? Ehm, oh yeah. What did you say?"  
"Never mind now. What's bugging you?"  
He cleared his throat.  
"Well not much really. It's just the combination of everything I guess. It was just weird. Tom was still joking around, being himself, yet, all that stuff around him. He looked almost scary. I've never been comfortable with hospitals and sickness etc. It reminds me of when my mum was ill and died, you know. I was only eight at the time. I think it was the most horrible time of my life! Maybe that's why I am as I am today. I closed myself off for people. Hardened myself you know. To not let anything affect me…" His thoughts trailed away.  
Again he was roused by Frankie. She put her hand on his arm and just looked at him with compassion. That really brought him back. Never had someone looked at him like that. He had always been the strong one. Usually girls would either look at him with admiration or with hatred when he had broken their heart.  
He had to turn around and then quickly stood up. "Sorry, Frankie, I need to be alone for a moment!" He saw some confusion on her face, but made his way to the door.  
There were too many people around outside, so he just went and sat in his car. Staring into nothingness his thoughts were a whirlwind. Many memories were coming back.  
He saw his mum's face when he had come home after one of his friends had pushed him over and his knees were bleeding. She had comforted him and told him she loved him. That she would be always there for him when he was hurt.  
A week later she had been rushed into hospital and soon after that she had died.  
Henry realised now it must have been that: The promise of being there for him, but yet she had left him. He missed her because he loved her, but it was also the feeling of being abandoned. Looking back as an adult, he knew she couldn't help it of course. She didn't know what would happen to her.  
But as a child he had felt betrayed.  
He rarely thought back about that time. Somehow he had pushed it so far back, it didn't affect his thinking, yet it had influenced his behaviour. It hadn't helped that shortly after his mum had died, his dad couldn't bear staying anymore and had left the country, leaving Mary and him with uncle Grant and his wife.

Until this afternoon he had thought he was doing quite well. But somehow that short visit with Tom had triggered something in him. Not that it was Tom himself, just seeing how he was lying in that hospital bed.  
He did not know what to do with himself. He wasn't even sure what it was that he was feeling. But it wasn't right.  
He rang Frankie.  
"You busy?"  
"No! They've just taken Tom for the operation, so now it's waiting again! Where are you?"  
"I'm in my car. Don't worry! I haven't driven off! It's just… I need someone to talk to, and I don't know who else to. Would you mind coming to me?"  
"No problem. I'll be there in a minute."  
He sighed deeply and let his head rest on the steering wheel.  
A few minutes later Frankie knocked on the window. He unlocked the door and she sat next to him on the passenger seat. She had taken a cup of coffee with her, which she gave him.  
"Now, what's the matter Henry? I saw that seeing Tom like that has affected you in some way."  
"Yes! And I don't even really know how exactly. It reminded me of my mum in the hospital and how she died. I hardly ever thought of it until now, but all of a sudden all these memories are coming back! Just as an adult looking back, I'm beginning to realise now that I felt betrayed. She told me she loved me and would be there for me! But a few weeks later she was dead. I think it has left a trauma of some sort and I didn't even realise it.  
Right now I feel so confused! I don't even know what I'm feeling exactly and what I am supposed to do with it."  
He saw Frankie was listening intently to him. Then she bent over and, though a bit awkward because of the handbrake in between them, she embraced him.  
He sniffed. "Growing up at my uncle's wasn't easy. He always encouraged me to be a big boy, to be strong and to never let anything or anyone get to me…" His voice broke.  
Henry felt ashamed but couldn't help it. All the tears he wasn't allowed to cry when he was eight years old, came out.  
Frankie just held him, patting his back.

He didn't know how much time had passed, when he felt he could control himself again. He sat upright.  
"Sorry Frankie, that I let myself go."  
"Please don't be sorry, Henry. You really needed that! Besides, we're not doing a competition about who's got the most 'cool-points' anyway."  
That made him laugh. "I'm glad about that. I would have lost badly otherwise." He sipped of his coffee, which was lukewarm by now.  
"Are you feeling a bit better?" She asked.  
"I think so. I do think it helped, so thank you!"

She hesitated, but then said: "Do you remember the poem I recited to you a while back?"  
"Ah yes," he said. "The one from Yeats right? I can't remember how it went, but it was very nice! Did you want to say it again?"  
"Yes, it sort of fits in this situation. Or is that weird to say?"  
"No, by all means! I'd love to hear it again!"

After a short pause she started: "'All the words that I utter, and all the words that I write, must spread out their wings untiring, and never rest in their flight, till they come where your sad, sad heart is, and sing to you in the night, beyond where the waters are moving, Storm-darken'd or starry bright.' _[Where my books go, WB Yeats]_  
I don't know if ever a person can always speak encouraging words to another person, but it's worth a try. I know how it is to be trampled upon and how welcome it is as someone you love, says they value you and you shouldn't believe the negative things people say about you. I do believe positive words have got a great influence.  
I know this sounds really cheesy but: let my positive words fly to your sad heart and let me tell you that I think you're very brave for making yourself so vulnerable. As far as I know guys tend to find that really difficult and knowing you, this is a very big step! I also want to tell you that I'll stand next to you as your friend and am more than happy to be a sounding board if you need one."  
"Thank you, Frankie! I really appreciate that!"  
Henry felt so overwhelmed by her kindness, he didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and he wanted to kiss her! But instead he gave her a hug.  
"Frankie, there is so much I want to say, but I can't, I just can't find the right words…"  
She smiled at him. "I know! I can read them in your eyes."  
They got out of the car to go back inside. Henry inwardly screamed: this girl is the most amazing person I've ever met! But he didn't say anything.  
This time he grabbed her hand and she squeezed it. It was amazing how it felt as the most natural thing in the world. For once Henry didn't care what other people thought of it or of them. He knew the truth and that was all that mattered!

_A.N. The episode they talk about in chapter 4 is Ep. 53 Procrastination. The poem reciting was in Ep. 61 Too-rough fingers.  
I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Please leave some comments._


	3. Chapter 7-9

**Chapter 7**

They had just entered the hospital lobby, when someone called them.  
"Frankie! Henry?"  
They turned around to see Rhea walking up towards them. She seemed very surprised and so were they. But the surprise didn't last long. Rhea's face changed instantly and a flash of jealousy overshadowed it.  
"What are you two doing here? Henry, I had expected to see you in London two days ago or so!" Her face was hard.  
With a neutral voice Henry answered her. "I was in Portsmouth! And now I'm here to support your family while Tom is having his second operation!"  
Frankie seemed to shrink back. She felt Rhea's hatred towards her.  
Henry put his arm around her shoulder instinctively, to try to protect her.  
He forced himself to talk: "Let us take you up to where the rest of the family is waiting. They will be glad to see you."  
He turned around and, with his arm still around Frankie, they walked to the lift. He was inwardly surprised when he noticed that Rhea was actually following them.  
When they came upstairs, Frankie bent towards him and whispered in his ear: "You might want to go to the bathroom first. Of course I don't mind at all, but I don't know if you're ready yet to lose your cool points in front of the others." She smiled teasingly.  
Henry felt his face burn. A new sensation. He'd hardly ever felt shame before. Then he almost laughed out loud, just in time remembering where he was. But he nodded and after a reassuring squeeze in her shoulder he walked away, while Frankie showed Rhea into the waiting room.  
When he looked in the mirror, he had to admit Frankie was right. He looked horrible. He almost laughed out loud again. No wonder Rhea had looked surprised! His face darkened again. How he ever had found her amusing or attractive was beyond him now. In the few moments and the few words since she had entered, he had felt her contempt and her hatred against Frankie. If looks could kill…  
He quickly splashed some water in his face and as soon as he thought he looked presentable again, he went back to the waiting room.

The tension there was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. He quickly glanced to Frankie, who looked very upset. Mr Bertram's face was red when he looked at his eldest daughter.  
"I had hoped for a bit more consideration and care for your brother! Yet after we have not heard from you at all yesterday or today, you barge in and start to harass people. Have you not got any feeling in you to at least ask how Tom is doing?"  
Rhea interrupted him. "It's Tom's own fault! He was stupid enough to drive when drunk…" Her father was restraining his anger. "If you had paid more attention, you would have known that Tom wasn't driving! It was definitely not his fault!"  
Rhea blinked a few times. "Well, it's not my fault either! And nobody asks me how I'm doing either! The only thing you want to know is why I didn't come earlier as I should.  
Well, if you really wanna know: Rory has gone back to Brighton! Now, how was I supposed to get here without a car?"

"What?" Mr Bertram looked shocked. "What have you done? Why is he gone?"  
"See?" Rhea raged. "The first thing you think is that I must have done something wrong. But it wasn't my fault! At least not all of it! It's him!" She pointed at Henry. "If it wasn't for him, Rory would still be there and I would still have my house…" She started to cry with angry sobs. However, Mr Bertram wasn't impressed yet.  
"Stop blaming it all on Henry! We know his part in it, but at least he is sorry. All you seem to regret is having your glamorous married life and your luxury taken away!"

Rhea scorned: "Henry? Sorry? He's a good liar! Ever since Frankie started to bewitch him with her smiles and words, he has dropped me like a hot potato! She is so calculating! Ever since she found out Ed was a lost cause, she turned her interest to Henry. With all her sweet smiles…"  
Henry was so angry he could slap her. But Mr Bertram was first. "How dare you accuse Frankie of all those things! She is a far better person than you are! Maybe you should remember that you had a witness in all your escapades in London… We know what you have been up to! So stop spreading your lies!"

Frankie was so distressed that she almost ran to leave the room. Henry went immediately after her. The atmosphere was toxic in there! He trusted Mr Bertram would be able to handle it. The man knew the truth.  
Now Frankie was priority.  
He hurried after her, but she didn't notice. She went straight outside, but realised there was no place to go to be on her own. It was early evening and sunny, so many people were outside. She stood still in front of the entrance, not knowing what to do now.  
Henry gently took her elbow and guided her to the car. She got in and he drove away. Soon they were out of the city. He found a place to stop along the road. A little track ran down the fields. They got out of the car. Frankie hadn't said anything. Her face was a mask, and her hands were clutched together as fists. She hardly seemed to notice him, when she walked up the track. She walked so fast, she was almost running. Henry came alongside her.  
"Come on," He said. "Get rid of it! Run, shout, cry, whatever works! Get it out!" Somehow she chose running although she couldn't go on longer than a few hundred metres. She went back to walking and after a bit ran again. She alternated the two until they reached the end of the track. She bent over, panting and breathless.  
Henry waited next to her until she was recovered a bit.  
She looked at him for the first time since they left the room in the hospital.  
"I needed that!" she said, still a bit breathless.  
"I didn't know I could be so angry at someone! I felt I could almost strangle her. That's why I needed to leave!  
You know, I always try to see the best in people, but Rhea has made this very difficult. How could someone so plainly lie, just to cover her own wrong actions?!"  
He nodded, but then said: "I do feel so awful about it, for if it wasn't for me and my stupid actions, this wouldn't have happened! I am so sorry for causing you pain again, Frankie!" The guilt pressed heavy on him.  
She sighed. "I know, Henry!" She grabbed both his hands. "I can't promise I will forget it all, but I do forgive you!" With that she leaned towards him and kissed him. At first he was surprised, but then kissed her back. It wasn't passion or lust, but tenderness and love. It felt for both as if their pain melted away and there was place for healing to begin.  
They sat down in the grass, leaning against a gate. Henry put his arm around her and she leaned her head against his shoulder.  
"I never knew someone could experience so many emotions in a day!" she said. "Pain, despair, grief, doubt, happiness…" Then:  
"I hope Tom's operation is going well, so he will soon be able to get back home. The accident only happened yesterday, but it feels as if it has been weeks!" She was silent for a while.

The place where they were, was so peaceful. Henry felt the stress ebb away. He found the silence was quite nice! There was no need for talking. He realised he had always tried to keep himself busy, not giving himself a moment's rest. Almost as if he had been afraid to be alone with his thoughts.  
Frankie raised her head and put her finger on her mouth. She pointed forward into the fields. Two deer were standing there, still as statues for a moment, before they graciously ran away.  
"Wow!" he whispered. "Beautiful!"

They stayed until it got chilly and then walked back to the car.  
"Would you believe it? I'm actually hungry!" She laughed.  
"Any McDonald's spotted on the way here?"  
"I haven't really paid attention, but I don't think so. If you really want to go there, Google where the nearest is."  
Frankie got her phone out of her pocket.  
She looked embarrassed. "Oh no, I've missed Ed's calls, again! He's tried three times so far!"  
Henry looked at her and then with one hand got his own phone out of his pocket. He gave it to her.  
"I bet he's tried to call me as well!"  
She checked. "Yep! He must be desperate."  
Quickly she rang Ed and put the phone on speaker.  
"Hi Henry! Finally, someone's picking up the phone!"  
"Sorry, it's Frankie here. What's the matter Ed? Any news?"  
He sounded confused when he answered.  
"No, I haven't got news. I was hoping you had some! I've tried to ring everyone, but no one is picking up their phone! I'm worried to death!"  
"I think it must be the hospital! Yesterday I tried to call Will and I just couldn't get through! The reception must be awful there!"  
"Hmm, that makes sense," Ed said. "But why am I now able to ring you without problems?"  
Frankie laughed softly. "That's because we're not at the hospital at the moment." Then, worried: "Just after Tom went for his surgery, Rhea finally arrived and things exploded a bit, so we left. We're on our way back now. Hopefully things have cleared a bit now."  
"That sounds bad," Ed said.

"Listen, I'm on my way now. If you get back there before me, could you tell them I'm coming?"  
"Will do! Oh, and Ed?" "Yes?"  
"Drive safely!"  
Ed hung up and Frankie wanted to give Henry his phone back.  
"No, you hold it for now. And, ehm, find us a Drive Thru or so, will you?"  
She found one and let the phone direct them towards it.  
After they'd gotten their food, Henry parked the car in the parking lot and they tucked into their burgers.  
"I know it's unhealthy, but sometimes you just need all that grease to make you feel better again." She laughed. "It's a good thing there isn't a McDonald's near Mansfield."

Twenty minutes later they walked the hospital in, again.  
Frankie stopped. "I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I don't really want to go in there. Do you think we could wait until Ed arrives?"  
Henry smiled at her. "Well we first need to find out if he hasn't arrived already."  
He called Ed, who picked up the phone immediately, with "Who is it?"  
"It's Henry this time. Where are you?"  
"I've just parked the car and am getting out. Where are you?"  
"We'll wait for you in the lobby if that's ok with you!"  
"Ok, see you in a bit."

Frankie looked bit relieved. "So he's here already. Good!"  
Henry looked a bit confused. "Huh, how do you know? Is your hearing that good?"  
"No silly, but you had put it on speakerphone." She laughed at the face he made.  
"Calling me names now, are we?" He said, quasi-angry. She laughed even harder. "Mary was right when she said it was difficult to get you angry."  
"Did she say that? Really?"  
"Yep." She suddenly stopped. "I don't like conflicts and don't really get angry very easily either. I think I haven't been this angry in a long time; with Rhea I mean."  
"Me neither to be honest. But you've just now shown a very good way to deal with anger! By running!" He smiled at her.  
"I must have looked ridiculous," she said. "I never run! I don't even like it! But at that moment it seemed the best thing to do."  
"Well, it's a good thing that only I saw it. I promise I won't tell anyone! That is, until one day you win a marathon or so. Then I can proudly tell everyone how it all started off."  
"Haha, you've got great expectations! Don't be too optimistic Mr Crawford! Besides…"  
She was interrupted when Ed came in.  
Frankie hugged him. "Good to see you again!"  
On the way upstairs Henry told shortly what had happened when Rhea had arrived.

**Chapter 8**

When they entered the room they saw Mr Bertram sitting with his eyes closed. It looked like he was trying to sleep a bit. Mary and Julia were chatting and Rhea was nowhere to be seen.  
All of them sort of revived when seeing Ed, Frankie and Henry come in. Mary jumped up and ran towards Ed who embraced her. Julia actually smiled.  
Mr Bertram opened his eyes and looked at Henry and Frankie. "Guys, I'm glad you're back! I didn't know where you went! I would have understood if you hadn't come back. Rhea was absolutely awful to both of you! After you left, we managed to talk it all out. Both Julia and Mary told their part and Rhea realised that she was wrong. She told us about what she has been going through. But I leave that for her to tell. She went downstairs to try to call Rory."  
He continued, "Yeah, have you noticed how awful the signal is here?"  
Ed answered: "I sure noticed. I've tried to call everyone various times, but no answer! How is Tom?"  
Julia said: "Someone came in and told us that there was some delay, so they didn't start at the time they said they would. Hopefully we'll hear more soon!"  
They all sat down again until Rhea came in. She was crying. They all looked uncomfortably at her.  
"Rory is not coming back. He first said his mum needs him and he can't leave. But he can't lie, so when I asked, he told me it's because his mum won't let him go back to me. She wants him to divorce me! What do I do now?" She sobbed in despair. Her dad walked towards her and embraced her. "We're here for you! Together we'll sort it out" Ed also walked towards her to give her a hug. "Hi Rhea, good to see you here!"

The same doctor as the day before walked in. "I can tell you that the operation on Tom Bertram went well and that he's in the recovery room. Someone will let you know when you can go and see him!"  
They were all relieved to hear that!  
Mr Bertram and Julia decided to get drinks for all of them, so they set off.  
Rhea came hesitatingly towards Frankie and Henry.  
She looked down.  
"I'm… I'm sorry about how awful I was earlier on. Especially to you, Frankie. I knew it wasn't true what I was saying, but at that moment I felt so jealous that all I wanted to do was hurt you. I feel really bad! Ever since you came to live with us, I treated you as an inferior. And Henry, when you came along and I saw how Julia liked you, I was jealous. Although I was engaged to Rory I still wanted all the attention. And you gave me that. I was proud that I had it all: I was marrying this rich guy, who almost worshipped me and next to that I got attention from a clever, handsome guy, who made me feel adventurous. Life in London soon was boring, although I loved decorating my new house and giving parties. I wanted other people to envy me. I had it all! And you still came along. It was almost like a game, an adventure; to have some fun and trying to hide it from anyone else. I knew Julia knew, but I demanded her secrecy.  
Until you started to go after Frankie. I could see you didn't care anymore about me at all. And I got jealous again. Since I hardly saw you anymore, there wasn't anything I could do about it. Then somehow Rory had found out about us! He was so upset that he left for Brighton straight away. And told his mother everything. That woman never really liked me and now she had even more reason to. She told him to stay there and said she would help in getting a divorce. He just told me that after I finally got to speak to him after days of not hearing anything.  
I was blaming it on you guys, but I do realise now that it was all my own doing. I had it all and now I have nothing!"  
She started crying again, but she didn't want to be comforted. When Frankie put her hand on Rhea's arm, "No, leave me. I deserve it! I am so, so sorry."

Henry cleared his throat. "And I am sorry for my big part in it! People had warned me you know. But I enjoyed trying to see how far I could go, without being detected etc. I don't know if this sounds too harsh, but I feel I have to tell you, I've never loved you or anything! For me it was a bit of fun, a boost for my ego, that I even could get married women to fall for me. I am very sorry!"

Rhea looked up. "You really mean it!" she said, surprised. "You certainly have changed!" She continued: "Back downstairs I was surprised to see you, Henry. After not hearing anything from you for so long. And there you were, with Frankie of all people! I could see your love for each other and that was just another stab, a reminder of what I lost. I'm sorry! You guys deserve each other. I will stay out of the way! I wish you all the luck in the world!" With that she got up and went to sit on the other side of the room.  
Frankie sighed. "Phew, I don't really know what to say about all that!" she said softly.  
"Well," said Henry, "she certainly was sorry. I do pity her I think. And Rory! He was so in love with her! Poor Rory! I hope they'll manage to sort it out."  
"Yes, me too," said Frankie.

Julia and her father came back with drinks. When they all sat down, Mr Bertram said: "Now we need to see who is going to stay here during the night! Again it's no use for us all to stay! I myself would like to stay but I haven't really slept since yesterday. So I think it's wise for me to go home. Ed, how are you feeling? Do you think you could stay another night? It's just that I don't want to leave the girls alone if any of them want to stay. Henry, I can't really ask you to stay, although if you really want to, you're more than welcome to!  
Ed interrupted: "No need for Henry to stay! I will stay during the night! And maybe Henry can drive some people back here tomorrow morning if you, dad, still need some more rest!"  
Henry said: "Yeah, that might be better Ed. I mean, I don't mind staying if you want me to, but I'm of no use here anyway. I can be a taxi tonight and tomorrow morning!"  
Mr Bertram looked pleased. "So, it's settled that Ed stays here. Who of you girls want to stay with him?"  
"I can stay, if you allow me!" Said Rhea. "I haven't done much yet, so I can make myself useful!"  
"Are you sure?" Her father asked. She nodded.  
Mary and Julia wanted to go home. Frankie was not sure what she wanted, but then thought it might be better to have a good rest.

**Chapter 9**

Ten minutes later they walked to the cars. Mr Bertram looked at Henry with a grin on his face. "If I understood well, you've only got place for one passenger? You choose which of the ladies you want to accompany you and I'll have the other two. Unless you want to drive alone?"  
Frankie looked a bit uncomfortable about his teasing. She looked up to Henry. Maybe he wanted a drive with his sister? They hadn't had much time to chat today.  
Henry was tired and chose to ignore the teasing. It just felt weird. After all, Mr Bertram was a business associate.  
"Thank you," he said stiffly. "If Frankie wants, she can come with me. See you at Mansfield!"  
They walked to his car and got in.  
"I don't always understand him!" He said. "At times he's all professional and business-y and then all of a sudden a bit overly familiar, big friends-y or so."  
"I know," Frankie said. "He's not a bad guy. At first I was a bit scared of him. The big boss and all. But I know he does care about me. But sometimes it's just a bit awkward."

After a bit of silence, she laughed. "I just realised how lucky I am! I remember the envy between Jules and Rhea when we went to Brighton, about who got to go with you in the car, on the 'seat of honour' or so! Ed and Mary and I made jokes about it. And now I'm already on it for the third time today! How honoured I feel!" He laughed with her.  
"So you should! It is definitely an honour! Mrs Norris would now say to you: 'Now, Frances, tell Mr Crawford how grateful you are! It is a big favour he's doing to you. Remember he's doing it really as a favour to Mr and Mrs Bertram!'"  
He perfectly imitated her voice and expressions.  
Frankie laughed even harder.  
"Ah, you have overheard those sort of conversations then. She is so good in letting me know that it's never because of me being such a lovely person and that I should know my place, etc.…  
But I'm really glad she's not here! She wouldn't be able to cope and would get green with envy if she saw us!"  
Henry teased her: "Tell me, why would Mrs Norris be envious of _us_?" He put the emphasis on 'us'."  
But Frankie saw through it. "How you would like to know that, don't you?! Well, I think old Norris is secretly in love with you. Or she is afraid her best employee will soon be 'swept away by her lover'." Even though she said it with a laugh, she couldn't help colouring.  
"And would you like to be swept away by your lover?" His voice was only half teasing.  
She answered seriously. "If ever, I'd like to have a say in it. Somehow it sounds a bit passive. Like a fainting princess, picked up by her prince on the white horse, who, if you ask me, is essentially kidnapping her, at which they drive into the horizon and somehow manage to live happily ever after."  
"Well, if you put it that way…" he laughed.

She changed the subject.  
"Do you want to tell me about your mum? If you're not ready for it, don't worry." Her voice sounded so kind.  
He tried.  
"I've forgotten so much. It's been 18 years since she died.  
I think mum was amazing! I adored her. She was always kind and instead of getting angry at me if I did something wrong, she would take me on her lap, first tell me how much she loved me and then explain to me that what I did was not good. My dad had a bit more of a temper, but he respected mum and her way of handling it. I believe we were a happy little family! This afternoon something that happened came to mind: I had been playing with one of my friends in our garden. All of a sudden my friend pushed me over and I fell badly. With bleeding knees, I went inside, crying. My mum put me on a chair to clean my knees. She told me she loved me and that she always would be there for me if I was hurt." His voice faltered. He was quiet for a bit, looking at the road ahead.  
Frankie put her hand on his arm.  
He continued, "A week after that, she was taken ill to the hospital, where she died a few weeks later. I only saw her a few times. My dad didn't want to expose us to the whole atmosphere in the hospital. Besides, she was so ill that she was hardly recognisable. We saw her on the day before she died. I was almost afraid of her. She looked so different. She could hardly speak, but whispered how much she loved me and that I must be a good boy. That was the last time I saw her."  
While talking, all the memories came back; he saw it happening before him.  
"Sorry Frankie, I think I need to stop. Can you see a safe place to stop?"  
They looked. Luckily there was a petrol station ahead where he pulled in and parked the car.

"I'm sorry Henry, that I asked." She said.  
"It's ok. I didn't know that it would make me so emotional!"  
He rested his head on the steering wheel and sighed deeply. He felt so heavy, he couldn't move. He wasn't crying, but the pain was so deep, he could almost feel it physically.  
Frankie's hand was on his back. She didn't say anything.  
After a while Henry managed to sit up again.  
"Frankie," he whispered. "I didn't know such pain existed! It literally hurts! I don't know what to do."  
Again she embraced him and again it was as if a dam broke through.  
For a while he couldn't think. Then he noticed that the pain slowly subsided. It was still very raw, but he started to notice his surroundings again. Frankie was holding him tightly and stroking him as if he were a child. Reluctantly he let her go and then noticed she was crying too.  
Startled he asked: "What's the matter? Why are you crying?"  
"Henry, I care about you! It does hurt me to see you're in pain! How are you now?"  
She looked earnestly at him.  
"I don't know. Better I think. I never knew how crying could be good for you! But it somehow eased the pain a bit. I'm glad you're with me! I don't know what I'd done without you!" He sighed.  
Frankie asked: "Do you think you can drive again? Or do you want to wait a bit longer?"  
He hesitated a bit. "Maybe five more minutes or so. I don't want us to get an accident as well!"  
They chatted a bit. Henry was glad of it. Some light talk about nothing helped distract him and get himself together again!

Five minutes later he was indeed able to drive on and soon they arrived back at Mansfield Park.  
All was quiet and dark, so they did their best to not make any noise when they made their way through the big house to their rooms.  
"Goodnight Frankie, thanks for being with me today!"  
He embraced her briefly.  
"Thank you as well, Henry! Sleep well!"

Henry had a bit of a headache. It must have to do with all those extreme emotions! He hadn't known before that he was even capable of having them! But maybe it was good to deal with them! He knew he was changed, but also that he wasn't there yet! If this was what it took, then he must deal with it!  
After taking a paracetamol, he tried to sleep and soon he succeeded.


	4. Chapter 10-12

**Chapter 10**

In the middle of the night Frankie woke up. She didn't know what had woken her up, but she lay still for a while, thinking about the day that had passed. A lot had happened and a lot was said! She did hope that the next few days would be a bit calmer.  
She got out of bed to go to the bathroom. But when she walked back to her room, she heard a loud noise, a scream or so! It came from Henry's room! She wondered what was the matter. Did he need anything? Was he hurt? She hesitated, but then decided to knock on his door.  
"Who's there?" came the reply.  
"It's Frankie! Are you alright?"  
"Yeah, no, not really actually."  
"Can I come in?" she whispered.  
"Fine, the door is open."  
Henry was sitting straight up in bed. He looked agitated.  
"I was passing your door and I heard you scream. Are you alright?" Frankie looked a bit concerned.  
"Sorry. It's just, I had such an awful nightmare that it woke me up!"  
She could see it had really shaken him.  
Then he looked a bit ashamed of himself.  
"Sorry Frankie, I'm not usually a person who would whinge about something as trivial as a nightmare. But it was just so frightening."  
Frankie looked at him, a bit concerned.  
"Don't apologise! If it has scared you so much it's definitely not something trivial! What were you dreaming then?"  
He closed his eyes for a moment. "I was again next to my mum's hospital bed. She said her last words and died in front of me, but when I looked again, it was you who was dying! And it looked so awful, you know, like you see in horror movies. In a way I'm glad that you did hear me! Because it was so frightening but realistic that when I woke up I almost imagined you really being dead!"  
"That doesn't sound nice! Have you had dreams like that before? About your mum I mean?"  
"No, I don't think so. Wait, maybe! I guess just after she died I had them for some months."  
He fell silent again. His face turned dark. "I remember now. I would be all alone in my room in my uncle's house. No one ever heard me scream! They had given me this lovely attic room but it was in the top of the house far from everyone else. The first night I got out of bed and went to their room because I was so frightened, but I was told that I was a big boy and big boys didn't cry. So I tried not to. But the nightmares kept coming back for months. Somehow they did stop however after a while. I don't know why."  
He was quiet for a moment, but in his mind was a whirlwind of pictures of situations, of things that happened, of how he felt. And above all he heard his uncle say, over and over again: 'Big boys don't cry!'

He startled when Frankie started to talk again.  
"You know, I've had those sort of dreams for a while, when Will just joined the navy! In my dreams I would see him drown or he would get shot and I couldn't do anything about it! It was awful.  
Luckily I haven't had those dreams for years now, although I still worry about him of course."  
She looked at him. "Do you find it helps? To talk about it? Do you think you could sleep again?"  
He sighed. "I don't know really. Maybe I need to go and drink a bit of water first."  
"You know, my mum always used to give me warm milk when I had had a nightmare."  
Henry pulled a face. "Really? It sounds horrible! Did it help?"  
Frankie laughed a bit. "Oh yes, it does help to get you back to sleep!"  
"Hmm, maybe I should try then."  
Frankie walked towards the door. "Come, let's go to the kitchen. I'll make us a hot drink!"  
When she walked out, he quickly put on a shirt and then followed her through the dark corridors.  
Ten minutes later they were sitting at the table in the kitchen, sipping from their warm milk.  
"Not as bad as I thought," Henry said. "It's getting used to it, but then it's quite nice."  
They told each other about weird and funny dreams they'd had in the past.  
Frankie told about a time that she actually fell out of bed because she was dreaming. It was so funny that Henry had to laugh out loud.  
"Shh," she whispered. "You'll wake Norris! You don't want her to spy on us!"  
Henry quickly shut his mouth, but too late!  
The door opened and an angry Mrs Norris asked 'What they thought they were doing, waking all the guests!'  
Henry turned to her: "I am very sorry madam. It's just that we couldn't sleep and got ourselves a drink. I do apologise if we were too loud. It won't happen again. Good night madam."  
Mrs Norris didn't know other than to say 'Good night' back and to leave again.  
Frankie kept her hand in front of her mouth to not laugh out loud.  
"I think she was quite intimidated by you!"  
"So she should," said Henry with a mischievous face. "After all, I'm Architect man! Very intimidating!"  
Frankie almost choked, to keep her laugh in.  
"Please stop it Henry! Or she'll be back!"  
"Sorry Franko, I'll try to behave." He looked only a little bit apologetic.  
"Are you finished with your milk? Let's wash up and leave this space spotless." Henry washed up and Frankie dried their mugs.  
Before they left the kitchen, Henry said in a serious tone: "Thank you once more! You definitely made me feel much better again! I think I am able to sleep now!"  
They walked back.  
She put her hand on his arm. "Sleep well, Henry!"  
"I'll try! You too!"  
Once more all was quiet again and they slept without any more distractions.

Next morning, they met each other in the breakfast room. Despite a broken night, Henry had still managed to do his morning run and was quite hungry when he came back.  
Frankie greeted him with: "Morning Henry. No more nightmares I hope?"  
"Luckily not! That hot milk worked miracles!"  
He laughed. "But now I need coffee! What are you having?"  
"Just cereal today I think."  
"Right, now if you get our drinks, I'll get the rest."  
It was fairly busy, but they found a table and soon sat down to eat.  
"So where did you run this morning?" Frankie asked.  
Henry tried to explain, but it wasn't very clear.  
"I don't know what the plans are for today, but if we've got time today, I'll show you the route. It wasn't really long anyway. But it was so nice! I think I even saw some squirrels!"  
"Sounds like a plan," was Frankie's enthusiastic reply.

Mary came in.  
Henry quickly whispered: "Please don't tell her anything about last night!"  
Frankie whispered back: "Why do you think I would talk about that? Don't worry!"  
"Hello you two!" They heard Mary say. "What are you whispering about?"  
Henry said, with a twinkling in his eyes, "We were just saying that Norris had had a confrontation with Architect man and she didn't really like it. Look, there she is. Have you ever seen such a grumpy face?"  
Frankie laughed out loud at Mary's confused face. She couldn't see what was so funny.  
"Hmm, you two are a bit too cheerful for the early morning. I'm not sure if I can cope with that yet!"  
She went to get her breakfast.  
Henry and Frankie looked at each other and burst into laughter again. But when they saw some people look in their direction, Frankie said. "Maybe we should try to behave. 'This will not do for a representative of the hotel!'" she mimicked Mrs Norris.  
Henry laughed, but then stopped abruptly when Julia came in. She walked straight towards them.  
"Hello! I was wondering what your plans were today! My parents are going to the hospital in an hour or so. I'm going too. But who else wants to come?"  
Henry looked at Frankie. "Do you want to go? I think, if I'm not needed as a taxi, I'd rather stay here. I hope that is ok."  
Frankie nodded. "Tell your dad that I'm in!" she said to Julia. Mary preferred to stay at Mansfield.  
Julia left to tell her parents and Frankie asked Henry: "So what are you going to do then today?"  
He smiled. "Well, I'm definitely going to miss you when you're gone!" he winked. "Do you realise we hardly have been apart the last few days?!" Frankie had to admit that with a slight blush.  
"Other than that, I need to look into the plans for the Everingham! I haven't been there for a week or so now. And, although I've asked a few extra days off, my uncle does expect me to keep on top of it, so the project won't be delayed. So, when you come back, you'll find me buried in a pile of documents and blueprints." She laughed. "Which freely translated means that you'll be in your element."  
"That sounds about right!" He answered her with a smile.  
Frankie stood up. "Well, let me get ready to go. I might take my camera, so if I have a bit of spare time, I could make a video for Will."  
She waved goodbye to both of the Crawfords and left the room.

Henry followed her with his eyes until she was gone.  
Mary saw this and said: "So brother, how's things going between you and Frankie?"  
He turned to her. "Huh? What?"  
"Well, you know," she sounded a bit impatient. "You've been nigh inseparable the last few days!"  
"So what? We're friends! And that's all for the foreseeable future. At the moment I'm happy with that! I'm getting to know her much better and I like it!"  
Mary looked as if she didn't believe him.  
"Don't look at me like that! It's true!"  
"Keep telling yourself that." She still sounded doubtful.  
Henry sighed. She couldn't know about all the precious time he had spent with Frankie and he wasn't going to explain it to her.  
He realised that he really preferred it this way, the growing friendship! It was so nice to get to know each other without being romantically involved as well. Thinking about all the bad examples he had seen and all his own mishaps, he realised how valuable it was to get to know someone properly on all the other levels and become connected in that way, before you would ever move on to physical stuff. He still hoped Frankie would one day start to love him as he loved her, but he tried to push that thought as far away as possible in his mind. He didn't want it to ruin what they had just built up. For now, he was happy and he couldn't wait to spend more time with her, discovering what real friendship meant!

Mary saw that Henry wasn't really fit for talk at the moment, so she stood up and, with a wave, was gone as well.  
Henry got another cup of coffee and just sat there, sipping from his drink and his thoughts miles away.  
He thought about the day before. He felt a bit ashamed that he had been crying, not just once, but twice. He felt a bit weird that someone had seen him at such a weak moment. But then, Frankie was not 'just someone'. She hadn't mind it; she had been so supportive! He had felt so awful those moments and he was glad that it was her that had witnessed it; not someone else. He instinctively knew he could trust her.  
As she had trusted him, when she needed someone to cry with. He was still amazed that she had trusted him to hold her, to stand with her, when she was at her lowest. Yet, even in those moments she was so strong! He really felt admiration for her! With everything going on, not just the past few days, but more the last few months. He could see she had grown. When he had first met her, back in January, he had found her a dull, uninteresting person. Later he had seen, from the side line, how people used her sometimes. Looking back, he realised how awful Tom, for example, had treated her during the whole film project. Trying to convince her to participate when she absolutely didn't want to. He remembered how he himself had found it amusing to see how frustrated she was and the moment that Tom had stormed off. Thinking back, it must have been awful for her, but she had really stood up for herself!

Henry stood up. If he remembered well, there was a video about that confrontation. He wanted to see it, so he walked to his room to get his laptop. Then he went out to look for a space where he wouldn't be disturbed. He sat on the patio and opened his laptop and soon found the video he had been thinking of. It was painful to watch. Especially the way how he walked off with Rhea, not caring at all about what anyone might think. He also saw how Ed sort of saved the day for Frankie. Her reaction to his forehead kiss was sweet to watch.  
Henry knew how Ed had been neglecting Frankie the last few months, but here he could see why Frankie thought so highly of him. Ed really did care about her! Maybe lately he has just been forgetting about that fact. Where he had been a bit jealous before, Henry was now really glad that Frankie had had Ed in her life. Her life at Mansfield would have been so much worse without him!  
Henry still hoped that Frankie would leave Mansfield and go and work somewhere else. He was careful not to talk about it to her though. She had been so clear that she wanted to do it on her own terms and in her own pace.  
Now he knew her a bit better, he thought she would definitely not like living in London, or work at Crawford Designs for that matter.  
He enjoyed the atmosphere there, but it was really result focused and everyone strove to get higher up. And although Frankie didn't want to be an assistant house manager forever, she wasn't focused on career and making more money. Maybe partly because she never had the chance, but maybe she also knew how to be content with what she had.  
Maybe that wasn't a bad thing! He had always thought that living like that would be boring. He needed the excitement and the variety. But how often had that led to difficult situations and problems. He might try to take a page from Frankie's book and not always try to strive for more money and higher positions etc.

Mary walked past. "What are you staring into nothingness?"  
"Huh? What?"  
"Henry, you're miles away! A lot to think about?" She came towards him.  
"Hmm, yes. There seems to be rather a lot to think about these last few days!"  
With an unusual thoughtfulness in her tone, she answered: "I agree! The amount I have been thinking has been rather high! You know, I somehow find myself thinking of mum a lot, all of a sudden! It must have been the news of the accident, the fear someone I care for was dying. It reminded me of when mum was in hospital. Do you remember that?"  
"Yes I do! I have to say I hardly ever thought of her. But I think, something was triggered, when I saw Tom in that hospital bed yesterday! It really messed me up a bit! All sorts of memories are coming back, you know. Don't know really what to do about it! You?"  
"Me too, as if a box is opened. All of a sudden I remember moments with mum. Like how we baked biscuits together or how she brushed my hair in the morning."  
"The biscuits which I nicked then!" He laughed suddenly. "How angry you were! You were so little but you were jumping up and down and tried to get them out of my mouth or so. But I had long swallowed them."  
Mary laughed at the memory.  
"Yes and then mum said to you that you couldn't have pudding for tea anymore. And she promised to bake new biscuits for me."  
Henry said: "It's weird, I've never thought back about all that, and now I can see it vividly in my mind!  
But was there anything you needed me for?"

Mary seemed to come back to the present.  
"Huh? No, I was just passing. To find a nice spot to read my book. It is nice to be back here without having to work! So I'm making the most of the time here!"  
With a wave, she walked off and Henry let his mind wander again. Nice to have the time for that, without having too many people around!  
He had forgotten he was going to do some work.  
Instead he brought his laptop back inside and walked into the garden. He wanted to go to the little bridge where he had been with Frankie the day before. She had said the place always made her feel calm. He might find the same.  
Soon he sat down on the middle of the bridge and let his feet dangle from the side. He breathed deeply. It was peaceful indeed!

Suddenly in a flash he saw himself sitting next to his dad, on a fishing trip. He was excited that he had caught his first fish!  
The memory faded again.  
How weird was that! This whole morning, he had these little moments! Flashes from the past! At first he hadn't noticed them. But now he began to feel a bit uncomfortable. Not that the memories themselves were unpleasant. It was just weird.  
He tried to focus his thoughts on Frankie. He wondered if she would find time to make a video today. And what she would talk about. No doubt about how Tom was doing. He didn't know how Tom was doing. He hadn't heard any news yet today. Maybe that was a good sign.  
He decided to send Frankie a text to ask about Tom.

Her reply came quickly. Tom was doing well. The doctors were satisfied about the progress he made and might send him home soon.  
And Frankie was just making a video.

**Chapter 11**

Henry's thoughts went back to the memory of the fishing trip and then to his dad. He hadn't had any contact in years. As far as he knew, his father still lived in Spain with his second wife and a few children. In all those years he'd only visited them twice maybe. His half siblings must be in their teens now. He had fond memories of his dad. Although he was often away for work, when he was home, he would really be there for them!

It had been strange to see him change practically overnight when his wife got ill and died. Henry felt he had lost his mum and dad on the same day! His father had been devastated and not been able to cope with the loss. After the funeral he had brought his children to his brother Grant, and had left for the continent. To Henry now it looked like a flight. He wondered how his dad was doing now! Maybe he should contact him soon! He didn't know if Mary had had any contact recently.

Thinking about his dad made Henry realise how similar he was to him. All the times he fled for difficult situations, when he didn't know how to cope with them or simply didn't want to. Only two days ago that had been his plan. To flee from another painful situation. But the decision not to flee had almost been made for him. And, although the situation was still difficult, he was glad that he hadn't fled for it this time.

He stood up, a bit stiff from the hard surface. Slowly he walked back to the house. The flowerbeds were now withering, with autumn around the corner. Henry remembered the failed tour through the garden he and Frankie had done for Will. That had been a fun moment.  
He saw a few late roses still in bloom.  
Henry wasn't into flowers at all. He like the big landscape of gardens and enjoyed to design a garden every now and then in a project, but he was more into buildings.

Another memory started to come: he was in the garden with mum. She was weeding the flowerbeds and Henry was trying to help. Patiently mum was explaining which were the weeds that needed to be pulled out and which were the flowers that needed to stay. She showed him her favourite flower, the rose. He was a bit surprised; he had just pricked himself on one of the thorns. But then she showed him how beautiful the flower itself was and how sweet the scent was. She said maybe the thorns were there as protection, so people would be careful around the roses. And they would be able to enjoy them longer.  
She had always encouraged him to be curious, had given him a nature discovering set with a magnifying glass for his birthday. For hours he would go into the garden, looking at everything from close by. He would take in leaves or flowers or insects to show his mum and she had told him how God had created all of that long ago, just as He had made Henry.  
This roused Henry. He remembered his mum always talking about God and how He loved him. His father didn't really like that, but let her do it anyway.  
He remembered how angry he was at God when his mum had died, why could He not have made her healthy again?  
Together with everything else this also had been pushed far back into his memory, never wanting to think of it again. Long since he had ceased to believe in the existence of any god. He just didn't want to think about the possibility of someone who said He loved him, but took pleasure in taking away the person he had loved most in the world.

With some effort he pushed it away from his mind. He got into the house, got his laptop out again and started to work. For an hour he managed to concentrate on drawing more plans for the Everingham. He liked this project! There was a lot of room for his own ideas and the space had much potential.  
Henry had just sent off some new plans for the coming week to work from, when he got a message that Frankie had uploaded a new video.  
Curious, he opened it straight away to watch.

'"Hello Will. This time a video from the hospital. Things are looking up here! Tom is making progress and the doctors expect to be able to discharge him soon. So that's good news for everyone here! Ed has been staying through the night for two days now. He probably can do with a good night's sleep. Rhea finally arrived yesterday evening. She has been staying through the night as well. I don't know how much I am able to tell, but she's definitely going through some difficult times! I only hope she'll manage to get through it alright! I really feel for her, you know! And for Rory!

I myself am doing quite well, given the fact I've had two 'normal' nights of sleep in my own bed. But so far these days have been emotionally tough, not just with worries about Tom, but a lot of other things going on. I can't share much about it at the moment, but suffice to say everyone here has had their share and processes of forgiveness and restoration of relationships have only just begun.  
Time will tell how…  
Oh, hi Ed?"  
"Hey Franks, do you have some time? I wanted to speak with you."  
She looked hesitant. "Sure! The camera is on. Do you want it off?"  
"Oh, ehh, the camera… no I guess it's ok. It's about that actually."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Your videos… It's just… Henry mentioned them the other day… I had totally forgotten about it, what with Tom and all. But this past night I couldn't sleep and remembered and I found them."'

Henry could see how Frankie's face darkened when hearing this news!

'"Not you as well! Argh, this is so embarrassing!" She put her hands on her face.  
"Did you know they were public? I thought only Will could see them?"

"Well, I thought so too, until a week ago or so. Suzy told me they were actually public. I was so embarrassed I wanted to delete them all straight away and never touch the bl*dy thing again. But Will and Suzy both encouraged me to continue making them. After all, I have grown through the time and the videos have helped me to open up more."  
She looked down. "So you have seen them as well then."  
"Yep! Not all of them of course, but quite a few. I thought I knew you! I mean, I was in a lot of them myself and have seen you talk etc. But, now I realise I hardly knew you at all! Especially the last few months! I am sorry I wasn't there for you! You must have had a horrible time!  
But, is it true? Did you have feelings for me?"  
She quietly nodded. She wasn't able to look at him.  
"I'm so sorry. I think I was totally oblivious to it! I would never have come to you to ask your advice about Mary etc. if I had known! That must have been very difficult for you!"

Ed wanted to embrace her but she leaned away.  
"Franks! Are you ok?"  
"I was. Sort of. Until now!"  
Ed looked confused.  
"What do you mean?"  
She looked very frustrated.  
"This: Yes, I love you. Yes, I've been having a bl*dy awful time. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was trying to take distance. You said you love Mary and if you're happy with her, then I want to be ok with that. No matter that it hurts me now. I will get over it eventually! I want to see you happy and if that's with Mary, well then that's it.  
I can't do anything about the fact that you've discovered my videos, and that you've discovered about my feelings. What am I supposed to do with it? What difference does it make? The only thing is your apologies, for which I must be grateful?"  
Ed looked very uneasy.  
"But why have you never said anything about it?"  
Her head shot up.  
"Really? Do you think I would have done that? I thought you knew me. I could never have done that! I can't blame you for being totally oblivious. But Tom, and even Rhea apparently knew about it! Not that I told them, but they have been making remarks. No doubt Mary knows about it.  
Still, it doesn't change anything."  
She turned away from Ed.  
"Now if you'll excuse me. I have to finish this video!"  
"But Frankie, let's talk this out. We can't leave it like this!"  
"No? As I said, there is nothing 'to talk out'. The facts are there and nothing changes. Now, could I please ask you to leave me alone?! If I want to talk about it, I'll come to you. But not now. Please, Ed!"  
He stood up and walked away.  
"Sorry, Will, for the drama once more. I'll talk to you later! I have to think! Bye!"'

The screen was black.  
Poor Frankie!

Henry hesitated. Should he contact her? To see how she was? It seemed she had hardly done any editing so it probably only just happened.  
He decided to send her a text.  
'Hi Frankie, just saw your video! I feel for you! Is there anything I can do?'  
She rang him back straight away. He could hear she was outside. Maybe had gone out for a walk?  
"Henry! Are you willing to drive here? I feel I have to leave here! This is so absolutely awkward; I just can't see Ed right now! Would you be willing to pick me up, please?"  
"Of course! I'm coming right now! See you in an hour! Take care."  
Henry quickly brought his laptop back inside and walked to his car. Luckily it wasn't too busy on the road, so he managed to get there in just about fifty minutes.

He rang Frankie. "Where are you? I've just arrived."  
"Wow, that was quick!" was her reply. "I'm in the lobby at the moment."  
They met just outside the doors. Frankie looked wiped out. "I'm glad you're here. I really want to leave!"  
"Have you told anyone you're leaving?" he asked.  
"Ah, no, not really. Maybe I should. I haven't been inside since I uploaded the video. My camera is still upstairs as well."  
"Shall I go? Here's the keys for the car. You could wait there if you want!" He pointed to where the car was parked.

Then he went upstairs, to the same waiting room they had been in all that time. When he entered, he saw Ed pacing up and down with a very frustrated look. When he saw Henry, he stopped pacing.  
"Henry? I didn't know you were here as well. Do you know where Frankie is? She hasn't been here for more than an hour and doesn't answer her phone."  
Henry said: "I've only just arrived. Frankie asked me to pick her up. I saw the video as soon as it was uploaded, so I know what happened."  
Ed looked a bit embarrassed.  
"Do you know where Frankie's camera bag is? I came to pick that up." Ed looked around and then saw it on a chair. Before Henry was leaving, Ed said:  
"But why is she leaving? I don't understand!"  
Henry answered: "I can't speak for her. All I know is that she just can't see you right now. She needs time to think. I hope you understand."  
A flash of jealousy went over Ed's face.  
"And of course you'll help her with that? You're best friends now, aren't you?" His tone was bitter.  
Henry wanted to give a sharp answer back.  
But instead he said:  
"All I know is that Frankie asked me to pick her up. I will stand next to her if she needs a friend. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go. See you!"  
He turned around and walked out.

**Chapter 12**

"So, you haven't driven off yet?" He greeted Frankie with a smile.  
"No, I couldn't, even if I wanted to." Was her serious answer.  
"Why ever not? Don't tell me you haven't got a driving license?"  
"Indeed I have not. And I wouldn't want to ruin your car by trying to drive it." This time she laughed.  
Henry was surprised. "And may I ask why?"  
"You may. I've never really had the time, or the money to be honest. So far I've managed without."  
"Well, if you want to, we can change that. I could teach you!"  
She looked a bit doubtful. "Really? Would you do that?"  
"Of course! Now, let's first get away here."

Frankie's phone rang. "Will! ... "You've seen it? ... "I've been better! I absolutely don't know what to do with this. I mean, he can't help all this either, can he? ... "Unless he'd all of a sudden realised he has feelings for me too. But I'm not even going to think about that. That still wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't be able to just accept him out of the blue, like nothing has happened." …  
She glanced at him.  
"Exactly! I don't know yet where that is going. But I'm enjoying it! … "No, not now. I think I need to call you back later. … "In the car. … "I don't know. For now, I guess back to Mansfield? Although painful but it is my home after all. … "Yes, I will keep you updated! Thank you for calling! … "Love you too!"

She put down the phone.  
"That was Will. He's seen it."  
"I thought as much," he said. "Did he give you any advice?"  
"No, not really. Except that it might be good indeed to keep some distance from Ed at the moment. This is so awkward!"  
"Yes, I can imagine!" He really felt for her!  
She turned to him with a bit of an embarrassed look. "What about you then? It must be worse for you? Are you not jealous or so? I mean, what if Ed started to… see me differently? Or am I assuming too much?" She blushed.  
He answered carefully: "Well, to be honest, except for the first time when I definitely did not expect to be turned down, I have not dared to hope too much. Especially after I realised where your heart really was. Would I be jealous? I don't know. I think I might feel the same as you in the whole Ed and Mary situation. I want you to be happy! It will hurt, but I will get over it eventually." He sighed involuntarily.  
She nodded.  
"Meanwhile, I still don't know what to do with all this. Do I dare to hope he will change his mind? Do I even want him to? I don't know! And what about Mary? What if she finds out he knows?  
The thing is, I cannot blame any of this to Ed. It's not his fault, it's not my fault, it's nobody's fault. Which makes it pretty difficult to deal with. If I could be angry with someone, that would almost be a relieve. But I can't, so I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe I need to try to let it die down. Just avoiding to see Ed for a while…"

"Speaking of which… Where do you want to go now?"  
She sighed.  
"I guess to Mansfield. I don't really want to go back to Portsmouth at the moment. Besides, if I'm still going to the Antigua, then that will be soon. Maybe in two weeks' time or so."  
"The Antigua?"  
"Ah yes. Did you not know yet? Mr Bertram has offered me the job at the Antigua. I will be head of the household team!"  
Henry was surprised. "Well, that's good news, I think. Are you looking forward to it?"  
"I guess I am. It will surely be something different. I just hope I won't turn into a Mrs Norris." She pulled a disgusted face and then laughed.  
He chuckled. "That would make a change!" Then serious: "But I'm sure you'll be great! Have you seen it yet?"  
"The hotel? No! I haven't had the time yet. I can't remember, but did you guys start the renovation yet?"  
Henry had to think.  
"I guess so. I haven't really been much involved in that recently. I was too busy with the Everingham. But I don't know if you're interested in that."  
"Why do you think that?" She really seemed surprised.  
He cleared his throat.

"Well, last time I started to talk about it you didn't seem to be interested at all." He kept his eyes on the road. "You know, back in Portsmouth."  
Her eyes shot in his direction.  
"Sorry. That afternoon was so awkward. I felt so uncomfortable and you were talking about it as if to impress me, to show off. I guess that's why I seemed not interested."  
He nodded. "That explains it. It was so weird. You seemed to rather want to be somewhere else than standing there with me. Why did you film that meeting by the way? It almost felt like Will was spying or checking that I was behaving myself."  
She sighed. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe it was sort of a comfort blanket if you see what I mean. I just wasn't sure what to think of it all. I hope you'll forgive me for that weird afternoon."  
"Frankie, there is nothing to forgive. It sure was a bit weird, but I still enjoyed spending some time with you!"  
She cleared her throat.  
"Anyway, enough about me. Tell me about your project at the Everingham!"  
He told her about the structure of the building and how it brought out a lot of creativity in him. About the owners who gave them almost free rein. And about his team who seemed to understand what he wanted and helped him to make the plans even better.  
He talked with so much enthusiasm and passion that Frankie smiled at him.  
"Somehow this feels much better!" she said.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I don't know; you're telling it differently. Instead of showing off, it shows your passion for the project. I can see how you love your job! And not necessarily because it's a famous place and so-and-so has worked there, etc."  
Henry nodded. "I see what you mean. I think last time it was still the same, but it's probably the wording of things. I'm so used to talk in a certain manner. Having done that for years. Would you call it 'showing-off-manners'?" he winked at her.  
"Probably." With a mischievous smile she asked: "Do you want me to warn you when you're doing it again?"  
"Haha, I'll try my best. But seriously, it might help sometimes if you said it. Habits can be hard to break, you know."  
She nodded.

Soon they arrived back at Mansfield Park.  
"Do you want to do something or go somewhere to find distraction? Or do you want to talk? Or be left alone? Your choice." He smiled at her.  
She thought for a moment.  
"Distraction maybe? What about walking that route you mentioned this morning?"  
Henry nodded. "Good idea."  
After they had dropped off the camera bag, they soon were on their way.  
Frankie knew the first bit of the route, but then there were parts completely new to her.  
"I have been living here for years and never discovered this area. How did you find it?" She looked at him.  
"I think it was by chance really. I guess I sort of got lost first. But this path does go back onto more familiar roads."  
They walked and chatted about various subjects. Trees were beginning to shed their leaves for autumn, so the path was covered in brown, yellow and red leaves. Frankie couldn't resist kicking in a big pile.  
She laughed. "Because I grew up near the seaside I never got to do this properly when I was a child. So at times like this I just can't resist."  
Henry laughed. He kicked a few leaves as well.

Suddenly he stopped. It was so sudden that Frankie stopped as well to look at him.  
"What's the matter?" She looked puzzled.  
Henry shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.  
"Another memory came up." He looked thoughtful.  
"You know, this whole day I've had these weird moments when all of a sudden something that happened when I was a child, crosses my mind. Like a flashback. Very bright and detailed.  
I just remembered about a walk we did when I was about four or so. Mary was still in a pushchair and I was in between my parents who held my hands. They swung me back and forward and then landed me in a big pile of leaves. It was so nice!  
We took leaves home and my mum showed me how to make prints with them. Also we gathered acorns and conkers and I made soldiers out of them."  
His face had a nostalgic look.

He came back from his thoughts when he saw Frankie smiling at him. "That sounds like a great memory!"  
"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "But it's just so weird! I had completely forgotten about it and now I can see it so vividly all of a sudden as if it happened only yesterday."  
Now Frankie looked a bit concerned. "That does sound a bit strange. It must have something to do with the shock you had yesterday!"  
He nodded slowly. "That makes sense. But I don't know if it's bad or so. I mean, so far the memories have been nice ones. Maybe it's my brain's way of dealing with it all."  
Frankie nodded. "Could be. Anyway, this is a nice memory for today! I really like walking here, with you!"  
Henry glowed as he smiled at her.  
"I'm enjoying it as well! Thank you for being willing to stand up with me!"  
She pulled a face and laughed. "That ain't that difficult anymore! But seriously, I'm glad you're my friend. I don't know what I'd done if you weren't here these past few days!" She took his hand and squeezed it. Then she didn't let go of it anymore. Henry glowed even more.  
They happily walked on, now and then talking, sometimes just being quiet and taking in their surroundings.

After an hour they walked towards Mansfield again. Frankie sighed without knowing it. Henry looked at her. "You ok?"  
"Yeah. I think. I had managed to push all of that stuff with Ed to the back of my mind, but it's coming back again." She sighed again.  
Henry hesitated. "I hope my presence won't make it even more complicated! Please tell me if I need to back off!"  
"There was a time you did make it, unwittingly, very complicated and confusing. But at the moment I'm ok with you being here. As I said earlier, I don't know what I'd done without you!" She gave him a hug.

The rest of the afternoon they were in the sitting room. Henry was working on his laptop and Frankie had found a book to read. It was quiet and peaceful. So peaceful, that Frankie soon nodded off. Henry saw it with a smile. He himself yawned as well. It seemed their broken night did take its toll after all. Henry turned towards her to carefully put a cushion underneath her head. She jerked her head up.  
"I wasn't sleeping!"  
Henry grinned. "No of course not." He winked. "But this might be more comfortable." She nodded gratefully and closed her eyes again and was soon fast asleep.  
Henry put his laptop away, sat comfortably and also closed his eyes. Soon he slept too.  
An hour later he woke up and found Frankie staring at him with wondering eyes. She quickly turned away, slightly colouring.  
"Sorry," she mumbled.  
"Were you observing me?" He asked with a laugh.  
She didn't look up.  
"I woke up because you were making noises in your sleep. Were you dreaming?"  
"I guess. I can't remember it. Sorry for waking you up!"  
She waved her hand. "No problem. It did me good, having a little nap!" She opened her book again and after another yawn, seemed soon engrossed in the story.

Henry absentmindedly opened his laptop again. He was done with work, but didn't want to leave the room yet. But after a scroll through Facebook he was bored again and closed it. Then he resolutely got up and said:  
"I'm going to bring my laptop in my room. Do you want to watch a film afterwards?"  
She looked up. "Yeah, that would be nice! Which one do you want to watch?"  
"You can choose one if you like!"  
She nodded and he quickly left the room to bring his laptop away. After a detour through the kitchen to get drinks and snacks, he came back and found Frankie with two DVDs in her hand, trying to decide. She held them up in front of him. "Which one would you prefer?"  
They settled for The Winter Soldier, as last time they both had enjoyed it!

Towards the end of the film they were interrupted by Mary, whom they hadn't seen for most of the day.  
"Where have you been? I haven't seen you since you were outside looking for a place to read your book!" Henry looked at his sister.  
"Well, I read a while, I walked a bit. And when I came back from that, you were gone! I've had a little nap and then, when Ed came home, we talked." Here she looked at Frankie, who averted her eyes.  
"Ah yes, I went to pick up Frankie from the hospital and after that we had a long walk. Did only Ed come home?"  
"Together with Rhea, but I haven't seen her since."  
Henry could see she wanted to ask Frankie something, but he motioned her not to say anything. She slowly nodded.  
"Well, I see you guys are busy. I won't disturb you any longer. See you later!" With another glance at Frankie she walked out again.

Frankie let out another deep sigh.  
"She knows, doesn't she?" she looked at him.  
"I think so. But I'm impressed that she didn't say anything about it! My sister, holding her tongue! Wow, I haven't witnessed that before!" He almost laughed.  
Frankie pressed the play button again and they finished watching the film.  
Henry looked at his watch. "Wow, I didn't know it was that late! Eight o'clock! Do you want to get some dinner?"  
She nodded and stood up.

_Sorry for the abrupt ending of the chapter. I found it difficult to divide my story into chapters. I hope you can bear with me in this. :-) _


	5. Chapter 13-15

**Chapter 13**

On their way to the restaurant they ran into Ed in the corridor.  
"Ah, there you are!" Ed looked at Frankie. "Are you ok? You ran off so quickly at the hospital."  
Frankie stepped closer to Henry and grabbed his hand, as if she needed the support. He squeezed her hand.  
"Hi Ed. I am fine, thanks. Henry brought me home. I just couldn't stay! I'm sorry."  
Ed hesitated. "Do you want to talk?"  
She slowly shook her head. "No Ed, I said all I wanted to say back in the hospital. There's nothing more to say at the moment. I need time to deal with this somehow."  
"Somehow…" He echoed her last word and looked at their joint hands. "Somehow…" He said again, a bit of jealousy sounded through it. Then he sighed and walked off, head bowed.

Frankie drew a shaky breath, looking very troubled.  
Henry instinctively put his arms around her and she leaned against him, sighing deeply. After a little while he whispered. "Are you alright?"  
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I really don't know!"  
With his thumbs he tenderly wiped her tears from her cheeks. Somehow this only brought more tears into her eyes. She motioned to sit down on the floor.  
"I feel," she started with a choked voice. "I sort of feel torn in two! I think I'm starting to fall in love with you. But my feelings for Ed are still as deep as ever, although thinking about him just hurts so much at the moment! I really don't know what to do!"  
Any feeling of happiness Henry might have had after hearing the first bit, was taken away again. She looked very distraught.  
He put his arm around her shoulder and let her cry.  
After a while he started to get a bit uncomfortable. People were coming out of the dining room, staring at them when they walked past.  
"Frankie," he whispered in her ear. "Maybe we should go somewhere else." She looked up through her tears and saw the people. She looked embarrassed.  
"Why don't you go to your room and I'll get you a cup of tea or something?" She nodded and let him pull her up from the floor.  
Henry followed her with his eyes until she went through the door to the other wing.

Soon he was up at her room where she lay on her bed, covering her face with her arms.  
"Here, love, I've got some tea for you."  
She sat up and took the mug from him.  
"Thank you!"  
He sat next to her while she was sipping her tea.  
"Frankie," he said, looking at her. "You need a friend who you can talk to and who can help you! I really want to be that for you. But I am not sure if it's wise, since I think I'm part of the problem, so to speak. Also I will have to go back to work on Tuesday. Are you sure you don't want to go to Portsmouth for another week? Because I know Will would be probably the one person who could be there for you. Or what about Suzy?" He hesitated.  
"I just can't bear the thought of leaving you like this when I have to go in two days' time!"  
Frankie sighed.  
"I know you're right," she said. "But I think I'll cope. Especially if I'm going to the Antigua soon. I can use these weeks to get myself sorted and then move there. If Mr Bertram is here tomorrow I need to ask him the dates and details. It will help me to focus on something else!  
I do want to see Will, but he'll be busy most of the time anyway. And Suzy is lovely, but I've only just started to reconnect with her. I don't feel she's the person who I want to confide in.  
And as for you…" she looked shyly at him. "I believe at the moment you're the one most involved and the friend I really need. If it weren't for Ed…" Her voice trailed away.  
"But you have your life and soon things will have to go back to normal… Maybe that is best. These past few days have been like a roller coaster. If life settles down a bit, it will all be a bit easier I hope. And I might be able to find out what I want and what I feel."

Henry looked at her with admiration.  
"When I first got to know you, I wouldn't have known you to be so strong. But you're the most amazing, strong and resilient person I've ever met!"  
"Thank you Henry." A little smile appeared on her face.

"On a different note," he started, wanting to change the subject. "Tomorrow is the last day you'll have a chauffeur and a car at your disposal. Would you like to use that to go somewhere nice?"  
She laughed. "As long as I don't have to pay you at the end."  
"We'll see about that," he winked mischievously.  
"Did you have anything in mind?" She asked.  
"I might, but you may choose, so go on!"  
She was quiet for a while to think.  
"Could we go to Winchester for the day? That's where I went with Suzy the other day. I have decided that the University there is where I would like to go next year. We didn't have much time to look around then, but I really would like to see more of it!"  
"Sounds like a good plan to me!" he said.  
"Listen, maybe we should sleep early. I'm still tired and I could do with a good long night. With all the emotions we've had etc."  
She nodded. "Yes I need that too. Are you going to try without warm milk tonight?" she smiled.  
His face changed and with a sigh he said: "Thanks for reminding me. I might make myself one, just in case. You want some as well?"  
"Thanks, I'm fine I think!"  
He bent over and kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep well Franko."  
He was surprised when she put her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his lips.  
Then she coloured. "Good night Henry. Something positive to dream about." She said softly.  
He smiled and was still smiling when he got to the kitchen to get himself his hot drink.

**Chapter 14**

Henry was eating a bowl of porridge the next day in the breakfast room, when Frankie walked in.  
"I'm starving," she called to him. "I just realised that we didn't have any dinner yesterday. I need fuel!" She laughed. Henry laughed with her. When she came back with her breakfast, he asked: "Did you sleep well?" She nodded, her mouth full. After swallowing:  
"What about you then? Did you get any warm milk in the end?"  
"I think I slept well," he said, smiling. "At least my dreams were much more pleasant than last night." He winked at her and she coloured a bit.  
"I'm glad I could be of use," she joked, a little bit embarrassed.

They were disturbed when Mr Bertram walked in towards them. He looked tired but his voice was quite cheerful.  
"Good morning! How are you two doing? I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the hospital today. If so, you could have a lift with Ed. He will be leaving in about twenty minutes."  
Frankie looked a bit uncomfortable.  
"Thank you Mr Bertram. But we're going to Winchester today. We're in need of a break I think. We might go tonight to the hospital." She looked at Henry, who nodded.  
"How is Tom?" Henry asked.  
Mr Bertram smiled. "He is doing quite well, all things considered. He has been awake for longer periods now and responds well to the treatment. The only worry at the moment is, when they are going to try to lessen the morphine they're giving. They can only give that for a limited amount of time. At the moment it works fine, but Tom might be in a lot of pain if they reduce it. But we'll see how it goes.  
Anyway, I won't disturb you any longer. Enjoy your time in Winchester!"  
He wanted to walk away, but Frankie called him back.  
"Mr Bertram? I was wondering when you want me to start at the Antigua and when would be best for me to move?"  
He came back and sat down at the table.  
"It's a bit up to you really! I have been thinking and decided that you may choose. If you wanted to stay here, I'd send Norris over there. Or the other way around. Just know that we highly value all your work and energy!"  
Frankie looked a bit timid after these praising words.  
"I really would like to go to the Antigua. I've still got two weeks leave. I might go there next Wednesday or so? To get settled a bit and get to know the place. Is that ok?"  
"Sounds perfect to me! After I've had some rest this morning, I will do some work and make the necessary arrangements. Let me know what time you want to leave next week and I'll bring you there!"  
"Thank you!" Frankie smiled.  
Mr Bertram left.  
"Good news!" said Henry while he squeezed her hand.  
She nodded.  
"Now, back to today. Shall we leave straight after breakfast or is there anything else you need to do first?"  
"No that sounds good," Frankie said.

Half an hour later they were in the car, leaving for Winchester. They decided to leave the car at the park and ride and take the bus to the centre.  
Frankie had taken her camera. "I want to make another montage, just like I did in Brighton and Portsmouth," she said.  
They enjoyed walking around in the city centre, visited some shops, looked around in the Great Hall where they saw the Round Table. Henry showed her the architectural wonders of several buildings and told all he knew of the history of some of the building styles.  
Frankie was a very willing listener.  
"You told me you love architecture, but I didn't know you really knew that much about it all!" She coloured. "Sorry, that sounded really bad! Please don't be offended."  
He smiled. "Don't worry. I don't look like someone with that much head knowledge, right?" he winked, but she looked down, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry," she whispered.  
He gave her a gentle nudge against the shoulder. "It's fine. Please don't worry about it!"

They ate a sandwich for lunch in the Cathedral Gardens. It wasn't too busy, being a Monday. But the weather was still lovely! Frankie told of a school trip she once made to the Cathedral. "It was a combined effort from English Literature class and History," she told. "We were looking at the Jane Austen books. And if you know that I already was a book nerd back then, you'll understand I loved this trip!"  
Henry smiled, but then said: "As I'm not a book nerd, may I ask a very dumb question? What has Jane Austen got to do with this Cathedral? Or with Winchester for that matter?"  
Frankie winked. "I'll try to forgive you your ignorance, Mr Crawford. And I'll try to explain it to you. Jane Austen lived in Winchester for the last few months in her life. If you want, I can show you the house later. And she was buried in the Cathedral. There is even a plaque to commemorate her life!"  
"I see," was Henry's reply. "Well, I've finished my sandwich. Would you like to show me the house? Or shall we visit the Cathedral first?"  
"If you wish." They got up and a little while later they were walking through the immense space of the Cathedral. Frankie showed him the gravestone and the plaque. Although they both didn't have much interest in the rest of the building, they did walk around. After all they had paid entry and should make use of that!

Walking through the nave they were admiring the stained glass windows, when Henry almost stumbled. He had to sit down for a moment.  
Frankie looked at him. "What's the matter?"  
"Memory time." He grimaced.  
"Mum used to take us to church with Christmas and on other occasions. I remember how impressed I always was seeing these type of windows. When still a kid, I've tried many times to draw my own stained glass windows. But I never managed to get them as beautiful as they are in real life." He gazed around, sighing deeply.  
Frankie sat next to him and took his hand and stroked it. She didn't say anything, but was quiet with him.  
"You know, my mum used to tell me that God loved me. After she died I didn't want anything to do with Him. Or any religion for that matter. If He loved me, why did He let my mum die? I have ever since, pushed the thought of religion far away. I just don't know what to do with it. If God exists, then He must love me. For I cannot believe my mum would lie about that. Although I still can't understand why she had to die. But if He doesn't exist then my mum must have been deceived. And that is an even sadder thing to think about."  
He looked at Frankie.  
"Sorry for my rambling."  
"Don't be sorry. I don't mind it! As for the subject, I have no answers really. To be honest, I have never put much thought into religion or the whole God-thing. We were never brought up with it." She shrugged her shoulders a bit uncomfortably.  
"Are you ok? Do you want to stay a bit longer?"  
He sighed deeply. With a last look at the windows he got up.  
"Let's go! Unless you want to stay longer."

They walked back outside and Frankie pointed the way towards the house where Jane Austen had lived.  
Soon Henry was his cheerful self again. He really liked this city and somehow the buildings and age-old walls they saw, filled his mind with ideas and pictures. He tried to describe to Frankie what he saw with his mind's eye. But she looked a bit at a loss.  
"Maybe you need to draw it first!" she said with a smile. "I'm not familiar with all the technical terms you're using."  
"Ok, I will," he promised.  
They passed under an old arch and turned left. Frankie pointed towards a bookshop in the street. She told him this shop was already there in Jane Austen's time and the lady used to buy her notebooks there.  
The house itself was a few doors down from the shop. There was not much to see, except another plaque stating the facts.  
They walked further down the road, curious where it led to and got to the outskirts of the city.  
Frankie sighed. "It's a lovely city, but some quiet is nice for a change."  
Henry agreed.

Somehow they found their way to St Catherine's Hill. On the path that ran along it, only a few cyclists and dog walkers were to be seen.  
They looked up to their left.  
"The view up there must be amazing!" Frankie said.  
"Do you want to climb up?" Henry asked. "I think we're near a path that goes up."  
"Let's try! As long as you don't ask me to race you!" she laughed.  
"Sure?" he asked with a wink.  
"You'll win anyway. There's no use for me trying."  
They set off. Soon even Henry started to slightly get out of breath. It was quite a climb. When Frankie stopped briefly to rest, he extended his hand to her for support and they continued.  
Finally, they made it to the top, both breathless.

"Wow, that definitely was worth the effort!" Frankie looked around with amazement. The view was breath-taking. They both stood there for a while in silence, now and then spinning around to see another part of the view. Frankie got her camera out and did a 360. Then she spoke into the camera. "Look Will, we found such an amazing place! I don't really know what to say about it, so I'll just show you!" This time she made a slow circle, pausing every now and then. Then she turned the camera off again.  
"Whenever I'm at a place like this - a really beautiful place I mean – I wish I could share it with everyone I love! A camera can be helpful with that!" She smiled.  
Henry returned her smile.  
"It's amazing!" he said. "With you I am visiting places I would never have thought of going myself. And I thoroughly enjoy them!"  
They sat down to rest a bit and drank some water. Now and then they talked, but mostly they were enjoying the beautiful surroundings.  
After about half an hour, Henry looked on his watch.  
"I hate to ruin the mood," he said, with some regret, "but if we want to get back to Mansfield in time, then we should head back to town."  
"I guess we have to!" Frankie sighed.  
Then she said: "If we're still going to the hospital, maybe we should go from here. That will be shorter anyway! And that saves you some fuel."  
"Good idea," he agreed!  
He jumped up and pulled Frankie up from the ground.  
"Do you want to race down maybe?" he looked hopeful.  
She grimaced. "I've got my camera bag. I'm not sure if I could run with that. But if you really want to, you may go!"  
She laughed all of a sudden.  
"You almost look like a dog, waiting for a stick to be thrown so you can fetch it."  
She made the imaginary move of throwing a stick.  
"Well, go on then! Fetch."  
He laughed and then indeed did run. He knew he should be careful, but the feeling of freedom when he raced down, was magnificent.  
Out of breath he arrived at the bottom of the path and sat down on a bench. He could see Frankie slowly descending. Suddenly he got up again and walked back up. He couldn't let her struggle alone with that heavy bag!  
Soon he was by her side and took the bag from her shoulders.  
She protested a bit, but looked grateful. He took her hand again and together they descended the rest of the hill.

When they arrived back at the bus stop, Henry asked: "Would you like to leave straight away or do you want to have a meal first?" He winked. "This is an all-inclusive day trip, so you may choose whether or not you want to make use of the dinner part."  
She laughed. "I can't help but think about the payment at the end of the day. The bill must be high. But we might do a quick bite. Nothing fancy. It's not that late yet anyway."  
They found a little shop that sold Cornish pasties. "You're just in time," the man behind the counter said. "We're about to close!"  
They walked out with their warm snack in a paper bag. While eating they slowly made their way back to the bus stop. Luckily they didn't have to wait long before the bus came.

About half an hour later they were back at the car.  
Before they got in, Frankie held Henry back. She embraced him.  
"Thank you so much for this amazing day!" she whispered in his ear. Somehow their lips found each other for a brief moment. Frankie coloured when she let go of him, but didn't say anything.  
Henry held the door open on the passenger side. When she was seated he walked around to his own side. His heart sang and he felt butterflies.  
Before he started the car he turned to her. "I'm sorry. I don't have change from that." When she looked puzzled, he continued, his voice a bit rough: "That was a heck of a payment, you know!" He smiled a bit uneasy. He bit his tongue. He really wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn't. Not that it helped much. Her reaction as he looked her in the eyes, told him that what his mouth couldn't say, his eyes clearly communicated! She coloured deeply.  
After a moment he cleared his throat and managed to turn away and start the car.  
They drove in silence. Henry need all the attention on the road as there was a lot of traffic. And he needed to find the right way to get to Basingstoke from where they were.

**Chapter 15**

It took them almost an hour, because of the traffic, but finally they arrived at the hospital, which was by now so familiar.  
He hesitated. "Do you think we should call someone first? But then, it might not help anyway because of the bad signal."  
Frankie nodded. "I had thought about that."  
They decided to walk up and just see who was there. As they neared the room they knew so well by now, Frankie unconsciously walked closer to Henry, slightly nervous.  
Only Julia was sitting in the waiting room. Her eyes lit up when she saw them entering.  
"Good to see you both here!" She greeted. "I've got a bit bored! Ed and my mum are with Tom at the moment and I've got nothing to do. Dad had said that you might be coming tonight, but I didn't know it would be this early already." She looked curiously at them.  
"We came straight from Winchester," Frankie said. "So that's why. How are things here?"  
Julia shrugged. "Not much news. Tom is doing well. They will soon bring him to another ward hopefully. Do you want to go in and say hi?"  
Henry hesitated, but Frankie took him by the hand. "You can do this," she whispered. Then, out loud to Julia: "Yes, let's do that. I bet Ed and your mother are in for a break."  
She knocked on the door and Ed opened it.  
"Hey, you guys here? Do you want to come in?"  
Henry struggled inwardly, but was positively surprised. Tom didn't look as bad as yesterday, which was a relief. Besides, Frankie held his hand firmly and that really encouraged him.  
They greeted Mrs Bertram and Tom who were chatting.  
Tom seemed happy to see them.  
"Hello guys! How nice of you to visit!"  
Mrs Bertram got up and left the room after she said: "I'm going to get a drink."  
After an uncomfortable moment in which Tom - who never held back what he thought - made a remark on their joint hands, they managed to steer away from more awkwardness. And they soon chatted, about how Tom was doing and about their day in Winchester.  
Henry breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't as bad this time and he was happy about that.  
After about ten minutes, Tom said he was feeling tired. He had been awake for a good while, talking with his mum and Ed, before they arrived.  
They wished him 'sleep well' and left the room.

After a brief moment of awkwardness, being with Ed in the same room, soon all five of them were chatting and actually spent a good time together.  
Mrs Bertram asked about Winchester, so Henry and Frankie told about what they had seen and showed her the bits of video that Frankie had shot.  
"Wow, did you really climb that hill?" Mrs Bertram asked in amazement.  
"Yes we did! It was beautiful!" Frankie said. "I think it was quite literally the highlight of the day." She looked at Henry, who smiled and nodded. "Yes, I agree. The view was absolutely stunning!"  
Ed shifted uncomfortably and then got up.  
"Anyone wants a drink?"  
Julia also stood up. "Yes, I could do with a coffee. Anyone else? Come Mum, let us get some drinks!" Mrs Bertram looked a bit confused, but got up and after a quick enquiry as to what everyone wanted to drink, they walked out.

Ed stood there dumbfounded. It seemed like he didn't get the chance to leave, even though he wanted to.  
Frankie looked at her hands in her lap. Henry felt really uncomfortable.  
For some reason it seemed Julia wanted to give them some time alone. He didn't know how much she knew of the whole situation. Maybe they did need to talk. But he didn't feel he was the right person to start the conversation. He first glanced at Frankie and then he looked up at Ed.  
"Are you alright Ed?" He asked. He hoped that would help for a start.  
Ed heard Henry's genuine concern.  
"Not really, to be honest."  
Frankie looked at Henry with some surprise. He nodded reassuringly at her.  
"Do you want to tell why not?" Henry asked. "I do think we need to talk." He held his hand up to Frankie, who wanted to protest.  
"I know you say there's nothing to talk about, but have you given Ed any chance to say how he's feeling about this whole situation? He deserves a chance to talk about that!"  
Ed looked grateful at him.  
"Go on then, Ed. If you want to!" Frankie said, with a shaky voice.  
Ed came near and sat by them.  
He cleared his throat.

"You probably don't want to hear me say sorry again for my ignorance." She nodded. "But I still feel awful about my behaviour towards you. Today I have been thinking a lot. When I came home yesterday, Mary saw something was wrong. I told her what happened. She didn't seem surprised. She said that she had noticed your feelings for me. I leave it for her to apologise for the way she then treated you, after she found out. Especially by encouraging Henry all the more in his advances towards you. She told me she was jealous about our close friendship.  
Anyway, this is not about Mary but about me. For I happily let myself get distracted, without a thought. I remember now the moment we were going to the cinema. I did find that video today and watched it back. You were so disappointed that I didn't keep my promise, especially because in the end me and Mary went to see the same film that you wanted to watch with me." He sighed.

"I only just realised how special our friendship was. I always took it for granted, just the way it was, something normal. But I now know it was much more, especially for you.  
I feel awful if I'm causing you more pain, but maybe it's best to put it out there. I love you as a friend! You are a special person in my life and I now realise how precious our friendship is! I don't want it to break, because of 'this'" he vaguely gestured. "The past few days however, I have realised how much I love Mary! We are very different, yes, but especially after Tom's accident I feel how much our relationship is worth fighting for! I know we've still got a long way to go, but it will be worth it." He sighed deeply.

Frankie stared at him, unable to speak.  
Ed now looked at both of them.  
"I must admit that I've felt a bit jealous these days of your relationship together. Very selfish I think.  
But I have seen you both grow in the past days. And if I've had some doubts in the past," he nodded at Henry. "I do think you could make each other happy. Now I won't say anymore on the matter. I don't want to make wrong assumptions or jump to conclusions."  
"Thank you Ed," Frankie's voice sounded thin. "It's best to have the truth on the table. Sorry that I didn't want to listen to you earlier on. I can work with this. It will take time, but I will get there. The annoying thing in this all is, that it does affect our friendship! I wish it wasn't so, but I guess it's inevitable. Maybe that will be the most difficult thing to deal with, more so than the feelings I have for you. But hopefully in the future it will get better again. Next week I will be moving to the Antigua. I hope the distance will help to clear the sky again." She sighed. Then she stood up, walked towards Ed and embraced him. "You'll always be my friend," she said.  
"Thank you Franks," was his reply.  
"And thank you Henry, for getting us to talk!" Ed nodded gratefully to Henry.  
Henry shrugged. "It was necessary! And I think Julia thought so too."  
Frankie walked back to him and gave him a hug as well. "Thank you Henry!"

Julia and Mrs Bertram came in with the drinks. Julia looked at them.  
"Cleared the air in here?" she asked. Three heads nodded. "Good!" she smiled. "You've earned your drinks then."

The rest of the evening they took their turns to sit by Tom. At about nine o'clock Rhea and Mr Bertram came to take over. Soon after that the others left after a goodbye to Tom.  
When they were sat in the car again, Frankie sighed without knowing. "So, you'll be leaving tomorrow then?"  
Henry looked briefly at her.  
"Yes, back to work I'm afraid."  
She laughed a bit. "I might get withdrawal symptoms. But seriously, I am going to miss you! It's only been a few days, but it feels like weeks."  
He nodded. "It's been a weird few days. Although I of course wish the circumstances were different – I mean I don't wish Tom's accident etc. – but I'm glad I could spend them with you!"  
"Me too," she said. "So what time are you leaving tomorrow? Not absurdly early I hope?"  
"About nine I think. Avoiding rush hour on the roads and all that."  
They arrived at Mansfield ahead of the others but didn't wait for them. After a loving embrace they went to their respective rooms.


	6. Chapter 16-18

**Chapter 16**

Henry saw Frankie look at him, when he entered the breakfast room the next morning.  
"You didn't sleep very well, did you?" she stated, with some concern.  
"Can you tell?" He rubbed his eyes and sat down next to her.  
"I feel like I've been overrun by a lorry or so. I had such a terrible night! First I couldn't sleep and kept thinking about you and about how much I'll miss you. Then when I finally fell asleep, I had one of those awful nightmares again. I dreamt we were in that Cathedral. We were looking at that gravestone, but instead of Jane Austen's name, it had yours on. When I turned around to ask you why that was, you were gone. I looked all over the place, but couldn't find you. Then all of a sudden all those windows started to collapse and I saw you buried in all the glass, without being able to reach you! That's when I woke up." He shuddered at the memory.

"I didn't feel I could go back to sleep again. So I was thinking I might get out of bed and do a very early run. However, I must have gone back to sleep after all, for next thing I knew I was running down that hill again, in pitch black, and I couldn't stop. I went faster and faster and I heard you shout to stop but I couldn't. Then I crashed into the gate at the bottom of the hill. That's when I woke up again. I didn't want to sleep anymore, so I read a book instead. Around 5 or so I dozed off until now." He sighed and rubbed his eyes again.

"I am very sorry to hear that!" Frankie put a hand on his shoulder. "Can I get you a strong coffee or so?" He nodded and she left. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a headache coming up. He grimaced. This would be a 'fun' day. Driving to London in this state and then a whole day in the office.  
He startled when Frankie appeared again with a mug of very black coffee. After a muttered "Thanks", he took a sip and squinted his mouth. "Uggh this is strong." He took another sip and then looked at Frankie. "Thanks, that's probably exactly what I need for this day!"  
She sat down, but then stood up again. "Do you not want anything to eat? I can get you something."

"Cheers. But not yet I think. I don't feel like eating at the moment." He rubbed his neck and turned his head a few times in an attempt to release the tension, but to no avail. Then he felt two hands on his shoulders. He tried to look up. "Sit still," Frankie said. Carefully she massaged his neck and shoulders. He sighed, loving the feeling of her little hands on his skin. Somehow she knew what she was doing and little by little the tension lifted. He closed his eyes, only to open them again when he heard Mary's voice.  
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to disturb," was her mocking comment. Frankie's hands froze in the middle of their movement.  
"Ah, shut up you," Henry said with a weary voice.  
After a last gentle squeeze, Frankie let go and sat next to him again. "Thank you! I believe I feel a bit better now!" he smiled at her.  
Then he turned to Mary who looked impatient.  
"What do you want?"  
"Oh, nothing really. I just heard a rumour that you're leaving today for London? Thanks for telling me!" She sounded somewhat sarcastic.  
"Sorry Mares, but I haven't yet had the time to talk to you about it. I need to get back to the Everingham project as it needs my close attention. You're not going back yet are you?"  
She shook her head. "I promised uncle Grant to be back on Thursday. So I'll see you then I guess."  
She turned to Frankie with a serious face.  
"Frankie, did you talk to Ed yesterday?" When she nodded. "Sorry I needed to ask. Can I speak to you later today, please?"  
Frankie looked uncomfortable, but nodded. "Sure, no problem."  
Mary was satisfied and left again, with a wave to Henry.  
Henry had finished his coffee. He went to get another one and then wanted to leave to pack his bag.  
"I still need to pack and then I'll leave. So, see you soon?" He asked Frankie.  
She stood up. "I'll wave you goodbye outside. How long do you need? Fifteen minutes?"  
He sighed relieved. "Sure, see you outside in a bit."

Back at his room he first took some paracetamol. He had to admit his headache was much less already. The short massage had definitely done its job! He could still feel the soft pressure of her hands on his shoulders. He sighed when he thought about how much he would miss her. Hopefully they could text. But he did want to give her time to get herself sorted. Maybe it was better to not have contact for a while. A painful option. He decided to leave it to her whether or not she wanted to keep the contact.  
Quickly he packed his bag. Back in London he would first go home briefly to put on some decent clothes. This past week he only had had a few sets of clothes, since he couldn't have anticipated that he would be away for longer.

Ten minutes later he closed the door behind him and made his way outside to his car. Frankie looked a bit lonely when he saw her leaning against his car, staring out over the garden. She quickly turned towards him when she heard his footsteps.  
With a forced smile on her face, she said: "Well, goodbye for now! See you soon hopefully!" He embraced her tightly. His voice sounded muffled. "I'm gonna miss you so much!"  
"And I you," came the whispered reply.  
At last he let her go. He saw how she quickly wiped away some tears. She gave him a weak smile.  
"Please drive safely! And let me know when you've arrived at your destination!" Some worry sounded through her words.  
He smiled at her. "I promise I will be careful! And I will text you when I'm home!"  
With one last look into her eyes he got into his car. "See you!"  
A little wave and he was gone. The last thing he saw in his rear view mirror was a lonely girl, with her waving hand up in the air.

Later he couldn't remember how he had got safely back in London, but he had managed it without an accident. The first thing he did when he entered his door at home, was sending a text to Frankie. Her reply came swift with a thumbs up and an x. He smiled.

At six o'clock that evening he staggered into the door and collapsed on the sofa. He was exhausted! He had meant only to sit down for a little while, but he woke up at half past eight because his phone was making noise. When he finally managed to get it out of his pocket he saw he just missed a second call from Frankie. A moment later he had a text.  
'Hi Henry, I was just curious how you were doing. But I don't want to disturb you if you're busy. Take care!'  
He rang her back. After the second ring she picked up.  
"Henry?" some anxiety sounded through her voice.  
"Franko. Good to hear you! Sorry that I didn't answer your calls. I had fallen asleep, that's all."  
They talked a little while, telling each other what they had been doing during the day. Frankie told about her conversation with Mary.  
"She wanted to apologise about her behaviour and felt very bad about her part in everything. After that we actually had a really nice time! We might go for a coffee tomorrow in town!"  
Henry was happy to hear that their friendship was getting a second chance.  
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" he couldn't help asking.  
She sounded optimistic when she said: "Yes, I think so! I think everything is talked out and there shouldn't be any more hidden agendas! I did enjoy hanging out with her before. So all should be fine or will soon be!"

Before they hung up, Frankie said: "Henry? Today I have decided to try to keep off social media and my phone etc. for a while. See how long I can keep that up. Of course you can still ring me if needed! I just want to take time to sort myself out and also getting myself prepared to move." He could hear her swallow. "I also want to figure out how much I'll miss you, getting clear what my feelings are etc."  
He nodded slowly. "Henry? You there?"  
"Yes, sorry. I will not say it will be easy, but I respect your decision! Have I ever said how I admire your strength?"  
"Only ten times," she laughed. Then serious: "But thank you for your cooperation! Again, if really necessary, please don't hesitate to ring! I don't want you to feel awful on my behalf!"  
"Thanks love. I appreciate that!" He sighed. "Well, I think I'm getting into my bed to see if I can sleep now! Until next time!"  
"Sleep well Henry! Until next time!"

After they hung up, he sat for a while with his phone still in his hand. How long would it be until he heard her voice again? That morning he had already decided that he would let her the option whether or not she wanted to keep contact. But hearing her decision was still painful. He hoped he could manage, but the thought of no contact for God knows how long, was very painful.  
Slowly he got up from the sofa. After a quick shower he went into the kitchen. He was going to make some hot milk to help him sleep better. But when he opened the fridge, the only bit of milk left, was a week out of date. He had forgotten that no one had been here since last Friday. He sighed.  
He didn't like the idea of trying to sleep without. But then he remembered how he had always managed without. 'Don't be ridiculous,' he thought to himself.  
For a while he lay awake. He tried to think about all the lovely moments he'd had with Frankie and that way filled his mind with positive thoughts. Soon he fell asleep alright.

**Chapter 17**

It was Friday afternoon and Henry felt like a zombie. He had been in a meeting but just couldn't concentrate. His uncle had sent him home early, for he looked terribly in need of some sleep. Protesting hadn't helped, so now it was three o'clock and he sat on the sofa totally exhausted. He had seen Mary yesterday and today briefly, but she was still at work and had said she wanted to meet with friends tonight.  
He reached for his phone. A few times this week he had been on the verge of calling Frankie, but then he abandoned the idea again. After all, she wasn't his psychologist or so.  
But then he heard her say again, 'Don't feel awful on my behalf'.  
He sighed. He decided to ring her.  
However, the moment she picked up her phone the doorbell rang.  
"Frankie, sorry, someone at the door. One second."  
"It's me," she said.  
"Yeah I can hear it's you," he said while he walked towards the door.  
"No, I mean, it's me at the door."  
He opened the door and saw Frankie standing there, with her phone in the hand. As soon as she saw him, she looked very worried. The next moment she embraced him.  
"Henry, why didn't you call?" she looked up at him.  
He felt confused.  
"But you said…"  
"Yes, silly, I know what I said, but I also told you to call when necessary. And I can see it was totally necessary!"  
"How did you know?" he was still very confused. They got to the living room.  
"Mary rang me earlier this afternoon. She said you were sent home by your uncle and said you looked like a zombie – her words, not mine – but I think she was right. She said you might need some attention. And as Ed was going to London anyway to meet with Mary, I got a lift with him. So here I am. Now, tell me what's going on! And don't say 'nothing' because it doesn't look like nothing to me!" All of this was said with a firm tone, but his tired brain could hear the concern behind it.

He sighed. "In short: sleepless nights and nightmares and on top of that, friends who keep bugging me to go out, when I don't want to."  
He told her about awful nights in which he was afraid to fall asleep because of the horrible nightmares. Then he went on:  
"Usually, when I'm in town me and my friends go to the pub after work to hang out and to drink. So as soon as they knew I was back, they asked me if I'd go with them on Wednesday. I said I didn't want to. I guess they thought I was joking, because they kept texting and calling me. In the end I just turned off my phone. Yesterday evening, they tried the same.  
But it triggered another memory, a horrible one.  
I was at my aunt and uncle's house and it was only a few days after my mum's funeral. I could hear my aunt shouting at my dad who had arrived just moments before, really far gone drunk. She told him that they all understood how difficult this time must be for him, but that this wasn't the right way to deal with his grief. I don't know if it was just anger or if she wanted him to realise how serious it was, but she told him to leave and come back when he was sober again. She said she wasn't allowing him to see us in that state."  
He sighed.  
"Of course back then I didn't understand much of it all. All I know was that I was frightened and sad back then, and a bit afraid of my dad. I heard him mumble something, but I couldn't hear what it was as at that moment my uncle appeared behind me and sent me upstairs. He said I shouldn't be eavesdropping when grown-ups were talking.  
From the top of the stairs I saw my dad leave the house, walking unsteadily. That was the last time I saw him for a very long time. Very soon I heard he had left for the continent."  
Henry rubbed his eyes.  
"I am more and more realising how alike I am to my father! His fleeing a difficult situation that he couldn't handle. I did that all the time. Also, how often I have found myself too drunk to remember anything from the night before. And now it's haunting me and I am too tired to fight against it."  
He closed his eyes.

He was brought back to the now when Frankie took his hand. She had tears in her eyes.  
"I wish you hadn't waited that long. I know you're a guy and you're supposed to be strong." She allowed a small smile. "But I don't care about that. Remember, I've seen you cry, twice! All I see at the moment is a person who needs to get help and soon, if you don't want to end up worse.  
I care for you and it hurts me to see you like this!"

When he didn't respond, she stood up.  
"Right Henry, look at me!" He slowly moved his head up. He had heard her words, but they seemed to be muffled. He was too tired to take them in very well.  
"Henry, I think you need to see your GP. Have you got any phone numbers? Then we can see if we can get an emergency weekend appointment or so."  
He nodded. "I don't think I've got a number. Never needed it. Mary might know."  
The next moment she was on the phone.  
"Mary, sorry to disturb you, but have you got a phone number from your GP? Or some weekend emergency number or so?... "No, don't worry, nothing too bad. But he does need to be seen…. "Ok, thank you… "I will. See you later!"

Then she rang another number.  
"Hello? Could I please get an emergency appointment? It's for my friend here… "A severe lack of sleep due to nightmares and I believe traumatic memories… "Henry Crawford." She mouthed at him: "Date of birth?" He answered and she repeated it to the person on the other side of the line.  
"Yes ok… "Henry, they ask if you can tell more of your problem, to assess it a bit better." She handed him the phone.  
"Mr Crawford?" came a voice.  
"Yes that's me."  
"Your friend told me you have been having problems with sleeping? Could you tell me how long that has been going on?"  
He had to think.  
"Ehm, since last Sunday, I believe."  
"Thank you. And is this the first time you've had this problem?"  
"I've had it for a while when I was a child. Just after my mum died. But I had totally forgotten about it until last weekend."  
"Ok. And are you aware of something that might have triggered this?"  
"Well I've had a very emotional weekend sort of. A good friend had an accident and all sorts of other things happened on relational grounds." He didn't know how else to word it.  
"I do remember how seeing my friend in that hospital bed made me think of my mum when she died. And I think that's when I started to get flashbacks and nightmares."  
The voice on the other side hummed.  
"I see, thank you for explaining Mr Crawford. I can give you an appointment at seven o'clock tonight, so we can examine what to do about it. If possible, take someone with you. And don't risk driving until we've seen you!"  
He sighed. "Thank you. We will be there at 7."  
"Bye Mr Crawford."

Henry gave Frankie her phone back.  
"Thanks Frankie."  
"Don't mention it," she said. "So 7 it is? Where is the surgery?"  
He shrugged "Only a few blocks away. We can walk there in a few minutes."  
She nodded.  
"Right. Now, Henry, what have you been eating the last few days? I'm no cook but I'm sure I can make you a healthy salad or so. Get your vitamin level up."  
"I honestly can't remember," he replied. "The kitchen might give some clues."  
He got up and showed her to the kitchen. If he wasn't so tired, he would have felt ashamed about the mess. Mugs, plates and cutlery were piled up in the sink and food packaging was scattered all over the counter-top.  
Frankie grimaced.  
"I see."  
He startled when she turned around and walked towards him.  
"I hope you don't mind me bossing you around. But why don't you go to bed, to see if you could sleep a bit? I'll tidy up this mess and see if I can find a supermarket nearby to get some healthy stuff for you. If you show me the front door key, then I won't have to bother you to let me in."  
He smiled. "No, I don't mind. I'll try Miss!"  
She smiled back at him and with a friendly nudge she pushed him out of the door, towards his bedroom.  
Before he reached his bed, he heard the tap running and the rambling of pots and pans.  
He was glad she was there and very grateful for her care! Maybe he could sleep now.

He wasn't aware of his surroundings for an hour, until another fright gripped his heart. He woke up with a scream and noticed he was sweating all over.  
The door opened and Frankie walked in with an anxious look on her face.  
"Gosh, you scared me," she said! "It's really about time that something should be done about this."  
"I agree," he said. His heart was still racing. He reached for his water bottle next to his bed and gulped half of it down, before calming down a bit.  
Frankie observed him from the end of the bed. She looked like she wasn't sure what to do.  
He nodded reassuringly.  
"I'm ok I think." he said.  
"Good!" she said.  
"Do you want to eat something now?"  
He stood up from his bed.  
"I'll have a shower first and then will eat. Is that ok?"  
She smiled her consent.

After ten minutes he felt a bit refreshed when he got dressed. He walked into the living room, where Frankie was sitting on the sofa with a book. She looked up and smiled at him.  
"You ok?" she asked.

She had managed to make a tasty salad and they soon were eating. Henry still felt too tired to talk much, but he managed to listen to Frankie as she told him what she'd been up to in the past days.  
At quarter to seven they made their way to the GP surgery and at 5 past seven he was called in. Frankie went with him.  
After the doctor had done some examinations, he said: "All I can see is emotional and physical fatigue. No medical causes." Henry had to tell again about his nightmares and how it started off.  
"Right Mr Crawford. I'm going to do two things. First is, I will prescribe you some sleeping tablets. I can only prescribe them for a week as they are very strong and can be addictive. Therefore," Here he looked at Frankie, "Your help is needed. Just to check he takes the right dose at the right time.  
These tablets will knock you out completely, Mr Crawford, so they should prevent any nightmares. However, that also means that during the day you should be careful and I discourage you to drive any vehicle for the time being.  
The second thing is that I am going to get you an appointment with a psychiatrist. You need the right way to deal with your traumas from the past. If it would be delayed, you might develop a clinical depression and that is something we need to prevent!  
You will get a letter sent to your home address with details as to when and where your appointment will be.  
Lastly some advice: eat healthy and try to do some exercise. Will you be alright with that?"  
Henry nodded. "That shouldn't be a problem, since I usually run almost every day."  
"Good to hear Mr Crawford," the doctor said. "Now, is there anything else I might help you with?" and when Henry shook his head, "Well that's it then. Oh, one more thing. Here is your prescription note. Unfortunately, our own pharmacy is closed over the weekend, but here is the address of another one close by. They will be open tomorrow from 8 o'clock, so you can pick up your tablets."  
He stood up and shook hands. "Bye Mr Crawford, bye Miss Price."  
"Thank you doctor," Henry said.

Soon they walked back home. Henry suddenly laughed wryly.  
"His advice of healthy eating and exercise almost sounded ridiculous. I've always considered myself a healthy person for those things. If not for these bl*dy nightmares this past week…"  
Frankie looked at him. "How was he supposed to know? He meant well."  
"I know, I know. It's just a bit weird.  
So," he then continued. "psychiatrist then. I'd never thought I would have to go there." He sighed. "Well, I guess it's for the best."  
Frankie gave him a reassuring squeeze in the hand.  
"I'm sure it will be fine!" she smiled.  
"Yeah I hope. If only this night…" his face turned dark all of a sudden. "This means I have to try to sleep another night without. I'm not sure if I can do that."  
"Yes you can!" she said earnestly. "And I'll help you if I can and if you let me!"  
He sighed. "Thank you Franko. I don't know what I'd done without you!"

When they arrived home, they found Ed and Mary there.  
"I thought you guys were going out?" Henry asked.  
"Yes we are," answered Mary. "We are going out for dinner, but I want to get changed first."  
She looked at him.  
"How are you doing brother?"  
"I have been better I have to admit. We've just been to the doctor's and luckily there's ways to sort out my nightmares and the rest." He felt shy all of a sudden. For a moment none of them knew what to say.  
Mary suddenly stood up. "Well, I better get changed then. Won't be a moment, Ed." She left the room.  
Ed asked. "Anything I can do to help?"  
"No, but thank you for the offer!"  
"Anytime."

Ten minutes later Ed and Mary were gone.  
Henry looked at his watch. "It's still quite early. Do you want to do anything?"  
"Only if you're up to it." Was Frankie's reply.  
"I would feel like a terrible host if I hadn't offered," he grimaced.  
"Hey, don't feel obliged. After all I sort of invited myself, so no pressure on the host." She smiled at him.  
"Maybe we could watch a film?" he asked.  
"That sounds like a plan."  
Soon they were settled on the sofa and watched The Avengers.

After an hour Henry noticed he could hardly keep his eyes open. He sighed.  
He was quietly scolding himself for being so scared to sleep, but that didn't help.  
Frankie noticed his discomfort. She paused the film.  
"You ok?" she asked softly.  
"Don't know. I'm almost falling asleep, which is good I guess. But I don't want to. No matter how much I keep saying to myself it's ridiculous, I am scared to fall asleep. No, terrified even."  
Frankie took his hand.  
"It's not ridiculous! You can't help it! Your feelings are real! Don't beat yourself up for it. Acknowledging what you feel is the first step in the right direction." He smiled faintly.  
"My uncle used to call it nonsense, when I was a kid and didn't dare to go to sleep. I don't know how many times he must have said it, but his remarks are engraved in my memories. 'Henry,' he would say, 'you're a big boy. Big boys don't cry.' My mum never ridiculed my tears." He sighed deeply. "Why did she have to die?"  
He felt Frankie's hand on his arm. Although she couldn't take away his pain, he felt a bit comforted by her presence.  
They sat in silence for a while. Henry felt he was nodding off again.  
"Would you like some warm milk then? It has helped before hasn't it?" Frankie stood up.  
"Yes. Thank you! I think I am going to try to sleep. I'll get myself ready."  
She nodded and he walked to his room.

He had just gotten into bed, when Frankie knocked.  
"Ready for your medicine?" she smiled as she entered.  
He laughed.  
"You would be a good nurse," he said.  
"No thank you," was her quick reply. "Too many things I don't like. Like dealing with blood for instance."  
She had made a mug for herself too and sat next to him on the bed.  
Suddenly he shot up.  
"How awful a host I am. I hadn't even thought to ask if you were staying and I should have then showed you where the guest room is and made sure you're comfortable. I'm so sorry Frankie."  
She just smiled.  
"Don't worry! Mary showed me already and sorted it out."  
Henry sighed and leaned back again.  
"I'm glad my sister thought about it!"  
Slowly he drank of his hot milk. He didn't want to, but he had to admit he was still scared and tried to delay the moment that he had to close his eyes as long as possible. But then he scoffed at himself.  
"I almost feel like a little child that is trying to delay his bedtime as much as possible," he said to Frankie. "I won't ask you to read me a story however."  
She laughed. "I'll try not to treat you as a little kid then." She said. "However, I would like to collect your mug when you're ready. And then I will wish you good night."  
She got up and he gave her his mug.  
Her face got serious again.  
"I hope you will sleep well!" she paused. "You usually don't realise what you're saying when wishing someone good night. But this past week, every time I said it to you, I've never wished something to happen more, as this!"  
She walked out of the room.  
"Good night to yourself," he called after her!

He still lay awake for a while. He heard some noises from the living room and then from the kitchen. Then the sounds moved to the guest room and the bathroom. Soon the house was quiet.  
Henry slowly nodded off. He was too tired to resist it.

**Chapter 18**

After a while he woke up - drenched in sweat - from his own scream. He sat up, panting. He reached for his bedside light and looked at his watch. It was only 12 o'clock. He closed his eyes in despair. A long night was still ahead. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He felt too exhausted.  
He heard a knock on the door. Frankie came in, looking very sleepy, but even then she couldn't hide her worry.  
She sat next to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.  
He shook his head.  
"I don't remember it. Just the fright." He let his head hang in despair.  
Then he felt her hand against his cheek. She embraced him and just held him for a while.  
He didn't know how she did it, but he felt he calmed down. Her nearness comforted him. After some time, she let go.  
"How are you feeling?" she asked softly.  
"A little bit better!" he sighed.  
"Good to hear!" she said. Then she got up and walked out.  
"I'll be back in a second."

Before he realised, she was back again, with a duvet and pillow from the guest bed.  
She got next to him on the bed and got comfortable under the duvet she had brought.  
He looked puzzled at her.  
"What's your plan?" he asked. "Are you sure about this?"  
Suddenly she looked a bit shy again.  
"I figured this would be the best thing to do. As my presence seems to give you some comfort, we might as well see if we can keep your dreams at bay this way."  
"Are you not afraid Mary or Ed might see you here?" he wondered.  
"For once I don't care what other people think!" was her reply.  
"I trust you! Besides," she grinned all of a sudden, "I think at the moment I would be stronger than you anyway, because of your lack of sleep. So don't get any ideas!"  
He pretended to be offended. "Are you abusing my condition to make fun of me?" he asked, but he laughed.  
"But I really appreciate all you do!" he said with a serious voice. "And I thank you for this. I promise I won't take advantage. I value our friendship too highly to ruin it in some stupid way."  
"I believe you," she said simply.  
"Now, go back to sleep!"  
He turned off the light and lay down again.  
"Frankie?" he whispered in the darkness.  
"Yes?"  
"I love you!"  
"I know!" was her sleepy reply.

Only for a little while he lay awake. Soon he heard from her breathing that Frankie had fallen asleep.  
Never had he dreamed this would happen. Yet here he was, with the girl he loved next to him. But this was still different. He thought about all the times he had had other girls in his bed. He now felt shame about it. He would never treat Frankie like those girls. Their relationship was far too precious for that. She deserved better.  
He was amazed at her trust. She knew about his past. Yet she had simply told him that she trusted him. And he could see she meant that. Proof was the fact that she so soon had fallen asleep, untroubled. He would honour her trust!  
He smiled in the darkness. He felt privileged that she wanted to be with him, to be his friend!

His thoughts became muddled as he started to fall asleep again. The last thing he noticed, was that he didn't feel as scared.  
However, his dreams once more made him toss and turn and he half woke up, but then felt Frankie's hand holding his with a squeeze. And he slept again, undisturbed.

The next morning, he woke up first, his hand still tangled with hers. Slowly, to not wake her up, he turned around to face her. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't resist looking at her.  
Soon, as if she felt his gaze, she began to shift and then slowly opened her eyes.  
A blush crept up her cheeks.  
"Good morning," she whispered. "How are you?"  
"Not too bad I think!" He realised. "Good morning to you too! And what about you?" He asked.  
She yawned. "I am fine! But I can't really feel my hand. Do you mind letting go?"  
He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that." She stretched her hand a few times to get rid of the stiffness.  
Henry turned to his back and then sat up. Frankie followed his example.  
He told her that he felt better than he had for days.  
He laughed. "The medicine will probably be even more effective, but it won't be as pleasant."  
Frankie blushed.  
"But I won't be there all the time, so the medicine will have to do."

She turned to face him and sat with her legs crossed.  
"Henry, I have to tell you something." She looked serious.  
"What is it?"  
Absentmindedly she played with her hair and looked down for a moment.  
"You know, these past few days were quite difficult. I believe it was good to not have contact for a while, but I've often stood with my phone in my hand, debating whether I should ring you or not. I really missed you and I was worried about you. However, I hoped you would let me know if anything was wrong.  
I think it was a good thing that I wasn't working this week. I would have messed up a lot for lack of concentration." She laughed. "Poor Mary! She must have been disappointed about our coffee date on Wednesday. I probably didn't hear half of the things she said."

She looked up into his eyes.  
"Henry, when I got Mary's phone call yesterday I wasn't really surprised. It was as if I sort of had expected it. But I was shocked to see in what state you were in. How a few days without sleep could alter a person so badly!  
I have had some time this week to analyse my feelings.  
When I got Mary's phone call I didn't hesitate. I knew I had to come here. To be here with you, and to be there for you.  
I might have been a bit bossy yesterday, but I just couldn't bear seeing you like that and to see you sink away in a depression or so. You mean too much for me, Henry! I love you!"

She blushed but didn't look away from his gaze.  
Henry felt overwhelmed, as if he couldn't quite believe what he heard.  
He hesitated. "Are you… are you sure?" she looked puzzled. "It's just… I'm so surprised. Are you sure it's not just sympathy or so?"  
She sighed.

"I am very surprised you ask me that. But I know my feelings. It's the truth! Let me explain: after your first 'proposal'," she made the gesture. "and my rejection, I talked about it, first with Mary and then with Ed, when they came to say goodbye before they left for London. Ed said something along the lines that I would never fall in love with someone without first carefully thinking about it. And he is right. That's just how my brain works. That's another reason why I didn't fall for you first thing, although you hoped that. I've seen you grow and change in the past few weeks. It has altered how I see you. This last week I've seen you genuinely care for me and you allowed me to be with you in your most vulnerable moments. My trust in you has grown through it. You are worth being loved and I want to be that person who loves you, through every circumstance.  
Meanwhile I will have to tell you that I will still need time to cease to love Ed in that way. So I'm sorry at the moment you have to share my heart with him still."

She looked at him with a mixture of uncertainty, timidity and love in her eyes and continued: "So when I say love you, I mean just that, Mr Crawford. Are you satisfied now?"  
He smiled. "More than!" He moved closer and they kissed.  
After a while of talking and more kissing, he got out of bed.  
"I feel awake enough to make you breakfast in bed!" he smiled at her.  
"Sounds good!" Frankie said.  
He smiled when he walked to the kitchen. Frankie loved him! He would have been perfectly happy if not for his sleeping problems.  
In the kitchen he met Ed.  
"Morning! I didn't know you were staying?"  
"Oh hi," was Ed's reaction. "Yeah I was planning to stay at my own place, but it was so late and I just couldn't be bothered to drive there."  
Henry opened the fridge to start preparing two breakfasts.

"How are you doing then?" Ed asked. "I haven't heard all of course, but I understood you had some sleeping problems?"  
Henry nodded. "This night wasn't too bad luckily! And later on today I can pick up some sleeping tablets that the GP prescribed yesterday. Hopefully it will help to sort it out." He gave his full attention to making toast. He felt uncomfortable talking about his problems. While Ed was a good guy, he just didn't feel their friendship was as such he would be sharing all of it.  
"Mary still asleep?" He asked.  
"Of course," was Ed's answer. "You know her!"  
Soon he had a tray ready with his and Frankie's breakfast, so he wanted to walk out of the kitchen.  
"And Frankie?" he heard Ed ask.  
"What about her?" was his careful reply.  
"She awake yet?"  
"Ah. Yeah she is."  
Before he got any more prying questions he quickly left and got back to his bedroom.

Frankie was still sitting leisurely on his bed, reading.  
She looked up.  
"I see you've got your own copy of Langston Hughes."  
"Yeah I got mine at the same time I bought yours."  
He put the tray in the middle of the bed and sat next to her.  
"Bon appetite madam!"  
Soon they were eating and chatting, enjoying each other's company.  
When they were finished he looked at his watch.  
"Wow, nine o'clock already! What shall we do today?" He looked at her. Suddenly worried: "You don't have to leave yet right?"  
She nodded reassuringly. "Don't worry, I can stay a few days longer!"  
He sighed relieved.  
"There is one thing that we _have_ to do," she said. "That is picking up your prescription. The rest is up to you really. You do look a bit better, but I'm quite sure you're not entirely recovered yet."  
He smiled wryly. "Thanks for reminding me. I have got some energy at the moment, for as long as it lasts. To be honest, I feel like a run! I haven't run since Monday. Would you like to join? I don't want to leave you on your own here."  
She smiled. "Don't worry about me! I'll keep myself occupied! I am not going to run with you! I would only hold you up and besides, I would feel too self-conscious!"  
Henry slowly nodded.  
Then she said: "Why don't you go out for a run now? I'll sort this out." She pointed at the dishes. "And I could pick up your prescription if I knew where it is."  
He dropped his phone in her hands. "Google it!"  
He bent over to give her a quick kiss. "Well, I'll get myself ready."  
Frankie stood up and with the tray in her hands she walked towards the kitchen, ahead of him. "Good morning," he heard her say, and by the reaction she got, he knew Mary was awake as well.

He quickly got into his running clothes and moments later peered into the kitchen to say goodbye. He froze in his action when he heard some agitated voices.  
"And I'm telling you it's none of your business!" Frankie sounded upset.  
"But Franks," came Ed's voice. He in his turn was interrupted by Mary.  
"Leave it Ed, she doesn't want to talk about it."  
Henry walked into the kitchen and three pairs of eyes turned towards him.  
"What's the matter here?" He tried to sound casually.  
Frankie looked angry.  
"Nothing! Certain people are just a bit too nosy is all." She breathed in and out deeply a few times to calm herself.  
He walked towards her and put his hand on her shoulder. Then he looked at Mary, who looked a bit guilty.  
"I was just telling that last night when we came home, I went into the guest room to get something, totally forgetting that Frankie would be there. But no one was there and even the bedding was gone. I just asked where she had been sleeping. That's all." She shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't mean to upset you Frankie. I'm sorry!" The latter sighed deeply again.  
Henry looked sternly at Mary.

"To stop you making assumptions, I'll tell you this: You know about my nightmares right?" when she nodded. "I am afraid I woke Frankie up with my scream. She came to me to see how I was and was willing to keep me company so I wouldn't be scared to fall asleep again." He sighed deeply, realising all of a sudden how much of his problem he had actually divulged.  
Frankie squeezed his hand.  
Luckily both Ed and Mary seemed to understand how serious he was and both mumbled a "Sorry."  
He nodded to them and then turned to Frankie.  
"You ok?" he asked.  
She nodded. "I'll be fine! You go for your run then!" she squeezed his hand and then let him go.

_A.N. I have written this story for my own enjoyment. I realise that the people might be a bit out of character, compared to the series. But that's because it's not easy to keep faithful. The writers (and actors) have done such an amazing job that I can't possibly live up to that. So I hope you'll forgive me for not portraying the characters very accurately and I hope you still enjoy reading this story! Please leave some comments. I would like to know what people think of what I've written. _


	7. Chapter 19-21

**Chapter 19**

Henry was soon running towards his favourite park. How he had missed this! It always felt good to go. For a while he was concentrating on his breathing and on his pace. Then his mind wandered off to Frankie, as it always did of late. He hoped she was ok. He knew how annoying his sister could be. But he knew how strong she was.  
He was still amazed about her care and about her confession of love. He hoped he soon would be well again so he could enjoy the growth of their relationship!  
His mind went back to his nightmares and he sighed. He noticed he didn't have as much energy as usual.  
He had to return sooner than he wanted to. Nearing home, he was breathless and actually had to walk the last bit.  
Frankie welcomed him with a big smile. Henry briefly thought how lovely it would be to always come home and be received like this.  
"How was your run?" she was eager to know.  
"I enjoyed it, but it did wear me out today!" He said, while he walked to the kitchen. He got a bottle of cold water out of the fridge and drank with deep draughts.  
"Did you manage to find the pharmacy?" he asked.  
"Yes, fine. Mary showed me when she and Ed went for a walk."  
She gave him a little paper bag, which Henry opened. The tablets didn't look too hard to swallow. He got out the instructions to read them.  
He squinted.  
"Why are these bl*dy things always in such a small print?" he grumbled. After fetching his glasses from his bedside table, he sat down to read.  
"I trust the guy did know what he was prescribing me, but my god, look at all the possible side effects!" he let Frankie read it.  
"Ah, don't worry about that. They have to do this, so as to rule out any eventuality. But look at the rarity of the side effects.  
Now, what does it say about when to take them? How long before bedtime? Hmm, that doesn't sound too complicated." She gave him the paper back and he put it back with the rest.

He left the room to take a shower and ten minutes later he sat down on the sofa, next to Frankie, who was reading again.  
"Still reading Langston?" He asked.  
"Yep, I find his poems fascinating. I'm trying to learn some off by heart. But I have to say, your poem is my favourite!" she smiled at him.  
"Mine too," he admitted.

Despite it being the end of September, the weather was still beautiful. There had been some rain on Wednesday and Thursday but the sun was out on this Saturday so they decided to go out and take a picnic with them.  
Henry wanted to show Frankie his favourite park in London. It would probably be busy but the park was big enough to not feel crowded.  
They wandered around, their hands joined. Henry showed her some paths he had discovered during his runs, that didn't seem to be used much by the public. They talked about life in the city and what their favourite thing was about it.  
Frankie told she was surprised so far as to how she liked to be in London!  
"I haven't seen too much of the busyness yet. The area where you live is certainly beautiful!"  
He laughed. "I'm glad you like it, but you ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until you have to use the tube when it's rush-hour. Or when you see the hordes of people on a Saturday at a place like the Borough Market. But I will spare you the experience yet. Unless you'd like to see it of course."  
"No thank you," she said. "At the moment I'm satisfied with this and have no desire whatsoever to be in a crowded place like that."  
They found a nice spot to eat their picnic. After their meal, Henry stretched out in the grass. He seemed to have spent all his energy already and felt drained.  
"Sorry Frankie, but I'm tired again."  
"Don't be sorry," she said. "I would have been surprised if you didn't feel tired yet."  
She took his hand in hers and caressed it.  
Soon he felt he was drifting off to sleep.  
He knew nothing until he woke up two hours later. Frankie lay next to him on her tummy, engrossed in a book.  
He rubbed his eyes and then looked at his watch.  
"Wow, I didn't know I had slept that long!" he said. "I hope you haven't been bored." He looked at her.  
"Me? Bored? You see this book? As long as I've got a book to read I won't be bored." She smiled. "And I think you had a good nap!"  
He nodded and sat up again.

Restless all of a sudden he couldn't stay seated. He jumped up so suddenly that Frankie looked startled.  
"Do you really have to spend your energy all at once?" was her sarcastic comment. But she laughed when she said it.  
"Don't worry," he smiled. "I just need to move about a bit." He looked around. "I can spot an ice cream van. Do you want an ice cream?"  
"Sounds good," she said.  
Henry sprinted off. He didn't know why, but felt the urge to run.  
Soon he was back and they enjoyed their cold snack.  
Henry enjoyed every moment of their time together. Frankie could be quite quiet in company but he noticed she was definitely opening up more and she seemed totally at ease with him now!

At the end of the afternoon they made their way back home via a different route.  
They found Mary and Ed in a serious conversation. They hardly seemed to hear it when Henry greeted them.  
Henry and Frankie went to the kitchen to clean up their lunch things.  
"That was a nice afternoon," Frankie said. "Thank you for showing me around!" She threw him a tea towel and started to wash up. They talked while their hands were busy.  
Henry thought that even washing up was nice when you did it with the person you loved.  
After enquiring whether the other couple wanted their dinner at home, Henry and Frankie prepared a meal. It was fun to work together and Frankie remarked that she never really had been into cooking. "But I might start to enjoy it yet!"  
After the four of them had their meal and the kitchen was tidy again, they moved to the living room to watch a film. Henry had to admit it wasn't his favourite genre but the others seemed to like it.

Halfway he felt he started to nod off.  
Frankie noticed and looked at him. "You ok?" she whispered. He yawned. "Yeah, I think so. I might take the medication and go to bed." He let go of her hand and stood up.  
The others looked up briefly but Frankie followed him with her eyes.  
In his bedroom he got ready to sleep and then sat down to take a sleeping tablet. It said on the instructions that it would start working in about half an hour.  
He was really tired so hopefully it would kick in soon.  
After 5 minutes Frankie knocked on the door and came in.  
She looked a bit shy. "How you doing?"  
He smiled at her. "Tired, but I've taken the stuff, so should be fine soon."  
He tapped on the place next to him.  
"Want to join me for a bit?" She nodded and sat next to him.  
"Has the film finished yet?" He asked her.  
"No, not yet. But I couldn't concentrate anyway. I might go to sleep soon as well. You should be alright tonight I think?!"  
"I hope so," he said. "If this stuff works, then I should be knocked out until 8 o'clock tomorrow morning or so. I am looking forward to a night without interruptions, you know!"  
They talked a bit more when all of a sudden he started to feel strange.  
His eyes got heavy and his speech started to slur.  
Frankie noticed the change. She bent over to kiss him.  
"Sleep well!" she said. "I love you!"  
"Love you too," he managed to say. The last thing he noticed before he passed out, was Frankie's hand gently brushing through his hair.

It took a while for Henry to wake up. He felt as if he couldn't open his eyes. When he finally managed, his sight was blurry. His head swam. Slowly he managed to take in his surroundings again. Then he started to notice the smell of coffee. He turned his head around and saw a mug on his bedside table. And a little note. 'Good morning love, I hope you slept well. Enjoy your coffee. x F.'

He smiled and managed to sit up. Slowly he sipped from his coffee. She must have put it there only moments before he woke up, for it was still fresh and warm. The door opened and she came in with a tray with breakfast. She looked fresh and was all dressed.  
"Hello you! You've found your coffee then." She smiled and the next moment sat next to him, where she embraced him.  
"How are you feeling today?"  
He noticed his speech was still a bit slow.  
"I think I am doing fine! The stuff seems slowly to be wearing off. Gosh that felt so weird." Then he asked, "Had you been checking on me? Did you know I was almost waking up? The coffee seems only just made."  
Frankie coloured.  
"After you fell asleep I stayed for a while. You know, thinking about stuff. I think I fell asleep, for the next thing I knew was when I half woke up in the middle of the night, still here. I just couldn't be bothered to go in the other room, so I just turned off the light and went back to sleep. I woke up maybe half an hour before you, got myself dressed and then did come and check if you were still asleep. So yeah, that's why." She coloured again.  
"Well, thank you!" He kissed her. "Much appreciated!"

While they were having their breakfast, Henry slowly felt the effects of the sleeping tablet wearing off. It took a while before he truly was awake and functioning. Frankie seemed to notice that and therefore made sure their chat was light-hearted and calm.

**Chapter 20**

Frankie couldn't really concentrate on the film they were watching. She liked it well enough, but her thoughts were with the man sitting next to her, whose fingers were tangled with hers. Now and then she looked at him, noticing a bit of restlessness. Then she felt him nodding off. "You ok?" she whispered. He yawned. "Yeah, I think so. I might take the medication and go to bed." He let go of her hand and stood up. She followed him with her eyes when he left the room. He looked really tired.

She turned back to the screen without seeing much. She was a bit surprised about herself. She never would have thought that anyone could so wholly occupy her thoughts.  
She knew she had always been thinking about Ed, but somehow this was different.  
Thinking about Henry made her stomach flutter. She still felt the pressure of his hand. She sighed deeply and then got up.  
It was no use sitting here when she didn't see anything of the film anyway.  
Quickly she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. The rest would come later.  
She knocked on Henry's door and suddenly felt a bit shy.  
He was sitting in bed, ready to sleep. Her stomach jumped when he looked at her. He patted on the bed next to him.  
"Want to join me for a bit?" She nodded and sat next to him.  
"Has the film finished yet?" He asked her.

"No, not yet. But I couldn't concentrate anyway. I might go to sleep soon as well. You should be alright tonight I think?!"  
"I hope so," he said. "If this stuff works, then I should be knocked out until 8 o'clock tomorrow morning or so. I am looking forward to a night without interruptions, you know!"  
She nodded. She really wished that for him!  
They chatted a little bit longer, when all of a sudden she noticed a change. Henry's words didn't make sense anymore, he started to slur. She could see how the medicine really started to kick in. It looked a bit frightening but she knew it was for the best.  
She bent over a kissed him.

"Sleep well!" she said. "I love you!"  
"Love you too!" came his slow reply. She stroked his hair and saw him go. How weird did that look. But oh how she hoped it would help him. With all her might she wished he would feel better soon! She remembered how shocked she was when she saw him yesterday afternoon. He had looked so exhausted, she hardly recognised him! And then twice he had scared her when he screamed in his nightmares. She knew he needed someone close by, as he seemed not to have had when his trauma first struck when still a child. That's why she didn't want to leave him alone during the night. She would never have thought that she would do such a thing, sleeping in the same bed as Henry, of all people! But it had been the right thing to do. Her mind had been so focused on him, that even when she was asleep she had noticed it when he got restless, and that he calmed down when she took his hand in hers.

Frankie looked at Henry again and felt almost overwhelmed by her love for him. She wouldn't have thought it possible a few months ago! She remembered first her annoyance at him and his behaviour and later all the confusion he had caused in her head. How often had she said to herself, and to Will, that she would not fall for Henry Crawford 'and his beardy charms'!

She smiled and looked at him. He certainly was handsome. But she knew that was not the reason why she had fallen for him in the end. It was his enthusiasm, his commitment to her and the way he cared for her. Once he had let down his mask with her, she had seen a genuine person, with a lot of potential and who, almost accidentally, had learned that he was capable of love and of being loved, despite the walls he had put around himself. She was really glad to have finally discovered the real Henry and, although she had never sought it first, she was grateful for his love for her.

Almost without noticing she slowly fell asleep.  
In the middle of the night she woke up, feeling a bit cold. Then she realised, she was still half sitting on Henry's bed in a rather uncomfortable position. She looked at him and saw his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm indicating that he was fast asleep.  
She shivered and quickly got under the duvet to get warm. With care she covered Henry a bit better, feeling his heartbeat under her hands. She blushed when she quickly removed her hands.  
Reaching over him, she turned off the bedside lamp which was still on until then.  
Then she lay down comfortably and soon was asleep again.

When she woke up, at first Frankie wasn't sure where she was. She turned around, but her knees met with Henry's thigh. That made her fully realise where she was! She felt her cheeks burn. He didn't stir, so probably hadn't noticed it. In her sleep she had moved closer to him than felt appropriate. She breathed deeply and smelled his scent.

Right, that was it! Carefully, so as to not wake him up, she sat up and moved away a little bit. But her eyes kept going back to him. After five minutes of observing him, she got up. After a quick shower and changing of clothes, she checked on Henry again. Noticing he started to slowly stir, she left the bedroom again to go to the kitchen. She decided to first make some coffee and then to prepare some breakfast. She was so totally absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Ed walking in.

Only when he said, "Morning Franks," she registered his presence.  
"Sorry Ed, my thoughts were miles away. Good morning!"  
Ed grinned. "Not that far away I would say, given the look on your face! Next door, I guess?"  
Frankie coloured and then felt a bit annoyed. Why would he say that? It was none of his business!  
"Could you for once stop prying into my life please?!" she said with some irritation in her voice.  
"I'm doing it again, aren't I? Sorry Franks!"  
She sighed. "It's ok. It's just all still too new to make jokes about it."  
"I understand! Sorry again!" he sounded serious. "I must say I'm a bit jealous at you guys."  
Frankie looked incredulous. "Why ever would that be?" she asked.  
"I don't know! You really seem to complete each other! The ease there is between you! Mary and I have had struggles from the beginning. We're working on it, but still. And never again say that you're not his type or the other way around! You're both besotted with each other!"

Frankie's colour on her cheeks deepened.  
"Thanks I guess? But why are you saying all this?"  
"I don't know. It's just what I've seen!"  
"I see," she still didn't know what to make of it.  
"Right, if you'll excuse me." She quickly left the kitchen with two mugs of coffee. Carefully she opened the bedroom door. Henry was still asleep. Quietly she put his coffee next to him. From his desk she took a piece of paper and wrote a little note which she put next to the mug.

Then she left again to finish off the breakfast. Ed was slowly eating a bowl of cereal at the table.  
"You're back to work tomorrow, right?" she asked.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry I can't take you back to Mansfield."  
"Don't worry," Frankie said. "I'll manage fine to get there! I first need to see how Henry is doing tomorrow, whether he's fit to go back to work. If not, I might stay another day."  
"Ah! Well, let me know if there's anything I can do!"  
"Thanks!" With that she walked out again with the tray. She expected Henry to be awake by now, so she knocked before she entered.

He was indeed awake, was sitting up and was drinking from his coffee.  
"Hello you!" She said with a smile. "You've found your coffee then." She sat next to him on the bed and embraced him.  
"How are you feeling today?"

She could see his reaction was a bit slower and his speech still slurred a bit.  
"I think I am doing fine! The stuff seems slowly to be wearing off. Gosh that felt so weird." Then he asked, "Had you been checking on me? Did you know I was almost waking up? The coffee seems only just made."  
Frankie coloured.  
"After you fell asleep I stayed for a while. You know, thinking about stuff. I think I fell asleep, for the next thing I knew was when I half woke up in the middle of the night, still here. I just couldn't be bothered to go in the other room, so I just turned off the light and went back to sleep. I woke up maybe half an hour before you, got myself dressed and then did come and check if you were still asleep. So yeah, that's why."

She coloured again. She couldn't tell him all. Not about the strange sensations she had had when she was laying so close to him. She remembered his promise yesterday to not take advantage of her. The same applied the other way around. Especially because he had been basically unconscious. Next night she would sleep in the guest room!

Unaware of her thoughts he said: "Well, thank you!" And kissed her. "Much appreciated!"  
She smiled and then they both ate their breakfast. She noticed he was still under influence of the medication, so she decided to keep their conversation light.

Soon they were finished and after a shower Henry felt awake and energised.  
They decided to do some touristy things.  
The weather was cloudy and now and then it drizzled a bit.  
A perfect day for being a tourist on a Sunday, Henry said, for hopefully this would mean, there wouldn't be as many tourists around as usual.

**Chapter 21**

An hour later they walked to the tube station to take the underground towards Waterloo.  
There were still plenty of people around when they arrived at the South Bank area. But the queue at the London Eye wasn't too big, so they decided to give it a go. Frankie hadn't been inside before, so she was all excitement when they slowly went up, and could see far around all over the city. Henry enjoyed her enthusiasm and pointed at various things and buildings that might interest her.  
He'd been in various times before, but seeing it through Frankie's eyes made him appreciate more again.  
"Too bad you didn't take your camera today!" he said. "It would have made a nice montage again!"

She turned towards him. "I think tonight I will make another video. I haven't spoken properly to Will all week!" she sighed. "I have texted him though to say that I'm in London."  
When they were at the highest point, he asked: "Do you want to make a selfie?" she laughed surprised.  
"You know what? Since I've hardly touched my phone the last few days, I completely forgot about stuff like that! But it would be fun!"  
Henry got his phone out and stood behind Frankie, wrapping his arms around her. "Will this do?" he whispered in her ear. She giggled.  
"I guess."

They had a fun photo session with a lot of laughter.  
"You know what I have been meaning to ask you for a while now?" he said suddenly.  
"What is that?"  
"I was just wondering why I haven't seen you wearing my earrings anymore."  
Her eyes grew wide.  
"Your earrings?"  
He looked confused at her reaction.  
"Yeah, the ones I gave for your birthday."  
She put her hands in front of her mouth in utter surprise.

"But… but… Mary said they were her gift!" Her mouth was wide open in shock.  
"Really? Did she say that?" now it was his turn to be surprised.  
"Ooh! And she really insisted on me wearing them that night. I was so surprised as to why she would buy me such an expensive gift!"  
"Yeah, she sent me a photo of you wearing them. Listen," he then said. "Let me tell you how it went. You remember that I went to New York all of a sudden?" she nodded.  
"Well, before I left I asked Mary if she could give them to you for your birthday. I didn't dare to give them to you myself. I was afraid you wouldn't accept them! But Mary promised that you would wear them. She was so sure of it! She even told me that she knew you liked me but that you just didn't show it."

They sighed simultaneously.  
"Yeah she just told me it was her gift and indeed got me to wear them. Even though just after, Ed also gave me earrings as a present! Of course I'd rather had worn his, but Ed insisted I would wear the other ones. He was so surprised and happy that apparently he and Mary had had the same idea. So, but that wasn't exactly true then."  
"I'm sorry for the confusion I created!" Henry said. "But now that you know, will you wear them?"  
"I might." She smiled. "But you were right, I would never have accepted them back then if I had known they were from you!"  
Then she coloured. "They must have been expensive! I must admit they are beautiful, but they're hardly suitable for wearing every day." She looked up at him. "Sorry!"

He shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I know they are a bit too posh! I just wanted to show you back then that I was serious about my feelings for you! At least I'm glad you like them!" He decided to change the subject:  
"Now, pick a photo you like most!" he gave her his phone. "Am I allowed to put one on Twitter or so?"  
She coloured a bit shyly.  
"I guess you may. But you know I don't like to be in the spotlights! One is enough. After all, I assume many of our friends are dying to know about us." She laughed. "Will has been spamming me for news so badly that I threatened to block him. Luckily he relented."  
She chose a picture and Henry posted it on Twitter with the text: 'Enjoying London with my love!'  
Frankie smiled and rewarded him with a kiss.

When they got out of the London Eye, it had become much busier. Quickly they moved out of the way and soon were leaning against the wall, looking out over the Thames.  
"What do you want to do now?" Henry asked Frankie.  
"I don't know. What's there to choose from?"  
He summed up: "Well, to be really touristy, we could do a boat tour. Or we could go to the zoo. Or maybe Westminster Abbey? Or visit the Queen if she's home. Or just have a walk along the riverbank?"  
She laughed. "And that's all in walking distance then? Let's choose one of them. After all, there might come more occasions that I will be visiting London now and we need to keep some things for next time."

Henry smiled. He was glad that she seemed to like it enough here to be wanting to come back.  
They decided to cross Westminster bridge and see if it was very busy near the Palace. Unfortunately, from afar they could already see there were vast hordes of people outside the Palace. Frankie pulled a face.  
"Have these people not got something better to do or so?"  
He laughed. "I guess not. Do you still want to try to get closer? Or shall we just walk?"  
She looked at him. "I think I prefer the walk. Much nicer than having to wait in a crowd!" They turned around and walked back to the river and leisurely made their way around the banks.

"Do you think you will be able to go back to work tomorrow?" Frankie asked.  
"I think I have to try," said Henry. "My uncle wouldn't be happy if I took more time off."  
He sighed.  
"Please don't overdo it," Frankie warned. "If you're not fit enough, he has to respect that."  
Henry nodded. "I agree. But I guess it would help me to get some distraction anyway. So I better try. I guess you're going back to Mansfield tomorrow?" He sighed without realising.  
She nodded. "As long as you're sure you will be fine." She smiled.

He laughed cheekily at her. "If I say I won't be, will you believe me? I might just say that because I don't want you to go."  
She laughed. "Don't worry, I will know the difference." She looked in his eyes. "Somehow you have become an open book to me. So there's no way you can trick me."  
"And you to me," he looked at her with eyes full of love. They had to stop for a moment and their lips found each other.

"So, what do you read then?" Frankie asked – half joking, half serious – when she let go of him again.  
"Miss Price, are you flirting with me?" He laughed, but then got serious again. He looked deep into her eyes.  
"You don't want to stop kissing me, but you're a bit embarrassed, because people might see us." He said. She coloured deeply, at his accuracy. Then she said: "As about you… you don't mind it at all if people see us. You…" here she stopped and looked down all of a sudden.  
"Well, go on! What did you want to say?" His eyes twinkled, but his voice was tender. He cupped her face into his hands.

"I… I can't say," she stammered.  
"Why not, Franko?" He smiled.  
She looked really shy now. "I… don't know that many words."  
"I will translate what you're reading. It says: "Frankie Price, I love you so much and I never want to let you go anymore!" He tenderly kissed her again.

"Henry Crawford? And Miss Price?" They heard someone say all of a sudden. They let each other go and turned around.  
"Yates!" exclaimed Frankie. "Wow, that has been a while!"  
"Hey Yates," Henry said.  
"It certainly has been a while," Yates said. "And this certainly is a surprising sight!"  
Frankie blushed.

"How are you then?" asked Henry. "I heard you've been hanging out with Julia when she was here?"  
"Ah yes, Julia. Indeed, I have had the pleasure of her company quite often. But now with Tom's accident I haven't seen her since. Do you guys know how Tom is doing?"  
"He is still in hospital," Frankie said, "But he is improving and might be coming home soon."  
"Well, I am glad to hear that! Now, could I invite you guys for a drink? Taking time to catch up, so to say. Or are you in a hurry?" Yates pointed to a café nearby.

Henry first looked at Frankie and then said: "Yes that sounds like an idea!"  
Together they followed Yates to the outdoor seating area of the café.  
"So," Yates started again. "I didn't expect to see you here, eh, like that, especially you Frankie! I mean I have seen Henry a few times around. But it's good to see you!"

Frankie forced a smile. "Yeah, it's nice to see this city and discover what everyone is always going on about."  
"Yes, of course, of course! Well. And am I to congratulate you? Or were you re-enacting Lovers Vows?"  
This time Frankie almost gasped. Henry rolled with his eyes. This guy was incorrigible. And as pompous as always.  
"No offence to your writing, Yates. But it's not one of my best times, so I'd rather not talk about Lovers Vows." Henry forced himself to be polite.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend." Yates said, and he really seemed sorry.  
"Right, let's order something to drink. What would you like? Henry, fancy a pint? This place does have some amazing beers on the card!"  
"No thank you," Henry said. "I'd rather have a coke today. What about you, Frankie?"  
She nodded. "Me too please! Thank you Yates!"  
He looked a bit incredulous at Henry. "As you wish," he said and entered the building to get their drinks.

"Phew," Frankie said. "I had forgotten how, ehh, cringe-worthy he is sometimes."  
"I agree," said Henry. "We might go for a record of the most awkward moments in ten minutes." He grimaced. "But Frankie, don't let yourself get wound up. You know he means well."  
"I know," she sighed. Then she sat upright. "We can do this Henry." She gave him a fist bump in the air and laughed.

Henry decided that attack was the best form of defence, so when Yates came back he asked: "So, Yates, what have you been up to lately?" Yates liked to talk about himself, so he explained a new project he was working on, a one man show of Hamlet. The idea sounded so ridiculous that Henry had difficulty not to laugh. But Yates told that so far some people had actually enjoyed it. He said that Julia had been a great encourager and was his best supporter.

They chatted about Julia and slowly Henry could see, that Frankie was relaxing a bit as well and he had to admit that this encounter wasn't too bad in the end.  
Henry offered to buy a second round of drinks, but Yates declined.  
"I must be off now! Thank you for the offer and it was good to see you again!" He stood up from his chair and with a wave he was gone.

As soon as he was out of sight, Frankie started to laugh.  
"Sorry Henry," she managed to say. "I was just imagining his one-man show of Hamlet. But I guess that must be the weird and wonderful world of art." She laughed again and Henry totally agreed.  
Then he said: "Do you want to stay here a while longer or shall we move on?"  
"Well, if you're ok with it, then we could go on!"

Soon they were continuing their walk along the river.  
There was a lot to see and Frankie was enthusiastic about everything.  
Henry had never enjoyed a walk in the city centre so much as now.  
"Hey, that's from the song!" she exclaimed all of a sudden.  
"What? Oh, yes London Bridge."

Without a warning Henry was thrown back into the past, again.  
He heard his mum sing all those children's songs to him. Little Henry tried to sing along, but he was so little he didn't understand the words yet and couldn't keep the melody. Patiently his mother repeated the song again. And she applauded if he said a few words right. Often she would sing for him, when he was sad. All sorts of songs. It made him calm down when he was upset.  
He covered his eyes when he heard the lovely voice of his mum in his head.

He started to notice his surroundings again when he felt Frankie's arms around him. He sighed deep a few times.  
"My mum loved singing for us. Her singing always soothed me. Especially when I was upset!"  
He stared out over the water, while again Frankie's presence comforted him a bit.

"It is strange how the most random things can bring up those flashbacks. As I said last week, the memories themselves are not unpleasant, but the thing is, they sort of tend to hit me in the face with full strength. It really gets me out of balance. I do hope that psychiatrist can help me sort it all out." He sighed again and then felt recovered enough to walk on.

They managed to walk all the way to the Tower Bridge. There they found a little place where they ate some lunch.  
Then Henry said: "Since we both like beautiful views from high up, let's go up the Tower Bridge." Frankie consented and he bought tickets. They took the lift to the walkways on the bridge.

It wasn't as high as the London Eye of course, but the view over the Thames was magnificent. Henry was in his element, as the Bridge was one of the architectural and technical wonders of the city. He loved drawing it, so he even had it featured in his Architect Man comic.

When they finally left the Bridge, Henry felt quite drained again. He didn't want Frankie to know, for she really was enjoying their time. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't to be fooled.  
She casually asked: "So, where is the nearest tube station then? Let's leave the rest for the next time, ok?!"

They still had to walk to London Bridge Underground station, but they managed. Henry was glad to sit down in the tube although it was only for less than five minutes. They walked home from the tube station and Henry plopped straight on the sofa. Frankie got themselves a drink and then sat next to him.  
"Phew, I'm really tired as well!" she said. "I think we've walked quite a bit today!"  
He smiled. "Did you have a nice time?"  
She nodded. "Yes, definitely! Again, I am surprised at how much I like London! But then, it probably helps that you're with me! Thank you Henry!"  
"It was my pleasure Franko!" he smiled at her.

When they finished their drinks, Frankie stood up.  
"Is it alright if I make a video for Will now?"  
"Yeah sure! Do you want to use my room? I'll watch some TV in the meantime."  
She nodded. "Yes, I can do that. Would you like to join in later?"  
"If I don't fall asleep, then yes, I'd like that!"

Frankie went to get her camera. Henry turned on his phone and was then surprised about all the reactions he had on his photo on Twitter.  
"Frankie!" he called out to her.  
She appeared again. "What is it?"  
"Have you seen? Our Twitter sort of exploded! Look at all these reactions!"  
She sat next to him and he scrolled through them. Most reactions were positive, but some were downright hateful.  
Frankie's face fell, when she read some of them.  
Henry grimaced. "It sure is a good way to find out who your true friends actually are! Don't be too much offended by it. It's just jealousy, nothing personal against you I'm sure!" He put his arm around her shoulder and gently squeezed it.  
"Look at Will's reaction!" he pointed and they laughed.

"I'd better go and tell him the details!" she smiled, and got up once more to film.

_A.N. While I have read a little bit about the workings of sleeping medication, I have no experience, so what I've written is mainly my own interpretation._

_On another note: how do you like the 'earring discovery'? ;-)_


	8. Chapter 22-24

**Chapter 22**

When the camera was all set up, Frankie sat down and turned it on.

"Hi Will, I'm really sorry it took so long before I made another video. I know that - although you liked our Winchester montage - it wasn't sufficient for your curiosity to be satisfied. So today I'll hope to enlighten you a bit more!  
As I told you in my text, I'm in London since Friday.  
Although I'm not working this week, somehow time caught up with me and also, as I said in my text earlier this week, I wanted to avoid Social Media for a while. So yeah, again, I'm sorry.

First news about Tom, as you will want to know! I haven't seen him since Monday, but I understood he is doing quite well. He is improving and might be discharged this coming week hopefully! That will be a relief for the family as well, for they still try to be there every day, for most of the day, in turns. It is so good to see they seem to get closer as a family! Ed is here in London as well. He will be going back to work again tomorrow. As far as I know Rhea and Julia are at Mansfield. And I will be moving to the Antigua sometime this coming week. I only have to start the first of October, which gives me another week and a half. But I do want to get settled and get to know the place, before I start.

Now, before you explode… although, I know you've seen Twitter today, so it's not that new anymore…"

She felt her cheeks burn all of a sudden.  
"As I said, I'm in London, staying with the Crawfords. They got a lovely apartment and I feel quite at home here.  
The… reason why I'm here… I don't know how much I can say really.  
It is a fact that it was quite a sudden decision to come here on Friday. But, let's say it was really necessary. I know you're dying to know more. But because this is not about me, I feel I can't share it.  
One bit I can tell you though."

She was interrupted because the door opened.  
Her face lit up in a smile.  
"It's as if you knew your cue, Henry!"

He quickly sat next to her.  
"Why? Were you talking about me? Will must be getting tired of that. You're always talking about me." He gave her a mischievous smile.  
She coloured. "Please don't tease me!" But she couldn't help smiling back at him.  
"Sorry Will, for the interruption. This guy has just got impeccable timing!  
You know Henry here.  
But now I can introduce him to you as my boyfriend.  
God, that sounds weird still." She looked shyly at Henry, who looked amused.

"Hi Will," he said. "I hope you won't be too upset with this news. You know I think your sister the most amazing person in the world! But for some reason or other she told me she actually returns my feelings! You can imagine how happy I am." He looked really proud. Frankie squeezed his hand.

Then she said: "Will, you know how I don't really like talking about this sort of stuff. Suffice to say that I love him very much and really enjoy being with him! And I'll try not to disgust you with too much PDS." She laughed and turned to Henry, who looked quasi disappointed. But in his eyes she saw that he agreed with her. "I'd rather keep you all for myself," he whispered.

Then she hesitated.  
"Henry, I told Will that my coming here wasn't really planned, but I didn't tell the reason why. It's up to you if you want to explain more. If not, I will delete this and he won't know.  
He grimaced. "If it was just Will watching, I wouldn't mind at all, but we know other people see this. I will try and we can see later what could stay in and what not. Do you think that's ok?"  
"Of course! Again, you don't have to, you know! You could always tell in private if you wanted to, not necessarily on camera."  
"Ok, if this doesn't work, then that's a good option!

Right. Sorry Will. It's all just a bit weird. I don't like to talk about my problems, but I'll try. You might notice some cuts in the video. Or not. I just don't know.  
Anyway, here goes.  
Mary's and my mum died when I was eight years old. This was quite traumatic. But somehow I hadn't dealt with it properly, if at all, back then. I pushed it so far back, that I hardly ever thought about her and the whole situation.  
However, last week, seeing Tom in the hospital, somehow gave a shock and suddenly all sorts of memories started to come back, along with some horrible nightmares! Suffice to say I've had a pretty rough week with hardly any good sleep.  
By Friday I was absolutely exhausted and Mary told Frankie about that. So it was a nice surprise that she showed up on my doorstep that afternoon! We went to the GP and I got sleeping tablets at the moment and more help is on the way. So hopefully this will help me deal with it all!  
Frankie has been the most amazing help the past few days! I honestly don't know what I'd done without her!  
So that was my story." He turned to Frankie.

"You think that was ok?"  
She smiled. "That was very brave! I'm really proud of you!" She bent over to kiss him.  
Then she turned back to the camera.  
"Now, I think that's about it for today Will! Today we've been tourists and I really enjoyed going in the London Eye! We also walked along the Thames – and unexpectedly met with Yates, which was… interesting – and we went onto the Tower Bridge.  
London is spectacular I think! Hopefully one day you could come as well and we could have a lovely time together!  
Well, see you soon hopefully! From London with much Love!"

She moved to turn off the camera.  
"That's much nicer than 'from Mansfield with love!'" she laughed. "I love alliteration. For the sake of that we should at least do another one here."

She turned to Henry when he didn't say anything.  
Not again! She saw him sitting as frozen, apparently caught in another flashback. Quickly she moved towards him and embraced him. It was awful to see him like this. How she wished she could take it away from him! She almost cried.

Then his voice sounded as if it came from far.  
"I was about 7 I think and with Christmas I got to play in the nativity at school. I was all excited and had been practising for weeks at home. My mum had helped me memorise my lines, so when the day was there I knew it all very well. But when I was on that stage and saw all those people looking at me, I got scared. It took a while before I could start. Then I saw my mum on the second row. Her eyes were focused on me and I could see her whispering 'I love you' at me, as she always did. Then I wasn't afraid anymore and did my lines all very well. My mum said she was very proud of me!"

Now Henry seemed to see her again. He was back in the room.  
He sighed.  
"Maybe it's because I'm tired." He looked at his watch. "Maybe I should try to sleep a bit. But then, I don't want to miss a moment with you in the time you're still here!"  
"I'm not going anywhere!" Frankie said. "I've got earplugs. I can edit the video and you sleep here and now." He nodded and then lay down.  
She could see he was exhausted again. It took only minutes before he was fast asleep.

Quietly she got off the bed to get her laptop and was soon busy editing. She couldn't do everything yet, for she first wanted to make sure Henry was alright with his part of the message. So after a while she was finished for the moment and put her laptop away.  
Henry seemed to be sleeping quite peacefully. She yawned. Maybe it was nice to have a little nap as well.  
She stretched herself out and was soon asleep as well.

* * *

Henry woke up a bit disorientated. He looked at his watch. It was 5 o'clock. Why was he sleeping at this time of the day? Then he remembered that he had been very tired and the little nap had done him good!  
He sat up, and was very surprised to see Frankie next to him, also asleep. She must have been tired from their day in the city.  
He still couldn't believe all the things that had happened the past few days. He was still overwhelmed by the fact that she loved him. This was more than he had dared to hope!

He wryly thought about the fact that he got the results alright of the 'project' that he had started a few months ago, but it was far better and much different than he had anticipated. Not in the least because his own heart had been caught in the process. Now he couldn't imagine not to be in love with her. She was so precious to him and he felt very blessed and undeserving of her love.

Almost without realising he bent over and put a gentle kiss on her lips. She stirred and opened her eyes.  
"I feel like Snow-white." She said in a sleepy tone. "I could get used to waking up like this, every day!" She smiled. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Henry was surprised at her passion and soon forgot everything around him. She filled his whole mind.

They were disturbed by a knock on the door.  
"Henry, are you in there?" came Mary's voice.  
They quickly sat up, a bit embarrassed.  
"Yeah I'm here," he answered. He felt his cheeks burn. Then the door opened.  
Mary looked at them with a suspicious expression.  
"We were just talking," Henry said awkwardly.  
"Yeah, whatever," was Mary's response.  
"But I wanted to ask you something. Ed is gone to his own place. He wanted to prepare himself for tomorrow. And I'm bored. I thought I might do some cooking if you guys fancy a meal here."  
They both nodded.  
"That's a nice idea!" Frankie said. "Thank you Mary!"  
"Great, I'll start cooking then." With another suspicious look at them, she left the room.

Frankie looked at Henry. "Talking about awkward moments today."  
"Tell me about it!" was Henry's reply.  
"Henry?" she sounded very shy all of a sudden.  
"Yes, love?"  
"I have been thinking." She hesitated. "I don't really know how to talk about this."  
It dawned on him what she meant. He coloured a bit.  
For a moment that distracted her. She looked curious at him. "Are you blushing Henry Crawford?"  
His first instinct was to deny, but it was too obvious anyway.  
"Yes. I think I know what you're on about. And I never knew that would make me shy. But I have been thinking as well. On Friday I promised you I won't take advantage and I intend to keep my word."

She nodded. "This works both ways! I will promise you the same!" she blushed. "Last night I fell accidentally asleep here, but if you're sleeping fine anyway, I will sleep in the other room tonight, if you're ok with that. I don't want to rush anything. After all, we only just got together."  
"Yes, you're right!" he said. "It's maybe better to agree now that we will wait. I just don't want to ruin our relationship in the heat of the moment, so to say." She blushed again at his words.

He looked down a bit uncomfortable.  
"You probably don't want to hear this, and I'm not proud of it, but far too often I have taken advantage of a girl's willingness, just to satisfy my own desires. It was pure selfishness.  
I love you so much and I don't want to treat you the same as those girls. What we have is special and I don't want to mess that up." He sighed deeply, almost felt as if he had given a speech for a room full of people. He looked up into Frankie's loving eyes.

"Wow!" she said. "this makes me love you even more! I am so glad we think the same about this! It has made me a bit uncomfortable you know, knowing… well, you know… how you were before." She coloured.  
Henry smiled. "And I love you. But you know that already." He kissed her.

Then he said, to change the subject:  
"So have you finished editing yet?"  
Frankie bent over to get her laptop from the bedside table.  
"No, not yet," she said. "I need your help with this."

She showed him how far she had gotten with it. He felt embarrassed when he heard himself speak again. For a moment he wanted to ask if she could just delete it! But then he remembered that with another video last week, he had told Frankie that if she was open and honest in her videos, then he would be too. After a bit of tweaking they decided it was fine and put it online.

"Phew," Frankie said. "I almost feel a bit shaky now! To have shared all this with the world."  
He nodded and passed his hand over his face, fully realising what that meant.  
"Wow, I now start to realise how you must have felt when Suzy told you your videos were public. A very scary thought!"  
She took his hand in hers. "Are you sure you're ok?"  
He sighed. "I think so."

A shout came from the kitchen. Dinner was ready.  
Frankie closed her laptop and Henry followed her out of the room.  
Mary had made a delicious meal. However, she seemed a bit quiet. Not quite herself.  
"What's the matter Mares?" Henry asked.  
"I don't know really," she said. "I feel restless, but I don't know why. I guess I miss having Ed around."  
To distract her, they told about their little tour in the city centre and about their meeting with Yates.  
Unfortunately, this didn't seem to help.  
They sat a while and ate in silence.  
"You know," Mary started all of a sudden. "I never thought I'd say this but, I envy your relationship you know!"  
Henry almost laughed when he saw Frankie roll her eyes in exasperation.  
"Seriously? How many people have said that already! I don't know what's so special about us!"  
Mary looked incredulous. "Really? Well, let me try to explain. You're just the most unlikely couple to exist! Six months ago no one would have put you two together. Yet you both have changed a lot over the past weeks and now it seems to just work or so. I don't know how you do it!"

Frankie coloured.  
"Well, I guess, if you put it that way. But I'd rather you wouldn't observe us. Everyone is different and every relationship is different I think. What works for some people, doesn't necessarily work for others.  
You know I don't really like attention, so I hope you will cease to pay more attention than I feel comfortable with." She sighed. "Sorry Mary, but it just makes me uncomfortable."  
"I understand," said Mary.  
They finished their meal and all together they tidied up.

Soon after that, Henry said: "Well, I don't know what your plans are ladies, but I think I'm going to sleep. If I'm going to work tomorrow, then the medication has to have worn off at least a bit before that. So I guess it's better if I take one now and sleep."  
Before he walked off, he mouthed at Frankie "Five minutes". She nodded.  
Indeed, five minutes later there was a knock on the door.  
Frankie took her place next to him on the bed again.  
"How are you doing?" she asked, while she took his hand in hers.  
"I think I'm alright. It's weird to have had a nap in the afternoon and still go to sleep early in the evening, but with that stuff I will be sleeping anyway. I will miss you though."  
"No you won't," she said wryly. "You wouldn't notice whether or not I was here. But I would... So yeah, as I said, I will be sleeping next door."  
He smiled and then kissed her passionately.  
They chatted a bit longer until the medicine started to work again.  
After another loving kiss, he slept.

**Chapter 23**

Frankie looked at him for a bit longer, but then got up, turned off the light and left the room.

Mary greeted her with: "I hadn't thought I'd see you back tonight."  
Frankie shrugged.  
"Why ever not?"  
"Well, you know…" was the reply.  
"No," her tone was firm. "Henry is completely knocked out by that medicine. He won't know a thing until tomorrow morning."  
"I see," was Mary's reply.  
They chatted and watched some TV until bedtime.

Before she went to sleep she checked her phone. There was a message from Will.  
'Saw your video. Thank you for that! Can I call you tomorrow?'  
She replied back. 'Or now, if you're still awake…'  
Immediately her phone rang.  
"You're so predictable Will," she said when she answered the call.  
"I know, I know," came Will's voice. "But, congratulations little sister! I'm really happy for you!"  
She smiled. "Thank you brother! Me too!"  
"I just knew you would end up together," was his reply.  
Frankie was surprised.  
"What? Why is that?"  
"Well, maybe not 'knew'; it's more that I hoped for it. I'd seen you suffer too long with your unrequited love for Ed. I really hoped Henry would be able to capture your heart. You deserve to be loved, Franks!"  
"Thanks, I guess?" Frankie answered.

He continued: "I mean, in the beginning I wasn't sure, because of his previous behaviour and I saw your doubts and confusion. But later on I really started to think it might be something that would really work!"  
"Well, I'm glad you're looking after me!"  
"I try, I try!" He changed the subject.

"So how is Henry now? I was quite shocked about what he told!"  
Frankie sighed. "I guess at the moment he is fine. Those sleeping tablets definitely help! It looks so weird though, when they start to work. It's like he's zoning out little by little until he's completely off the world! But I'm glad they work! Friday I was so shocked when I saw him. I didn't know what sleep deprivation could do. And then the extreme fear for those nightmares. They must be horrible. At least he hasn't got that now."

"Well, let me know how it goes! And, Franks, please take good care of yourself as well!"  
"I'll try, Will! Good night for now. Love you!"  
"Love you too, sis. Talk to you soon!"  
They hung up and soon Frankie was fast asleep.

She was woken up by something brushing over her lips. She opened her eyes and found Henry's face above hers.  
"Good morning, love." He gently kissed her again.  
"Hey Henry." She smiled and then sat up, making some space for Henry to sit down next to her.  
"How are you today?"  
"Really well, thanks! I feel like I've caught up with the sleep I had lost. I even went for a run already! Not at 5 o'clock though." He smiled.  
"I only just came back, but it was nice! Now, would you like some breakfast?"

He quickly got out of the room and was back in an instant with a tray.  
"Henry Crawford, you never cease to amaze me!" she kissed him.  
They had their breakfast again together and after Frankie had got dressed it was time for Henry to go to work.  
"Are you leaving for Mansfield straight away?" he asked. "If you want to, you could stay here as long as you like! I'm sorry I can't offer you a lift!"  
"Don't worry. I'll find my way!"  
Henry told her which tube to take to get to London Waterloo and from there to take the train in the direction of Mansfield.

Frankie walked with Henry and Mary to the office.  
Saying goodbye again was very difficult. They embraced each other as long as they could.  
"Please let me know when you've arrived at Mansfield," Henry said. He held her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes.  
"I love you! Please come back soon!" he kissed her.  
"And I love you! Take care! And we'll talk later!"  
One last look and Henry was gone into the building.

Frankie found her way to the Underground and soon was on her way to Mansfield. She would have found it a bit scary, this journey, for it was the first time. But her thoughts were so occupied by Henry, that she hardly noticed her surroundings.  
In the beginning of the afternoon she arrived back at Mansfield.

**Chapter 24**

The week flew past with packing her belongings, saying goodbye to Mansfield and long phone calls with Henry. On Wednesday Mr Bertram brought her to the Antigua as promised. The place was so different from Mansfield, but soon Frankie found she liked it! She was also happy to discover she knew some of the staff already there, which helped to not feel totally lost in a new place.  
The rest of the day and Thursday she used to get settled, to get the feel of the place and to see a bit of the area.

On Thursday evening she told Henry enthusiastically about the new place and how she liked it. However, Henry seemed a bit distracted. Sometimes he didn't seem to hear what she was saying.  
"Henry? Are you ok? You seem distracted!"  
"Huh? No I'm ok, just a bit tired I think." She could hear from his voice that he wasn't telling all.  
"Henry, what's wrong?" worry sounded through her voice.  
He hesitated. "It's nothing! Just…" Then it dawned on her.  
"Is it because tonight is your last sleeping tablet?"  
"Yep!" he sighed deeply.  
"Love, I know you're scared. But I am sure you will be fine! Hang in there, ok?!" She wanted to say more, but wasn't sure what to say. She didn't think he would take in much of what she said. She decided that she might try to get to London tomorrow. She wasn't sure how he would cope alone.  
"I have to go now," she said. "Please take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid, ok?!"  
"I'll try." He sounded very tired. "Love you!"

They hung up. Frankie felt quite worried by now.  
She checked online how she could get to London the following day. She was glad to discover the journey was less complicated and was actually shorter from the Antigua, compared to travelling from Mansfield.  
She decided to ring Mary.  
"Hi Mary, I hope I'm not disturbing you!"  
"Hey Frankie, don't worry. I'm at Ed's and we're watching TV, nothing special. What's up?"

Frankie hesitated.  
"It's about Henry. We just had our daily phone call and he seemed off. I'm quite sure it has to do with the fact that tonight he will have the last of his sleeping medication. I'm just a bit worried about tomorrow. I am going to try to get there somehow, but I'm not sure if I can. I haven't said anything about it to Henry, because I don't want to give him false hope.  
I just wanted to ask you if you could keep an eye on him. I'm just not sure how he is going to cope, if at all."  
Mary agreed. "I will keep an eye on him! And let me know when you think you'll be arriving. I could pick you up from the station!"  
"What about your work? I can't ask that of you!"  
"Don't worry Frankie. I'm offering. Our office gives us quite a lot of freedom as to our work-hours. As long as they're done, it doesn't matter what time of the day. Except for meetings of course."

Frankie sighed. "Alright then. I'll let you know. And will you let me know how he's doing?"  
"I promise! Oh, by the way, Ed says hi!"  
Frankie smiled.  
"Say hi back to him."  
Mary replied: "He's asking how you like the Antigua. And me too actually."  
They chatted for a while on speakerphone until it was time to go to sleep.  
"Well, I probably see you tomorrow! Bye!"  
They hung up.

Frankie decided she would try to leave for London at about midday the next day, to get there before Henry would be finished at work.  
She missed him terribly and it didn't help that she was really worried about him right now.  
She decided to go to bed. But it took a while to actually fall asleep.

At about ten o'clock the next morning, Mary called.  
"Frankie, you asked me to tell you if there was something with Henry."  
Frankie felt fear grip her heart.  
"Yes? What's wrong?"  
"Well, as you asked, I kept an eye on him this morning. It was almost as if it was the old Henry again, you know, the jerk. I asked how he was doing and he kept saying he was fine and when I doubted that, he became almost hostile. He left for the office at usual time, but when I arrived there a bit later, he looked much worse. I became even more worried when I caught him with a bottle of whiskey, that by then wasn't full anymore and he already seemed quite drunk. I'm afraid I told him off. He wasn't impressed!"

Frankie covered her face with one hand.  
'Oh Henry, what are you doing to yourself!' she thought.

"Thanks for telling me this Mary. Do you think you can get him back home? I'm sure he won't be of any use at work now."  
Mary agreed. "I'll try. I can always ask my uncle to persuade him."  
"Please do! I'm leaving now and should be there in less than two hours I hope. Let me know when you're home. I'll ring Henry myself and try to talk some sense into him!"

They hung up and Frankie had to sit down for a moment. She sighed deeply. She had dreaded this would happen. Since waking up this morning she had had the nagging feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.  
Then she got herself back together and rushed to pack a bag and 5 minutes later left the house.

She had only just sat down in the train when she had another phone call from Mary.  
"How is he doing? Are you home?" she couldn't hide the anxiety that she felt from her voice.  
"We're home. Of course I took away his bottle. Suffice to say that Henry wasn't very happy about that. But at the moment he seems ok. He calmed down I think, although I can see he is quite drunk."  
"How much did he drink exactly do you think?"

Mary seemed to be checking. "Not that much I think. But maybe he's had something else before." She paused a moment. "Come to think of it: this is quite weird. Usually he would hardly be tipsy from this amount of alcohol. But he looks as if he's had already two bottles. Do you think it's because of the medication?"  
"The medication!" exclaimed Frankie. "He's not supposed to have alcohol for a certain amount of time after taking that medicine! I am not liking this at all! Would you mind looking for the box and the instructions please? It might still be on his bedside table or already in the bin. I'm waiting for your answer!"

She could here Mary scrambling about. "Ah yes, it's still next to his bed. What do you want me to do?"  
"Could you read out for me please? All of it! I'm sure I won't like hearing it. But it's probably necessary to know!"  
Mary read the whole thing out loud. And the further she read, the more worried Frankie became.  
"Thanks Mary. Can you see how he is doing at the moment?"  
"He's still sitting on the sofa, staring into nothing it seems."  
"Does he talk?" she heard Mary ask a question and Henry's slow answer.  
"Ok Mary, here is what we need to do, if you agree! I am calling him to see how he reacts. Could you meanwhile ring 111 or the GP or so? Just to ask for advice on this. It's just that I have got a very bad feeling about all this! His behaviour doesn't sound like his normal self at all. At least not from since the time I know him."

"You're right," came Mary's answer. "Although I have seen him in drunken state before, but this is not normal!"  
They hung up again after Mary had promised to ring back when she had more information from 111.

Frankie called Henry. After three rings he answered the phone.  
"Frankie?" He sounded a bit anxious.  
"Henry! You ok?"  
His voice slurred. "Hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think so."  
"Henry! I spoke with Mary and she's told what's going on. What have you gotten yourself into, love?" she asked tenderly.  
"Sorry Frankie! I just can't face it anymore at the moment!"  
"We'll face it together ok? I'm on my way now and I will be there soon!"

He didn't react.  
"Henry? You're still there?"  
"Yeah," came the reply.  
"As I said, I'm on my way! May I ask you something?"  
"Sure!"  
"Henry, do you know how much you have been drinking?" she tried to choose her words carefully.  
"Eh, don't know. I think just that whiskey."  
"No more?"  
"Not as far as I remember."  
She quietly exhaled. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

"Listen Henry, I have to go now. The train is almost at the station. I just want to say, I have asked Mary to keep an eye on you. Would you please let her? She cares for you. As do I! Ok?!"  
He promised and then she said goodbye. "I love you Henry!"

As soon as she had put down the phone, Mary called again.  
"I think your call had some good effect on him, as far as I could see!" she began.  
"I'm glad to hear that!" was Frankie's reply.  
"Now, I've had contact with 111." Mary continued.  
"They asked a lot of questions. Like what his 'symptoms' are, or so. I told as much as I knew. They told me to let him drink a lot of water. They also said to keep a close eye on him. So far there's no need yet to get a doctor. But they told me what to look out for as to signs that it's going wrong. And if it would go wrong we shouldn't hesitate then to call emergency services."  
"Good to know! Listen, I'm getting off the train right now. I need to take a bus and I think I should be there in about twenty minutes." Frankie stood up and walked towards the doors.  
"Ok, see you in a bit!"

The bus couldn't go fast enough for Frankie. She was anxious to get to Henry. She was almost running when she got to their street. Mary opened the door.  
Frankie was almost out of breath, when she asked: "How is he doing?"  
Mary embraced her. "Not much change I think."

Frankie stood still in the door opening for a moment, when her eyes reached the figure of Henry, sitting slouching on the sofa. Her heart hurt. In an instant she was next to him and embraced him tightly.  
"Henry, I missed you!"  
She noticed his efforts to return the embrace.  
"Frankie! You're really here!" She couldn't help herself but kissed his face all over.  
When she pulled back, the band of fear around her heart seemed to tighten still. His appearance scared her.  
"Henry, how are you doing?"  
His answer came slowly. "I don't know. I'm too tired to think!" Then suddenly his head shot up. "But please don't make me sleep!" The fright was visible in his eyes.

"I won't. But what can we do to make you feel better? Do you think you could eat something? Would that help?"  
"Food? No thank you." He pulled a disgusted face. "I don't feel like eating anything."  
Frankie turned to Mary who stood nearby, not really knowing what to do.  
"Do you know what usually helps when he has a hangover? We need to try something! This lethargic state scares me."

Mary shrugged. "If he doesn't want to eat, I don't know."  
Frankie sighed deeply. She didn't know what to do. For a while she sat with her arm around Henry. When she had come in, she had noticed he seemed relieved to see her.  
Right now, no emotions were visible on his face.

Then a few things happened in rapid succession! First she noticed Henry nodding off; then she felt him panic because of it. His eyes widened, his heart-rate, that had been really low, shot up and then he was sick all over her, before he became all limp in her arms when he passed out.

Frankie had difficulty to keep him from falling over. She felt panic washing all over her.

"Henry! Henry! Wake up! Can you hear me?" Not heeding the fact that they were both dirty she took his face in her hands as far as she was able and kissed him almost frantically. "Henry, please wake up. Henry!"

"Mary, please ring 999. His heart-rate is all over the place."

When she didn't get a quick response she turned to see Mary as frozen, looking at them.

"Mary!"

_A.N. As I said before, I read a little bit about sleeping medication and the fact that it doesn't go well with alcohol. I read it enhances the sedative working, so slows down your heart-rate even more. At first I made Henry's heart-rate go up, but I guess that's medically not possible. Instead, I've made it unstable, adding his panic. I hope I wrote it believable enough._


	9. Chapter 25-27

**Chapter 25**

_Henry's pov_

Henry had been glad the medication worked so well. Soon he felt he was back on his normal energy level. The only problem was, it seemed that since there was no space for nightmares, the flashbacks seemed to increase in frequency and intensity. He also noticed they weren't necessarily linked to what happened at the moment, like before. They came suddenly and brought him out of balance completely. It was really embarrassing when it happened during a meeting. His uncle had asked a few times if he was alright.  
He hadn't really known what to answer. He always felt intimidated by his uncle, so he tried to avoid him as much as possible.

He hadn't mentioned it to Frankie during their calls. He didn't want to worry her. He missed her terribly, but their phone conversations were pleasant! It was good to hear her voice. He noticed how all day he was looking forward to their conversation. They would chat for a while, until he had to take his medication and then they talked until he passed out.

On Thursday morning Henry started to feel uncomfortable. During the day this grew into fear. Today was his last day of medication. Tomorrow he would need to do it by himself again. The thought of it terrified him. He never had made as many mistakes in his design drafts as now. On top of that he had many flashbacks during the day. By the time he came home he was exhausted. At 8 o'clock he was in bed already. During his phone call with Frankie he could hardly concentrate. She was telling about the Antigua, but he had to admit that he hardly took in what she was saying.

Of course she noticed.  
"Henry? Are you ok? You seem distracted!"  
"Huh? No I'm ok, just a bit tired I think." He just couldn't get himself to tell all.  
"Henry, what's wrong?" worry sounded through her voice.  
He hesitated. "It's nothing! Just…"  
"Is it because tonight is your last sleeping tablet?" There was no hiding from her!  
"Yep!" he sighed deeply.  
"Love, I know you're scared. But I am sure you will be fine! Hang in there, ok?!  
I have to go now," she said. "Please take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid, ok?!" He was a bit comforted by what she said!  
"I'll try," was all he could say. "Love you!"  
With a deep sigh he took the last sleeping tablet, but he was already asleep before it kicked in!

The next morning, as soon as he was fully awake, the sense of dread filled his whole mind. It made him feel nauseous, so besides a coffee he didn't feel like eating anything at breakfast.  
Mary looked curious at him. "Are you alright?" she asked.  
"Fine!" he said sharp. She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Really? You don't look it!"

"If I say fine, I mean fine!" he growled. "Just back off ok?! Mind your own business." He could see she was shocked at his answer. He felt a pang of guilt. She meant well. But he just wasn't in the mood right now to explain! He quickly turned around and a little bit later walked out of the door. "Where are you going?" Mary called after him.  
"To work, where else?" he shouted back.

He quickly made his way towards the office. He hoped his work might give him some distraction. But, who was he fooling? he thought. Yesterday it hadn't helped, nor any other day!  
When he walked past a local convenience store, he popped in to get something for lunch.  
Henry hadn't intended to, but he found himself in the booze aisle. Maybe he could buy something strong. It might numb his feelings a bit. Just a bit would do no harm. He chose something random with high alcohol percentage so it would work fast enough.  
Only just outside of the shop he opened his bottle of whiskey, to take a sip. He felt it burn down his throat. That felt good! It had been a few weeks since he had had any alcohol. He took another sip and it seemed to start working already.  
A bit more confident he walked towards the office and soon he was at his desk, trying to work. But just could not concentrate. His fear still seemed to increase. He took another sip.

Then Mary walked in. "Henry, I'm looking for… what the heck are you doing?"  
He sighed.  
"Nothing, I just need a little bit. To calm my mind. Don't worry."  
"Henry, you stop right now! Do you really think this works? I thought you had changed. Can't you see how stupid this is? Do you think Frankie would be happy to see this?" Mary sounded really angry.

"I don't care," was his answer. "I need this and that's my own choice." His own words stung him. In fact, he did care what Frankie thought. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. But he almost felt he couldn't go back now. He took another sip before Mary snatched the bottle away.

"Stop being a stupid idiot! Start thinking about other people instead of just yourself! I won't let you drink yourself to death."  
Henry's anger flared. How dare she do this to him? But when he got up to get his bottle back, he found himself very unsteady on his feet. He swayed a bit before he had to sit back down. The room was spinning. He was surprised at how quick the alcohol had started to work!

He rubbed his eyes and hardly noticed that Mary left the room.  
He startled when she came back in again. He hadn't moved at all.  
"Come Henry," she said. "I'm getting you home! You're not fit for work today."  
He wanted to protest, but didn't have the energy. He let her take him by the arm and slowly they made their way out. Their walk home was all a blur to Henry. All of a sudden he found himself sitting on the sofa at home.

He could hear Mary on the phone in his bedroom, but he didn't register anything she was saying.  
Then she called him out of his stupor.  
"Henry, do you know what time it is?"  
What time? What does she want with the time?  
But he looked at his watch and tried to focus on the numbers. He told her the time and she seemed satisfied.

He hardly registered anything else happening around him until his phone rang. His fingers didn't want to cooperate to get it out of his pocket, but eventually he managed. It was Frankie.  
"Frankie?" He said anxiously.  
"Henry! You ok?" she sounded worried.  
His voice slurred when he spoke. "Hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think so."  
"Henry! I spoke with Mary and she told me what's going on. What have you gotten yourself into, love?" Her voice was so tender and loving and full of concern. It made him sigh deeply.

"Sorry Frankie! I just can't face it anymore at the moment!" he felt the despair deep inside him.  
"We'll face it together ok? I'm on my way now and I will be there soon!"  
He didn't react.  
"Henry? You're still there?"  
"Yeah," he replied.  
"As I said, I'm on my way! May I ask you something?" On her way? Here? That would be good! She always managed to calm him down! What did she say again? Did she want to ask something?  
"Sure!" he answered.  
"Henry, do you know how much you have been drinking?" What did she mean? She wasn't telling him off. It seemed she just wanted to know the facts. He tried to think, which was difficult. His brain seemed muffled.  
"Eh, don't know. I think just that whiskey."  
"No more?"  
"Not as far as I remember."  
He heard her sigh.  
"Listen Henry, I have to go now. The train is almost at the station. I just want to say, I have asked Mary to keep an eye on you. Would you please let her? She cares for you. As do I! Ok?!"  
She was really almost coming! Oh, and that's why Mary was so interested? Alright then, he would, for Frankie. "Ok, I will!"  
"See you in a bit! I love you Henry!"

Henry felt exhausted when he put away his phone.  
He wasn't sleeping, but he wasn't really awake either.  
Then he was aroused a bit, when all of a sudden Frankie was there. He felt her arms tightly around him.

"Henry, I missed you!" she said.  
He tried to answer her embrace, but his arms were so heavy he only managed to put his hands on her hips, before they slid off again.  
"Frankie! You're really here!" He was relieved. Then he felt her lips on his and then she kissed also the rest of his face. That felt good.  
She pulled away a bit.  
"Henry, how are you doing?" she asked him.  
His brain didn't really correspond well with his mouth. He had difficulty speaking. "I don't know. I'm too tired to think!" Then suddenly his head shot up. "But please don't make me sleep!" The fear had managed to slip through his lethargy. He felt its grip tightening around his chest.  
She answered reassuringly: "I won't. But what can we do to make you feel better? Do you think you could eat something? Would that help?"  
"Food? No thank you." He pulled a disgusted face. "I don't feel like eating anything." The thought of food made him feel sick.  
Then he vaguely heard Frankie ask Mary if she knew what could help with his hangover. He didn't hear the answer.  
Frankie's arm was still around him and it did comfort him, but he felt too weak to say so.

All of a sudden he noticed he was falling asleep. No! Not that! His head jerked up. The band around his chest tightened more. He could hear his heart loudly beating in his ears. His stomach turned. Before he realised it, he was throwing up. Then everything was black and he knew nothing anymore.

**Chapter 26**

_Back to Frankie_

Frankie tried again with urgency in her voice:  
"Mary, please!"  
Finally, Mary seemed to hear her.  
"Right. 999. But what do I need to say?"  
"I think they ask questions. Just tell them what happened."

Frankie breathed deeply a few times, trying to stop panicking. She needed to think what to do now. She couldn't let go of Henry, because he would collapse. Carefully she tried to manoeuvre him in a better position. Meanwhile she kept calling his name, but there was no response.

She could hear Mary telling over the phone what had happened.  
She was then relieved to hear the ambulance was on its way.  
Mary's voice sounded a bit strange. "It is a good thing the ambulance post is just around the corner." She swallowed when she said it.  
"I'm calling Ed!"  
Mary sounded very anxious:  
"Ed? Sorry that I'm calling you when you're working. But it's Henry. He just passed out and I'm very scared. Please could you come quickly?... "Yeah Frankie is here as well… "We've called the ambulance… "Let me know when you're on your way. We'll hopefully be on our way to the hospital then… "Love you too!"

"He's coming." She sounded a bit relieved.  
Frankie swallowed. "That's good! Mary, could you please get some water and a cloth? I need to try to clean us up a bit." She didn't realise that she was crying.  
When Mary came back with a wet cloth, they could hear the ambulance in the street.  
Carefully she cleaned Henry's face. He didn't react, but she still could feel his irregular pulse. "Please Henry, wake up! Don't go. I love you! Henry!"

She heard the door open and suddenly they were surrounded by ambulance people. They asked questions about what happened and any other details, while they quickly checked Henry's vitals.  
"Sorry madam, could you move out of the way a bit? We need to stabilise him."

Frankie let herself be moved away. She sunk down onto the other sofa. She felt overwhelmed with fear and hurt. Mary sat next to her and they embraced each other.  
Frankie couldn't help herself. "Please Henry! Please live!" she continued to repeat.  
"I feel like I'm ripped apart. It literally hurts!" she cried.

Her eyes didn't leave Henry's face which she could see just between the ambulance people. After endless minutes one of them said: "Right, he is stabilised as far as we are able to do here. We're now getting him to the hospital. There is space for both of you if you want to come."  
The other man was talking through his microphone, giving instructions.  
"Could you get some clean clothes for him? We'll get him into the ambulance."  
Mary and Frankie both stood up and Mary got into Henry's bedroom to get some clothes. She came back with an extra shirt.  
"Here Frankie, you might need to change as well. Quickly." She gently pushed Frankie towards the door and put the t-shirt in her hands.  
Frankie felt she was leaving Henry alone, but she did realise she needed something clean on. Quickly she got her own top off and put on Henry's. Her eyes flooded with tears when she smelled his scent.

Things happened in a blur. Soon they were in the ambulance on their way. Frankie held Henry's hand as if it was his only lifeline. She could feel his heartbeat was still very irregular. But at least it was beating. The medical people had put him an oxygen mask on to aid his breathing.  
Although he was unconscious, Frankie registered his body was shaking sometimes.  
She was overwhelmed by her emotions, the biggest being the fear to lose him. She tried not think about that, tried to calm herself with the thoughts that in the hospital they would look after him and he would be fine again. But the fear kept creeping back into her mind.  
She held his hand with both of her own. Silently she was pleading with him to come back, to come around again.

Somehow her thoughts went to the things Henry had told her about his mum. She was touched by the fact how much the woman had loved her children.  
Then she remembered how Henry had told her about his mum always telling him that God loved him. And his strange reasoning, almost saying that God must be real! Because he couldn't bear the thought that his mum would have been deceived.

Almost without realising she silently started to pray. 'God if you really exist, please let Henry live! His mum always told him that you love him. Please, please let him live! Please!'  
"Please," she whispered, overcome by her emotions.  
Slowly she noticed a slight difference in Henry. He stopped shaking and she felt his heart-rate started to go back to almost normal. Looking at his face, somehow he looked more relaxed.  
Unable to interpret this change, she cried. "Let him live, please!" she whispered.

In the hospital things happened fast. Henry was brought away to be examined and treated. Frankie felt the pain of the separation almost physically. Together with Mary they sat down in some chairs, after they were told to wait for news. Frankie had never felt so terrible. All her thoughts were focused on Henry.

She was startled when Mary's phone rang.  
It was Ed, asking where they were.  
After Mary's explanation he soon arrived. He quickly walked towards them. First he embraced Mary and then Frankie. All three stood together, arms around each other. The girls were crying.  
Then Ed asked:  
"So, what exactly happened? How is Henry doing?"  
Frankie couldn't speak. Mary told him all.  
"That's… horrible. I'm so sorry to hear this! How have you two been keeping up?" Concern sounded in his voice.  
Mary answered: "I think I'm just about holding it together! But Frankie has been very brave! Somehow she just knew what to do!"  
They both looked at Frankie.

But Frankie didn't feel brave at all.  
"I'm not brave! I'm terrified. It feels like half of me is ripped away! It literally hurts!" she started sobbing again, feeling awful.  
Two pairs of arms were around her.  
"We're here for you!" Ed whispered.  
She nodded gratefully. She couldn't speak. Then she felt she had to sit down, her energy drained.

**Chapter 27**

_Henry_

Henry heard lots of voices mumbling. He couldn't make out what they were saying. It was very disturbing. Was he dreaming? He tried to wake up, but he couldn't move. He couldn't open his eyes. Panic flooded over him. Then he heard rushing water, so loud that he thought he was drowning.  
This time he managed to move a bit, but it didn't help. It only seemed to make the water rush faster. His fear grew. His felt like he was trapped in a nightmare without the ability to wake up.

Suddenly he heard a voice above the noise of the voices and the water. He recognised it as Frankie's. He could clearly hear her words. What was she saying? Was she praying? "God if you really exist, please let Henry live!" he heard her say. "His mum always told him that you love him. Please, please let him live! Please!" Desperation sounded through her words.  
He was strangely calmed by it.

Then he heard another clear voice, one that he didn't know, but sounded full of love: "Henry, I love you! Don't be afraid. I'm with you!"  
Henry found he could reply, although he wasn't sure he was talking out loud, but the voice seemed to hear it anyway. "But I am so scared!"  
The voice reassured him again. "Don't be afraid Henry. I am here with you. I love you!"

Henry calmed down, his fear slowly subsided, as the voice kept repeating the same words over and over. The other voices stopped, the water stopped rushing. For the first in a very long time, Henry felt peace! He fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Henry woke up, but felt too weak to even open his eyes. He heard voices.  
"His heart-rate is back to normal."  
"That's good. And just in time. He might not have survived it."  
"What about his blood levels?"  
"Still traces of the alcohol and the medication. But it will have to leave on itself with time. Other medication might worsen it again."

Again he tried to open his eyes. With difficulty he managed a bit.  
Then someone touched his face.  
"Let's see if he's still unconscious." One of his eyes was opened and a bright light was directed at it.  
He whimpered and frantically fluttered his eyes.  
"I think he is coming around," he heard someone say. Then: "Mr Crawford, can you hear me?"  
He tried to answer, but his body didn't obey his brain.  
With some difficulty he opened his eyes again briefly.  
The light around him was bright so again he blinked a few times.  
Someone was looking at him.  
He managed to move his head a little bit.  
"Can you hear me Mr Crawford?" the stranger asked again.  
He moved his head again.  
"Are you able to say something?" He tried again, but didn't succeed. He moved his head sideways.  
Somehow he didn't have the strength to do more.  
Before he realised he had fallen asleep again.

Next time he woke up, he managed to open his eyes with some more ease. He turned his head to look around him. He was in a hospital it seemed. That explained the distinct smell.  
Someone walked towards him.  
"Hello Mr Crawford. Are you awake again?"  
He tried to say something but still couldn't form words yet.  
He slowly nodded.  
"How are you feeling?"  
He had to think about that question. He wasn't sure how he felt, other than very heavy and tired. Talking just seemed too much effort.

Frankie would be able to help, he thought all of a sudden. Where was she? He scanned the room but couldn't see her.  
"Frankie?" he managed to say.  
The woman looked surprised.  
"Excuse me? What did you say?"  
"Frankie," he tried harder. "Where… is… Frankie?"  
"Is that one of the ladies that came with you?"  
He wasn't sure. Then he remembered hearing her voice in what he thought was a dream. Maybe she had been there.  
He nodded.  
"Right, I will go and get her."  
The woman walked out of the door.

Henry closed his eyes again. When he opened them once more, he was very relieved to see Frankie next to him. She held his hand tightly in hers. But she was looking down. He moved his fingers and her eyes shot up in surprise.  
"Henry?" She looked exhausted, but a tired smile lit up her whole face.  
"Frankie!" he said.  
She bent over and took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"How are you doing?" she asked anxiously.  
It took him a lot of effort: "I… don't know. Tired… Heavy."  
"Are you in any pain?" was her anxious enquiry.  
He shook his head. She looked relieved.  
"What… happened?" he asked. A shadow fell over her face.

"Henry, you… drank alcohol while still having the sleeping medication in your system. I think it nearly killed you." She swallowed hard and tears ran over her face. He caressed her hand with his fingers.

"I'm… still here. Just… feeling weak, but I'm… not going anywhere." He smiled. She bent over to kiss him again and he was able to answer her kiss. The kiss was very intense as if all angst and fear was expressed through it.

"I love you Henry!" Her voice was raw with emotion. "I love you too!"

Then he closed his eyes again, too tired to keep them open.

_A.N I'm no expert in hospital matters either. So again a warning that what you read above is all my own invention _


	10. Chapter 28-30

**Chapter 28**

Frankie felt so overwhelmed when she sat down. She had never been so afraid of anything. She understood a bit how Henry felt in his fear for his nightmares. Only, this was real. This was a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

She hardly noticed it when Ed and Mary sat next to her. Her mind was totally focused on Henry. With her mind's eye she could still see his face when he was taken away to be examined. He looked like he was asleep. It made her think of those two nights last week where she had been next to him, observing him while he was sleeping. Her heart ached.

She was startled out of her thoughts when Ed asked:  
"Is there anything we can help you with? Do you want me to phone Will maybe?"  
Without thinking she nodded. All of a sudden she wished her brother was here! She longed for his comfort.  
The next moment she was handed over Ed's phone.  
"Will?" she asked anxiously.  
"Frankie? Is that you? What's wrong? Why are you calling me on Ed's phone?"  
She started crying uncontrollably. "It's Henry," she managed.

"What is it? Is something wrong with him?" she could hear the worry in Will's voice.  
"We're in the hospital! Will, I'm so scared! I don't want him to die!" she couldn't speak any further.

She gave the phone back to Ed.  
"Will? It's Ed!" she heard him say.  
Then she heard him explain what happened. He listened for a moment. "Would you be willing to do that? I think she would really appreciate that… "Yes, it sure will take time, what with weekend traffic and all… "Take care and let us know when you're arriving… "I will. See you!"

He put his phone back in Frankie's hands.  
"Franks?" she heard Will once more. "I'm coming! It might be a while because of traffic, but I will be there!"  
She was surprised.  
"But Will, what about your work?"  
"Sod my work," he said. "You and Henry are more important. I want to stand with you, help you if I can."  
"Thank you Will!" she was moved. "Be safe on your way!"  
"I'll be careful. Now, hang in there ok? Henry is going to be ok! They're looking after him! Love you and see you in about two hours or so."  
"Love you too Will and thank you!"  
She sighed when she gave the phone back to Ed.  
She felt a bit relieved, knowing that her brother was on his way. He had always supported her and she needed his support right now!

After a while someone walked towards them.  
"Are you the relatives of Mr Crawford?" and when they nodded:  
"We are glad to say that Mr Crawford's heart-rate is back to normal. His vitals seem good, although the substances are still in his blood. They should make their way out naturally. He was awake very briefly but seems very weak still. We continue to monitor him closely until we're sure the substances don't form a risk anymore.  
We'll inform you when you can visit him."  
Frankie sighed with relief. Was the worst over now? She hoped it with all her might. For the first time in a while she got up, feeling she had to move a bit. She paced the room, impatient for the announcement that they may see Henry.

Ten minutes later her wait was rewarded. A nurse walked towards them.  
"Who of you is called Frankie?" Frankie looked up in surprise.  
"That's me! Why?"  
"Mr Crawford asked for you. So if you would follow me please."  
She didn't notice the smile on Ed and Mary's face when she eagerly followed the lady.

Seeing Henry in a hospital bed like that, she couldn't help thinking first about Tom and then about Henry's mum and about the nightmares he had told her about.  
She hardly noticed the warning of the nurse to "Be careful. He is very weak still!"  
In an instant she was next to him, grabbing his hand.  
"Henry?" She looked at his face.  
She was a bit disappointed that he was not awake.

Anxiously eyeing every detail of his face she noticed how peaceful it was. His chest went up and down in a steady rhythm, nothing like the irregularities from earlier on. She couldn't help but put her free hand right there, as if to ensure herself that he really was breathing.  
The feeling of his beating heart, brought tears to her eyes. She had been so scared to lose him, it was a strange comfort to actually feel him alive.

He was still asleep though. And his hand felt limp. The nurse had said he was very weak.  
She sighed deeply and looked down.

Suddenly she felt something! Henry's hand moved in hers. She looked up in surprise.  
"Henry?" She couldn't help but smile, seeing him looking at her.  
"Frankie!" he said with a slow voice.  
She bent over and took his face in her hands and kissed him.  
"How are you doing?" she asked anxiously.

He seemed to have a lot of difficulty to speak: "I… don't know. Tired… Heavy."  
"Are you in any pain?" was her anxious enquiry.  
He shook his head. She was relieved about that!  
"What… happened?" he asked.  
Her face darkened when recalling everything that had happened that day.

"Henry, you… drank alcohol while still having the sleeping medication in your system. I think it nearly killed you." She swallowed hard and tears ran over her face. The fear was not gone yet.  
She noticed his fingers were caressing her hand.  
"I'm… still here. Just… feeling weak, but I'm… not going anywhere." He smiled. How glad she was to see that smile back.  
She couldn't help but bend over to kiss him again and she was surprised to feel him answering her kiss. Somehow it felt very intense, but not because of passion. Her fears were slowly melting away.

"I love you Henry!" Her voice was raw with emotion. He answered in a whisper: "I love you too!"  
Then he closed his eyes again, seemingly too tired to keep them open.

She sat with Henry while he slept, his hand still in hers.  
The stress and anxiety melting away, she felt exhausted. The last couple of hours she had been on adrenaline and now that was gone, she wanted to sleep.

How thankful she was that Henry was still alive and recovering. She knew all was not over yet. She thought about his appointment with the psychiatrist on the following Tuesday. She wondered if he would physically be recovered well enough to be able to enter into what undoubtedly would be an emotionally draining process. But Henry had to decide for himself if he would be ready for that.

Then there were the nightmares. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully now, but what about at night? And the following night? He was likely not allowed to have more sleeping tablets. She understood how petrified he must have been today, and yesterday for that matter.  
From the past few months she knew he used to drink a lot. She remembered how drunk he had been at Rhea and Rory's wedding. Yet, as far as she knew, since Tom's accident he hadn't drunk much at all. She thought of how he had told her how it pained him to see how much he was alike to his father, mentioning the drinking and becoming drunk to escape problems as one of the similarities.  
He had changed certainly! But she could understand very well why this morning he had tried to numb his fears by drinking. He knew from the past that it worked. There was no way she could, or wanted to, blame him for his behaviour. She had seen his utter desperation.

She wondered if it could have been prevented in any way.  
If she had been present it might. But, as much as she wished to not have to leave him, it was inevitable they would be separate for times. She had her own life after all.  
And as much as she wished she never had to leave him ever again, she had to look practically at the situation. They only had been together for a few weeks now and, although the circumstances had, in a way, sped up the way their relationship was, it was just not realistic to abandon her own life and plans and wishes to be with Henry; neither could she ask the same of him.

Besides, although through said circumstances and crises they had connected in such a deep level – so much that it felt as if they had been together for years – there was still a lot that could grow in their relationship. She longed to learn everything about him, from little things, like his favourite colour, to, for example, his opinions on politics. She grimaced, even that indeed.  
She hoped that they soon would reach calmer waters, to leisurely get to know each other better.  
For now, she definitely wanted to be with him and to stand next to him. She couldn't bear to leave him struggling by himself.

Now she was looking back on this day, she came to realise how she truly and totally loved this man. In her despair she had mentioned it a few times that she felt as if a part of herself was torn away.  
She had sometimes read in novels about people saying that and had always laughed a bit and thought it was highly exaggerated.  
But the pain had been real and agonising.

Without noticing she had nodded off a bit, leaning her head on the bed.  
She was roused however when a door opened and Will entered.  
Her face lit up. He quickly bridged the space between them and embraced her as tightly as was possible.  
"Franks, how are you? How is Henry?"  
She carefully put Henry's hand on the bed before she turned fully around to return his embrace.  
"Will, I'm so glad you're here!" Tears were flowing from her eyes again.  
"I think… Henry is doing a bit better. They keep monitoring him. He's been awake a bit and we have talked a bit. But he's very weak still.  
Oh Will I have been so scared. I really thought he might die." Saying it filled her once more with dread. She turned around where Henry was peacefully sleeping.

"Will," she whispered. "I love him so much. I can't bear the thought of having to go through life without him in it."  
Will squeezed her. "Frankie I'm so sorry you have to go through this!" She silently cried for a while in her brother's arms.  
Suddenly he started to sniff. She looked up.  
"What's that smell?" he asked with a disgusted face.  
"Smell? You're in a hospital."  
"No, that's not it. It's as if I smell… sick."  
Frankie smirked. "I have ceased to smell it. Having other things on my mind. But, this morning Henry was sick all over me. Of course I haven't had time to change other than a different top."  
Will pulled back.  
"I see," he grimaced. "That's not yours is it?" she looked down and felt tears coming up again.  
"Mary gave it for me to put on. It's Henry's."  
"Do you want to get changed?" he asked.  
"I don't want to leave him! And I haven't got clothes here. My bag is somewhere at home I think… I mean, at the Crawford's home."  
Will nodded slowly.  
"Do you know what the plans are? I assume Henry will have to stay the night."  
Frankie sighed. "I don't know about plans. Henry has to stay indeed. And I won't leave him."  
"I understand. Don't worry. I won't drag you away! However, I do think we need to go and see Ed and Mary and see what they want."

Frankie put her hand in front of her open mouth.  
"I forgot about them. How bad!" she coloured.  
"Poor Mary, I deprived her of having some time with her brother! How awful!"  
Will tried to calm her. "I'm sure she understands! Now, they're just outside. We do need to talk."  
Frankie hesitated. She took Henry's hand once more. Then she kissed it. "I'll be back soon," she whispered, although she didn't know if he would hear. Just in case.  
Then she walked after Will out of the door.  
With a little smile he said. "I hardly recognise you sister!"  
"What do you mean?" she asked.  
"You've turned into a piece of fluff, dear Frankie."  
She grimaced. "Please don't tease me today." But she couldn't help smiling a little bit. Had she really? She needed to think about that later.

Ed and Mary were waiting.  
Frankie walked towards Mary and embraced her. "I'm so sorry Mary, that I didn't give you the chance to be with Henry. I feel really bad, but I just forgot."  
A little smile appeared on Mary's face. "I understand, Frankie. Don't worry about it. How is he doing?"  
"He's asleep now. We briefly talked earlier on. He had difficulty speaking and said he was just really tired and felt heavy."  
Mary looked relieved.

Will seemed to take the lead.  
"So, Mary needs some time with her brother. Frankie really needs a change of clothes, but…"  
"I'm not leaving," she interrupted.  
"I know," said Will. "I am willing to go and get you some clothes, but I don't know where the house is of course."  
"I'll go," Ed replied.  
That seemed to be the best option. After detailed instructions from Mary about where he could find what, Ed left.  
Mary went to sit with Henry. And Will pulled Frankie to sit next to him in the corridor.

"So Frankie, how are you doing then?"  
She still wasn't sure how she felt.  
"Well, I'm exhausted and the rest of my emotions are in such a turmoil I don't really know."  
"What are they then, those emotions that make up your turmoil?" He had to laugh at her face.  
"Well the first one right now would be annoyance at my brother who is asking too many questions that are too difficult for my tired brain to handle." She grimaced.  
Then she tried to explain the mixture of worry, fear and relief that she felt.

When Will was satisfied, he asked about the Antigua.  
Frankie welcomed the distraction and told him about the hotel, the area and about her new colleagues.  
"It's really different from Mansfield but I think I will like it! Please come and visit when you have time!"  
"I will," was his answer. "You start on Thursday right?"  
"Yes that's the plan. I hope Henry will have recovered enough by then. I wouldn't want to leave him if he's still feeling awful. But we'll see how it goes!"

They chatted about Will's work, about Portsmouth and Suzy. Will had been hanging out with her a few times the last few weeks. "Just as friends," he said. "She seems a nice girl." Frankie looked a bit incredulous at him. "Just a nice girl?"  
Will coloured just a little bit.  
"Yes, a nice girl. May we please become friends first?" he grimaced.  
"Alright, alright. I won't interfere." She laughed. "At least I'll try not to."  
"Just keep your nose out ok?"  
"Yeah, like you've done all the time, right?!"  
"Franks, I did that because I care for you ok?!"

"And I care for you, so that's not an excuse." She replied. "Besides, I'm just now wondering how exactly it showed your care for me, when you asked me all those weird questions – that whole list, remember? - like whether Henry has a six-pack or not."  
Will had a mischievous look on his face now. "So what is the answer to that question? And don't tell me you don't know, because you're blushing like a teenage girl."  
Frankie's face felt like it was on fire.  
"That's not fair Will. Stop teasing. Why would you want to know anyway?"  
But Will wouldn't relent.  
At last Frankie gave up. "Yes, he has. Happy now?" She turned around, still blushing.  
Then she sighed.  
"I'm gonna see how he's doing." She stood up and walked towards the door.

**Chapter 29**

Henry woke up and saw Mary sitting next to him.  
"Hello sis," he said.  
"Henry! Good to see you're awake! How's it going?" He could hear a hint of worry in her voice.  
"Better… I think." He looked around. "Where is… Frankie?"  
Mary pointed to the door.  
"Out there. Will's here. I'm sure she'll be back here soon."  
He nodded slowly. "Good!" then he said. "Did I… scare you… much?"  
Mary raised her eyebrows.  
"Quite a bit, thank you. Maybe you should stop getting into trouble?" She sounded a bit sharp, but Henry knew that she was concerned about him.  
"Sorry Mares, I'll try my best. How is Frankie doing? I think… I've frightened… her a bit." Henry noticed that speaking did become a bit easier.  
"I think you've scared her to death. But nonetheless she has been so strong! I think you're very lucky to have her!"  
Henry nodded. That was for sure! He felt bad for making her worry about him.

The door opened and Frankie looking hesitantly towards them.  
Henry saw her countenance change when she saw him awake. Quickly she walked towards them. She bent over to kiss him. "Good to see you awake, love!" she whispered. "How are you doing?"  
He smiled. "Much better, now you're here!" She rolled with her eyes, but only a little bit. "But seriously, I do feel better!"  
"Your speech is better!" she smiled.  
"I've recited Dream keeper in my head, that's why." His eyes twinkled. She laughed.  
Mary cleared her throat.

The door opened again and Will came in.  
"Good to see you, Will!" Henry said.  
"You too," was the reply. "Although next time you should choose another venue."  
"Will," was Frankie's warning voice.  
"But how are you then Henry? Feeling a bit better?"  
Henry nodded. "Yes I do, thank God. But I'm surprised to see you here! Were you in the area?"  
"If Portsmouth is still 'in the area' then yes." Was the answer. "But Ed asked me to come. Frankie needed her brother."  
Henry smiled. "Thank you for that. I'm so sorry for causing all this trouble!"

He turned to Frankie. "I'm so sorry Frankie! You warned me and I didn't listen. I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain!"  
Frankie took his hand. "It's ok," she said. "No, it's not ok, but there's nothing to be sorry for! I can totally understand why you did what you did! I don't blame you! I don't wish to have this day repeated, but it has made me understand how I completely and utterly love you, Henry Crawford!"  
He was truly moved by her words. How he loved this woman! He reached to embrace her. "And I totally love you Frankie Price!" he whispered in her ear.

This time Will coughed.  
"Ahem, just so you know, you're not alone here!"  
Henry looked towards him and just caught a wink towards Mary, who had to laugh.  
"You know Mary, Franks promised me to keep her PDS to a minimum, but she's failing badly, don't you think?"  
"Shut up Will," Frankie said.  
Will laughed. "Make me, sister. I told you you've turned into a piece of fluff."

Henry was amused at Frankie's colour. She didn't know what to reply, but her eyes said all.  
"Sorry Franks. I'll try to behave. But I am enjoying this!"  
Frankie's eyes flamed. "Wait until you and Suzy get together! How I will mock you! With all your PDS."  
"Come on sister, no need to get all worked up."  
Henry smiled at their sibling teasing. He had enjoyed seeing them together a few months ago, when Will was visiting. They had such a close relationship.  
It made him a bit jealous. He looked at Mary. Surely he loved her, but he'd never been there for her like Will for Frankie. Maybe that should change.

He noticed his energy was nearly gone.  
He squeezed Frankie's hand lightly. She looked at him.  
"Sorry Henry, I think Will was too loud wasn't he?" she winked at him and he smiled back at her.  
Will started to protest, but Frankie silenced him with one look.  
"Mary," she said, "do you think Ed's almost back here?"  
"I don't know," Mary said. "It's Friday afternoon after all. Probably lots of traffic. Usually the distance would be doable in about fifteen minutes or so, but I think it will take him a bit longer now." She stood up. "I'll check with him on the phone." Then walked out of the door.  
Will also walked towards the door. "I'm sorry I was a bit noisy. You might need some quiet now."

Frankie sighed.  
"Sorry about that."  
Henry smiled.  
"Don't be sorry. It was funny! By the way, I thought it was called PDA?"  
She laughed. "I always call it PDS. Public display of smoochyness."  
"I love that. That's exactly what it is by most people."

Then he sighed. "Sorry love, I'm feeling rather tired again."  
She nodded. "I know. Sleep well!" She kissed him as he closed his eyes.  
Soon he drifted off to sleep again, the last thing he noticed was her fingers caressing his hand.

Frankie stayed with him until Will came to tell that Ed had arrived with her clothes.  
Everyone looked at her when she walked out.  
"He's asleep if that's what you want to know." That seemed to be the right answer, because they nodded and then Ed gave her her bag. She found a bathroom and quickly washed herself a bit and changed into other clothes. She hadn't realised that she was quite dirty. She grimaced. It must have been quite smelly.  
She felt a bit refreshed when she walked back.  
Although feeling tired, she was mainly relieved at the fact that Henry was definitely improving. They had to keep him for the night because of the nature of his problems. But she was sure he would be able to come back home the following day.  
Will had gotten some food and soon they were eating and chatting. Frankie was mostly quiet and tried to listen. But most of her thoughts were with Henry.

Later in the evening the nurses removed Henry's medication.  
The others had decided to go home for the night. The next morning, they would come back to see if they could take Henry home.  
Frankie was grateful for the book that was in her bag. When Henry was awake, they talked and when he slept, she read.  
She wasn't sure how the night would go. Being very tired, sleeping on a chair was not really comfortable, but she did not want to leave Henry alone.  
Frankie was so tired, she soon fell asleep, despite the discomfort of the chair. Henry slept quite peacefully through the night.

**Chapter 30**

They woke up more or less at the same time, Frankie very stiff and sore, but she felt reasonably rested.  
Henry was surprised at the fact he had slept the whole night without any interruptions.  
After some breakfast, Henry was examined again and got green light to go home that morning.  
He had still some difficulty walking, but slowly they made their way to the hospital entrance where they were picked up by Will.  
"Wow, I feel like an old man," Henry laughed when they finally got into the car. Somehow getting there had exhausted him already.  
Frankie squeezed his hand.  
"I won't expect you to run a marathon tomorrow!" she smiled.  
"I'm glad about that," he answered. "This already feels like a marathon at the moment."

Back home Henry collapsed on the sofa. The others seemed glad to see them.  
After about half an hour chatting, Henry couldn't keep up anymore. He slowly got up and to his bed.  
He sighed deeply when he sat down.

It was awful to feel so weak. It made him feel insecure.  
He didn't want to admit it, but he did feel a bit intimidated by Will. Last time, at Mansfield, it had made him almost feel incompetent. He had wanted to change, to make Frankie feel proud of him, just as she was of Will. Shortly after that he had escaped to New York, because he couldn't handle not feeling like himself anymore.  
Change was painful, but it was a good thing. He remembered his determination to become a better person, for Frankie. But he had realised later that he also wanted to become better for himself.

He suddenly remembered Frankie had been filming when they had talked about Will.  
With some difficulty he stood up and got his laptop. He hoped he could find the video, curious about what her reaction was.  
He almost got tears in his eyes, when he saw how worried she looked at him. At the time he had been so absolved in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed her reaction. He was especially moved when he saw her hand moving, clearly wanting to comfort him. But he had been blind for that at the time and had left, trying to clear his mind. Which had proved totally futile and had resulted in his going to New York.

Frankie knocked on the door and walked in.  
"Not sleeping?" she asked.  
"No, I was thinking."  
"Ooh, dangerous," she joked. "About what then? I can see it's quite serious."  
She sat next to him and then saw the video he had been watching and looked very surprised.  
"What is the matter? Why are you watching this video?"  
He turned slightly around.

"Frankie, you're such an amazing person! I think back then, you didn't really like me, and yet you were so caring! I can see your worry. I only wish I had seen it right at that moment. It might have changed a few things." He stopped and hesitated.  
"I don't really know how to say this. Or if I want to talk to you about it." He hesitated again.  
"Come on, spill it!" she smiled encouragingly.

"It's just… I hate feeling weak! Not just physically, but, I know this sounds weird. But seeing Will always makes me feel a bit inferior or so. That's why I watched this video, because that's what I felt back then." He sighed. "I know it's stupid."

"Henry, stop with that!" Frankie fully turned towards him now. "Firstly, no person can always be strong! Feeling weak sometimes, can help you build character. Also pretending you're always strong wears a person out. You've tried that before. But only once you'd started to make yourself vulnerable, you showed who you really are and that was when I started to like you more!  
Secondly, I know Will looks up to you, actually! And, please stay who you are! You're not Will and it would be weird if you were more like him. I love Will because he's my brother and he is his unique self! And I love you because of who you are, unique and special! Please don't try to become someone you're not!" She kissed him. "Your strength will be back soon, don't worry!"

He returned her kiss.  
"What would I do without you?" he smiled. "Thanks for your wise council."  
"Wise?" she scoffed. "But I'm glad it helped." She got up and took his laptop from him, while he lay down.  
"Sleep well, love!" she said and then walked out of the door.  
Henry followed her with his eyes.  
His last thought before he fell asleep was about how lucky he was that she wanted to be with him!

Frankie found only Will in the living room.  
Ed and Mary had gone out to do some shopping and then they would pop by Ed's school for he had to do some work.  
Absentmindedly she sat next to Will on the sofa.  
Without knowing she sighed deep.

She wasn't sure what to think. She was amazed at Henry's vulnerability to actually talk about his weaknesses. But it must be very complicated for a guy, always having to be strong.  
She started to understand a little bit more why, those months back, he had felt the need to show off. Maybe without knowing he had felt insecure and had to compensate that.  
She almost laughed. And they said women were complicated beings.

Only then she realised Will was talking to her.  
"So sorry Will. I was thinking."  
"Yeah, I could see that. You didn't hear that I asked you three times if you slept any in the hospital? But maybe that's why you didn't hear."  
"Three times? Really? Anyway, yes I did manage to sleep in the hospital, but it was quite uncomfortable, so I do feel a bit stiff. A good night of sleep in a normal bed, should do the trick though. Or a shower!" She suddenly thought. A nice hot shower would be nice!  
"Excuse me, Will," she said and got up without delay to look through her bag for some clothes and then went into the bathroom.

The hot shower did her good. Her neck felt less stiff and finally she felt really clean and fresh.  
She felt quite at home in this place, so she didn't think it weird to put the washing machine on. Her and Henry's clothes were still dirty from the day before, so it would be good to get them clean.  
When she finally got back out again, Will was engrossed with a film on television.  
After getting a drink for both, she sat again next to him.  
"So Will, how are you? Did you sleep alright here? Thank you again for coming! I really needed that!"  
"And I'm glad that I was able to come! That I wasn't somewhere out at sea or so! But yeah, I'm doing fine and I did sleep just fine! It was also nice to hang out with Mary and Ed. They seem to have improved in their relationship. Did you not mention something about that?"

Frankie nodded. "Tom's accident seems to have had a positive influence - if you can say that - on them and they seem closer than ever before. I think Mary has realised that there's more important things in life than complaining about Ed's choice of profession and she's said he should do what he loves to do. That's the thing I'm most glad about you know! Because from the beginning that has been such an obstacle between them."

Will nodded. "So, and how are you feeling now about Ed?"  
Frankie was silent for such a while that Will started to repeat his question.  
Then she said: "To be honest, I haven't been thinking much about him lately. You understand I've been a bit busy recently you know." She smiled a little.

"Especially yesterday I realised that Henry deserves my whole heart and that he in fact does have it all! That pain I felt yesterday, seeing him like that, and the idea that he could die, made me realise it. I've never experienced something like that before! As if he was part of my body and was suddenly ripped away! That's how it felt!

In the beginning I might have compared him and Ed. But they are very different and the situation is totally different. Ed will always be special to me, but Henry," she coloured, "is so much more.  
Sorry Will, for the fluff, but you did ask me, after all!"  
Will was unusually quiet. "Thank you for telling me that!" he said at last. "I know you find it difficult to talk about your feelings."  
Frankie look a bit insecure all of a sudden. "Do you not find me too rash?"  
"Why would you be too rash?" asked Will. "I know it has only been a few weeks, but I also know that once you make up your mind about something, you're going for it a hundred percent and you mean what you say!"  
Frankie nodded, a bit relieved.

"You know, 'this'," she gestured in the air, "almost happened upside down. Yes, I have known Henry for quite a while but it's different when you're not really interested in a person yet. But these past weeks the way, I guess, our relationship evolved has almost been from the other end." She coloured slightly. "We started off with crises and a lot of seriousness. We have been supporting each other in difficult moments, in a way that we – by lack of a better word – connected on soul level. Because of that, it feels as if we're together for years already. But on the other hand, there hasn't really been yet a period of dating so to say, to get to know each other better first in a casual way or so."  
Frankie sighed. It felt weird to talk so much about her feelings. But Will was a good listener and she knew he would support her in anything.

They were disturbed by Will getting a text message.  
"It's Suzy! Oh I forgot to tell her that I won't be there tonight! We were supposed to go out, you know."  
"Please Will, I'm not entirely sure how many details I would want her to know. You know she can be a bit nosy. And I'm definitely not making a video about what happened yesterday."  
"But Franks, she cares about you! You can't leave her entirely in the dark!"  
"I know," Frankie said. "Maybe just tell her that you're in London with me because something has happened. I will try and ring her in the next few days or so to explain more."  
Will agreed reluctantly. "But promise me to call her! I hold you to it!"  
"Ok, I will!" was her answer.

"Now, were Ed and Mary planning to come back for lunch or so? Although I have to admit I feel quite at home here, it feels a bit weird to raid their kitchen in their absence. I don't know for how long Henry will be sleeping. I'm sure they won't mind, but still."  
Here Will had to laugh. "I'm quite sure they're not seeing you as a guest anymore!" his eyes twinkled. "But, unless you're famished, we could wait until either Ed and Mary return or Henry wakes up."  
"Hmm," Frankie had to think for a moment. "I am starving. At the hospital all we got was a croissant and a cup of coffee for breakfast, so not that much. But I'll check on Henry first and then we can make some lunch!"

She stood up and made her way to Henry's bedroom. She knocked but didn't get a response. Carefully she opened the door a little bit and saw Henry still fast asleep. She withstood the urge to tiptoe in and reorganise the duvet which had slipped off slightly. Instead she closed the door again and walked towards the kitchen. "Still asleep," she informed Will.  
She made some simple sandwiches with what she could find in the fridge and coffee from the espresso machine.  
They sat at the kitchen table and chatted while eating.

Then Henry walked in. "I thought I smelled coffee!" he said while he yawned. Frankie thought he still looked a bit sleepy, but other than that he seemed a lot better.  
She stood up and after a quick kiss said. "Want some lunch as well?" He accepted and she made some sandwiches for him. Five minutes later Henry also had his lunch and his coffee.  
"Had a good sleep?" she casually asked.  
"Yes definitely!" he smiled. "I had almost forgotten what it is like to sleep undisturbed." His face darkened. "I just hope tonight will be ok as well. The night always seems a bit scary." He blushed when he looked at Will. He clearly wasn't comfortable sharing that in Will's presence. But Will acted as if it was something entirely normal and started a monologue about how he had once read about a scientific proof as to why problems and fears seemed always bigger in the dark.  
They then had a lighthearted conversation about sleep-related problems in general and Frankie could see how Henry relaxed again. She loved how her brother didn't avoid difficult topics but knew how to talk about them in such a way that it became totally natural for people to speak about them.

They were nearly finished when Ed and Mary came back and filled the kitchen with groceries. "So you guys didn't wait for us to have lunch then?" Mary teased.  
"Well, we were starving and we didn't know whether you would come back for lunch," was Frankie's reply. She stood up.  
"Here, you have your lunch. We'll sort out the shopping." She set to work and with the occasional directions from either Mary or Henry, she managed to put all the groceries away.  
Will then offered to wash up, while Frankie and Henry went to the living room.

By now it was Frankie who was tired. Henry sat on the sofa and Frankie nestled in his arms, enjoying the warmth and the closeness. "So what have you been up to then, when I was asleep?" He whispered in her ear.  
"Not much, really," was her reply. "Chatted with Will, had a shower, did some laundry and that's about it."  
She tried to turn her head towards him, but felt how her neck was still sore. She moved her head around a bit, but it didn't help.  
"A bit stiff?" asked Henry.  
"Yeah, sleeping on a chair is not very comfortable." She grimaced.  
He moved his arms to put his hands in her neck.  
"Too stubborn to go home like the others, weren't you?!" he teased.

Slowly he started to knead the muscles in her shoulders and neck.  
"Well, someone ought to keep you company! I figured I could do that." She said lighthearted.  
"And very much appreciated!" His hands stopped for a moment and then his breath was in her neck, followed by a soft kiss on her shoulder. She shifted.  
"That tickles!" She laughed a bit.  
"Are you ticklish?" he asked mischievously.  
"Not telling you!" She giggled when he started trying, first with another kiss on her other shoulder, then in her neck, then his hands moved to her sides. She started to wriggle, but it didn't really help, she was firmly held in place.  
"Henry! Stop!" she tried, but couldn't stop laughing.  
She caught his hands and tried to remove them. Slightly moving them, she managed to get up from her place. She did her best to look stern. "I will find revenge! Please be sure of that."  
He laughed. "I'll look forward to that," was his reply. "Where are you going?"  
"I'm in need of an afternoon nap, but if you keep teasing I won't be able to sleep."  
Henry raised his hands in surrender.  
"Alright, I'll rein myself in. Come and sit down again." His eyes still twinkled.  
She sat down tentatively. "You're sure?" she asked. "Maybe I should go to bed."  
"No, don't worry. I'll behave myself."

She returned to her previous position and they chatted relaxed about all sorts of things. They could hear the others still talking in the kitchen.  
Frankie soon couldn't stop yawning.  
"If I don't answer or if I talk crap, I might have fallen asleep," she said lazily.  
Henry laughed. "Don't worry. I don't mind holding a monologue."

She leaned back against him and felt his heart beating strongly. "I'm so happy!" she said.  
"About what?" Henry asked. "That you're alive," she said simply. "Your heart was doing all sorts of weird things yesterday. I am glad to hear it beating normally." She sighed contently and saw his smile from the corner of her eyes.

At the moment she didn't wish for anything else in life!  
"I love you," she whispered. "And I you," was his reply.  
She felt herself doze off while Henry was gently caressing her arms.  
Then she slept.

_A.N I hope you're still enjoying the story._


	11. Chapter 31-33

**Chapter 31**

Henry felt something similar. Frankie was the best thing that happened to him in ages, or ever, maybe. This treasure in his arms he never wanted to let go of anymore.  
He tried not to move, so as not to wake her up, but he couldn't resist to put a kiss on her forehead.  
The TV was on for some reason but he wasn't interested in the programme. Observing Frankie was far more interesting. Seeing her sleep made him feel very peaceful.  
Suddenly chattering became louder as the kitchen door opened. He turned towards the noise and managed to put his finger on his mouth.  
"Shh, Frankie's asleep."  
Three pairs of eyes looked amused at the idyllic scene on the sofa.  
"Make sure you don't break her," Will said it lightheartedly, but Henry could hear an undertone of seriousness in it.  
"Don't worry, I'll be careful," he laughed, but he made sure Will could see that he understood the meaning behind it. He nodded towards Frankie's brother, who smiled back.

They managed to find something more interesting to watch on TV and meanwhile happily chatted away.  
Henry only now and then added something to the conversation. It was difficult to concentrate with Frankie in his arms.  
He didn't know that he had nodded off, until he was suddenly startled by Mary who asked if he wanted a drink.  
He opened his eyes a bit confused and nodded. Frankie was stirring and also opened her eyes. She looked a bit disorientated. Then they looked each other in the eyes and smiled.  
She sat up and Henry almost felt it as a loss.

Mary came back from the kitchen with some drinks. "Henry?" she asked. "I was going to use the washing machine, but your stuff is still in it. Are you able to hang it out yourself?"  
He was really surprised.  
"My washing? I can't remember doing any!"  
"I did," came Frankie's reply. She blushed a bit. "I noticed this morning our clothes were still smelly from yesterday, you know. So I figured I could do some laundry. Sorry, I had totally forgotten about it." She looked down, a bit uncertain.  
"Ah, don't worry, Franks, it's ok!" Mary said. "I'll hang it, you stay there. Just be careful!" The last thing she said in a playful tone.  
"What for?" Frankie looked puzzled at her.  
"Well, try not to spoil Henry too much, or he'll do nothing anymore." She winked.  
Frankie glanced at him.  
"Sis, thank you for pointing out my weaknesses for everyone to hear," was his sarcastic comment, but unfortunately Mary wasn't impressed. She ignored him and continued:  
"When we first got this place from our uncle I made it clear to Henry that I wasn't going to clean up after his arse. He has been doing quite alright so far, although you know how messy he can be."

Henry was a bit irritated by now. Until Frankie took his hand and quietly winked at him.  
"Don't worry about that Mary. Although he knows I am a cleaner by profession I trust that your brother," she smiled at him, "would never take advantage of that. I'll teach him a thing or two."  
Now she fully laughed at Henry's discomforted face. "Don't worry love, we'll take our time." She smiled mischievously.  
Mary laughed at them when she walked out to get on with the laundry. Ed and Will looked a bit puzzled as to what was so funny about doing the laundry.  
Henry was bewildered at what just went on. He didn't understand what Frankie was on about. (Much later he started to understand that Frankie was definitely not someone for traditional role division. Instead they would do most chores together, which was much nicer anyway.)

It was like a new side of her he was discovering. After all, she was a woman and if Mary - or Rhea and Julia, he thought unwillingly – were anything to go by then there were more complexities that he would not understand.  
This brought on a new train of thoughts. Of course he knew she was a woman, and the most beautiful one in his opinion. It was difficult enough sometimes to keep his eyes from her. But he now sort of realised that her way of thinking was also different from his. He had known that unconsciously, hence all the confusion earlier on in their friendship, when he really thought she had answered his feelings, but he had been reading them all wrong.

But the last few weeks when they became so close, they kind of seemed to be able to understand each other perfectly.  
Life wasn't easy when you chose to put someone else first in life, instead of yourself.  
He hadn't realised how brooding he looked, until Frankie nudged him friendly. "You ok?" she whispered.  
"Yeah, I guess." He shook his head as if to get rid of the confusing thoughts. "I'll tell you later," he added in a whisper.  
If there was one look of hers that he truly understood, it was the one of deep love for him, with which she held his gaze now. It made him forget everything else around him.

They were disturbed by Ed who asked whether they fancied playing a game.  
They settled for a cheesy Trivial Pursuit in which the guys were to play against the girls. Mary had at first said she would not want to play because of the unequal amount of players in each team. But then Frankie had pulled her aside and after some whispering together, Mary had conceded and so it was that Henry found himself, together with Ed and Will, competing against his sister and his girlfriend.  
He had to admit he was never really a person for games, but this seemed quite nice.  
It got quite competitive. Ed and Frankie were quite knowledgeable so both teams followed each other in close pursuit. The girls managed to win and were quite ecstatic.  
Henry laughed at them. He really had enjoyed himself.  
As a prize the guys decided to get Take Away.

While they were waiting Henry sat back next to Frankie. He had to admit he was feeling quite tired again. She played with his fingers while she was chatting to Will. But he couldn't concentrate.  
He didn't feel very well. Suddenly he felt the urge to go and lie down for a bit.  
"I have to lie down," he said, his voice a bit unsteady. Frankie eyed him with some worry. "Just tired," he added with a tired smile. He didn't want her to feel worried again.  
He got up and walked towards his room.

**Chapter 32**

_A.N be prepared for a not-so-nice scene in this chapter_

Despite Henry's hopes to not worry her, Frankie was worried. He walked unsteadily when he left the room, his face pale.  
Whatever Will had been saying to her at the moment, was completely lost on her.  
She sighed deeply. Clearly the effects of yesterday's events hadn't worn off yet.  
She wasn't sure what to do. If he wanted to be left alone because he needed sleep or if there was more.  
She decided to get a glass of water. She stood up to go to the kitchen, but heard weird noises coming from the bedroom.  
Changing her course instantly she knocked on the door and heard a groan.

The scene she entered when opening the door was not what she had expected.  
Henry leaned back on the bed, his face as white as a ghost, having just thrown out his food of the day on the duvet.  
Frankie rushed to him with great concern.  
"Henry! Are you alright? No, of course you're not!" She felt so agitated she wasn't sure what she was saying. The fear from the previous day gripped her again. But then she breathed deeply - ignoring the smell – to calm herself down.  
"I feel… awful," came his unsteady voice. She didn't know what to do first. She grabbed his hand in an instinct. Finding his pulse, she was relieved to feel it was only a bit faster than usual, but not irregular as the day before.  
"Stay here Henry, I'm gonna get you some water."

She rushed out to the bathroom, while in passing she asked if anyone in the living room could quickly get a glass of water.  
From the bathroom she got a wet cloth and a bowl of water.  
When she came back out, Mary asked worried: "What happened? Is Henry ok?"  
"He just threw up again," was her short answer.  
Mary walked after her with a glass of water, visibly trying not to gag at the sight and smell.

Henry lay with his eyes closed.  
"Henry? You awake?" Frankie asked him anxiously.  
He opened his eyes again and slowly nodded.  
She began first to dab his face with a wet cloth, giving him a tissue to clean his mouth. Then she supported his head and let him drink some water.  
"Now, don't get up until you feel less faint. I don't want you to collapse!"  
She didn't give herself pause to get more worried.  
"Mary get me a bucket with soapy water and some cloths please." And when she came back, "Do you think you would be able to clean up most of the mess before we throw the stuff in the washing machine?"  
Mary nodded. "I'll try."  
Will and Ed came in. "Can we do something?"  
"Mary, where can we find clean bedding? Ed could you get some? Will, please open some windows."

Then she turned again to Henry, who was still lying with closed eyes.  
"Are you feeling any better love?" she asked.  
"I'm not sure," was the disconcerting answer.  
"Can you explain what you do feel? I need to see if we have to call a doctor or so. Do you still feel sick?"  
He nodded.  
"Will? Can you get another bucket please? Under the sink I believe."

Meanwhile Mary cleaned up as quickly as she was able to with one hand, covering her nose with the other.  
When most was off, she walked away with her cleaning material.  
"Henry, do you think you could move a little? So we can get the duvet from under you."  
She supported him when he moved and they managed to get it off.  
Ed took it from her to get it washed.  
"Henry. What else are you feeling? Headache?" he shook his head. "Dizziness?"  
"Maybe a little," he whispered.  
She kept dabbing his face and his chest with the wet cloth to cool him down.

"Franks?" Will asked. He put the bucket next to her. "Do you think we need to call a doctor? Did they say anything yesterday or this morning about if this was something that could happen?"  
Frankie straightened her back for a moment to think.  
"I think they did," Henry managed to say. "Did they not say to call if anything changed?" He sighed and suddenly his face grew pale again.  
Quickly Frankie grabbed the bucket and supported Henry to sit up before once again he emptied his stomach. Mary and Ed quickly left the room, unable to watch.  
"Yes please, Will. Try to ring someone!" Frankie stammered. He also quickly left the room and a moment later Frankie could hear him on the phone.  
She gently stroked Henry's back until he leaned back again.  
She helped him drink some water and continued to cool him down.  
Will came back in. "I have explained as much as I could and knew. They said it was not an unusual reaction, as they called it, since the stuff worked effectively as a poison and is still getting out of his system." He looked a bit uncomfortable.  
"If anything gets worse, like continued vomiting or losing consciousness or change in heart-rate, we ought to get 999 again."  
Frankie nodded relieved. "Thanks for that!"

After about ten minutes, Henry felt steady enough to get up, while Frankie watched him anxiously. By now he was shivering. With Will's help he was escorted to the bathroom for a shower.  
Frankie got some help from Ed with changing the bed and they managed to get most of the smell also out of the room.  
Mary cleaned all the other things.  
Frankie felt she needed some fresh air and went outside for a moment. She deeply inhaled the evening air to get the smell out of her nose.  
She almost laughed at the irony of it all. Usually she stayed as far away as possible from sick people. But now the sick person was Henry, all her disgust and aversion went out of the window as she wanted nothing more than to help him feel better.

Someone walked towards their front door.  
"Your Take Away order, madam," the man said.  
Frankie grimaced. They had totally forgotten about that. She doubted if anyone had any appetite left, but she accepted the delivery and had Will pay the guy.  
Inside she found Henry unsteadily making his way back to his bed. Despite having had a shower she could see he was shivering.  
She remembered the times in her life that she had been sick and knew how it drained a person of energy. She imagined how much worse it must be for Henry, since he had already been tired.  
He managed to get in bed by himself and settled under the covers.  
"Are you feeling any better?" she asked.  
He nodded slightly. "I feel drained, but at least my stomach is alright now! Now I need to sleep."

She caressed his face. Worry still must have been visible in her eyes, for Henry said. "Don't worry Franko, I'll be ok." He pulled her face closer.  
"You are such an amazing person! Thank you for being with me!" He kissed her. "I love you!"  
Frankie hadn't noticed she was crying until his thumbs wiped her tears from her face.  
She laughed through her tears.  
"I love you too. But you must stop scaring me like that, will you?"  
She returned his kiss fervently. Then pulled back. "Sorry, you needed sleep. This won't be very helpful." She couldn't help colouring a bit.  
"Never apologise for kissing me," he grinned. "Besides, it'll give me happy dreams I hope."  
A shadow of worry went over his face. But he seemed too tired to dwell upon his fears.  
With another kiss, Frankie left the room.

The others were in the kitchen.  
"How is the patient?" was Will's enquiry.  
"Asleep I hope. At least he doesn't feel sick anymore."  
They sat down at the table for their Take Away meal, but none of them felt really hungry. They talked about what had happened.  
Ed said: "Wow Franks, I'm amazed at you, you know! Usually you're a bit shy and quiet, but you handled the situation very well. I have no doubt in your abilities to run the team at the Antigua! I only hope for you won't involve anymore vomit." He grimaced.  
Frankie looked at him. "Thank you Ed. But I don't think it's much special! This is what I had to do! It's no use to panic or cry or so." she sighed. "I only hope that from now on we'll be going upwards. This is draining me too I must say!" The others nodded empathetically.  
"Franks, remember, you're not alone and we stand with you both!" Will said. "Even if I'm back in Portsmouth again!" he added. "Don't hesitate to call!"  
Mary and Ed nodded.

They were silently eating for a while. Frankie was only playing with the food. Her mind was too preoccupied to be hungry.  
Rationally thinking, Henry should get better in the next few days and then put his energy in getting sorted mentally.  
But sitting down after tonight's situation, she felt her fears coming back. During all the busyness she had managed to put all her emotions away to focus on sorting it all out.  
But now they all came back, forcing her to relive all that happened the last hour. Before she knew it, she was sobbing, covering her face with her hands. Will was with her instantly, pulling her into a close embrace.  
After a while her tears seemed to lessen. Will was still patting her back. "It's ok Frankie. Get it out!"  
She looked up. "Sorry, I don't know where that came from!" Her voice was unsteady.  
"Don't apologise," Will said. "You pushed back your emotions when it all happened, but they had to come out at some time. It's normal, you know!"  
Mary gave her a glass of water, which Frankie accepted with a grateful nod.  
She used the time she was drinking it, to calm herself down again.  
She let go of her brother's embrace.  
"Thank you!" Then she got up. "If it's ok I'm gonna have a shower and then trying to sleep."  
They wished her goodnight and she left the kitchen.

Suddenly she stood still in the deserted living room. Last week she had used the guest room partly. But that's where Will was sleeping now. The others seemed to assume she would sleep with Henry in one bed again. And she sort of had thought she would, simply because she didn't want to leave him alone in case any nightmares came or he became unwell again. But she hadn't asked him if he was ok with it. She guessed he would be happy with her company, but it still was weird if she didn't talk about it with him before.  
She decided to take her shower and then first see if he was still sleeping or would wake up when she entered his room.

Twenty minutes later she hesitatingly knocked on his door. She heard his voice. "Who is it?"  
"It's Frankie," she called back. She opened the door to enter.  
"Why are you knocking?" he asked with a surprised tone in his voice.  
"Well, firstly, because it's polite." She grimaced. "And secondly, I don't want to scare you by just walking in."  
He was sitting up, seemingly just woken up. She walked towards him.  
"Did you manage to sleep a bit?" she asked.  
He smiled. "Yes a little bit. I do feel somewhat better now." He gestured for her to come and sit next to him which she readily did.  
"Are you planning to go to sleep?" he asked, pointing at her sleeping clothes.  
"Yes, I've had enough excitement for the day." She laughed. Then she sighed deeply.

Henry noticed. "What's the matter Franko?" She felt reluctant, but then decided to just say it.  
"I'm not sure where I should sleep." She didn't look at him.  
"Why Frankie, here of course! Or do you not want to?" He sounded a bit confused.  
"Well, yes. And I kind of thought it, since I don't want to leave you alone after yesterday etc. But it seems, it's the only option. I mean, Will is in the guestroom. I guess I could sleep on the sofa…" she sighed again.  
"But why Frankie? What is the problem?"  
She felt very shy, but looked up at him and found him intently looking at her.  
"It's just… we've decided last week to… you know… wait. But meanwhile everyone else seems to assume that we already…" her voice trailed away. "And while in a way it's none of their business, I just don't like living under false assumptions. That's why I'd rather had the option."

Henry looked unusually serious. "I must confess I hadn't thought of that. But you are right. However, I don't know what we could do about it. As you say, it is none of their business. Maybe we should just try to be content by knowing the truth ourselves." He yawned and then grimaced.  
"I'm sorry your idea of last week won't really be possible this week. After my accident earlier tonight there's no more clean bedding available."  
Frankie smiled. "Well I do feel a bit more at ease now, after talking with you.  
But I am very impressed with you, Henry Crawford! The man I knew a few months ago, would have reacted very differently I think."  
He laughed. "I'm sure of that. I didn't know that such a change was possible!"  
He yawned again.  
"Now, I can see you really need to sleep. And I need some more too. So, are you coming in?"  
Frankie nodded and felt still a bit strange when she got under the covers.  
But she did feel too tired to think much longer about it.  
Henry lay down again and simply turned off the light.  
"Sleep well, my love!" he whispered.  
"Sleep well," she answered.  
And very soon she did.

**Chapter 33**

Henry could not sleep yet for a while. More and more he was impressed with Frankie's integrity and her desire to do the right thing. Silently he promised her to try his best to live the same way.  
He turned on his side and slowly fell back asleep again.

Without warning he had his worst nightmare yet.  
He lay again in the hospital bed. Somehow he could see himself from above. He saw Frankie sitting next to his bed. She cried and couldn't stop crying. He wanted to comfort her but wasn't able to move. Then someone walked in, a doctor.  
"I'm sorry Miss Price. He's dead!" With that he walked towards him and pulled up the sheet to cover his face. He wanted to shout that he wasn't dead. But he couldn't move. Frankie seemed so overcome with grief, but she stood up and walked out. He wanted to call her back. Frantically he tried to move, but he was all stiff. Somehow from above he could see his face through the bed-sheet, he truly looked dead. Something cramped in his chest.  
He tried to wake up, but wasn't able to.

Suddenly he saw another man walking into the room, straight to his bed. He removed the bed-sheet off his face.  
He didn't know the man although he looked sort of familiar.  
"Henry," came a friendly voice. "wake up. Don't be afraid! I'm here with you!" suddenly he recognised the voice, from the day before. "Henry, I love you!" continued the voice. "My peace I give you! Do not be afraid."  
His fear seemed to melt away. He felt truly peaceful.

Someone grabbed his hand. Then he did wake up.  
Frankie sat up next to him.  
Her face was dark with worry.  
Henry sat up too, but he couldn't talk yet. He rubbed his face with his hands. This was the weirdest dream ever.  
"Are you ok?" Frankie asked.  
"Yeah. Give me a moment!" he said. "I just need to think." she nodded.

He tried to make sense of it all. Somehow the first part that he saw himself dead, was clearly a dream. But somehow the other man and what he had said, didn't seem entirely a dream. It was the same voice he had heard the day before, which had truly calmed him down! Did he dare say, was it God? But, how was that possible? Most of the things said were also the same as yesterday. But, what had he said about peace? 'My peace I give you'. That was a peculiar way of saying it. It resonated with him somehow.

Henry grabbed his phone from the bedside table.  
He could see Frankie still looking at him.  
"Sorry love, I need to look up something."  
He found Google and typed the words in. The first search result said they were words from the Bible! He clicked on the link and there were the exact words!  
Wow! This was all very strange! He didn't know what to make of it!  
"Sorry Frankie. I'm just a bit confused at the moment." He took her hand.

"Before I explain what happened, can I ask you something?"  
She nodded.  
"Yesterday, I guess it must have been in the ambulance or so, I… heard you say something. I thought I was dreaming. Were you… praying?" He anxiously looked at her face. She looked really surprised and shocked.  
He continued hurriedly. "You said something like: 'God if you really exist, let Henry live'. And something about that my mum had always said that He loved me."  
She had put both of her hands in front of her open mouth now.  
"Did you really say that? Did you pray?" he asked again when she still didn't say anything.  
Finally, she found her voice back.

"Henry… I… I never said those words out loud! I did… pray, yes. But I only thought them in my head!" Her eyes were big in shock. "How could you have heard that?"  
Henry felt equally shocked. How was this possible?  
He told her about the other voice he had heard just after her prayer, and about how peaceful he felt. He paused for a while. Frankie didn't say anything either.  
Then he told her about his dream and about that same voice and those soothing words. He showed her the words he had heard, on his phone.  
"Wow, this is… spooky," she said at last. "Do you think it was God or so?"  
Henry stared towards the window. "It must be. But why? I have no idea what to do with this!" He sighed.  
"Me neither," Frankie said. "I am so totally unfamiliar with any of this! I need to think about it!"

They were both silent again.  
"I'm sorry to have woken you up again," Henry said. "Did I scream? I can't remember I did."  
Frankie looked at him. "No, you didn't scream. I don't know what it was. Somehow, even though I was sleeping, I sensed something was going on. I turned on the light and you were almost rigid, with your eyes open, but I don't think you saw anything. It was really scary. The only thing that prevented me from panicking was the fact that you were still breathing. I tried to wake you up, but at first it didn't work. I was so glad when you came around." She sighed.

Henry noticed she was playing with his fingers again.  
Suddenly he smiled.  
"I like it when you do that!" he said.  
Frankie looked confused. "What?" He held their hands up.  
"Sorry I hadn't noticed I was doing that."  
"I don't mind! It makes me feel relaxed, like a massage or so."

Then he said: "I think I'm going to have a drink. I don't think I could go back to sleep at the moment. What about you?" She nodded and together they set off to the kitchen.  
There he suddenly noticed that he was quite hungry.  
He decided to make toast.  
"Frankie do you want some?"  
"Are you sure?" she asked.  
"Yeah it's fine. I'm a bit hungry. I know I should be able to handle this."

He explained: "You probably won't be surprised that this wasn't the first time I was sick. As you know I can occasionally get quite drunk and consequently throw up sometimes. Mary never has any sympathy with me and I always have to clean up myself." He grimaced. "I guess it's my own fault anyway. And now I stop talking about gross subjects. But toast always helps me if I have a hangover. So I guess it will do me no harm now."

Soon they were eating their toast. Neither of them said much. There was so much to think about.  
Half an hour later they were back in bed.  
"I hope the others didn't hear us," said Frankie and then yawned.  
"Well, at least I didn't scream this time," Henry grimaced.  
"I hope the rest of the night is uneventful. What is the time actually?"  
He looked at his watch. "Only twelve thirty. We went to bed quite early after all."  
The light was turned off again. But Henry couldn't sleep. For a long time, he lay staring at the ceiling that was faintly visible in the darkness.  
Frankie also seemed not to be able to sleep. He could hear her turning and sighing.  
"Henry?" she whispered.  
"Yes?"  
"Can you sleep?"  
He laughed softly. "Not if you keep talking. But to be honest, not really."  
He hesitated but then said: "Come a bit closer. Maybe we can help each other."  
He could hear her move closer. "Now turn over a little bit."  
Soon she lay in his arms, head on his chest. Henry noticed with some surprise that their breathing synced. Again she played with his hand. He tangled his fingers with hers.  
He kissed her cheek. "Do you think you could sleep now?" he whispered.  
"I might." A smile sounded in her voice. She kissed his hand.  
"I love you Henry!"  
"And I love you, Frankie!"  
Soon he felt her breathing slowing as she was falling asleep. Henry then drifted off as well.


	12. Chapter 34-36

**Chapter 34**

After their midnight snack, Frankie couldn't get back to sleep. Her mind was reeling over what Henry had told her. It gave her shivers, when she thought of how it could have been possible that Henry had heard her prayer even though she hadn't said it out loud.

First the fear and the worry when she somehow had woken up to find him in the middle of his nightmare and then his relating of the dream. This was so weird and she had no idea what to do with it. Religion was simply not something she had ever thought about until Henry had mentioned it, when they were in Winchester Cathedral. All that had happened seemed to imply that God did exist. But what did that mean? Who was God? What she concluded from what she had heard, was that he loved people and that somehow he listened to prayers and that he was able to give some sense of peace or so. But beyond that she wasn't sure.

She turned to her side again, still not able to sleep.  
The room was not entirely dark, a street lantern shone its light through the curtains.  
She could see Henry lying on his back. She heard him sigh.  
"Henry?" she whispered.  
"Yes?" came his answer.  
"Can you sleep?"  
She heard his soft laugh. "Not if you keep talking. But to be honest, not really."  
Then he said: "Come a bit closer. Maybe we can help each other."  
She wondered what his plan was. But she moved over towards him. She could feel the warmth from his body.  
"Now turn over a little bit."  
Now she lay a bit sideways and Henry put his arms around her. She put her head on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat always seemed to calm her down. Just like in the afternoon she felt this was where she wanted to be! She grabbed his hand and then smiled. He had said that her playing with his hand made him feel relaxed. Somehow it did to her as well. Then she felt Henry weaving his fingers with hers. Then she felt his lips on her cheek. "Do you think you could sleep now?" he whispered.  
She smiled. "I might." Then she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it.  
"I love you Henry!"  
"And I love you, Frankie!"  
She sighed contently and then felt her breath slowing down, as well as Henry's. Sleep was finally coming.  
With the rhythm of his heartbeat soothing her, she fell asleep.

Before Frankie opened her eyes the next morning, she knew where she was. She felt Henry's body warmth through her pyjamas. When she did open her eyes, she found him staring at her. His gaze made her heart flutter.  
"Hello you," she whispered.  
"Good morning Frankie," was his answer just before he kissed her.  
"You slept well?" she asked.  
"I definitely did. What about you?"  
She merely smiled and kissed him again.

Then Henry's phone beeped to say he had a message.  
He turned around to pick it up and looked surprised.  
"It's you!" he said, looking at her.  
"Me? I haven't got my phone here! Wait, it's in the living room I think."  
"Ah yes, that explains it! I think it's Will. Look what he says."  
They read: 'Good morning, if you guys want any breakfast, then you need to be quick. W.'  
Frankie laughed. "Typically him!" Then she saw the time.  
"10 o'clock? No wonder why! He said yesterday he needs to leave at eleven to get back to Portsmouth!"  
She quickly got out of bed.  
"Come on Henry."  
They both hurried out towards the kitchen.  
As soon as they opened the door of the bedroom they could smell bacon and eggs.  
Frankie laughed. "If Will got the chance, he would be eating that every day! He loves food!"  
"Good morning lovebirds." Was Will's greeting when they came in.  
He was standing by the stove and frying some eggs. Mary and Ed were sitting at the kitchen table, Mary with her phone and Ed was marking. They both looked up briefly.  
"How's it going brother?" was Mary's question.  
"Hi all. I feel much better sis, thanks for asking!"  
"Good to hear," Will said. "Are you ready for this then?" he pointed at a plate with bacon.  
"Not too much yet, but I think I can handle it." Henry laughed.  
"What about you Franks?" was Will's next question.  
"You know I can't say no to your breakfast-making skills," Frankie smiled as she sat down.  
Will put a plate with food in front of each of them and also sat down.  
"Are you working?" Frankie asked Ed.  
"Yes," was his reply. "Preparing for tomorrow."

"Franks, I didn't know you could sleep until this late!" Will said in a teasing voice.  
Frankie looked at Henry and rolled her eyes. He laughed.  
"Well Will, I'm as surprised as you are. I literally just woke up. I guess I needed it."  
"Were you up during the night? I thought I heard something." Mary asked.  
"Yeah, I had another nightmare," Henry sighed.  
"And then I was a bit hungry so we had some toast." Then he said: "So Will, I heard you're going back to Portsmouth today?"  
Will first finished his mouthful before he answered: "Yep, I have to catch up from last Friday."  
Frankie smiled. "I am so glad you came!"  
Henry nodded. "Yeah, thank you for giving Frankie the support she needed. I am really sorry that it was because of my stupidity that it was necessary." He looked down.  
Frankie took his hand under the table and squeezed it.  
"No apologies necessary! It wasn't your fault!" was Will's reply. "But I'm glad I could be of any help!"

They all finished their breakfast.  
Mary and Ed offered to wash up.  
Henry and Frankie got themselves dressed and soon it was time for Will to leave!  
As always Frankie was sad to see Will go again. She was glad he was only going to Portsmouth and not back to sea. She gave him a big hug.  
"I'll miss you, brother! I hope to see you soon!"  
"You too Franks. Take care of yourself! And if there's anything, please call me!"  
"I will," she said. "say hi to mum and the family! And to Suzy!"  
"Yes! Don't forget to call her! You promised."  
She rolled her eyes. "I will! Don't worry."  
"Well, bye Crawford. I hope things will soon get better for you! Take care. And see you all soon."  
After also saying goodbye to Mary and Ed, Will drove away.  
Frankie sighed. She couldn't get used to seeing Will leave.  
Henry put an arm around her and gave her a little squeeze.  
They went back inside.  
"What do you want to do today?" Henry asked.  
"That depends!" she said.  
"On what?"  
"Well, on how are you feeling. There's a lot of things I would love to do, but at the moment I'm not picky, as long as I get to hang out with you." She smiled.  
"That's easy then," he grinned. "At the moment I feel not too bad, but I do feel I'm not back to normal yet. So I guess we shouldn't go far. Shall we go to the park again?"

Half an hour later they found themselves leisurely strolling through the park.  
"I have decided to take a week off work." Henry said. "I don't think I've got the energy to be in the office all day. Besides I'm not sure how Tuesday will go. Next week I will have to go to the Everingham for a few days to check on how things are going there. But if I take this coming week to rest and sort myself out a bit, that should only benefit my work."  
Frankie nodded. "That sounds like a good plan! Are you nervous about Tuesday?"  
"A little bit. I hope it's going to help, but it might be difficult at first." He sighed.  
Frankie squeezed his hand. "We'll face it together, remember?"  
They sat on a bench near the pond.  
Henry put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him. She could see he was tired again.  
"Have you thought more about that… God-stuff?" she asked hesitatingly.  
"It hasn't been out of my mind. But I haven't found any answers or so yet. It is a relief I think, to know that my mum was right about it. Because of her death I had doubted that, although I didn't want to admit that. The idea that she would lie to me or would be deceived herself…" he shivered and then was quiet.

"When I was four, Mary, who was almost two then, had chickenpox." Henry's voice now sounded far off, as if deep in thought. "She cried a lot and I was sad that we couldn't play. When my mum put me to bed in the evening, she said: 'Henry, we can pray to Jesus that he makes Mary feel better again.' So she showed me how to do it and we prayed. The next day Mary was doing much better. My mum said that Jesus always hears my prayers and that I can always tell him everything."  
"Do you think then that we should pray or so?" Frankie asked, a bit unsure.  
Her voice seemed to bring Henry back from his memory.  
"Ehh, I guess? I'm sure it wouldn't do any harm."  
They looked at each other a bit uncomfortable.  
"How do we have to do that?" Frankie wondered.  
"I don't know. Just talking? Mum said he would hear us anyway."  
Frankie laughed a bit nervously. This was so strange. Henry grabbed her hand and she could feel he was also nervous.

He cleared his throat.  
"Dear God or Jesus. Ehm, my mum said you always listen. And ehh, we think it was you speaking last night in my dream. And we also think it was you who somehow made it possible that I heard Frankie's prayer even though she only did it in her thoughts…"  
Frankie interrupted: "Yeah and I am really grateful that Henry didn't die! And that he's doing quite well again."  
Henry continued: "But with all this, we just don't know what to do. Do we need to do anything? Thanks for making me feel peaceful last night. I wish I felt that peaceful all the time! We hope that you somehow give us an answer." He was quiet for a moment. "That's it really."  
He looked at her, with a nervous smile.  
"I guess now we wait?"  
Frankie nodded. "Yes I think so. That was a bit weird. But it felt good or so." She smiled.  
They sat in silence for a while.  
Henry started to get a bit restless. Frankie looked at him. "Do you want to go back home?" she asked.  
"Yeah. I'm tired again!"  
They stood up and made their way back home.

**Chapter 35**

Henry collapsed on his bed straight away. The walk had exhausted him.  
Frankie sat on the sofa in the living room. Ed and Mary weren't home, so there was no distraction. Her thoughts were a muddle. She thought about all that had happened the past few weeks. Her life had changed so much. She felt changed herself as well! She felt more confident, less shy. And being with Henry was the best thing! She would never have thought he could capture her heart so completely!  
She really hoped - no, prayed – that he would feel better soon. She was wondering where all of this was going.

Her phone rang. It was Will.  
"Hi Franks, I just wanted to let you know that I've arrived home safely! How are you?"  
"Hi Will, thanks for letting me know that! I really appreciate that. I'm ok I think. Henry is asleep, so I'm left alone with my thoughts." She laughed. "A lot of thinking going on lately, you know."  
"Well, I hope it's not hurting, so much thinking!" Will teased. "Have you phoned Suzy yet?"  
Frankie sighed. "No not yet. If you get off the phone, I'll do it now."  
"Great!" He sounded cheerful. "Then I won't keep you any longer. Love you sis! Speak to you soon!"  
They hung up and Frankie decided to do what she had promised. She rang Suzy.

"Frankie! So good to hear from you again!"  
"Hi Suzy. Sorry I've been a bit absent in the past weeks! How are you?"  
Suzy laughed. "It's all for a good cause I know. So don't worry too much. But I'm doing fine."  
"Good! I heard you have been going out with Will?"  
"Well, just hanging out really. It's fun."  
"Just fun?" Frankie said in a teasing tone.  
"Yes, fun. As friends. Nothing more."  
"Hmm," Frankie wasn't ready yet. "As long as I'm the first one to hear any news." She smiled.  
"Well, let's talk about you, shall we?" Suzy said in a mock tone.  
Frankie laughed. "What do you want to know?" that was a scary question.  
"Everything," was the blunt answer. "You're in London at the moment right? Will told me he went there to see you. Did anything happen?"  
Frankie sighed.  
"Yeah, sort of. Henry ended up in hospital on Friday. It was… very scary. Luckily he's back home again, but he is still recovering."  
"I'm so sorry to hear that!" Suzy sounded genuinely concerned. "I was quite shocked when he told in your video what he's been going through. That wasn't something I had expected. I guess with a trauma like that, it sort of explains why he was how he was. Sorry that sounds weird."  
"It's alright. He admits that as well. Keeping other people at a distance so as not to get hurt again. But hopefully we'll be able to deal with it properly and I really hope he feels better soon! It's quite painful to see him in such distress!" she sighed.  
"I can imagine," was Suzy's response. "So, you're really together then, aren't you? That's at least very good news!"  
Frankie smiled. "Thanks Suzy! A few months ago I would have been the last person to believe this possible! But anyway." Suddenly she felt a bit shy. Their friendship was still too new for her to talk about what she really felt.

The next ten minutes they talked about Suzy's study, about Portsmouth, about Will and about the Antigua.  
"You must come and visit!" Frankie said. "It's such a nice place and I do look forward to start working on Thursday!"  
"Well, and I look forward to visit you there then!" Suzy sounded cheerful.

A door opened and Henry walked in. He looked still a bit sleepy. Frankie smiled at him. He came and sat next to her, sneaking a kiss on her cheek.  
"Sorry Suzy! What did you say?" Frankie blushed.  
"Ah not much. I was just asking what your plans were for the rest of this day."  
By now Henry had managed to manoeuvre himself in such a way on the sofa that she was almost sitting on his lap. Frankie almost giggled, only a little bit disturbed.  
"Don't know really. Not much I guess. Just relax. What about you?"  
"Well, I'm meeting a friend later this afternoon. We're going to…" Frankie was distracted again by Henry who seemed desperate for attention.  
"… But I will need to do some studying still tonight. So not much else."  
"Well, I hope you have a great time!" Frankie said. "I think I need to go. Someone here seems desperate for some attention. Just like a little puppy who has been left alone all day… Henry, stop that." She was suddenly interrupted because Henry started to tickle her. She tried to wriggle away but failed. Laughingly she said:  
"Sorry about that, Sue. Speak to you soon! Oh, and I believe Henry says hi."  
Suzy sounded a bit confused but then laughed. "Say hi back and say that he needs to behave himself."  
Frankie turned to Henry. "Suzy says you need to behave."  
He leaned over towards the phone.  
"Sorry Suzy. Next time I might try to not distract Frankie that much. But I must admit I do enjoy it." He laughed mischievously.  
"Henry, stop embarrassing me please." But she couldn't help smiling.  
Suzy laughed. "I won't keep you any longer. See you soon!"  
And with that she hung up.

Frankie turned towards Henry to say something, but with a mischievous look he started to kiss her until she was breathless.  
"So, that's your punishment for comparing me to a desperate puppy," he said when he finally let her go.  
Frankie laughed. "If that is your notion of punishment, I will try to think of other things to call you."  
She tickled him and found that he was really ticklish. Soon they were both out of breath from laughing.  
At last they both, in perfect sync, lifted their hands in surrender. This caused another fit of laughter.  
Frankie stood up when they finally calmed down a bit, wiping tears from her face.  
"I think I need a drink. What about you?" She held her hand out to Henry who then also got up.  
"Yeah, good idea!"  
"I thought you were asleep?" Frankie asked.  
"No I couldn't. I did rest a bit though, but my mind just kept going."

They sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of tea.  
"So when are you going back to the Antigua?" Henry asked.  
Frankie hesitated. "Well, I think on Wednesday, maybe before that."  
"But I do hope you're going with me on Tuesday! Please?" was Henry's serious plea.  
She smiled. "I will, don't worry." He looked relieved.

"I haven't asked the last few days, but have you had time to work on your comic book?" she asked.  
"I'm curious as to how it's going."  
He laughed.  
"I haven't done much as you can imagine, but I'll show you what I've got." He got up to get his papers. Soon he was back.  
Frankie admired the drawings. It was cleverly done and the story was very funny.  
"Wow, it looks great! You're so talented!" She looked at him with pride. He coloured slightly.  
"Thanks Franko!"  
"You know what I would like?" Frankie said suddenly. "Could you teach me how to draw? I've never thought about it, but it must be great to be able to draw what you see in your mind!" she looked a bit shy.  
Henry smiled.  
"I must say I never really think as to how to do it, but I'm willing to give it a try to explain." He was up again and then came back with more paper and some pencils.

"Now, as you see I mostly draw caricatures, since I like that more. To capture someone's expression in an exaggerated way. But when I was younger, especially as a kid, I used to try to draw all sorts of things. I think I had pages and pages of sketches of insects and birds. Landscapes are not my thing. Too fiddly. But with drawing people as well as animals etc. it's easiest to start with a base shape." He showed her quickly by drawing an oval and adjusting it here and there and soon it looked like a dog. In rapid succession he then drew an elephant, an ant and then he drew herself.  
"That's not your first time!" she looked at him and he blushed.  
"No, it's not. Have you noticed that you're in my comic?" He showed her various pages, where a person in the background had a strong resemblance with herself." Now she coloured. "Why did you do that?" she asked. He smiled at her. "As a sort of tribute. After all the ideas you gave me. But you notice how subtle I've done it! Because at first you hadn't noticed it!"  
"Very clever! Thank you!" She gave him a quick kiss.  
Then he guided her in drawing her first proper animal. He was a good teacher and she was quite pleased with her first results! "Wow, that's better than stick people and stick animals, which is as far as I ever got when I was a child."  
Henry laughed. "But in a way those are also base steps. Because you mark the shape, which you then adjust and add to." He showed how to draw a proper person, starting with a stick man.  
She tried it too and with his help she soon was able to get proper looking people and other figures on paper.

They were both still engrossed in their activity when Mary arrived an hour later.  
"Anyone home?" she called. "Ah, here you are." She entered the kitchen and looked amused at the two of them sitting at the table, which was covered with sketches.  
"Ah, Henry in his element!" she laughed. She came closer to look at some of the sketches.  
"That doesn't look bad! Is that yours, Frankie?"  
Frankie coloured. "Yes, I'm trying. I've got a very good teacher." Henry's face lit up. "I'm trying," he said modestly, but she could see he was pleased.  
Mary smiled.  
"I remember when we were young, Henry tried to teach me as well. But I didn't have the patience and was rather outside playing football. Poor Henry." She laughed at him.  
"Ah yes, and I just couldn't understand why you didn't like it," he pouted.  
"Well, you got over it alright I think," Mary said. "And now you've found another victim!"  
"Hey Mary, don't call me that! I actually asked him!" Frankie looked quasi-offended. Mary laughed.

"On a different subject," she then said, "Have you guys had any lunch? Do you want some?"  
"I hadn't thought of it yet," Frankie said, and Henry nodded. "That late full breakfast has kept me going until now."  
They decided on a simple sandwich and after pushing aside all the paper on the table, they ate and chatted.  
Frankie could see that Henry was getting withdrawn a bit. He was tired.  
When they finished their lunch she helped him getting all the drawing material back to the desk.

Henry sat on his bed and looked at her. Frankie smiled, but didn't say anything. Then she walked towards him and gently kissed him. He pulled her in his arms and she sat down. "I love you so much," he whispered in her hair. "And I you!" she said. After a while she pulled back and stood up. "See you later, love!" she said and with another look at him, walked out.

**Chapter 36**

Henry followed her with his eyes when she left. He'd rather she stayed, but he was tired and Frankie was very perceptive although she hadn't said anything.  
He decided to give in and lay down. Before he fell asleep he thought about their time together earlier on. He had enjoyed it so much to share his passion for drawing with her and was proud of her rapid progress. He knew she had a creative mind and was quick to learn, which definitely helped.

Most of the times his nightmare started with someone in a hospital bed. This time it was Frankie. He was holding her hand and tell her she would be well soon. Then people rushed in and rode the bed away, while he was still holding her hand. Soon they were going so fast, he couldn't hold on anymore. With a cry he let go of her hand. They were soon out of sight and Henry felt as if his heart was ripped out. He sunk onto the floor and cried. A gentle hand was put on his shoulder. Suddenly he wasn't sure if this was still a dream, for he really felt the pressure of the hand.  
"Henry, don't be afraid," came the friendly voice again. "I love you Henry. Do not fear!"  
This time he felt he could answer. "And Frankie?"  
"She is safe. I love her and I will take care of her. Don't be afraid."  
"Are you… Jesus?" Henry felt bold to ask.  
"I am. Ask and you shall receive."  
Henry was surprised to hear that. What did that mean? Could he ask anything? He took the courage.  
"You gave me peace last time. I felt it. I am afraid of the nightmares and I don't want them anymore…" Suddenly he felt shy.  
The Man smiled in such a loving way. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you! Do not be afraid!"  
As before, Henry felt that peace descending upon him as he woke up.

He was not surprised to find Frankie sitting next to him.

* * *

After leaving Henry to get the rest he needed, Frankie had been chatting for a while with Mary. She started to feel a bit more at ease with Henry's sister. But she couldn't yet forget all that had happened and the role Mary had played in that. However, she had to admit that Mary had also changed. On the surface she seemed to be her old and cheerful self. But Frankie could see she had started to become less selfish and genuinely cared for the people around her. Also she tried to be more careful in what she said and how she said it. All those improvements made it more easy for Frankie to spend time with her.

So it happened that they were happily chatting about nothing too important, but rather enjoying each other's company, when Frankie suddenly felt distracted. Something was amiss. She recognised the feeling as it was a bit like her experience that Friday morning. And she also remembered it from when she had been asleep and somehow had sensed Henry's nightmare.

She didn't see Mary's curious look as she suddenly didn't get a response.  
Frankie tried to figure out what had brought her discomfort. It had to be something related with Henry. Was he having a nightmare again? But how was it possible she could sense that at this distance?  
Almost without thinking she stood up and walked to the bedroom door, leaving Mary in some confusion.  
Upon entering the room, she could see her discomfort had been accurate. Henry looked agitated but was not awake. She sat next to him, not sure if she would try to wake him up.  
Closely observing him, she found herself praying again. "God, please give him the peace he needs."  
Slowly she saw his restlessness leaving him, his countenance changing, until, after a moment, he opened his eyes.  
For a moment she wasn't sure how to read his expression. He didn't seem surprised at seeing her. There was some confusion in his eyes but also awe and, indeed peace!  
"Did it happen again?" she asked.

* * *

He knew what she meant. He could see she was trying to read what was in his eyes. He wasn't sure what he was feeling though. If it was possible to feel confused and calm at the same time, then that was what his emotions were.

He nodded at her question and then told her all about it. It was strange that the memory of the awful dream was somehow rapidly fading but his encounter with Jesus was very clear in his mind. He repeated the words he had heard. And again they sounded familiar. Like the night before he researched them. What was said about peace came straight from the bible. The other mention, which was so strangely formulated again, 'ask and you shall receive', seemed to be there in a few variations. Also there was more to that, as it continued about seeking and knocking. He was strangely comforted by it. He didn't really know yet, what to do with their recent experiences, but Jesus seemed to encourage him, to keep asking and looking. And it did promise they would be rewarded.

Henry looked at Frankie, who looked a bit uncomfortable.  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
"I don't really know," she said. "I had this weird experience again." She hurried to explain. "Last week, when you were restless in your sleep, I somehow noticed that. That's when I took your hand and you calmed down again. Last night again I could sense you had a nightmare. As weird as I have found these two occasions, so far I just thought it was because I was next to you and might have picked up some signals unconsciously. But just now, I was sitting in the living room, talking with Mary. And suddenly I just knew something was wrong. It was so disturbing, I had to check on you. And there you were, indeed having a nightmare." She stopped to look at him and he could see her confusion.  
"This is almost creepy," she said. "I don't know if it's anything to do with God or so. Or if it is, because of …" she hesitated, "our connection so to say. I don't know what to call it."

Although not sure how to call it himself, Henry did get what she was trying to say. Even though they only had been really together for a few weeks, he knew they were connected in a way that had nothing to do with time.  
If he had worded it this way, he would have laughed, but somehow the truth was that she was truly his other half and he was hers. This had nothing to do with whether being married or not, it was stronger than that. He somehow knew their relationship was for life.  
He was too distracted at the moment, to fully get the implications of his conclusions, and to formulate them into understandable sentences.  
Instead, he nodded at her, as a signal that he understood her.

They were silent for a while, having even more to think about.  
Then Henry said hopeful: "Maybe my nightmares will stop now."  
Frankie squeezed his hand and smiled. "That would be great!" Then she asked. "Are you going to sleep some more? Or do you think that will ruin your night?"  
Henry thought about that for a moment. His legs felt heavy still. "Maybe I need a bit longer. After these few days I doubt I will have difficulty to sleep at night. Somehow I still need more rest. I'm surprised at how much this did to my strength." Frankie nodded.  
"Well, I'll leave you to it then." She bent over to kiss him, but he seized her and pulled her in his arms.  
"Do you have to go so soon?" He mockingly mimicked her from their conversation in Portsmouth.  
She grimaced. "You like that, don't you?!"  
His answer was serious. "That comment made me hope there was more. Until you didn't want to kiss me back." The pain was probably visible on his face.  
"I'm sorry love. I was just too confused at that moment. I wasn't sure whether spending more time or less time with you would make things clearer for me. But then you couldn't control yourself and almost ruined everything." This was said with a mixture of amusement and some pain. She sighed. "I'm so glad you missed that train. All would have been so different!"  
He nodded. "That's for sure." He smiled. "I'm glad you do want to kiss me back now." To tease her he stopped his mouth inches from hers and looked at her reaction. He laughed inwardly. She seemed to battle to not give in to his teasing, but her passion seemed stronger. He came even closer and then whispered. "How much self-control have you got left, love?"  
She pulled back immediately. "Enough, as you see," her reaction sounded triumphantly, but he could trace a bit of disappointment in her voice.  
He decided to stop teasing.  
"Sorry love, I couldn't resist." He pulled her back in his arms and kissed her in the most tender way possible. She seemed to melt under his lips and her answer was as loving as possible.


	13. Chapter 37-39

**Chapter 37**

Frankie stayed until Henry had fallen asleep again. Then she reluctantly left the room.  
Mary was busy on her laptop and just looked up.  
"Everything alright?" she asked.  
"Yeah, Henry had a nightmare." Frankie sat down.  
Mary looked a bit incredulous. "I didn't hear anything. How did you know?"  
Frankie shrugged. "I just knew."  
She picked up the book that was on the coffee table and opened it, a bit absentmindedly. She didn't see Mary sitting with her mouth open, staring at her.

For a while the story managed to catch all her attention and she was glad of it.  
After about an hour, Henry appeared again. His eyes found hers immediately. 'I missed you', was his wordless communication. She smiled. 'You ok?' she gestured with the raise of her brow. He nodded.  
"Right," he said, "I've stocked up some energy." He crossed the room and sat next to her.  
"Don't tell me you're working!" he said to Mary.  
She looked up. "Only a little bit. I'm going out with friends next weekend and I want to be able to have Friday off and still finish everything I need to do this week. Ed will be busy, having some extra meetings at school or so, so I'm sure I'll be able to put in more extra time."  
He rolled his eyes to Frankie who laughed.  
"What are you reading today?" he asked her. She showed him. "Great Expectations. I got it for my birthday."  
She explained what it was about and they chatted about the book and about other books and reading in general.  
It was nice to be able to talk about reading with Henry. She knew he wasn't really a reader, but since their poetry-reciting he had made an effort and she believed he had been reading more books in the last few months together than in the last ten years. She was pleased that he now seemed to read because he liked it, not anymore to impress her or for other reasons.

* * *

Mary had been observing them for a while now.  
A few months ago, because she was curious whether Henry had any success with Frankie. Later she thought she had seen some change in Frankie towards Henry. She knew well enough about Frankie's feelings with regard to Ed. Yet the last few weeks all Frankie seemed to see was Henry. And of course she had seen how Henry in turn was completely besotted with her.  
Mary still felt a sting of envy. It had totally surprised her that their relationship not only just worked, but in fact seemed very strong.

She thought about Ed. She loved him and since Tom's accident more than ever. But they still had their problems. They were so different in character! She knew it was worth all the effort, but it made her jealous of how easy Henry and Frankie's relationship seemed to be. She had seen their little wordless interactions, their devotion towards each other, and the fact that the other always seemed to be on their mind. Even their physical show of affection looked so natural. Not at all like how she had seen Rory and Rhea back in the time for example. Not even like herself and Ed.

Mary shook her head, trying to get rid of her thoughts.  
There they sat together, casually chatting about books and reading. Her surprise at Henry was great. He didn't like reading, but here he was talking as if he liked nothing better.

Mary tried to concentrate on the email she was writing.  
But she failed miserably.  
The other thing that confused her, was Frankie's comment earlier on. She had said that Henry had had a nightmare. And Mary knew Frankie well enough to know she wouldn't lie about something like that, just as an excuse to be with Henry. But she had said that she 'just knew'. How weird was that? She hadn't heard anything. Frankie had said it so matter-of-factly. But how it was possible, was beyond her.  
She sighed without realising. Best get back to work.

* * *

Henry relished their time together. Even talking about literature was nice. He had read more the past few months. In an attempt to understand why Frankie liked reading, he had given it a go. And in the process he started to enjoy it; being swept into a story, learning things along the way. And sometimes it provided the distraction he needed from day-to-day difficulties.

Time went by quickly, with having the leftovers from the Take Away for dinner and an evening with another film to watch.  
At about nine o'clock Henry felt spent. He was wondering how long it would take to be back his normal self again. He grimaced. It had all been his own fault.  
But the fear had been real and too much to handle. He was glad that yesterday and today he had been able to sleep relatively easy. The fears were still there, but his body demanded the sleep and all he could do, was give in. He was very grateful for the peace he had felt after God's own interference. He prayed that the coming night would be as peaceful.  
He squeezed Frankie's hand and she looked at him with understanding.  
'Who needs words?' He thought and smiled.  
Henry stood up and walked towards his room. "Good night, Mary," he said to his sister, who briefly looked up.

As he had expected, after about five minutes Frankie walked in. She took her place next to him.  
"How are you doing?" she asked.  
He sighed. "I've hardly done anything since my last nap and I'm exhausted. I really want to get back to my normal self again!"  
She took his hand. "Have patience, love."  
"What would I do without you!" he said, and he truly meant it.  
"Are you nervous?" was her next question. With her fingers she was tracing the back of his hand.  
"About sleeping? A little bit. But I feel that even if I tried to stay awake, I couldn't. I'm too tired for that."  
He caught her hand with his free one. "You're tickling me." He laughed a little bit.  
"Sorry. I didn't realise I was doing it again. Your hands hold an inexplicable attraction to me." She laughed, while colouring a bit.  
"Just my hands?" he teased.  
Her gaze shifted towards his face. "And your lips…" She whispered before she touched them with hers.  
"And… well, let's not go there."  
He laughed at her expression which was an odd mixture of embarrassment and tease.  
"But most importantly," her face now had a serious expression. "your heart." She laughed softly. "You must find me weird, but I calm down from hearing your heartbeat. As long as it's doing its duty properly though." She looked into his eyes. "But I mean more than your physical heart. It's who you are, all of it." She kissed him tenderly.  
"Well, it's all yours," he said in reply.  
Suddenly she laughed. Henry was a bit confused.  
"Sorry Henry, it's not what you said, for I believe you. But I just didn't know I could use so many cliché words and fully meaning them."  
He laughed as well.  
"In no other part of life are so many clichés used as in love, I guess," he said.  
"But surely, you as a book nerd must be able to come up with some alternatives," he winked.  
Frankie laughed. "I'll try," she said. "And I'll inform you with the results.  
But back to seriousness, you look like you could be falling asleep any minute now! It's a miracle your sentences are still more or less coherent."  
He smiled. "Yes, soon I shall be drifting off into the blessed realm of sleep. Or maybe rather the cursed." He had meant it as a joke, but he couldn't help feeling the reality of it. His face clouded over.  
She squeezed his hand. "Do you think we should pray?" she asked shyly.  
Henry nodded. "Yes I guess that's a good idea."  
Their hands entwined.

Then Frankie said: "Please Jesus, may we have that peace again for Henry for this night? He needs his sleep to get better again and those nightmares really are a pain in the neck."  
Henry added: "Yes that would be great! And I wish peace for Frankie here as well, as she worries too much over me, which she really shouldn't, but anyway."  
Frankie smiled. "I can't help it. But thank you!"  
Then she said. "Now I will leave you in peace. That sounds appropriate, doesn't it?! Since I've got the luxury of choice, I will be sleeping in the guestroom tonight."  
Henry felt a pang of disappointment.  
"But why?" he asked.  
She coloured. "It's better for my sanity. I'm not made of stone you know."  
He sighed. "I guess you're right. But what if there's anything…?"  
"Have faith Henry! And I'm sure I somehow would know, so don't worry."  
Before they parted he said: "By the way, if I'm feeling well enough tomorrow, what do you think of going into town and see if we can find a bible or so? I must say I am curious to know more about God etc."  
She nodded. "Yes that's a good idea!"

They shared another passionate embrace and after a last kiss, Frankie walked out.  
Henry didn't have much time to feel the regret of the separation as he almost immediately fell asleep.

* * *

Frankie felt that same regret, but she knew it was better this way. In the future she hoped they would always share the bed, but for now this was for the best.  
She said goodnight to Mary, who was still in the living room and then got herself ready and soon was in bed. After reading a few chapters from her book, she fell asleep.

**Chapter 38**

After breakfast the next morning, Henry first had to send some emails for work. But at ten o'clock they were in the tube on their way to the city centre.  
They decided first to try Waterstones.  
Henry had great difficulty to get Frankie to move through the shop, for there were so many books waiting to be read. However, they made it to the religion section and were confused about the choice of bibles. They all seemed similar yet different. Neither of them knew what to choose so a bit disappointed they walked out of the store again.  
"What now?" Frankie asked.  
"Hmm, maybe we should try to ask in a church or so if they could help."  
She looked doubtful. "Do you think they would?"  
"Sure! They should, is that not their thing?"  
She shrugged her shoulders and they walked around to find a church that was open.  
There were plenty in the area so soon they found themselves inside one. A lady walked in their direction.  
"Can I help you? Would you like a tour? We've got a leaflet with information about the building!"  
"Thank you," Henry said. "But we're looking to buy a bible and we've no idea what version to choose." He hesitated. "Or is this not the right place to ask?"  
The lady nodded pensively. "I see! Well, we don't sell bibles here, but there is a bookshop nearby that does…"  
"Not Waterstones?" Frankie interjected. "We got a bit confused at the choice you know."  
The lady smiled. "Yes there is quite a bit of choice. However, I didn't mean Waterstones. There is a Christian bookshop nearby. They've also got a lot of choice, but they will also be able to help you choose and explain all the different options. I will give you the address."  
She walked away and came back with a leaflet with the name of the shop on the front.  
"Here you go. It's not far from here, near the St. Paul's." she smiled at them. "Of course you are welcome here. On Sundays we have gatherings where someone would explain things from the bible. Maybe you would like to hear that?"  
"Thank you for your help!" Henry said. He meant it. This lady was kind and not pushy at all. He'd heard about church people who would try to force their beliefs upon you – an attitude which definitely would push people away instead of attracting them.  
Frankie nodded her thanks as well.

A moment later they were outside again.  
Henry smiled sheepishly at Frankie. "Well we've got a bit closer I think." He entwined his fingers with hers as they walked on.  
Frankie sighed. "Phew, I'm glad this went ok. I was a bit nervous to be honest."  
They found their way quickly enough and were surprised about the shop.  
Someone asked if they needed help and Henry explained what they were looking for.  
The kind lady told them why there were so many different translations and showed them the differences.  
Not only were they able to choose a bible but they were also given a little book with more information about the bible, but also about God and who Jesus was.  
Both Henry and Frankie were very grateful for this, for most things were still a mystery to them.  
Back outside Henry felt a bit strange.  
"I've never felt so excited about buying a book," he said.  
Frankie laughed.  
"Well you know I always get excited when buying a book. But this one…" she pointed at the bag dangling from Henry's other hand, "is a bit different I have to admit."

They didn't stay long in town, but soon went back home. Henry's legs ached even though they hadn't walked that much.  
The rest of the day went quickly with an afternoon nap and a continuation of Frankie's drawing lessons.

Before they said goodnight in the evening, Henry whispered to Frankie, who was in his arms: "In the category of clichés, I have enjoyed every minute with you today." He laughed when he kissed her.  
"Would that translate into: You're such nice company?" Frankie asked, a little breathless. "Hmm no, the cliché sounds better. Well me too! I mean, with you. Not with me." She laughed.  
Curiously she picked up the bible that was now on the bedside table. She flicked through it.  
"Gosh, where to start! Does that book say something about that? Wait." At the back of the bible she found a little guide as to where to start. It also gave an oversight about the most important parts of the bible. When she read the name 'Jesus' many times on the pages, she started to read more carefully. For Henry's convenience, she read everything out loud. Following the references, she soon found the story of Jesus dying on a cross.  
"That's with Easter!" Henry said, remembering it.  
Frankie looked incredulous. "Why celebrate someone dying?" she asked.  
"No, that's not what they do. Although I think it is part of it. Good Friday or so. As far as I remember Easter is more about His resurrection!"  
"What?"  
"Well, Jesus died, and apparently He came back to life again."  
"Really? That's not possible!" Frankie was very surprised. They couldn't really believe that, could they? Intrigued she read the whole chapter about how Jesus was put on the cross and how he died. And saw the next chapter matter-of-factly stating that he came back alive again.  
She stared at the pages open-mouthed.  
Henry had heard the story before so was a bit less surprised by it, but nonetheless it was a strange thing that people could believe that it actually happened. A real miracle!  
"Frankie!" he said, startling her a bit. "Our own experiences the past few days, that's a miracle, right?!" She thought about it and then nodded.  
"I suppose so. It must be. I can't explain it!"  
"Could that," he pointed at the book on her lap, "not be a miracle as well?"  
Frankie sighed involuntarily. "I guess. I don't know! This is a lot to take in! Maybe the book will explain more?"  
Henry nodded. "We'll have to find out. Tomorrow? Right now I am too tired I think. And I'm kind of dreading tomorrow's appointment to be honest." He laid his head on Frankie's shoulder. She was still absentmindedly turning the pages without reading.  
Then coming back in the present she sighed again.  
"Yes tomorrow would be better. Would you be alright tonight?" she asked. With the appointment with the psychiatrist ahead, it might trigger a nightmare.  
"I think I will," he said a bit hesitantly.  
"Well, may your sleep be peaceful!" she kissed him tenderly and then got up.  
"Sleep well, my love!"

Henry lay still, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts a whirlwind. Everything that happened in the past few weeks went through his mind. So much had happened and had irrevocably changed him. He could not imagine anymore how he had ever lived vain and shallow. While enjoying his job, his main other pleasures being drinking and women. He shuddered. 'Never again!' he vowed.

Suddenly the darkness seemed to close in on him. His breathing became more difficult. He wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep already, but the sense of dread was seeping through. How would tomorrow go? Was he supposed to tell all he had gone through? He remembered all the nights at his uncle's attic, waking up with a scream from yet another nightmare and not daring to sleep afterwards. In that time, he had read so many books as he had never before. But during the day he had noticed the consequences of not sleeping. He couldn't concentrate at school and was disciplined for that; his uncle had heard about it and had shouted at him that he should start behaving and pay attention.  
He shifted uncomfortably. He could almost hear his uncle's shouts in his head.

The fear slowly grew. No matter how much he tried thinking about other things, he couldn't. This was worse than any of the nightmares he'd had. There were no images, just the fear that covered him as a heavy blanket and with no escape. He had difficulty breathing, his chest tightened.  
He felt like he was dying!

**Chapter 39**

Frankie lay awake as well, her mind reeling over the new things she had heard. Someone coming back to life sounded ridiculous. But her own and Henry's experience would have sounded ridiculous too if not for the fact that it really happened.  
She tried to think of something else, deciding that it would be better to first read more about it and then try to get to a conclusion.

Her thoughts went back to the day she had spent with Henry. It was true, she had enjoyed every moment. She was still amazed at how 'they' had happened, yet now she couldn't imagine it any other way. A few months ago she had reluctantly admitted that she did enjoy hanging out with Henry. Yet she had always been on her guard because she wasn't sure she could trust him. Now she knew he had been falling for her against his own inclination and hadn't really known what to do about it. Now he had embraced the change and had proven her in so many ways how much he loved her.

Even though he was in another room, she almost could see him in her mind's eye. She hoped he would be asleep. But she saw him toss and turn. Suddenly something dark started to envelop him.  
She blinked her eyes rapidly. Was she dreaming? Or was this real? Something started to turn in her stomach. She recognised it as worry. What was going on?  
No matter how ridiculous it felt, she needed to check. It had proven accurate in the other instances.

Quickly she made her way to his room. The first thing she noticed when entering, was how stuffy it felt. Which was weird because she could see the window was open as usual and a cool breeze came in. Yet the atmosphere felt oppressive. She turned on the light to look at Henry and her heart stood still for a moment. His face was white as a ghost and cold sweat was on his forehead. His hands were plucking the covers but apart from that he wasn't moving. But what most shocked Frankie was the grimace of pure terror on his face.

What was happening? She hurried towards him and tried to wake him up. "Henry! Henry! Wake up! Henry!" She took one of his hands to calm him down, but the violence with which he shook her off startled her. "Henry! What's wrong? Please wake up!" He didn't react.  
"Please God, help him! I can't wake him up! Please!" She hadn't noticed that she was crying until she saw her tears slowly falling on his face.  
"Please Jesus!" she kept repeating.

Suddenly she felt calm, as if a storm had passed. "Henry, remember what Jesus said: My peace I give to you! Do not be afraid! Do not be afraid, Henry! God loves you Henry!" She knew it was true when she said it. "Do not be afraid!"

His hands stopped moving; the muscles in his face started to relax. She cupped his face with her hands. "Henry, I love you! Don't be afraid!" she whispered. She could see he started to breathe with more ease again.  
Even though he didn't wake up, she could see the fear was passing and he relaxed again.  
She kissed his face from pure relief. "Thank you God!" she whispered.

For a while Frankie kept observing Henry, seeing how he was now peacefully sleeping, undisturbed.  
She herself slowly calmed down as well and finally sleep started to come. Without further thinking she turned off the light and lay down next to him, keeping his hand in hers. Soon she was asleep.

* * *

Henry woke up the next morning a bit confused. He felt rested, but he could vividly remember his dark dreams. The memory of the dread that had filled his mind, was still fresh. He also remembered hearing Frankie's voice in his dreams. Pleading for him to wake up, when he wasn't able to. Was it a dream?

Before he opened his eyes, he knew she was there. His hand was tangled with hers and her feet were touching his calves. He turned slightly around and saw her peacefully asleep.  
So she had been really there! Of course she had. He had heard her voice. He remembered her words, her voice, but it had been as if someone else had been saying it with her. 'Henry, I love you! Don't be afraid. My peace I give to you.' She had spoken the same words as Jesus had.  
After that he knew nothing; the rest of the night he must have slept calmly.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he said, trying not to wake Frankie up.  
Mary came in and he signalled her to be quiet.  
She came to his side of the bed.  
"Morning. I just wanted to check if you're alright. I heard some noise last night?"  
"Another nightmare. I'm sorry if I woke you up!"  
"Not you. I didn't hear you. I heard Frankie and she sounded rather desperate. Trying to wake you up or so."  
Frankie stirred but didn't wake up.  
He nodded. "Because of my nightmare I think."  
"Also I wanted to wish you luck for your appointment today!"  
Henry grimaced. "Thank you! I hope it will be ok."  
Mary sounded genuinely caring: "I hope so too. It's time it got sorted out!"  
He merely nodded.  
"Well, it's time for me to go to work. You've got the luxury of a lie-in." She glanced towards Frankie with a suspicious grin.  
"See you guys tonight I guess."  
Henry said goodbye and Mary walked out again.  
Five minutes later he heard the front door closing behind her.

Henry had closed his eyes again. He didn't feel ready yet for the day. His appointment was at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. That gave him the whole morning to be nervous about it. In an attempt to get his mind off it, he turned around as well as he could, given that his hand was firmly captured in hers.  
He smiled to himself. He loved this about Frankie. Both of them found assurance and comfort in holding hands.  
He thought about the first time, back in Portsmouth, that she had taken his hand and had stroked it. He wasn't sure why she had done it. As if she had tried to examine her feelings through it.  
Later, in the hospital and on their walks that weekend, they had held hands more often and it had been a sign of their growing friendship that she had asked for it. But it had comforted them as well.

He looked at her face. She was so beautiful, even when slightly dishevelled from sleep! He was so grateful for her love! The fact that she wanted to be with him, even after all his awful behaviour, was beyond comprehension. He reached his hand out to gently smooth her hair from her face.  
That made her open her eyes and they lit up as soon as she saw his eyes on her. He continued to caress her face, his eyes focused on her. He knew all his love would be visible in his eyes. And he saw her answer in hers.  
He leaned in closer to kiss her.  
"I wish I could always wake up like this," he whispered against her lips when he paused for a moment.  
"Me too," was a slightly breathless answer.

Then she pulled back, letting go of his hand.  
"How… did you sleep?" she asked.  
"You refer to my nightmare I guess?" He sighed. "I don't even know if it was a proper nightmare. For it started when I thought I was still awake. It was as if fear came down as a blanket. It was black and I couldn't escape it. I couldn't do anything about it! I heard you asking me to wake up, but I couldn't. I felt paralysed. Then I heard your other words and they seemed to break the oppression. I felt I could breathe again and I could think again. I felt that same peace as before and I think it helped me because I can't remember anything after that, so I must have slept properly the rest of the night." He sat up.

"What about you, love?"  
"I couldn't sleep at first as my mind was too busy and then I somehow could see you toss and turn and I saw that black thing coming down on you, in my mind! So I came to check on you and panicked because of your terror-stricken face. As you said, I tried to wake you up but couldn't; I prayed. I think God gave me calm or so and suddenly I knew what to say. About God loving you and that you shouldn't be afraid. You can't believe how relieved I was to see you settle down again. And then I fell asleep until just now."

Henry looked pensively. "Maybe it is for onlookers scarier sometimes than for the person in the middle of it, if you get what I mean."  
She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to be in your place, but seeing it and not being able to do something about it, is very difficult."  
"But you did do something about it!" He looked intently at her.  
"No I didn't, the only thing I did was pray. And that made the difference!"  
He nodded. "I guess that's true! Thank you for your prayer!"  
She kissed him. "If it helps, I will continue doing it!"

Then she got up. "Are you coming for breakfast?" she asked. "I guess Mary already left."  
"Yeah, she did," Henry said when he also got up. "She was here ten minutes ago. She wanted to wish me luck for this afternoon."  
"She was?" Frankie's eyes got big.  
"Yeah, when you were still asleep." He smiled when it dawned on him.  
"Frankie, please don't worry. She knows you've slept here before. Remember what we've said: as long as we know the truth."  
She sighed. "I know. I've no idea why, but somehow it feels like a big deal to me. I've never had a boyfriend before. Maybe I'm a bit scared?" she stopped for a moment to think. "No, not scared. Maybe I've got this old-fashioned, romantic idea of waiting until the wedding night." She coloured deeply when she looked at him. "But you don't like weddings."  
He was amazed at her confessions. "While I don't like the party, maybe I would change my mind on marriage," he said. "But, let's not talk about weddings for now. But somehow it feels like a big deal to me as well. You are special and you deserve it to be special!" Now was his time to blush. "You are worth the wait!"  
A little smile was on her lips when she said: "I only hope it won't turn into a disappointment then."  
"Not if I can help it!" he said passionately.  
She smiled at him. "I know. Now, let's have some breakfast!"

After they had eaten, they went to the supermarket for some groceries.  
When they came back, Henry felt he needed to rest a bit. He was nervous about the afternoon and he wanted to at least have enough energy to face it.  
"Henry, would you mind if I used your laptop please? I haven't got mine here and I would like to check my email." Frankie asked.  
"Of course, no problem!" He turned on the computer for her and then lay down, whilst Frankie made herself comfortable next to him, sipping a cup of tea.  
"I've hardly checked my phone the last few days and my, I've got too many messages to deal with!" She grimaced. "Will has sent a lengthy email, even though we saw him only two days ago. People on Twitter are asking where I am and too many people on YouTube are asking when my next video will come. Phew I didn't know I was so popular!"  
Henry looked at her from aside. "When was your last video? I must say I haven't checked recently."  
"I did a short one on Thursday afternoon to show a bit of the new place. They'll have to wait until the end of the week, as I haven't got my camera here.  
Hey, a message from Tom! He's back home and he says thanks for our support. That's good news!"  
She turned towards him. "Sorry Henry, you need to sleep and I keep on rambling."  
He put his hand on her arm. "Don't worry! I like hearing it! Besides, you'll notice soon enough if I'm gone." He winked.  
"Well, I will be quiet, because you need it. What time do we need to leave this afternoon?"  
He sighed involuntarily. "It's quite near the hospital. I guess if we leave at quarter past 1 we should be in time. I wish I could drive. Then we would have only had to leave at quarter to, but since that's not the case we shall have to make use of public transport."  
"Ok, well, if needed I shall wake you up in time. Now, sleep Mr Crawford," She smiled.  
"Yes Miss Price, I shall do what you ask." He laughed quietly. It was nice to discover she wasn't as shy as he had thought before. And that, in fact, she could be quite bossy. She would need that for her new job!  
He obediently closed his eyes, but for a while lay still and listened to the sounds next to him. Then he drifted off.


	14. Chapter 40-42

_These chapter are rather painful. I could cry at what Henry is going through. I hope I have written it well enough and you feel the same._

**Chapter 40**

Henry felt a knot in his stomach. His mouth was a thin line and he grabbed Frankie's hand as if it was his only lifeline. They were on the tube on the way to his appointment.  
He had only managed to sleep an hour and luckily had gained enough energy through it. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. Was it because he was afraid to get hurt again? Or the thought of having to talk about his traumatic experiences? Having to be vulnerable in front of a stranger? He had to admit that once he had let his guard down with Frankie, allowed himself to be vulnerable before her, he had felt free. He realised how tiring it was to have to keep up appearances all the time. He was so grateful that he had one person now with whom he could be himself, the best person! But to open up in front of a stranger, was not something he looked forward to, no matter that it was a professional who would be able to help him.

Frankie looked up at him with a reassuring smile. She squeezed his hand but said nothing. He was thankful for that. He was in no mood for talking at the moment.

They arrived ten minutes early and the waiting was agonising. Henry fidgeted with his hands, not being able to sit still. Until Frankie caught both of his hands with a surprising strength. She bent over slightly towards him, but the words she whispered were not for him. "Jesus," she said. "We ask for your peace once more. Henry is very nervous although we know this appointment and the ones to follow are to make him better. I ask for peace and reassurance that all will be alright." She smiled shyly at him. "I'm beginning to get used to this!" Then she continued: "I was just thinking… they often say something needs to get worse before it gets better. Like a wound that needs to be cleaned before it can heal properly. Not to discourage you, but somehow I think there might be more pain to come, before you get better." She looked concerned at him. "I wish it weren't so, but maybe it's better to be prepared. I hope I will be wrong! But whatever is to come, please know that I'm here for you."  
He allowed a weak smile. "Thank you love. That certainly cheers me up." He grimaced. "But you might be right and it's better to be prepared. So thanks for your support!" He kissed her, feeling a little bit better.

The appointment proved to be challenging, to say the least. He had to tell how he got there, stating everything that had happened for the past few weeks. Thanks to his little misstep and the consequences of it last Friday, he wasn't allowed anymore sleeping aids.  
Thankfully he only briefly had to tell about his mum's passing and the trauma that followed. But he was asked to write down as much as he could remember in the following week. Also he was to document his nightmares and flashbacks as well as his fears and causes that might trigger it.

By the end of the hour Henry was physically and emotionally exhausted.  
"Did you come on your own?" asked the psychiatrist.  
"No, my girlfriend came with me," he answered.  
"Would you allow me to talk to her for a moment?"  
Henry nodded. "By all means."  
Frankie entered and was introduced.  
"Miss Price," the doctor said, "I have asked Mr Crawford to write down his experiences from the past and his present problems, such as his nightmares. In that way I can give a better assessment at our next appointment and it will also help him if he vents his emotions in the right way. Would you be able to assist in this if needed?"  
Frankie nodded.  
"Also, based on what Mr Crawford has told me, it is very likely that today or tomorrow will see a relapse. It is my experience that a first appointment like this often triggers that. However, since we don't want last Friday's situation repeated I cannot prescribe him sleeping tablets. Should you need assistance, do not hesitate to contact us.  
That's it for today. At the reception desk you can book an appointment for next week." He shook their hands. "Goodbye Mr Crawford, Miss Price."

* * *

Frankie had taken a book with her to pass the time while Henry was having his appointment. But she couldn't concentrate at all. All her thoughts were focused on the man she loved. She hoped all was going well. She didn't know what to expect. She allowed a quick grin when she thought about how psychiatrists were always portrayed in films and fiction. She was certain that wasn't the right picture.  
But how it would be she didn't know.

After about 45 minutes of reading the same page over and over, fretting over and praying for Henry – which became more and more easy to do – she was invited in.  
Henry looked drained, his face ashen. Her heart hurt for him.  
She was introduced to the doctor, who was a relatively young man with a friendly but professional look.  
He asked her to support Henry in his task to write down his memories and nightmares, which she readily agreed to. It saddened her when she heard about the possibility of a relapse. And looking at Henry right now, this was almost certain to happen.  
They were to make an appointment for next week, which they did. Frankie saw Henry mechanically do what was needed, putting the date and time on the calendar of his phone. They were also given a printout which had the phone number they could use in case something went wrong.

Henry seemed hardly aware of his surroundings when they came outside.  
"Maybe we should take a taxi," she said.  
He nodded. With a far-off voice he said. "Yeah, I don't feel like being in the tube right now."  
Twenty minutes later they were home.  
Henry looked so exhausted that he hardly seemed to notice that she supported him to his bed. He passed out almost immediately.

He seemed to sleep quite peacefully at first so after five minutes she left him to get herself some tea and to wash the dishes.  
Then she made herself comfortable on the bed next to him. She decided to practise some drawing, since she probably wouldn't be able to concentrate on a book.  
Henry started to get restless, tossing and turning, but not waking up. Frankie took his hand in hers, gently caressing it. This calmed him down for a while.  
However, his restlessness increased.  
Frankie wasn't sure if she should wake him up.  
She abandoned her drawing and started to stroke his forehead, which was clammy with sweat. He grabbed her hand with force and held it tightly. Frankie felt a bit trapped now, with both her hands sequestered in his. He moved around which made her position even more uncomfortable.  
Carefully she managed to get one of her hands free.  
An expression of pain came on his face.  
She decided it was better to wake his up, for this wasn't giving him any rest anyway.  
"Henry," she said gently, "Wake up, love!"  
She had to repeat it a few times, before he opened his eyes, looking bewildered. "What?" was his response.  
"You were having a nightmare, I think."  
He rubbed his eyes. He nodded slowly.  
"Yeah, that wasn't nice. Thanks for waking me up."

All of a sudden she saw him look at his hand which was still holding onto hers quite forcefully. When he released it Frankie gave a gasp, before she started to stretch it.  
He looked guilty.  
"I'm so sorry love!" He took her hand again and kissed it, before gently rubbing it, which relieved the pain a bit.  
Frankie grimaced. "You don't know your own strength."  
He pointed at her sketchpad.  
"Were you drawing?" he asked.  
"Yeah! My teacher said I should practice," she answered with a grin.  
She showed him the results and they chatted a bit, until Henry started to withdraw. He rubbed his eyes and with a pained look on his face he said, "Sorry, but I'm still feeling tired."

She only nodded and soon he was gone again. Unfortunately, it didn't take long, before once more he got restless. The pattern repeated itself, in which she managed to calm him down for a while until he got agitated again.  
Frankie was getting a bit exasperated; it was painful to just watch, but she didn't know how she could help him.

When he had calmed down a little, she got up, really needing the bathroom. Longing for a breath of fresh air, she went outside and stood for a while on the patio. She felt frustrated and worried, and helpless. 'God,' she thought, 'how can I help him? I don't know what to do anymore!' Going back inside she started to pace the living room. The bedroom door was open and she could see Henry's struggle. 'Jesus, what do I do?' Her thoughts were interrupted by something that sounded like a growl. Started, she turned back to Henry.

**Chapter 41**

The time at the psychiatrist had exhausted him more than he had imagined and Henry wasn't sure why. His emotions were all over the place, his mind was full of pictures and words, but he wasn't able to focus on any of it.  
Somehow they had managed to get home. Vaguely he recalled being in a car, the surroundings passing in a blur.  
At home he felt Frankie gently, but determined, guiding him to his bed.  
He just collapsed on it and then nothing.

Until his dreams caught up and his mind became a whirlwind of voices, pictures, emotions. He tried to shake it off, but to no avail.  
A gentle pressure was on his hand and he calmed down a bit. But his mind wouldn't give up and he continued more and more restless.  
A gentle voice called him. "Henry, wake up love!"  
He opened his eyes, not sure if he really had heard that. "What?" he managed.  
Then he saw Frankie's eyes on him.  
"You were having a nightmare, I think!" she said.  
He slowly nodded, rubbing his eyes.  
"Yeah, that wasn't nice. Thanks for waking me up."  
Then he noticed he was holding her hand quite forcefully. He released and Frankie gave a gasp, before she started to stretch it.  
Guilt swept over his face.  
"I'm so sorry love!" He took her hand again and kissed it, before gently rubbing it.  
Frankie grimaced. "You don't know your own strength."  
He noticed the sketch pad next to her.  
"Were you drawing?" he asked.  
"Yeah! My teacher said I should practice," she answered with a grin.  
She showed him the results and they chatted a bit, until he felt drifting off. He rubbed his eyes and with a pained look on his face he said, "Sorry, but I'm still feeling tired."  
He lay down again and soon slept.

Nothingness was alternated with restlessness.

Pain. Fear. Words, pictures, frustration. More fear.

He felt caught up in a spiralling whirlwind. Unable to get out.

Faces. Feelings. More frustration. Anger. Pain. He felt boiling over.

Rage.

He roared. All his emotions came out. He growled again and again.

It woke him up.  
From the corner of his eyes, he saw Frankie's face, frightened and worried. But he couldn't do anything about it yet.  
His whole body tense, he growled again. And again. He was so full of emotions; this was the only way he could get rid of it.

"Henry, say something," her voice was thick with worry.  
He could only shake his head. Not yet. He didn't know what to say.  
"Please! I want to help you."  
"No!" was all he could manage. It still sounded like a growl.  
She recoiled as if he had slapped her.  
Guilt washed over him.  
"I don't want to hurt you," his voice sounded rough.  
"You're hurting me already, whether you talk or not." Somehow tears were streaming down her face.

She gave him paper and a pen. Confused he looked at her until it dawned on him.  
For a minute he stared at the paper and then started to write without thinking.

Words. Fragments. Unconnected. Gradually sentences. Emotions. Faster and faster. Frantically putting his pain into words.

After a while the letters seemed to dance on the paper. His vision was blurred. Only then he realised he was crying. He dropped the pen and paper and after another growl, he was pulled into Frankie's arms. He sobbed until there were no tears left.

* * *

Mary's greeting stuck in her throat when she entered the house. She heard a roar, full of agony. What was going on? Through the open bedroom door, she could see her brother roaring again and again. Frankie looked scared and worried.

She couldn't stop staring at what happened until Henry broke down in Frankie's arms.

She truly felt sorry for both of them.

* * *

Frankie vaguely registered her t-shirt getting wetter and wetter. Hers and Henry's tears mingled. Her heart ached and with all her might she wished to absorb his pain. She held him tight, stroking his back. Gradually his sobbing started to subside. She continued holding him until she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around a bit, she saw Mary, her eyes full of concern, with two glasses of water and to wet facecloths. Frankie felt grateful for her care!  
Henry slowly let go of her and both of them wiped their tear-stricken faces.  
"Thank you," rasped Henry's voice when he accepted the glass of water from his sister.  
She nodded. "Is there anything else I can do?" she asked.  
They both shook their head.  
"Thank you, Mary!" Frankie said. Mary turned around and left.

Henry leaned back onto the headboard.  
He cleared his throat.  
"Sorry Frankie!"  
She looked surprised.  
"What for?"  
"For shouting at you. I didn't mean to."  
"I know. You were upset. I understand!"  
She took his hand without realising it and started to stroke it.  
"Do you want to talk about it now?"  
He shrugged. "I feel… empty." He reached for the piece of paper.  
"Here! I don't know if it's readable at all."  
She tentatively took the paper and started to read.

At first there were loose words, sometimes barely readable. Words wove together into sentences. They didn't all make sense. It was a confused mind, forming the words.  
Some bits made her heart grow cold. It was a story which jumped from the twenty-six-year-old man to the little boy of eight, and back again.  
The eight-year-old boy, desperate in his grief, with no way to express it. Having to lock up his emotions until they spilt into raging fits. Almost losing the will to live. The man from today, almost collapsing under the weight of his trauma, such vivid memories as if it only happened yesterday.

She lowered the paper and saw his eyes anxiously on her. She closed the space between them and embraced him. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this," she whispered, crying again.  
"I don't even know what I have written." He said. "I don't think I want to read it. At least not now."  
His shoulders slumped, his energy all gone.  
"Tell me what you want me to do," she whispered.  
"Just… be with me."  
After a while she sat up and settled next to him, putting her arm around his shoulders. He leaned his head on her shoulder. They just sat until she felt him falling asleep.  
Gently she helped him to lie down.

After a while of observing him – he slept quiet, wiped out from all the emotions – she had to get up. Carefully moving off the bed to not disturb him, she left the room.  
Mary got up from the sofa, came to her and embraced her. Frankie felt her tears coming up again.  
"Oh Mary," she sobbed. "I didn't know his pain was so deep."  
Mary nodded slowly. After a while she said: "I was traumatised when my mum died and my dad left. And I know I live with the consequences until this day. But maybe I was able to grieve more back then, being a girl. Besides, I was younger so I didn't understand it all yet. But Henry's and mum's relationship was very close and I guess because he was a bit older, he understood more. And he is much more sensitive, whilst I'm more rational. He took after my mum and I after our dad." She sighed.

"Just now, he sounded like when he was a child. He regularly used to have those fits and nothing could calm him down. My uncle would send him to his room, telling him to behave." She grimaced. "I don't think he had much pocket money in that time. He would throw with things and break them and then he had to pay for it to be fixed or buy a new item."  
Frankie's laugh was a bit shaky. "Well, I'm glad he didn't break anything now. Without that it was frightening enough."

They continued talking and gradually about more pleasant memories and Frankie calmed down a bit. She did like to hear more pleasant memories about Henry as a boy.

Henry slept until well past dinner time and quite peacefully it seemed. His meltdown had knocked him out, energy-wise.  
Frankie was glad about it. Every hour of good sleep was a gain.  
When he woke up they had a late meal. Henry was quiet and seemed distant. Frankie saw he was merely playing with his food, instead of actually eating.  
She and Mary kept a conversation going.  
While Mary was doing the dishes, Henry and Frankie sat down on the sofa.  
"How are you now?" she asked.  
His voice was listless. "I don't know. Still exhausted, but I don't know if I can sleep again soon." He sighed.  
"Turn around," Frankie said. He looked confused but followed her motion. She started to massage his back and shoulders, which were tense from the outburst earlier. Gradually he started to relax. He leaned back and turned his head around to kiss her. "I love you," he whispered. She put her arms around his neck and for a while they sat comfortably together, cherishing the closeness.

* * *

Again Henry felt himself dozing off. Frankie seemed to notice and after some manoeuvring they were both comfortable and he slept once more.  
He woke up a bit disorientated. He was not in his bed.  
"Hi sleepy-head," Frankie said. "Shall we relocate to bed or are you too awake now?"  
He sat up a bit more so Frankie could stand up. She stretched.  
It was almost midnight.  
He yawned. Suddenly he felt hungry.  
"I'm gonna have some toast first. You want some too?"  
Ten minutes later they were sitting at the kitchen table, eating and talking.  
Frankie looked a bit worried.  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
"Well, I have to go back to the Antigua tomorrow. But I don't really want to leave you like this. I was thinking…"  
"I could come with you? I'm only going back to work on Monday after all."  
She smiled relieved. "That was my idea too."  
They settled that they would leave the next morning by train. Henry didn't feel like he could drive yet.  
After that they got ready for bed and soon they found themselves once more next to each other, snuggled together in his bed.

"Can you believe I'm still tired? As if I hadn't slept at all the rest of the day already." He grimaced. "I hope it won't be like that every week after have a session at the psychiatrist's."  
"It's supposed to get better," she said. "So don't be discouraged. Take it one day at the time."  
He smiled. "Thanks love, I'll try."  
"Henry?" she said hesitatingly. "Mary told me you used to have fits of aggression when you were a child. She said your eh, outburst from earlier reminded her of it. You also wrote about it."  
"Did I? I had forgotten about it! But now you mention it, yes I did. Thinking about it makes me feel ashamed. Not that I feel like I had a choice, but I have been awful." He showed her the knuckles on his right hand. "See that scar? That was a door." He grimaced when he remembered how it had happened.

"So, when did it stop?" she absentmindedly stroked the scar on his hand.  
He had to think for a while.  
"I think gradually. When I was nine I decided to not let 'them' get to me. My uncle I mean, and the children at school, and the teachers who would discipline me for misbehaving. And one afternoon, instead of letting myself being sent to my room, I escaped and ran all the way to the park, which was about twenty minutes away. Don't worry, I was allowed to go there on my own." He briefly smiled, looking at Frankie.

"During those twenty minutes I felt better and better and after spending half an hour in the park and then running back home, I was totally calmed down again. I found that running helped me, so that's what I did next time when I felt a rage coming up. And then I started doing it, just because I liked it. So I guess running helped me with it!"

Frankie nodded.  
"I recall how it helped me a few weeks ago. Do you remember?"  
He smiled again. "Yes I do remember!"  
Then she said: "So, if you had been able to run today, would you have felt better?"  
"I guess," he answered. "It definitely made it worse for me that I'm not physically fit and maybe I felt trapped, not being able to get rid of my frustration."

She started reaching for the light switch.  
"Well, let's hope and try to get you in better shape soon, so you can run again!" With that, she turned off the light.  
"Frankie?" he asked, "shall we pray?"  
He didn't see it of course, but he rather felt she nodded.  
Their hands intertwined, Frankie said: "Jesus, I know it's not a magic formula or so, but I do want to ask you for peace for this night. Thank you that we survived the first appointment at the psychiatrist's."  
Henry added: "Yes, and I'm thankful for Frankie, for I don't know how I would have survived without her." Here he received a poke from her.  
"Frankie I'm serious about this. And I'm so thankful for having you in my life!" With his hands he felt his way to her face and then kissed her.  
"Anyway, God, I would like a good sleep tonight. For you probably know how exhausted I am! And I thank you for your care for us! I hardly know you, but I definitely have noticed your care for us! So thanks!"

They were quiet for a while. Henry thought Frankie must have fallen asleep, but then she said:  
"Henry, did you mean that really?"  
"What?"  
"About not surviving without me?"  
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.  
"Yes, I think so! This afternoon I felt so desperate, I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there."  
He felt her shiver.  
"I could read that in your letter. Henry, I think life is never without hope! We may be merely surviving at the moment, but I believe there's life after trauma!" He could almost feel her smile in his direction.  
The way she said the word 'we' reminded him of what she had said earlier that day.  
"Frankie? I believe this afternoon you said I was hurting you, whether I talked about what was going on or not. I'm so sorry! I don't want to cause you pain."  
"You already apologised for that! I understand and I forgive you!"  
"But what did you mean?"  
"I don't want to sound pathetic, but I do feel your pain and everything in me wishes I could take it away from you! If I don't know what hurts you, if you don't talk about it, I feel the pain without knowing why. And then I don't know what I can do about it.  
So please talk, if you can! As they say: trouble shared is trouble halved. To throw in a cliché."  
He couldn't help laughing a bit.  
He admired that in her. No matter how grave a situation, she always managed to lighten the mood a bit with a witty comment.  
Then he said: "I will try to get better, so you won't hurt anymore! And I will try to share with you, as I hope you do with me!"  
"I will, love! Now, sleep well!"  
He gave her a tender goodnight-kiss.  
They soon were asleep.

**Chapter 42**

_Another painful episode in this chapter_

At the beginning of the next afternoon Henry found himself looking at a strange yet familiar place. While he never had been to the Antigua before, he had seen detailed photos and blueprints, so he felt he knew every corner of the beautiful old building.  
Upon entering the foyer, Frankie was greeted by various people.  
The place was quite busy, with the renovations still going on.  
Frankie took him to her room. Upon opening the door, he whistled in surprise. "Wow. That looks much better than your little attic room at Mansfield!"  
She smiled. "Yes definitely. I really like it!"  
The room was quite big and had its own bathroom adjacent. It also had a little lounge corner with a TV. Frankie had managed to put most of her things away on the previous Thursday so the place really felt like hers even though it looked different.  
Then she said: "I need to go and check what's on the planning for tomorrow. Why don't you make yourself comfortable?!" she smiled.  
He did just that and soon was stretched upon Frankie's bed.  
The journey had exhausted him.  
He was glad the night had been uneventful and he had felt rested this morning. However, the journey had been quite long, with various changes. He never liked public transport and in this state it was even worse.  
Despite it being a strange bed, he soon fell asleep.

When he woke up, Frankie was sitting on the sofa, reading a book.  
For a while he just observed her until he shifted and she looked up towards him. Smiling at him, she said: "Hello you! How are you doing?"  
He sat up. "A lot better! I was just so tired from the journey. But your bed is quite comfortable so I feel much better now!"  
He stood up and walked towards her, enveloping her in his arms.  
"I feel I have enough energy for a tour through the house. And the gardens maybe." He smiled.  
She got up immediately.  
"Yeah, that's a good idea."  
For some hours they wandered around. Frankie was an enthusiastic guide and he liked being introduced to other staff that were in the hotel. After some tea they went outside.  
The grounds were very different from those of Mansfield Park, but they had their own charm and it was great explore them together with Frankie. She hadn't had much time yet before, so a lot of it was new to her as well.  
Henry was exhausted again when they finally re-entered the house.  
"Shall I get us dinner at my room?" Frankie asked.  
He was grateful for her offer. "Yes please. I don't think I have the energy to see or talk to other people."  
They had a nice, quiet mealtime but after that, Henry soon wanted to lie down to sleep, which he did.

At ten o'clock he woke up again, a bit confused as to where he was. The room was silent. Sitting up he saw Frankie on the sofa. When he realised she was sleeping, he felt some guilt about having taken her bed.  
Quietly he walked towards her, but no matter how quiet, she woke up.  
"Sorry love, for taking up your bed," he said.  
She smiled. "Don't worry. I could have gone next door. I commandeered that room for you, but I didn't want you to wake up and have no idea of where I'd gone."  
She stood up and he followed her to the neighbouring room. She had not only put his bag there, but had made the room look nice and cosy.  
He turned to face her. "You're amazing!" he said, and kissed her.  
"I know," she said in a mock tone. "But I'm glad you like it."  
She turned around to leave and said: "I'll be back in five."  
He got himself ready for bed and made himself comfortable. Soon she was back and – like their custom at home in London – she sat next to him and they talked.

Henry loved having this time together before sleeping. They always had things to talk about, even though they had been spending most of the day together. And they prayed and tried to explore their bible a bit more, which proved a challenge. There was a lot in it and the language was quite formal, which made it harder to understand sometimes. Reading about the life of Jesus was fascinating. The book they had been given helped with questions they had.

If not for his trauma, he would have been perfectly happy, with the girl he loved, discovering more and more about the God who loved him. But then he thought, if not for his trauma, he might not have discovered God. For it was during his lowest moments that God's presence was felt most and his words really sunk in.  
They prayed and then kissed each other good night.  
Henry was sorry to see Frankie leave. But again, he wasn't long enough awake to really dwell on it much. He soon slept, as if he hadn't been sleeping for most of the evening already.

Because of all that sleep he found himself wake up really early the next day, so he used the opportunity to try for a run. Although he didn't manage far, for his legs started to hurt, he felt happy again. The autumn morning was beautiful and there were many nice paths and tracks around the Antigua to explore.  
He found Frankie back and ready, if only slightly nervous, for her first real working day in the new place.  
They had a quick breakfast together and then she was off. She had explained all the things that still had to be done before the hotel was able to open in about two-and-a-half weeks' time. Mr Bertram had planned it this way so they would start receiving guests in the half-term break.

The builders were still working under the guidance of some of Henry's own colleagues. Rooms were still being decorated and each time a room would be finished the Antigua team would furnish it. Frankie had shown him that the dining room was still under construction and in the coming weeks she had to head up a team and together they would have to purchase kitchen supplies, crockery, linens for kitchen, bathrooms and bedrooms and then put everything into place. Mr Bertram had asked her assistance in hiring other household staff, as he thought she would know what to look for. Frankie hadn't said it, but Henry had seen that she felt a bit uncomfortable with this, since only a few weeks ago, she had been one of them.

Henry was proud of her and was certain of her capability to lead a team and to choose people to make up that team. She knew what was needed and expected and was determined to have a team that worked well together and where the relationships between members would be good. He knew she was anxious to not have so much as a trace of Mrs Norris' behaviour present.

After he did some reading, he decided to have a wander around in the building. Now and then chatting with people, he found his way to Frankie's office. She smiled when he came in. She was on the phone, so he didn't disturb her. There was a little seating area with some comfortable chairs, where he happily sat down. Finding some paper and a pencil on her desk, he started to doodle. It always seemed to help him to focus his thoughts.

Then a flashback happened, one of the horrible memories. Somehow his hands pictured what his mind saw. When he looked at the paper, he saw he had drawn his fist, half buried in the door, splinters sticking out, blood dripping off.  
His uncle and aunt had actually been really worried and had hurried him to the hospital. Despite his pain he had kicked and screamed, not wanting to enter that building again, for the memories of his mother being there were still very fresh.

Absentmindedly he rubbed the scar.

He hadn't been able to hold a pencil – or anything for that matter – for weeks after that.  
Even though his uncle had been uncommonly kind in the weeks following, the incident had caused what he believed to be his absolute lowest point.

His mind buried in the awful events of the past, his hands just kept drawing.

He had not been able to express his anger and pain in that time. He couldn't run because of his hand, he couldn't draw, and throwing a fit only made him nauseous. And he couldn't sleep well either, now not only because of his nightmares, but also because of pain and discomfort. Not having an outlet to get rid of his emotions, he had withdrawn and let it fester (not that he had known that at the time).

One evening he had felt he couldn't deal with it anymore. Ignoring his hand, he opened his roof window.  
Some months before he had explored it, as an adventure, and found he was able to climb onto the roof and it was a place where he sort of felt free, being able to look down on the rest of the world. He was glad none of his family knew about this.

This time however it wasn't because of the adventure. It was dark and cold, yet he couldn't care less about that. Slowly making his way onto the roof he had been just sitting on his usual spot for a while. The pain and desperation he felt were so deep, he thought he might just follow his mum and be rid of it all. He couldn't live this way any longer.  
Yet, somehow, he had hesitated. He had eyed the corner of the roof. How would it feel to fly?

That moment was the first time he had heard the voice of Jesus, telling him how loved he was, promising to be with him. And giving him the peace he so needed.  
Carefully he had made his way back inside, into his bed and had actually slept well that night for the first time in weeks.

He was aroused from his thoughts by Frankie's gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw his own pain in her eyes. Then he looked at all the sketches in front of him and put his hand in front of his mouth.

_A.N Please tell me what you think of my story so far! There is still a lot to come. (I have written the whole story, but uploading it takes quite a bit of time)_


	15. Chapter 43-45

**Chapter 43**

Frankie had been busy since breakfast. It was a bit daunting actually. Mr Bertram had given her a budget and within that budget she had to order everything needed for the kitchen as well as bedrooms etc.  
She had been making lists and was now on the phone with a company that provided linens for hotels and restaurants, to ask for a quote.  
After a soft knock, Henry stepped in. She smiled at him.  
She had shown him her office, and, hoping she wouldn't get too distracted, had said that he could pop in if he liked. (unless she was in a meeting of course.)  
She saw him soon relaxed in one of the comfy chairs, doodling away.  
After her phone call was finished, she went onto other things.

She had looked at Henry every now and then, not being able to resist, but suddenly she sensed it again.  
She saw his far away, pained look; but also noticed his hand and pencil moving fast over the paper. It almost seemed as if he didn't notice he was drawing.  
For a while she sat still, observing him. When his distress seemed to increase, she got up and walked towards him. He didn't seem to notice.  
Before she touched him, her eyes fell on his drawings and they made her shudder.  
She put her hand on his shoulder and, slightly bewildered, he looked up at her.  
So much pain in his eyes. Then he seemed to notice the sketches as well and truly seemed shocked.

She almost didn't dare to speak.  
"Henry?"  
He took her hand and guided her to sit on his lap. The other chair would be too much distance and she wanted to be as close to him as possible.  
"I…," he stammered. "it's just a memory."  
She picked up the sheets one by one.  
The one on the bottom looked a bit gory. She took his hand in hers and stroked the scar while looking him in the eyes.  
He merely nodded.  
The next pictures seemed a succession of things that happened after that.  
Prominent was the bandaged hand.  
The last picture made her heart cold.

A little boy was sitting on the roof, next to an open window, longingly looking towards the edge of the roof. Henry had drawn a little bird right on that edge, on its point to fly off.  
She embraced him fiercely and cried. She could feel he was crying too.  
After a while she slowly let go.  
"What… happened after that?" she gestured at the last sketch.  
"It was the first time I heard Jesus. He told me he loved me and that he would always be with me. Somehow it gave me a sliver of hope, so I went back inside. I… The bird never tried to fly again." The last bit sounded a bit strange, but Frankie understood his meaning. Again she hugged him tightly and couldn't help kissing his face.  
A little smile appeared on his face. "Frankie, what on earth are you doing?" his eyes twinkled a bit.  
Still tears in her eyes, she answered: "I'm just glad you're here for me to kiss."  
He stroked her back and she felt comforted by it.  
"How are you now?" she asked.  
"Ok, I guess. Somehow it helped, processing the memory this way."  
She grimaced. "Dr Johnson will want to see these." She motioned at the sketches.  
He nodded.

When she got up, there was a knock on the door.  
"Who is it?" Frankie called.  
"Mr Bertram."  
"Oh, please come in."  
The door opened and in stepped Mr Bertram.  
His eyes went straight to Henry.  
"Ah, Crawford. I didn't know you were here."  
"Mr. Bertram," greeted Henry. "Frankie invited me here."  
Frankie felt herself colour. She hoped Mr Bertram wouldn't criticise her. He might think she would get too distracted from her work.  
"Ah. Well, good to see you again, Henry!" Then he seemed to see their faces; it was probably visible that they had been crying.  
"Are you two alright? No problems I hope?"  
"Getting there," said Henry, a bit uncomfortable.  
He stood up and gathered his sketches.  
"Frankie, I think I'm going for a walk now."  
He gave her a quick kiss and his eyes communicated what he couldn't say in front of Mr Bertram. Then he left the room.  
Frankie and Mr Bertram sat down.  
"Are you ok?" Mr Bertram asked again.  
Frankie saw his concern and decided that he needed to know a bit. At least to explain why Henry was here, keeping her from her work.  
"Henry is going through a trauma. I'm sure Ed told that he ended up in hospital last Friday?" Mr Bertram nodded.  
"His… childhood was traumatic after his mum died. Somehow seeing Tom in the hospital triggered the memories and after not having dealt with them in the past, he's getting it all now.  
On Tuesday he had his first session with a psychiatrist. It was… difficult. And I think some of the worst memories were released by it." Frankie couldn't help herself; she felt tears on her face again when she thought about his drawings.  
"After all this, I couldn't leave him suffer alone. He has to work next week, but I hope by then things will have calmed down a little bit. But for now I hope it's ok to have him here."  
Mr Bertram nodded empathetically.  
"Yes, of course. I understand how important this is. Don't worry about it! If it helps, he may stay here as often as he wants. I only hope that you still manage to do your work alright. Are you ok to talk now?"  
She nodded. "Yes of course. No problem. And, thank you!" she allowed a smile.  
"Let me know if there's anything I can help you with!"  
After that they went to work and for an hour they talked business.

Frankie saw Henry for lunch. He told her about his exploring of the area and she told him about her conversation with Mr Bertram.  
Then she saw him again at the end of the afternoon, when she went to her room. He lay stretched upon her bed, sound asleep it seemed. Next to him was a writing pad full of scribbled notes and some more sketches.  
She got changed out of her work clothes into something more comfortable and then was startled when the notepad fell on the floor. Henry had shifted and now was looking at her.  
She blushed.  
"Hi sleepy-head. How are you doing?"  
He smiled appreciatively but only said: "Well rested." He reached to pick up the writing pad from the floor and then said with a sigh:  
"As Dr Johnson had asked, I started to write down my story. It has been… painful. I don't think I've come far yet, but it's exhausting. I will probably need a few more days to finish. Some things I hadn't even remembered until I wrote them down."  
She smiled. "It's a good thing then, that you still have a week."  
"Also," he hesitated, "I hope he won't mind, but sometimes I find it easier to draw it than to write."  
She patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sure he doesn't mind. Your pictures do speak for themselves most of the time anyway."  
He looked a bit relieved.  
Then she said: "I think I will be doing a video tonight. Do you want to be part of it? You don't have to. If not, I will just talk about the Antigua and maybe my drawing lessons." She winked at him.  
He was silent for a while.  
"Yes, I think I should be in it. While I find it scary to share about everything, since the other time, people have been really kind and supportive and have been asking how I'm doing.  
I'll try to not take up too big a part of your video."  
Frankie smiled. "I don't mind. You're a big part of my life anyway." That earned her a long, loving kiss.

**Chapter 44**

After dinner they sat down with the camera. Henry was a bit nervous.  
He knew he could back out if he wanted to. But when he thought about all the encouraging messages he had been receiving, he thought at least he should try.

Frankie started.

"Hi Will. And everyone else. Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all the nice messages that you have been sending. Today was my first day at work at the Antigua. If today was an indication, then the coming two weeks will be very busy. A lot still has to be done before we can open in two-and-a-half weeks' time. But I really like it to be part of starting up a new place. What we're doing you ask? Well, basically furnishing the whole place. I've got some trips to Ikea and John Lewis to look forward to." She grimaced. "Luckily there is internet shopping as well. Also, we're still hiring new staff and Mr Bertram has asked my help in the selection, which feels a bit… daunting, but nice as well, since I will have to work closely with these people.  
I'll try to keep you updated in the coming weeks about how things are going."

She stopped and turned towards Henry.  
He swallowed.  
"Do you want me to talk now?" he asked.  
She smiled at him.  
"Only if you want to. You don't have to."  
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

He cleared his throat.

"Hello everyone. Me again. I don't really know where to begin. Ah, thanks for all the lovely messages, after my last appearance on these videos. Anyone who knows me a bit knows I don't like sharing things that make me feel vulnerable. But it seems that life is making me do it all the time at the moment anyway.  
Since Frankie's last video she has been with me in London for some days, because I did something stupid which ended me up in hospital last Friday."  
Here Frankie interrupted him. "Not stupid, love."  
"Objectively speaking it was stupid. Although I know I couldn't really help it.  
It's like this," he continued to the camera. "As I told the last time, I am having nightmares and because of that I was prescribed sleeping tablets for a week. They worked really well, for they truly knocked me out for the night. On the Thursday I had the last tablet and – simply put – on Friday I freaked out about having to face my nightmares again. I… wanted to numb my fears and…" his voice faltered when he thought back about it. He was ashamed of it, even though he knew he couldn't help what he had done.  
"Well, I got myself some strong drink, which actually started to work really quick. What I had not realised was that I wasn't supposed to have alcohol for at least 24 hours since I had had a sleeping aid. Trust me: do not combine alcohol and sleeping tablets! Apparently it nearly killed me!"

He had to stop again. He felt the squeeze in his hand and saw tears in Frankie's eyes.  
Then she said: "I think those were the scariest hours of my life. Thinking of the possibility of losing you was awful."  
Henry put his arm around her and she leaned against him.  
Then he continued. "So, at the hospital I guess they tried to get my heart-rate back to normal and kept an eye on me until the next morning.  
This might have seemed a little slide, but I'm still feeling the consequences. This whole week I've been feeling tired and weak. I've never slept so much during the day I think.  
And then Tuesday came." He grimaced. "I had a first appointment at a… psychiatrist. After that the… regress hit very hard. My deepest point in the past few weeks I think. If not for Frankie being there for me all the time, I'm not sure if I would have survived."  
He received the nudge again. She didn't like it when he said that.  
"Please Henry," she sounded so serious that he had to look.  
She had tears in her eyes again.

"I know your intentions with saying it are those of thanks or so. And I am glad I was there etc. But it almost feels like a burden to me. You know I would do anything for you. But at the same time it almost feels like too big a responsibility. What if I failed? Realistically speaking, I won't be with you 24 hours a day. You have your work and I have mine. If you unconsciously put on me that I would almost be your lifeline, I would never forgive myself if anything did go wrong." She drew a shaky breath.  
"I don't really know how to say it; I hope you understand."

He understood what she meant. He was beyond grateful for everything she'd done for him. But it wasn't her task to keep him alive.  
He repeated his thoughts and she nodded. That was what she meant.  
"Frankie, as I've said before, I don't want you to hurt! Not if I can help it! So, if your pain comes from seeing me in pain, I will try to get better and work on my recovery."  
He kissed her shortly, when she stopped him. He looked questioningly at her. "Henry, pain is inevitable in life. You can't prevent me from getting hurt. Neither can I the other way around. I just wish we share each other's burdens and work things out together." This time she did answer his kiss.

Then she turned embarrassed towards the camera. "We'll edit this out." Then she continued the story: "Anyway, now we're both at the Antigua. Henry took a week off work and hopefully recovers a bit here. It's nice and quiet if you ignore the building work." She grimaced.  
"Time to sign off. Until next time!"

She turned off the camera.  
A long embrace followed. Neither of them said anything, they just held each other.  
Then he said: "I think you should leave it all in. As much as it scares me. I don't think I regret what I've said."  
She nodded. "Ok, I will."

* * *

The first half of the night Henry slept peacefully.  
Then he dreamt. The dream was so vivid he almost could feel the cold night breeze on his face and the stinging of the wound on his hand. The dark night felt closing in as if it was a living being. It sunk in, until his heart felt black as well. Despair was black. And he couldn't escape it. He moved closer to the edge of the roof. It equally scared and attracted him. He wondered if his mum would be waiting for him. What would she say? It made him feel worse. A voice inside him seemed to say: 'but she left you.'  
"No, no, she couldn't help it. She wanted to live! She wants me to live!"  
Determined, he turned around to get back into the house. Then he slipped.  
He couldn't stop himself from falling over the edge, until a hand tightly gripped his.

The grip was so firm and real that he opened his eyes.  
If his nightmare hadn't been so awful, he would have laughed from embarrassment. He found himself on the floor next to his bed. Frankie stood next to him, holding his hand. She looked worried, but couldn't hide a laugh from her eyes.  
He quickly got up. "Not a word to anyone else!" he warned. "I feel quite embarrassed."  
Then he sat down with a deep sigh. The images of his dream flooded his mind.

"I… sat on that roof. I… wanted to jump. But then I thought about how my mum would react. And I couldn't do it."  
Frankie nodded. "Yes, you said that." Upon his confused reaction, she continued: "You talked in your sleep. 'she wants me to live,' you said."  
"Ah. Well, I turned around to go back in the house and I slipped. There's nothing more ironic than when you've decided to stay alive at least a bit longer and suddenly you might get an accident, thwarting your plans."

Her eyes grew big.  
"That didn't happen for real, did it?" she asked.  
He shook his head. "No, luckily not. This was my nightmare." She shuddered.  
"Anyway, somehow I managed to fall off my bed. How embarrassing!"  
She smiled. "Don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us. Do you remember I told you I once fell out of bed because of a dream?"  
He did remember. "That was after my first nightmare. When we were being discovered in the kitchen by Mrs Norris."  
They both laughed at the memory.  
"I wonder how she's doing now that she hasn't got me anymore to bully around." Frankie grimaced.  
"Well, I hope for your colleagues that she hasn't found another victim."

He yawned and then got back into bed again.  
"Will you be alright?" she asked.  
He nodded reassuringly. "I hope so. You need your sleep. Tomorrow another day!" he sighed.  
"I'm sorry that I've woken you up, again!"  
"It's ok, don't worry! Sleep well love!"

**Chapter 45**

The week had gone so fast, Frankie thought. She had been working at the Antigua for a week now! Although it would be different from her real tasks in a few weeks' time, she enjoyed her work!

On the Friday she had been working and Henry had been writing and drawing and walking in the garden. In the evening they actually watched Hamlet. Frankie could see that Henry really liked it. Although he did fall asleep halfway through. But that was due to not having slept much during the day. Frankie had paused the film. Henry had been so fast asleep on the sofa, that she had taken the duvet and had tucked him in. He had been slightly surprised when waking up the next morning.

On the Saturday they went to the town nearby. They had a nice time looking around and finding nice shops. In the afternoon they played games in her room. And in the evening they finished Hamlet. Henry was getting better. He had more energy and managed to do more during the day. But in the evening he would still be exhausted.

On the Sunday they had slept in, had breakfast in his bed and then wandered around the gardens and beyond the borders of the Antigua. Henry had shown her the tracks and paths he had been discovering the previous days. And as always, they were never out of a subject to talk about. Or when they choose so, they were quiet together.  
At the end of the afternoon Henry had to get back to London. Both found it difficult to part from each other. They had been in each other's company for more than a week on end and it would be hard to be separated. They had agreed on skyping during the week. Henry hoped he would be able to come back on Friday. As he said he was not working on Thursday and Friday because of his next appointment at the psychiatrist's.

Which was this day. Frankie had been distracted all day, thinking about him. She had called him before he would be going. She really hoped he wouldn't feel as bad as last week. He had been nervous with his story on paper as if he was at school, having to hand in an essay. She knew it had been very difficult to write everything down, but it also somehow had relieved him, finally being able to express what he had been feeling and going through.

At the end of the afternoon he called her on Skype. She saw his tired face. "How was it?" she asked.  
"I don't know. Difficult!" was his slow reaction.  
"What did you talk about?"  
"He read my story and asked questions while he was reading. I feel like he got more out of my story than I realised I had put in."  
Frankie allowed a little smile. "That's because he's a professional."  
"He… really went into my… suicidal thoughts. I guess he wanted to know if there was any chance of repetition." It hurt Frankie to hear him talking about it.  
"I could ascertain that I'm not intending to. I told him that, despite all this, I do enjoy my life now I think. I enjoy being with you. I also told him about what we said last week. You know, that I also want to improve because I don't want to hurt you.  
He said it was a good motivation.  
My homework is that I need to continue to write. He wants me to focus on my emotions. I need to write down when I feel what and why I think it is. Sounds like a daunting task." He grimaced.  
"So when's your next appointment?"  
He tried to focus his thoughts, she saw. "Eh next Thursday again I think. Now I really need to sleep a bit I think. I can hear Mary coming home now. Do you want to talk to her?"  
"Hi Henry, how are you?" Frankie heard Mary off screen.  
"Hi Sis, I'm here. Tired."  
"You're skyping? Is it Frankie? Hi Franks." Mary's face appeared behind Henry.  
"Hi Mary. You're alright? I hope you can keep an eye on him for me."  
Henry shifted a bit.  
"I'll do that for you Franks."  
Frankie smiled. She was glad Mary was there. It made her feel a bit better, despite being far away herself.  
"Are you still going to try to get here tomorrow?" she then asked Henry.  
He nodded. "Yes. This week has been way too long without being with you. Skype is not the same."  
"I know. Well, I'm looking forward to see you again. Will you call if there's anything?"  
"I will, love. Now I'm gonna try to sleep. See you soon! Love you!"  
Frankie was a little bit relieved. He looked very tired but he didn't seem as affected as last week. She really hoped that that wouldn't be repeated anymore.

At ten o'clock at night he called her again. "Please Frankie, pray with me. Talk to me. I have tried to sleep since this afternoon but those bl*dy nightmares keep coming and I'm exhausted."

She sighed. Henry sounded exasperated. She decided to try to distract him and asked about the Everingham. They had talked about that earlier in the week, but there was still a lot she didn't know. He seemed to understand why she asked about it and told her some more details. She smiled, because she noticed his enthusiasm. Even when he was tired, he loved his job and loved talking about it.  
Then she told him about her day. She noticed at first he was asking her questions, but after a while his reactions delayed. "Henry? Are you ok?"  
A big yawn. Then he said: "I guess. I might fall asleep soon now. If I don't answer anymore, you know why." After two more minutes he indeed did not reply anymore. "Sleep well, love." She said. And then she hung up.

The next morning, she woke up because her phone was ringing. With her eyes closed, she reached for it and, finally opening her eyes, she saw it was only half past six and Henry was calling her.  
"Good morning Henry," she said when she picked up.  
"It might be," was the cryptic answer. "I'm at the door. May I come in or is it too early?"  
She sat up half in shock. "You're here?" She stood up and walked to the window, which looked out onto the front of the hotel. Sure enough, there was Henry. She opened the window and waved at him.  
Then she hastened to the front door to unlock it.  
She embraced him and then led him inside.

"You said you were coming today, but I didn't expect it to be so early." She looked at him. He looked downright awful.  
He sighed. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep well at all. After our phone call last night, I might have slept properly for maybe two hours. The rest was rubbish. I was up at four because it was no use trying anyway. And before I got crazy I decided I might as well come here, so I left at 5."  
Frankie swallowed. She understood why, but she wasn't happy that he had been driving in this state.

When they got at her room, she said: "You know I would never ever want to tell you off. You're an adult and I'm not your mum. However, I'm glad I didn't know you were coming. I would have been sick with worry. I don't really like it that you've been driving, feeling this way." She sighed. She saw he understood. "I'm sorry Frankie. I'll be more careful next time!" She embraced him again. "I'm glad you're here, in one piece," she mumbled before she kissed him.

"Does Mary know you came here?"  
He shook his head. "I'm sure she wasn't awake yet. She's not working today, going away for the weekend or so. But I'll send her a text."  
He sat down on her bed to perform the task. Frankie sat behind him, back under the duvet.  
"I'm sorry I woke you up, Frankie," Henry suddenly said.  
"It's ok," she replied. "But I'm not getting out just yet." She moved over a little bit to make some space. Henry lay down and they chatted. She could see he had difficulty concentrating. His eyes were bloodshot, from not sleeping.  
Soon she saw his eyes closing; he was drifting off as she hoped he would.

She observed him for a while, sending a prayer up for him. Then she quietly got out to get dressed and ready for the day. After breakfast she prepared a plate and took it up. He was still fast asleep, so she left it on the bedside with a little note.  
Then she went on to work.


	16. Chapter 46-48

**Chapter 46**

Henry woke up disorientated. He wasn't sure where he was and what time it was. He looked at his watch. 2 p.m.? He recognised he was in Frankie's room. He looked around. She was probably working at the moment. Then his eyes fell on a plate on the bedside table. And a little note next to it.

'To my dearest sleepy-head. I've prepared you some breakfast for when you wake up. I'm working. You know where my office is. X

Still sleeping! I hope you won't be too disappointed that I took away your breakfast and replaced it with lunch, since you were still sleeping. I hope you'll be well rested!  
I might be out this afternoon, picking up some stuff in town.  
You can check the office or text me. Love you! X F'

He smiled. Then he sat up. The plate was sealed with cling film and contained a Ploughman's. He decided to sit on the sofa, not wanting to get crumbs in Frankie's bed. After his lunch he found his bag and took a shower. Refreshed he made his way to Frankie's office and after a knock, found her luckily in. She was checking some lists against a digital one. After putting a little mark at the place where she was in the document, she put it down and walked up towards him. "Hello, love. Good to see you awake again!"  
"Frankie! Thanks for the food." He kissed her as long as he could, to make up for the days they had missed. "I think I've compensated the lack of sleep from last night. Now I need to do something. Have you got anything I can do?"  
She smiled. "Thanks for asking. If you don't mind, would you be willing to pop into the post office in town? There are some letters that need posting first class and there's a parcel waiting. I've got the note somewhere here."  
He hid his disappointment of having to leave her again, but he was glad he could do something useful.  
"Here's the note. I don't know how they managed to not deliver it. But I guess everyone in the building was out of the reception area at the moment and it needed signing.  
I'll walk with you to reception to get you the letters." The she stopped. "You haven't said yet whether you want to do it or not. Sorry."  
"Don't worry, I'm happy to do it! Do you need anything else from town? Groceries?"

They walked towards the lobby area. Most of it was finished and decorated. It only lacked furniture. The reception area was a mess with wires and computers everywhere, waiting to be installed. Three big office cabinets stood waiting to be filled.

"I don't think I need anything. Or maybe. It depends what you want to do tonight, if you want to do something tonight. In that case, some snacks maybe? Oh, before I forget, please bring receipts back from the post office. Here's some money." She handed him a purse with some banknotes.  
"See you later, love. You don't have to hurry, if you don't want to. Drive safely!"

Soon he was on his way to town. It was nice to do something useful. Frankie had said in her note that she might have gone into town. He imagined that she would have had to go on foot or take a bus. Must be annoying to not have a car, he thought. He remembered she said she wanted to take driving lessons. And then he remembered that he had offered to help her with it. She had never mentioned it again. He had forgotten. It really would be convenient for her to get a licence. Especially living out here and, even more than at Mansfield, her role probably required her driving places. He resolved to offer her to practise this weekend. They could tour the area and she could learn driving. In town, after his tasks were fulfilled, he went into a bookshop and got a driving theory book and a highway code book. That was a good first step. He couldn't resist flicking through the pages. It was long ago since he had looked into it. He had started his lessons as soon as he was allowed and drove his own first little car at the age of 18. He let his mind wander at the different cars he subsequently had. He was happy with the one he had at the moment. But he was more proud of the first one, simply because it took time to save up to buy it.  
When he drove back to the Antigua, he looked at his car with a different eye. He tried to imagine what Frankie saw. He thought she liked it. But she wasn't much interested in cars in general. He liked his car for it was light and fast. He thought it might be a good one to start learning in.

Back home he first took the time to write a little note in the front of the theory book. 'My car is at your disposal for you to practise! X'

Then he walked to her office.  
"Here's your parcel madam. Have you got a tip for the deliverer?" His eyes twinkled.  
She laughed. "Always." Her reward was much better than money, so he was satisfied.  
Then he handed her the books in a little bag. "What's this?" she asked surprised. "Did you buy me books? Ah, I see," when she opened the bag. Her eyes got big. She looked at him confused. He motioned for her to open the bigger one. She smiled. "Is that your habit, putting little notes in books?" She read his note and then kissed him again!  
"Thank you Henry. I will take you up on your offer! After work?"  
He smiled. "Whenever you like!"  
All of a sudden she was busy. "I can be finished once I've got these lists sorted. You already saved me the trip to the post office. Give me half an hour." He laughed at her enthusiasm.  
"Ok, well, I'll get out of your way, so you can work without distraction. I'll be in your room."

45 minutes later she came in. "Sorry a bit later than promised. Computers!" she grumbled. "They always get stuck when you're in a hurry. Anyway, it's sorted now. So time for weekend."  
Suddenly she stopped, a bit shy. "Are you sure you want to teach me how to drive?"  
He looked surprised. "Yes, of course. I have promised you that, haven't I?"  
"I just thought, what if I damaged your car?"  
He laughed. "That won't happen if I teach you the right way and you follow my instructions."  
She sighed in relieve. "Ok. I can do that!"  
They then walked outside towards the car. Frankie didn't stop talking on the way.  
He stopped her. "Frankie, are you nervous?" A thin smile appeared.  
"Yes, I am. Sorry."  
"Love, it's healthy to be a bit nervous, but don't worry. You will be fine! Do you trust me?" He looked in her eyes. "Yes," was the straight answer.  
He smiled. "Well then there's no problem."

They got into the car, Frankie on the driver's seat. He explained to her how to adjust the seat until it was right and then told her the functions of the pedals and how to use the gears.  
"I know it's a lot of information, but before we can start…" He helped her to turn on the lights, showed the indicators and how to use the mirrors.  
"Now we can start the car and you can try it out on the driveway. You only have to touch the gas very lightly. This car is easily up to speed so that's a thing to think about."  
She turned the key and with his instructions she managed to drive a circle in front of the hotel. There was no one around, which was good thing. She first needed get used of how the car worked before having to deal with other traffic. After some test rounds, he let her leave the premises and go onto the road. The Antigua was situated on a quiet road, which proved a big advantage. Now they could do some more practise rounds in which Frankie learned to check the position from the car on the road and also to go into higher gear.

Henry was amazed at her. She was a quick learner and none of her former nervousness was perceptible. She was totally focused on what she was doing and was following his instructions very swift. When she seemed a bit more comfortable she started to ask questions. He could see she wanted insight as to the reason of things.  
After an hour she looked tired but happy. They had gone to some slightly busier roads and she had had to concentrate hard to pay attention to everything, but Henry was proud of her.  
When she had turned off the car on the driveway, she sat back for a while.  
Henry looked at her. "How was that?" he asked. "Did you like it?"  
She let out her breath. "Phew, I didn't know there was so much to it! It always looks so simple."  
"It will get easier," he promised. "Once you're used to how the car works, you will start to drive automatically and be able to focus on your surroundings. Which is helpful on busy roads. For the situation changes all the time. But you did really well! I think you'll pick it up quickly."  
She smiled. "Thank you! I did enjoy it! Although I feel quite tired now!"  
"Well, let's go in and relax now, shall we?"

They got out of the car and into the house.  
Frankie collapsed on her sofa.  
"What do you want to do tonight?" she asked.  
He sat next to her. "Just be with you!" he answered.  
So that's what they did. After some dinner they just watched TV, snuggled together on the sofa, and talked.

They had an early night as Henry still got tired quite easily, especially after his lack of sleep the previous night.

**Chapter 47**

_A.N. Back to Mansfield Park for a bit.  
Btw. there's a bit of jumping around with point-of-views in the next chapters._

It was some weeks later that Frankie got an invitation to go to Mansfield Park. From the side-line she had heard that Julia and Yates had become good friends and that, to the surprise of many people, Mr Bertram had allowed her to go travelling with Yates. In November, they would leave for their tour and before that they would give a goodbye party at Mansfield. Frankie was glad to hear that the Bertram family finally seemed to have sorted their problems and through everything that had happened, they had grown closer to each other.  
Frankie sent Henry a text message about the invitation and was surprised to hear that he had had an invitation as well.  
Frankie set out to plan a weekend off for herself. This she found a bit scary still, but her fellow workers didn't seem to mind. The hotel was up and running for a few weeks now and it seemed to go very well. The preparations had gone smoothly and, although Frankie had been busy back then, she wistfully thought back at the more regular work hours of that time. She had had time to hang out with Henry. He would come on his days off, especially after a psychiatrist session. They still brought him out of balance but he seemed to be able to handle them better. Frankie could see the difference. His nightmares had become fewer. He still had flashbacks sometimes, but because he had been writing about his life – and with that being forced to think about it – his normal memories now anticipated the flashbacks.

He continued giving her driving lessons and she felt more and more confident driving. In her free time, she would study the theory and hoped she soon would be able to do a test on that.  
Now with the hotel open, free hours were less frequent and less structured. She enjoyed heading the team but it was a challenge as well. She finally understood why Mrs Norris had acted in a certain way sometimes. There was just so much to think about and do.

The day before the party Frankie travelled up to London to meet with Henry. She hadn't been there for a while. It was quite a journey and Henry didn't mind coming to her by car. That was much easier and quicker anyway. She hadn't seen Henry for a week and a half, because their work schedules hadn't allowed it. Skype was definitely not the same as being together. She had missed him terribly, so the first ten minutes after her arrival were spent in each other's arms to make up for the missed days.  
"Tell me all about your session with Dr Johnson this morning," said Frankie, when they finally let go of each other a bit.  
"He said he's quite satisfied with the progress. My next appointment will now be in two weeks' time. I need to continue writing. I must confess it gets easier."

Frankie smiled. He had let her read his writings. Some things were downright painful, but he had also written down pleasant memories he had about his mum. She loved reading about how he was as a child and through his words, she felt like she really got to know his mum. She wished she could have met her.  
It made her feel a bit guilty about her relationship with her own mum. She resolved to be more attentive to her. Henry's loss made her appreciate the fact that she still had her own mother. So in the past few weeks she had called her mum various times. Just to chat. And it had been nice!

After an hour they left for Mansfield Park. Soon they regretted going at this time of the day. It was way too busy on the road.  
But Frankie was secretly a little pleased by it, because she had more time together with Henry. He seemed stressed about the traffic, so she said:  
"I think traffic jam can be quite enjoyable. At least it makes it less dangerous to do this." She put her hand on his thigh. He looked at her and grinned.  
"Yeah, you're right," he answered when he covered it with his.  
He seemed to relax and they talked.

When they finally arrived at Mansfield Park, it was dark. To Frankie it felt strange to be back. She hadn't been there since she moved to the Antigua. The place looked the same, yet she wasn't part of it anymore. She was actually nervous when they entered the building, so she sought her comfort in holding Henry's hand tightly. They were greeted by Tom and Julia and she got a hug from both of them.  
"So good that you could come!" was Julia's greeting. "It's been ages since I've seen you!"  
She looked at Henry. "How are you doing then?"  
"Quite well, thanks." Frankie glowed.  
"Tom you look well!" she said.  
"Franks, thanks for your compliment. As you can see I'm up and running. Well, not yet running." He pointed at his crutches. He also eyed Henry. "You've changed." he stated. "I don't know what it is, but you look different." Henry looked a bit uncomfortable but then Tom shrugged and turned around to take them to the family wing.

Henry seemed to see the nervousness in Frankie and pulled her a bit closer.  
She felt so weird to be back. So many things had happened here.

Henry felt similar. He of course hadn't been as long here as Frankie had, but there were plenty of memories from the seven months he had spent here.  
He was a bit nervous at meeting Rhea again. He knew everything was talked out and sorted, but it was still weird.  
The greeting was brief and only a little bit awkward. He saw relief on Frankie's face. He smiled at her.  
Mrs Bertram was glad to see Frankie again. She said she had missed her, but was glad that Frankie enjoyed her time at the Antigua.  
She told them all about the place and Henry could see that Mr Bertram was pleased about Frankie's positive words.

An hour later Ed and Mary arrived. It immediately felt more normal.  
"You're quick," he said to them. "We were in the middle of traffic!"  
Ed laughed. "We chose our time better then. For we didn't have much problem at all."  
The evening was pleasant with catching up with everyone, although Henry couldn't help feeling uncomfortable a bit, as everyone, except Mary and Ed of course, continued to glance at him and Frankie. He noticed how it affected her. She was more fidgety than ever. He took her hand and tangled his fingers with hers. She looked up at him and smiled. 'I love you,' he mouthed to her and she relaxed.  
It must be difficult to be among this family in a place where so much had happened.

Frankie felt his comfort close to her. It felt weird being here with him. The others seemed to want to examine how their relationship was. Especially the two sisters. They seemed just curious. She knew both girls had detected her and Henry's mutual affection already at the hospital with Tom. Even before she herself had known her real feelings for Henry.

She felt her hand being captured by Henry and saw his love in his eyes and saw the words his mouth formed. It calmed her down. This would not change. She knew they belonged together and nothing could change that. She smiled at him.

"How are you doing then?" asked Mr Bertram, with a significant look. Talk so far had been fairly casual but Henry understood that Mr Bertram asked about his health. He looked down, not sure if he wanted to talked about it with all the others around him. He didn't know if any of them watched Frankie's videos. Frankie squeezed his hand.  
"I'm… doing much better, thank you." He said. "My… treatment is going well and, ehh, I don't have as many nightmares anymore." He now sighed as if he had given a difficult speech.  
Mr Bertram smiled. "That is so good to hear! Are you still working part time?"

Henry nodded. "Yes, I've decided to not go back to full time. I want to spend more time drawing and doing other things. My uncle doesn't really like it, but he doesn't have a choice." He grimaced at the thought of his meetings with his uncle. He actually had seemed very concerned and had asked what he could do better to persuade Henry to come back full time.

"What happened, Henry?" was Rhea's surprising question.  
His eyes shot up at her.  
"Do you not know? I thought everyone here watches Frankie's videos." She was colouring and shook her head.  
He looked at Frankie, not sure what he should do.  
"Maybe you should watch them then," was her calm comment to Rhea.  
Rhea looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I've just been so busy with… everything." She broke down and started to sob. Julia embraced her and tried to comfort her.  
Henry was shocked. He wasn't sure what to make of this. He knew she was going through a divorce but hadn't expected she would be so emotional about it.  
Everyone looked a bit uncomfortable.  
"Excuse me," was Rhea's last comment before she left the room. It was quiet for a while. Then Mrs Bertram started to tell a story about Pug to Frankie and everyone sort of relaxed a bit.

Before it was bedtime, Julia showed them their room. "I'm sorry, Franks, your old room now has a different use. Are you ok with this room?"  
Frankie smiled. "It's great Julia, thank you!"  
"Well, good night and see you tomorrow!" Julia said.  
They said goodnight back and she turned around and left.  
Henry wanted to close the door, when Rhea walked up to them.  
She looked shy.  
"Sorry guys. Could I… talk for a bit?"  
Frankie nodded. "Yes, come in. Are you ok? You seemed to be pretty upset earlier on."  
The girls sat down on the bed and Henry took a chair.

"Yeah," Rhea started, hesitatingly. "I know I deserve it, but the divorce I find quite painful. I know… me and Rory didn't really work, but I did love him in a way. He is heartbroken but handling it quite well…" she started to cry again. Frankie offered her arm, but Rhea declined.  
"And then… I know I shouldn't, but I felt jealous at you. At your relationship." She was quiet for a while.  
Then Henry spoke up. "Rhea, back in the hospital we apologised. And accepted it. I've recently learned that it's important not only to forgive others and be forgiven, but also to forgive yourself. I'm in that process at the moment. It helps me to let go of things in the past and work on myself."  
Frankie nodded. "It's not good to dwell on bad things that happened in the past. Learn from it and move on. I have forgiven you and Henry for what happened in the past. Now we should look to the future."  
"But I've messed up so badly. I must have made you so unhappy!" Rhea managed.  
Frankie almost laughed. "Do I look unhappy now?" she asked.  
Rhea looked up. "No… I don't think so." She was quiet again for a while.  
Henry could see she was thinking about what was said.  
"Right," she then said. "I can work with that. To forgive myself and move on. It won't be easy, but I have to try!" She looked already a bit better.  
Frankie exchanged a little smile with him.  
"Now I need to say another 'sorry'. For not keeping up with your videos. You must think I'm not interested in your life."

Now Frankie's smile was aimed at Rhea. "Definitely no apologies needed for that. It's everyone's own choice whether they watch them or not. I don't mind. And I can see you have been too preoccupied with other things. I don't expect you to keep up with our life."  
"But everyone seems to know about you, Henry."  
He laughed a little bit. "It's not that I seek that," he said. "I have chosen to share about what happened, because people have been so kind and caring that I thought I owed it to them. Also, Frankie always said with these videos – as well as in life in general, I think – that it's good to be honest with people. So that's what I did.  
I still don't really like talking about it, but I've got better over the last weeks." He grimaced and saw Frankie's sympathetic look.

He sighed. "Sorry Rhea, I've been talking in riddles. If you want to, I can tell you about what happened."  
She nodded. "Only if you're comfortable with it."  
He told her briefly about his mum, about seeing Tom in the hospital and how that had affected him. He talked about his nightmares and about how he had ended up in hospital himself and that he was now receiving treatment from a psychiatrist.  
Rhea looked quite shocked. "I'm sorry to hear all this! That you had to through all this!"  
"Thank you," was his reply. "I'm much better now! And if I hadn't had Frankie I don't know what would have happened. She's just so amazing!" He looked at Frankie with his love in his eyes.  
"It has changed you, I think!" Rhea said. "You're very different."  
Neither he nor Frankie knew what to say to that.  
Then Rhea stood up. "Thank you for telling me all that! I should go now. Party tomorrow and all that. Thanks for the chat."  
They wished her a goodnight and she left.

They snuggled up in bed. It had been some weeks since they had shared a bed. With Henry's nightmares becoming fewer, they had decided it was best to sleep separate. Of course, as usual, others didn't think of that.  
"How do you feel about being back here at Mansfield?" he asked her. She lay with her head on his chest. "I've missed this," she mumbled.  
Then she answered: "It's weird. Familiar yet different. People seem the same, but changed.  
How about you?" she looked at him from the corner of her eyes.  
"I feel the same I think. I guess everyone has changed a bit through everything that happened. Even Mrs B seems more involved."  
She nodded, which tickled a bit.  
"Yeah, I found that quite special. And Yates and Julia. We knew a bit about that, but seeing them together… they are so different, but they seem cool with that."  
"I'm very curious to hear about their trip," he said.  
"So am I!" Then: "Do you want to talk about Rhea?"  
She turned around to look at him, when he answered. "Well, I feel for her, in all she's going through. I do feel a bit guilty about my part in it." Here she stopped him.

"While I know there is some truth in that, I don't think you should be too harsh on yourself. Even though I feel very sorry for Rory, I think sooner or later they would have realised they just didn't work together. Maybe it's best that it ended now, instead of a few years into their marriage. It would have been a lot worse if there had been children for example."  
He had to agree with her.  
"I hope she'll manage to sort herself out. I think forgiving herself will be a big part of that."

After this they focused on themselves and after praying they slowly fell asleep.

**Chapter 48**

The hotel sounded busy when they woke up next morning, but they chose to ignore it. Waking up next to each other never got boring. They savoured the closeness and enjoyed their time together.  
After about half an hour they decided to get up and get ready for the day.

They joined the family for breakfast, which was busy. Julia, Yates and Rhea talked about the party and about what still had to be done; Tom and Ed chatted about how Tom was doing. Mr Bertram asked Mary about her latest project and Pug was under the table, hoping she would get some bits from the table. Frankie and Henry didn't say much, but looked at everything with amusement.

Then Tom asked how London was and he and Henry talked about various places they both knew. Tom looked wistful. He had not been able to go there since his accident.  
He also asked a lot of questions, which Henry didn't know how to answer. About mutual friends, which Henry hadn't seen since the beginning of September. He hadn't had any desire whatsoever to hang out with them and Tom didn't seem to understand that.  
Therefore, Henry was grateful when Frankie asked Tom about his plans for the future. He took the bait and started enthusiastically talking about photography and how he had been looking at courses he could follow to get better at it.

Henry relaxed a bit.  
Maybe he needed to really try to talk to Tom to convince him that his life was changed.  
The chance came after the meal. Tom wanted to show his best photos to Frankie, so went ahead of them to his room to get his computer.  
Henry was impressed at the quality of the pictures! With his artistic eye he could see that there was a lot of potential there and he said so to Tom.  
"If you really like doing this, you should definitely continue! You're a good photographer! I think you would be able to make a living with this!"  
Tom sort of blushed by the compliment.  
"How are you so knowledgeable about this?" he asked.  
Henry laughed. "I know I don't know much about photography in itself, but because I draw, I know a bit about composition and I can see you're a natural about finding the right composition for the perfect picture!"  
"Well, thank you for that encouragement!" was the merry answer.  
Then Tom asked: "Frankie are you still making those videos?" She looked a bit surprised. "Yeah. Not as often as before but I still make them. I thought you watched them?"  
"Me? Watch them? I thought they were just for Will?"  
Frankie now looked shocked.  
"I thought you knew. But I now realise that it all happened around your accident. Just before that, I found out my videos were actually public and people had been watching them. As you can imagine I was very shocked at first, but it also brought a lot of good." She looked at Henry, who continued her story.

"Yeah, because just before your accident I was in Portsmouth and before I was planning to return to London I found Frankie's videos. They held me up so I was there when the news about you came."  
Tom's eyes got big. "Is that why you were there in the hospital?"  
He nodded.  
"Yep. Frankie let me accompany her. Anyway, through the videos I found out what Frankie actually thought of me and how awful I really had been. It has changed me. At least partly!" He decided to continue. This way he could show Tom that he wasn't the same anymore.  
"Of course your accident was a shock for everyone, but somehow it did something else to me. For it reminded me of my mum. She died when I was eight. It was such a traumatic time that I guess I wanted to forget. I suppressed my grief and memories somehow for all those years.  
Seeing you in the hospital triggered those memories. Since then I've had countless horrible nightmares, nights without sleep and lots of fear. I even ended up in hospital. The GP had prescribed me some sleeping medication. The day it finished I was simply terrified at having to face my nightmares again, so I got drunk. You would laugh at the amount I had. It was not much at all, but it worked. However, I shouldn't have taken it because it's dangerous in combination with sleeping medication. They told me I nearly died."  
Frankie still shivered when she heard this bit of his story.  
"I'm getting better now. I've had counselling with a psychiatrist, which is helping me to cope with my memories and to sort out my past trauma."  
He suddenly sighed. It was even weirder to tell this to Tom, than it was to Rhea. Frankie took his hand and it comforted him.  
Tom looked with big eyes at him.  
"Wow! I didn't know that. That's quite something! I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad you're getting better. Is that why you don't drink anymore?"  
Henry thought about that; he hadn't really before.  
"I guess. I definitely leave the stronger stuff now. But I just don't fancy getting drunk anymore. I don't know why I enjoyed that. It's a ridiculous thing to do, I think. Maybe I haven't felt the need to.  
I've had plenty of moments in the past month that I wish I could forget, but I think the support Frankie gave me, was much better than drinking myself into oblivion. So yeah."

He suddenly felt deflated. He hadn't had that for a while. Looking at Frankie he could see that she noticed.  
"Thank you Tom, for listening and thanks for showing us your photos! They are amazing. If you'll excuse us now, please."  
They went to their room and Henry lay down on the bed. He sighed deeply a few times.  
"I've no idea why it affects me so much again, talking about it. Yesterday, when I told Rhea, it was different. I don't know why."  
Frankie stroked his forehead. "I've no idea either, love. But I think it was brave that you did talk about it! I'm sure it will rein Tom in a bit. I saw how awkward you found it this morning when he was asking all those questions."  
He closed his eyes for a while and they were silent. Frankie's touch was soothing and soon he felt a bit better.

That afternoon Will also arrived. Frankie was ecstatic as she hadn't seen her brother since the weekend he had come to London when Henry was in the hospital. He was also invited for the party and it was great that he had been able to come. After helping a bit in the preparations for the party, Frankie took Will outside to catch up on their lives. Will told enthusiastically about his course and everything going on in Portsmouth. Frankie talked about how it was to lead the household team from the Antigua and about how her driving lessons were going. "Before you know it, I will be driving down to Portsmouth," she winked.  
"Henry says I'm doing really well, but what I do find a bit daunting is to learn all the theory. There is so much and some of the stuff I have no idea why I would ever need to know it, but it's better to be prepared I guess."  
"I'm curious now. Do you want to show your progress tomorrow or so? We could drive to town."  
Frankie wasn't sure if she liked that. "I don't know. We'll see," was all she could say.  
After half an hour they went back inside to find the others.

Henry had seen Will come in, but was just wondering where Frankie was. He was helping the Bertram siblings with putting up decorations in one of the bigger rooms.  
Then Frankie did walk in and came straight towards him, with a slightly confused look in her eyes.  
"Pinch me, Henry, to see if I'm awake. I wonder if I'm dreaming." She laughed a bit.  
"Why? What's happened?" he asked.  
"You will not believe what just happened. I came across Mrs Norris and I don't know what happened to her! She actually complimented me, for she had heard how well we're doing at the Antigua. Then she said she missed having me here, for I always seemed to know what had to be done and the others weren't that good. On top of that she asked me to call her Maggie, as we were sort of equals now. I've never been so astonished. I must be dreaming."  
Henry now laughed at her face. He couldn't resist so he took her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly. "I'd rather do this than pinching you," he whispered when he let go of her. She blushed but laughed at his comment.  
Then they heard Will coughing. Only then he realised that everyone was looking at them. He felt his face turn bright red and so was Frankie's. He smiled sheepishly and then just returned to what he was doing. Frankie started helping him. They didn't see the amused look on the faces of the others.

Julia was most surprised. The last time she had seen either Frankie and Henry had been in the hospital. She had seen that Henry was clearly in love with Frankie. She had also noticed Frankie loving him in return, although she hadn't seemed to realise it herself yet. They already had been nigh inseparable at that time, supporting each other through difficulties. She had also watched Frankie's videos so knew about Henry's problems and had seen their love develop.  
But now she saw it before her eyes!  
She knew Frankie never had been someone for much physical show of affection, but what just happened, seemed to totally contradict that. She wasn't surprised to see Henry acting this way, but was astounded at his blush when he seemed to realise they had people looking at them. These two people seemed to have changed a great deal and were obviously besotted with each other.

The party was quite nice that evening. Frankie started to feel more herself again and she enjoyed chatting with everyone. The firework as a close off was quite spectacular. Henry saw how much she enjoyed it and said: "Do you want to spend New Year's Eve in London? We could go to the show there. It's pretty amazing." She smiled enthusiastically. "That sounds great! I've always watched it on TV. It must be great to actually be there."  
"Well, that's sorted then," he said lightly. "Do you know yet what you're doing for Christmas then?" was his next question.  
"I'll be going to Pompey," was the straight answer. "Will will be there and we haven't spent Christmas together for quite a few years now."  
"Sounds great!" he answered, before they returned their attention to more fireworks.


	17. Chapter 49-51

**Chapter 49**

_Warning: This will be quite a painful chapter_

It was very late before they went to sleep. The party didn't finish until well past midnight.  
They both were quite tired so they didn't talk much, but fell asleep soon.

At about half past two, Henry woke up, panting. He couldn't remember anything, but it must have been a nightmare. The adrenaline still went through his body and he sat up. No matter how quiet he was, Frankie stirred. He knew she would have sensed it. It never missed. He turned on the light and blinked. As expected Frankie opened her eyes and sat up and waited until he started to talk. But all he could tell about, was the feeling of fright that still filled him.

"I'm surprised you didn't have one yesterday," she said.  
"Yeah, that is a bit weird," he answered. "But today I was quite tired. Maybe that's why." Because of the fact that Dr Johnson had him write down everything, they had started to see some patterns as to when nightmares would occur and being really tired was one reason.  
Besides, he had felt out of sorts after sharing his story with Tom.  
After some minutes of talking he was calmed down enough that he thought he could sleep again.

But when he woke up half an hour later again, cold sweat on his forehead, he knew this was going to be one of the bad nights.  
The difficulty was that he couldn't quite catch the dreams. If he had been able to talk about them, it would have helped. But they slipped away and just left him with a growing feeling of restlessness.  
He hated these nights, for they left him exhausted during the day and thus entering into a cycle of sleepless nights and increasing fatigue in the daytime.  
What also annoyed him was that he couldn't prevent Frankie from going through it as well.  
The only good was that they sometimes had the best conversations during these nights, and it strengthened their relationship. Sometimes they would read in the bible until they fell asleep again and these were precious moments.  
However, tonight he just wished he could sleep normally. Having to be around other people during the day was not easy after a sleepless night.  
Frankie stirred and grabbed his hand. He made himself concentrate on the feeling of her hand in his, turning his thoughts towards her. In his mind he pictured her lovely face and concentrated on each feature.

He smiled when he thought about their conversation some weeks ago, in which she had told him about her special attraction towards his hands.  
There was nothing in her that he didn't like. He loved her expressive eyes, the funny faces she pulled, her laugh.  
He tried to lay still, as she hadn't fully woken up and he wanted her to rest.  
Unconsciously he started to play with her fingers. It made him calm again and soon he drifted off for another half hour.

The feeling of falling was so real that he grasped around him in search of something to hold on to. A soft gasp made him wake up once more.  
"Sorry Frankie, I felt I was falling." He let go of her arm.  
"It's not going very well, is it?" she asked and turned on the light. She looked sleepy but worried.  
"Not really," he sighed.  
She embraced him and they sat for a while.  
"When will I ever get rid of this?" He felt desperation coming up. He knew it was getting better, since these nightmares were less frequent, but at this moment, in the middle of it, it was difficult to keep hoping.  
Frankie didn't reply. There wasn't really an answer to it.  
After another half hour he tried again to sleep. Frankie looked really tired, so he at least should try to drift off, to give her some rest.

Luckily she fell asleep, but Henry just couldn't. His mind was too busy; he couldn't find the rest he needed. Very quietly he got up and got dressed. He left the room and found his way through the scarcely lit hallways towards the backdoor. It was still very early and pitch-black. He started to run, but soon had to stop, since he couldn't see where he was going and he didn't want to sprain his ankle or fall.

Aimlessly he wandered through the gardens and then towards the paths he remembered. Usually this would clear his mind, but at the moment his thoughts were a muddle and he couldn't seem to get out of it. Instead of calming him down, he felt more and more frustrated and desperate. He tried to run again, the road now seemed to be a bit more suitable for that.  
It calmed him down a little bit, until he miss-stepped, which made him slow down again.

After another few hundred meters with a whirlwind of emotions inside of him, his exasperation level reached the top and boiled over. Having no other way to express it, he growled. So occupied in his thoughts, he would not have remembered he was not at home and people could hear him. Luckily he was in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.

He shouted his pain out; desperation lay black around him. He was at the end of his wits.

* * *

Frankie felt something was wrong before she was fully awake. She was tired and the night so far had given no rest. Henry had been very restless and she couldn't help him. Without opening her eyes, she extended her hand to him, but he wasn't there.

Now she did open her eyes and turned on the light. He wasn't there. His place was still faintly warm, so he hadn't gone long. Maybe he went to the bathroom. But when she looked around she saw his clothes and shoes were gone. Perhaps he had needed some fresh air.  
But worry tightened her chest. Something more was going on. She got up and got herself dressed. She would not be able to sleep if he was having a rough time. Then she noticed his phone on the nightstand. This worried her even more, because he usually always took it with him. His mind must have been so preoccupied that he forgot about it.

Quietly she walked through the hotel, checking some places he might be, and not finding him. Then she went outside. It was still dark so she used the torch on her phone. He wasn't on the patio. She scanned the garden near the house. Normally she wouldn't dream of wandering off in the dark, but she was too worried about Henry. She made her way towards the bridge, but still no sign.  
Her sense of fear grew. She might have waited until he just came back, but somehow she felt she needed to find him.  
She called his name, but didn't want to alarm other people at the hotel, so stopped with that.  
She walked back into the house and checked again their room although she knew he wouldn't be there.

She decided to ask Will for help, for on her own she wouldn't be able to find Henry. So she made her way to her brother's room and knocked on the door. A very sleepy voice answered. "Who is it?"  
"Frankie," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. He opened his door.  
"What's the matter Franks? Why are you up in the middle of the night?" Then he saw her worried face. "Is something wrong? Why are you all dressed?"  
Frankie sighed deeply. "It's Henry. Something is wrong!"  
Will's face was concerned now. "Is he ill? Do we need to get a doctor?"  
She shook her head. "No I don't think so."  
"What then? Did he say something? Do you want me to come and talk to him?"  
Again she shook her head. "I can't find him. He's gone."

Will's eyes got big. "Gone? What do you mean?"  
"I mean, he's not in our room. His clothes are gone, so he must have gone out. He has hardly been sleeping this night, because of nightmares and I'm very afraid for him. Something is wrong!"  
She hadn't noticed her tears. Will put his arms around her for some comfort, but soon she pulled away.  
"Will, we must find him. I feel the need to hurry. Please, come quickly."  
He then nodded. Quickly he put on his clothes, shoes and coat.  
"Perhaps we need to ask Ed for help," he said. "I believe he does know this area best."  
She nodded. "Ok, but quick then."  
"Do you think he's lost?" Will asked, when they made their way to the Bertram wing. Will decided to send Ed a text first before knocking on the door.  
"Did you try to call Henry?"  
"His phone is next to the bed. Will, he never forgets his phone."  
Five minutes later Ed appeared. Frankie was very restless.  
"What's wrong?" Ed asked.  
"Henry is missing," was Will's short explanation.  
"Frankie says he hardly slept and must be in a bad state. She thinks he went outside, but can't find him. Did you go into the garden, Franks?" he asked her then.  
"Yes I did," she answered. "I went to all possible places in the garden. But no success."  
She now hurried the two men to the door.  
"We need to hurry," she said.  
Ed looked puzzled and worried.  
"Did you phone him? Is he lost or had an accident?"  
"He didn't take his phone with him. I can't imagine him to be lost as he has been running around in this area for seven months this year. I don't know what is wrong, but I do know something is wrong."

They went out of the house, but then Will asked: "What do you want to do? Split up to search? I hardly know the area by daylight, let alone at night."  
Frankie shook her head. "No I don't think so." She tried to focus and concentrate. "I've searched the gardens. He's definitely not gone by car, because I'm quite sure I've got the keys in my bag. So he must be somewhere in the area. Ed I know some of his running routes, but not all. And while I'm quite sure he wouldn't get lost, he probably has no goal so he could be anywhere." She checked her phone. "I'm not sure how long ago he left."  
Ed looked around him. "Right. If I was just wandering around, without thinking much, I probably would have gone… that way." He found a little gate that led onto a quiet track running through the woods. They went through and started to walk.

Frankie felt the fear still growing. She quickened her pace without realising. While trying to keep her head clear to think logically, she couldn't prevent that tears fell from her eyes without ceasing.  
"Henry, where are you," she muttered. Why had he not woken her up?  
The other two seemed to have difficulty catching up. Frankie had her phone lighten up the path in front of them.  
Ed asked her for more details, but there was nothing else but her sense of dread. Henry was a grown man and wouldn't get into trouble normally, but she knew how he was when desperate. She tried hard to not think about the little bird on the roof from Henry's drawing.

Without realising she started to pray in a whisper. "Jesus, help us to find him. I'm so scared. Please keep him alive. Please, give us some sign where to look. Please."  
She didn't notice the other two's puzzled looks.  
A path appeared to the right. Without hesitation she took it. "He took this way," she said, and while saying it she realised it was true. "Thank you Jesus!" she said out loud. "Now where to next?"  
Her fear and worry were still very strong, but she felt a sliver of hope. If God answered her prayer as to the direction, she was sure he would answer the rest as well.  
After about ten minutes she turned to a path on the left.  
When they walked this path for about a hundred meters, she tried calling.  
"Henry, where are you?"  
She was still crying and her eyes stung.

The others stopped suddenly.  
"I can hear something," Ed said. They went all very quiet now. Then they heard a sort of growl, coming from ahead of them.  
Frankie hurried forward as she recognised the sound.  
But Will held her back. "What is that noise? There's no wild animals around here I thought?"  
"Not as far as I know," was Ed's reply.  
"Come on guys. It is Henry." Frankie once more tried to run ahead and the two other followed her closely now.  
"Henry?" she called. "Where are you?"  
"Here!" came suddenly his voice.

They entered a clearing and there she saw him. He sat on the ground, his arms around his knees. She made her way to him as quickly as she could.  
"Henry I was so worried!" She threw her arms around him and was met with a desperate look.  
"Frankie, I'm so sorry. I just can't face it… It's too much…" He started to sob.  
She rocked him as if he were a child.  
"I love you," she whispered and kept repeating it without realising.  
She didn't notice Ed and Will approaching. And didn't see some relief on their faces.

After about five minutes, Henry's crying became less and finally ceased.  
"Frankie," he whispered, his voice raw, "I was just so desperate. I couldn't get out of it. I'm so tired of fighting."  
"I know," she said and she kissed him passionately. She felt as if she needed to convey the will to live to him. She wanted him to understand there was hope. She kept kissing him until he started to answer. At first slowly but then it felt as if his despair and anguish all came gushing out and she braced herself at the force of it.

She had totally forgotten that Will and Ed were still there.  
They had first looked on when Henry broke down and at this moment they had turned away, feeling they were not needed at this moment. They walked away for a bit further and whispered among themselves about what they had seen.

When they were both breathless Frankie and Henry let each other go, but no more than a few inches.  
"Why did you not wake me up?" was Frankie's first question.  
"You were tired, you needed your sleep! Besides, I hoped my walk would make me feel better." His voice still sounded rough. "Instead, it made it worse."  
She embraced him tighter again. "Oh love, do not suffer on your own! I'd much rather not sleep than have you spiralling down in despair."  
He looked into her eyes; he seemed to calm down a bit.  
"I don't deserve you Frankie. Why have you not run away? Why have you not given up on me yet?"  
He sounded sincere.  
Frankie answered, as clear as she could be: "Because if I left you I would leave part of myself."  
She could see he understood.  
Then she said: "Come, you must be freezing. Let's go back." She got herself up and then pulled Henry up. He was stiff from the cold.

Then he saw Ed and Will standing at a distance. Frankie saw him looking.  
"I asked them to help me find you." He only nodded, exhausted from everything that happened.  
Frankie saw the relief on her brother's face.  
"You ok?" he asked. "Were you injured?"  
Henry shook his head. "Not yet." This puzzled Frankie.  
The two other men took the lead and Frankie asked Henry what he had meant.  
He shivered. "I'm afraid my mind went into a very dangerous direction, just before you arrived." He said no more, but now Frankie shivered as well.  
"Thank God, I found you!" she said.

It took almost 45 minutes before they were back at Mansfield. Ed disappeared into his family's apartment and soon came out again, with a little box in his hand.  
He gave it to Frankie.  
"Here, I know Henry didn't have the best experience with sleeping aids, but this one is fairly light and not on prescription. I think both of you should take one. First have a good hot shower to warm up. Then take a tablet and try to sleep. No one will disturb you, I will take care of that. You both need to sleep it all off I think."  
Will nodded. "I agree. Take the time to get yourselves back together."  
Frankie was grateful for their advice. She hugged both of them and placed a kiss on their cheeks.  
"Thanks guys," was Henry's response. He was too tired to say more.

Then they left for their room. They both had a quick shower, as advised. When Henry was in the shower, Frankie read the instruction leaflet of the tablets and decided that they should be able to use it.  
So when they were finally back in bed, it was nearly 6 o'clock by now, they both took a sleeping tablet and soon fell into a deep and restful sleep.

**Chapter 50**

Ed was still rather tired when he arrived at the breakfast table that morning. He was not used to having disturbed nights. But he was glad he had been of some help to Frankie and Henry. Will sat already at the table with the others. He looked as fresh as usual, but his face was unusually serious and he seemed distant with his thoughts.  
"Morning," Ed greeted. Will looked up and gave him a brief smile. Ed sat down next to Mary, who looked at him with a little smile.  
"You're late this morning," said Julia. "Is that because of the party?"  
"The party? Oh eh, no not really." Through everything that had happened he had forgotten about the party.  
"I hope you were able to sleep a bit more," Mary said.

After he had returned from the search, he had found Mary awake. She had asked where he had been and he had explained what had happened with Henry. She had been very worried.  
Besides Frankie, she was the one seeing most of Henry's problems. And he knew it had a big impact on her. He knew how scared she had been when Henry had been rushed into the hospital. Besides the time with Tom's accident he had never seen her so upset. The thought of losing her brother had been more than she could bear.  
She had told him about the breakdown Henry had had after his first psychiatrist appointment. She had said that it made her scared. She remembered the rage from when he was a little boy. Even though she herself was very young at the time, she had seen it happen. In that time, she was scared of her brother, the atmosphere in the house was always tense. She told how he had damaged a door once and his hand in the process.  
The whole situation had a big effect on Mary as well and Ed tried to be there for her as much as he could! He doubted Henry and Frankie realised how it affected her, but he couldn't blame them. They needed to concentrate on Henry getting better.

His mind turned to the present, when he heard Julia ask if anyone had seen Frankie. She wanted to take her into town, have some time together.  
"Leave Frankie alone," was his sharp comment. Then he added, a bit softer: "Sorry Jules, but she and Henry need their rest. So please don't disturb them." She was not the only one looking incredulous at his serious face.  
"Did something happen?" was Tom's question.  
Ed looked briefly at Will, who nodded.  
"Henry had a very rough night, and consequently Franks as well. Nightmares and all that."  
"Frankie came to me and Ed for help," added Will. "Henry had left and she couldn't find him. We searched for him and found him about 40 minutes away from here."  
"Found him?" was Julia's response. "Was he alright?"  
"Physically yes," Ed said. "Emotionally not so. Anyway they're sleeping now hopefully and they shouldn't be disturbed, so leave them alone please."

Mary added: "And when they finally choose to appear, please don't bombard them with questions. I know Henry will talk when he feels up to it. If not, don't push him."  
It was unusually quiet for a while.

* * *

It was nearly 3 o'clock in the afternoon when Henry and Frankie woke up simultaneously. Henry looked at his watch and was surprised by the time. Then he remembered everything that had happened during the night and his face fell.  
"What's the time? I'm ravenous," Frankie said.  
"It's 3 in the afternoon," he answered.  
"Wow! I didn't know I could sleep that long," was her reply and she sat up.  
He sat up as well, feeling stiff. The next moment two arms were around him and she kissed him.  
"How are you feeling now?" she asked.  
"Well, at least I'm not tired anymore," he said. "For the rest I don't really know."  
"Do you want to talk?" she asked.  
"I'm hungry too, maybe we should get some food first."  
She agreed and they got dressed quickly.  
"Let's see what we can find in the kitchen," she said when they walked out of their room. Jackson and his colleagues were busy with the preparations for dinner, but he pointed them to a little corner on the counter-top. "Ed told me you might be hungry when waking up. He made sure there would be something for you waiting." They found a few bread rolls and some fruit.  
"Thanks Jackson!" they said before they walked out with their food.  
"That is so kind of Ed!" Frankie said. They were back in their room and soon eating.  
Henry nodded.

Then he said: "Sorry for frightening you last night! You know I find it difficult to think straight when I'm in that… state." She nodded. "I know. Do you feel… can you talk about it now?"  
He stood up and rummaged through his bag for his sketchpad. He sat back down again and started to doodle. He didn't know what the picture would be. Whilst drawing he started to talk about what he felt, the fears that came back time and time again. He tried to explain how deep his despair had been.

"Just before you found me, I felt at rock-bottom. I couldn't think straight anymore. I was longing to just die and be done with it all. I didn't know how…" He briefly looked up from his drawing and saw Frankie intently listening to him. He was quiet for a moment to think. "Do you remember in The Return of the King, when Frodo is hanging on one arm above the lava in Mount Doom? It kind of felt like that. I thought, it's over, I just can't fight anymore. Maybe it's best to just let go. But then you were there as a Sam, with your arms around me, your tears, your kisses, telling me through them: 'Don't let go. Don't you dare let go.' And you pulled me out."

He touched her cheeks tenderly and wiped away her tears.  
Then Frankie told him about when she found him gone, how she had searched and had asked Will and Ed for help. She told about her prayer and how God had answered that prayer by showing her the way to go.

When it was finished, she took his drawing to look at it. It made him look as well.  
He had drawn himself under water. The water was dark and had faces of all sorts of creatures. He knew they represented his fears. His hand was reaching out above the waves. There was a person bending over, grabbing his hand to pull him up. He recognised that face. It was the man he had met in his dreams. Jesus had promised to be with him, to care for him. He realised Jesus had been there, in the deepest of his despair. He had sent Frankie at exactly the right time. And pulled him out of it. "Thank you Jesus!" he whispered.  
Frankie looked at him with a little smile. "Is that how you've seen him in your dreams?" he nodded.  
"I'm very relieved at this," she said, pointing at his picture. "It is God who is rescuing you, not me. And it feels like a weight lifted. If you had drawn me, I wouldn't have been able to bear the responsibility."  
He understood what she meant.  
"Nonetheless, you're invaluable to me! And I thank God for bringing you into my life! I love you, Frankie!"  
He embraced her.

After a while they decided to get out of their room. They hadn't seen anyone yet.  
"Before we go outside, I think we should let the others know that we're ok," Frankie said and Henry agreed. They made it to the Bertram apartment and found most of the family gathered in the living room.  
Henry especially noticed the look of relief upon the face of Will.  
"Good to see you again!" Was his greeting. "Are you both rested again?"  
Henry nodded. "Yes, thanks. We only woke up at three o'clock."  
"And how are you?" Ed asked.  
"A bit better I think. I have been able to talk about what I went through during the night."  
Mary looked sympathetically at him. "I hope this doesn't mean a relapse in your progress," she said.  
"I… hope not," was all he could say.  
"Anyway, we were on our way to the garden, but thought we first should let you all know how we are doing. Thanks for your concern! We'll be back before dinner."

* * *

After dinner that evening they all sat together. Yates and Julia chatted as usual about their adventure. Will had left to pack his bag. He needed to get back to Portsmouth that evening.  
Henry felt a bit weary. Their walk this afternoon had helped to lift his spirits a bit, but he was tired. He thought he was definitely not going to make it late today.

Suddenly Tom asked him if he could see some of his drawings. Henry nodded and got up to fetch his sketchpad. He was halfway through this book, so there were quite a few pictures. Not only Tom, but also his sisters came to admire his work. They laughed at some of the caricatures. He didn't pay much attention, as Frankie was, as usual, playing with his hand. He couldn't really concentrate on any of the conversations around him.

Then there was a gasp beside him. He turned to see the Bertram siblings looking at his picture from that afternoon. He almost snatched the book from Tom's hands.  
"That's personal, sorry." His movement froze and the three looked from him to the picture and back.  
"That is… I don't know what to say," stammered Tom.  
Frankie had always said that his pictures really spoke for themselves, so it looked like his friends got the meaning of what he had drawn.  
"What's that?" Ed asked from the other side of the room. He stood up to come and have a look. Henry looked down, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes.  
"Wow," was soon Ed's reaction. "When did you draw this?"  
"This afternoon," was his short reply. Frankie got his attention, silently asking whether she would take away the book. He shrugged. The damage was done.  
Although he was sure they all knew what had happened. No one had asked and he was sure this was by instruction of Ed or Will maybe.

Will came in. "So people, I'm lea… what's happened here?" he looked at the serious faces.  
"Henry showed some of his sketches," Rhea said. "The most recent one is… shocking."  
She took the sketchbook and showed Will. He looked shocked while he looked at the picture for a while, taking in all the details.  
"Well," he cleared his throat.  
"I do have to leave now. Jules and Yates, thanks for the party and enjoy your adventures! I expect to see a lot of photos!" his laugh sounded forced. "Everyone else, see you soon hopefully. Franks, Henry, can you show me out?"  
He left after a hug to everyone; Henry and Frankie followed him.  
When they were almost at the car, Will turned. His voice was unsteady when he said: "Crawford, whoever is pulling you out, please do not let go of that hand!"  
He gave Frankie a big hug. "Take care sis and keep me updated!"  
Then he patted Henry on the shoulder. "See you soon Henry! Don't give up."

He got into the car and drove off. After a last wave, Henry enveloped Frankie with his arms. Saying goodbye was always a bit difficult.  
"I've never seen him so serious!" Frankie said. "He must be very worried about you."  
Henry sighed. "His comment was… interesting. He doesn't know that I drew Jesus. But the advice is good."  
They slowly made their way back inside.  
"Frankie, I'm going to bed. I don't feel up to facing the others. I can't talk about it and they might want me to."  
Frankie nodded. "I'll get your sketchpad and will soon be with you, ok?" They kissed briefly and he entered their room.

* * *

Frankie walked on towards the living room. The mood was still a bit oppressed when she came in. Whatever they were talking about, it stopped suddenly.  
"Don't stop on my account," she said.  
"Is he alright?" was Julia's question.  
Frankie sighed. "He will be, but it takes time."  
She took the sketchbook from the coffee table and closed it.

"Franks, you guys are going back to London as well tomorrow, right?" was Ed's question.  
She nodded. "Do you think…? Will Henry be alright driving?" he asked.  
Frankie thought for a moment.  
"I'm not sure at the moment. I surely wouldn't let him if he's feeling the same as today. You guys are leaving very early right?"  
"At seven," replied Mary with a grimace. "Work awaits."  
Frankie made a decision. "If he's not up for it, we'll be ready to leave by seven and we can have a lift? Otherwise we'll leave later."  
"Sounds like a plan," Ed said. "Mary, you can drive Henry's car if that's ok." she nodded. "No problem."  
Frankie then wished everyone goodnight and left with the book under her arm.

Henry was stretched upon the bed, his eyes closed. She could see however, that he wasn't sleeping.  
"Do you think you're up to driving tomorrow morning?" she asked.  
He slowly opened his eyes.  
"I'm not sure yet. If I sleep well tonight I should be ok."  
"Ok. Well, if not, Ed can give us a lift. Only they leave already at seven. So we would need to be ready by then." He nodded. "That's a good back-up plan." He closed his eyes again.

Frankie started to pack their bags. If they were to leave early, she might as well prepare.  
After twenty minutes she joined him in bed. He seemed nearly asleep, so she quietly turned off the lights. She kissed him lightly. "Sleep well, my love," she whispered.  
"You too!" he mumbled.

**Chapter 51**

Henry decided he should call Dr Johnson. Frankie had left almost as soon as they arrived in London. She needed to work in the afternoon. Luckily he had had a good night and had been able to drive himself.  
He figured he should tell the psychiatrist what had happened, so he set himself to it.

Even the phone call was emotionally tiring, so after he finished, he decided to lie down and maybe sleep a bit. Dr Johnson had asked him to keep him updated this week. The appointment was still set for next week but if he got worse again he had to make an emergency appointment.

His thoughts went back to the weekend. At first it had been weird to be back at Mansfield, but it had been nice. His breakdown had been entirely unexpected. He had been doing so well the past few weeks. He had hoped things were looking up. But then all of a sudden he was thrown back again. And as before, it left him shattered. He was glad he only had to work from Wednesday on. He needed the time to regain his strength and composure.  
The most annoying thing was that he was once more separated from Frankie.  
When he fell asleep he dreamed of her. Tonight they would Skype.

* * *

November passed by quickly. Henry slowly recovered from his setback, taking care to avoid things that could trigger his nightmares.

The mileage of his car mounted up quite high, because of all his trips to the Antigua. Frankie, despite all the busyness of life, managed to pass her theory test by the end of the month and consequently checked when she would be able to go up for her driving test. This was to take place two weeks before Christmas.

Somehow life had caught up. Henry's uncle had taken up a new project and, as the Everingham project was nearing its end, Henry was to take the lead for the next. He wasn't sure if this had been a tactic to get him back full time, because that's what it looked like. The first stage was always the busiest, so Henry found himself being at work most days during the week.

His sessions with the psychiatrist were now bi-weekly and Henry was glad that things got better.  
What did cause him pain, however, was the fact that through all the hectic of life he and Frankie weren't able to see each other as much as they wanted to.  
Clashing schedules made them only able to see each other only twice for a few days in the beginning of December.

The first of those times they went Christmas shopping together. He usually didn't like things like that, but it was nice to spend time with Frankie. She told a bit more about her family in the process of buying things for them. They also bought gifts for Mary and Ed.  
Henry had already got one of his presents for Frankie, the other one was made at the moment and he would be able to pick it up in a few days. He smiled when he thought about it. He was sure she would love it.

"Are you nervous about your driving test next week?" he asked her, when they were walking back to the car.  
"A little bit," was her answer. "I'm quite sure I can do it. You've been a very good teacher!" She smiled at him. "But still it's a bit scary, because it will be official."  
He laughed at her.  
"I'm sure you will do very well! I have faith in you!" He squeezed her hand encouragingly.  
"Thanks!"  
"So, what day again are you going to Portsmouth?" He asked.  
"I should be able to leave on the 19th. Will you be coming with me on that day?"  
"Ah yes, I was going to check that. I don't know why, but they planned to have the official opening of the Everingham on that day, so I will have to be there obviously."  
He saw her face fall. He felt the same.  
"I hate it but I have to be there," he said. She gave him a small smile. "I know."  
"After that I might need two more days to finish some stuff. So I guess that means I only will be able to join you the day before Christmas Eve."

She sighed. "I have no idea why it suddenly is so difficult to find time to see each other. I really hope the new year will be better."  
"I will make sure of that," he said. "I feel like my uncle tricked me this month, but I'm going to make sure he doesn't do that again. He has to accept that I will be working part time."  
"And I'm glad Mr Bertram is going to employ an assistant for me. After all, he will need to find someone anyway for when I leave for uni."

The rest of that weekend they hardly left each other at all. There seemed to be not enough hours in the day to be in each other's company. Frankie didn't even want to leave him at night, so once more they slept in each other's arms.

It was no surprise to him that Frankie passed her driving test without a problem, although she herself seemed to think otherwise.  
He was really proud of her and took her out for dinner that night.  
She had saved up some money and had bought a second hand car from a colleague and so she was driving them to the restaurant.  
They spent some nice time together; the food was great.  
However, Frankie was a bit off. She was happy with her results, but seemed rather tired. They went home quite early.  
"What do you want to do tomorrow?" he asked.

She sighed. "Sorry, I hadn't told you yet, but I've swapped a shift, for one of the younger girls has to go to a funeral. So I'll first do her shift and then my own. So I'm really sorry, but I will be busy all day."  
Henry felt quite disappointed, but knew there was nothing he could do about it.  
He slept restless. He couldn't shake off his disappointment; he felt a bit worried.

The next day he was a bit out of sorts, because of it. Frankie was affected by it as well and a few times she snapped at him. It hurt.  
When she was working he did a long run, which made him feel a bit better. In the afternoon he doodled. He tried to work on his comic but he found he lacked inspiration and motivation. Instead he let his mind and his pencil wander.

In the end he had a picture of a house. He recognised it. He had drawn it before, when he was a teenager. Back then he started to take interest in design and architecture and had drawn his dream house. His uncle, who he showed the picture to, had laughed a bit and encouraged him to keep practising.  
Of course now the house had much more details and was better proportioned.

A thought came into his mind. What would Frankie say if he suggested they may start looking for a house together? He saw mostly advantages to it, but he wasn't sure what she would say. He knew how independent she was. Maybe it was best to just ask. It did make him feel a bit nervous though.

In the evening Frankie collapsed on her sofa. "I won't be moving an inch anymore tonight!" she declared.  
He laughed a bit. "Just one more, please?" He sat beside her and started to massage her shoulders. She leaned back.  
"Ok, one inch more then." She sighed. "On days like this I have to remind myself that I actually like my job. For it doesn't feel like it at the moment."  
"Are you looking forward to uni?" he asked. "It will probably be weird that you then won't have a job anymore."  
She nodded. "It will be a bit strange but I can't wait to start!"

His next question was very careful. "And have you thought about where you're going to live?"  
She turned around to look at him. "Maybe I'll have to find a student room in Winchester or so. Or maybe…" her voice died away.  
He smiled. "Maybe we ought to look at finding a place together?" Inwardly he was a bit nervous at what her answer would be.  
She was quiet for a moment and then said: "Yeah, that would be nice." She got a twinkle in her eyes. "At least it saves us from commuting and having annoying times as this month, with not enough time to meet." The last was mixed with a bit of pain.  
His smile got broader, but he only said: "I'm glad you like the idea! Shall we wait with making plans until the new year though?"  
She nodded. "I'm looking forward to it!"

He resumed the massage and she leaned into his touch.  
"Henry?" she suddenly said.  
"What is it, love?"  
"I'm sorry for this morning. I shouldn't have snapped at you." She looked serious.  
"I have to admit it hurt, but I know you're a bit stressed these days. Apology accepted. I'll try to be more cautious with what I say."  
She sighed. "I hate the stress. And then not having you around, makes it more difficult. But then, instead of enjoying what time we spend together, I take it out on you. I'm sorry."  
He embraced her and put his chin on her shoulder. "Let's savour what we have now, instead of thinking about other times."  
She nodded and he placed a kiss on her cheek. She slightly turned her head towards him and kissed him back.

_A.N. I would love to hear some comments about my story! Thank you for everyone who is reading it. :-) _


	18. Chapter 52-54

**Chapter 52**

_A.N. I found this one of the most difficult chapters to write. You will see why._

Henry wished he could forget the next day. In the days after he often wondered about what he could have done differently.  
It started off alright, with them having a long and lazy breakfast in bed. After that they wanted to go out, but walking through the corridor, one of the girls hired for the season, came up to Frankie, asking her to help for she didn't know how to do something. Frankie sighed and mouthed '2 minutes' at him while she followed the girl. Twenty minutes later she came back with a frown, muttering something about paying attention during training. They finally continued towards the lobby. Then the guy behind reception stopped them and asked if Frankie could cover that afternoon. It would be for only two hours. He had to pick up something in town.

"Have you asked around if someone else could help out?" Frankie asked, a bit sharply. He nodded. "Yes, but no one can help out, but I really need to go. It can't wait."  
"But why didn't you sort this out earlier?" she asked.  
He told that he had only become aware of it the previous evening.  
Frankie sighed. "Ok, but just for 2 hours!"  
Henry rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He thought that, although she was in charge, people still took advantage of Frankie sometimes. She might be a bit too compliant.

They went out as planned, but had to come back earlier. Henry found a seat near Frankie in the reception area and did some sketching.  
It almost seemed something was in the air. Although being a Sunday afternoon and good weather, somehow many guests were still around. Normally Sunday afternoon would be one of the quietest moments in the hotel, but not today. Frankie had to deal with petty complaints, phone calls and all sorts of requests. She had hardly any rest. Some comments were ridiculous, but still she had to be polite and help out.  
Henry knew she was good at it but he could see her patience was rather wearing thin this afternoon. There was an edge to her smile and he could see sometimes she had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes.  
Henry went and got her a cup of tea and a doughnut, which was gratefully received.

When the colleague finally turned up half an hour after the promised time, Henry could see it took Frankie all she got to not lash out on the guy about his timing.  
They left the lobby and went to her room.

* * *

Frankie felt on edge and she didn't really know why. True, work was really stressful at the moment, but she felt she overreacted a bit to it. Yet she couldn't change it at the moment.  
She let Henry hold her for a while in an attempt to calm her down.  
She could see he really wanted to help. But at the moment Frankie herself didn't really know what would make her feel better.  
In an hour or so, he had to leave and they wouldn't be able to see each other until a few days before Christmas. It frustrated her that apparently life could become so hectic that it came in the way of their relationship.  
She realised how lucky they had been in a way, in their first month together. True, the reason was not nice at all. For she would never wish for Henry to go through all his pain again. But because of it they had been together a lot.

She felt slightly better at the prospect of them talking about living together in the new year. She had never imagined it, but she looked forward to that day.  
She thought about that evening of Henry's first 'proposal', where he had asked her if she would move to London. So much had changed since then. She wasn't sure if she would want to live in London, although she enjoyed her time there. But that was mainly because of Henry's presence. She was sure that almost anywhere would do, as long as it was with him.

She got out of his embrace, too restless. She didn't see the hurt on his face because of her apparent careless gesture.  
"Frankie, you need to calm down a bit. What's wrong?" Henry sounded worried but she could also hear some exasperation.  
"I don't know what's wrong," she said a bit sharp. "Maybe the fact that you're leaving soon?"  
He sighed. "You know there's nothing I could do about that. Better accept that. Come, let's focus on something else." He extended his hand to her.  
"It's easy for you to say. I'm not the one leaving," she said, a bit angry. She knew she was unreasonable, but just couldn't hold back.

Something flashed over his face that she'd never seen there before.  
"Oh really? And who is the one always driving over here?" he sounded angry. "Who's the one who always has to comply with your ridiculous work hours? Do you think that is easy?"

She was hurt by his words.  
"You know I can't do anything about that either," she defended herself.  
"Yes you can," was his quick reply. "You're the one in charge of the rotas…"  
"You know very well that I have to share in the more difficult hours as well, Henry! You can't expect me to leave all the weekends and late hours to my team."  
He cut in: "I know that, but you're taking up many more extra ones. Look at only this afternoon. You need to learn to say no. They're using you, just as Norris did."

"Stop telling me what to do!" her voice now sounded shrill. She felt the truth behind his words, but she didn't like the way he said it.  
"I can well imagine you being so tired come Christmas that all you'll do is sleep. No doubt you'll be working around the clock this week." Why did his voice sound so sarcastic?  
Her stomach tightened and started to hurt.  
"Maybe you needn't come over then. Saves you having to drive there, again." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She felt as if she stuck a knife in her own heart. She could see the pain on Henry's face and quickly looked away.

It suddenly was very quiet.  
His voice was unsteady. "Did you… mean that?" he asked.  
Suddenly she felt deflated. She shook her head and then started to cry.  
In an instant his arms were around her.  
"I'm so sorry Frankie, I shouldn't have become angry at you! I know you're tired."  
She couldn't answer but clung to him.  
Why did she just let herself caught up in a fight with him? How selfish was that!  
"I'm sorry Henry. I shouldn't have said all those things."

She felt so ashamed that she couldn't look at him. She made herself stop crying. It was her own fault, so she needed to bear it. She couldn't have her crying make him feel guilty.  
"Henry, it's my fault. Don't take the blame." She slowly got out of his embrace, carefully this time. She gave him a weak smile when she sat down on her bed.  
"Maybe… I guess you should pack your bag. It's nearly time." Her voice still shook.  
He looked almost defeated. He cleared his throat and said with a deep sigh: "I guess you're right."  
Quietly he set to work. Frankie followed him with her eyes. Her stomach still hurt. She knew it was because she had hurt him.  
He left after a tentative embrace. "I'll Skype you when I'm home," he said before he drove away.

Frankie eyed the car until it was out of sight. Her tears waited until she was back at her room. The raw pain she felt she recognised. It was similar to what she had felt when Henry was in hospital. The fear of losing him. But now it was not to death, but because of her own stupidity.  
She wished he would come back. Her arms hurt. She missed him already and it was her own fault.

Absentmindedly she got out her laptop and opened it. Sometimes it helped her if she watched some of her videos in which Henry appeared. It soothed her to see him and hear him talk, even though just on a screen.

One of Mary's videos came up as a suggestion to watch. It happened regularly, but she never was interested in them, so she still hadn't watched them.  
Now for some reason she clicked on the first one to watch. She was shocked at how early on Mary had already discovered her videos. Frankie first felt angry at why Mary hadn't told her about it. But she now could see the point Mary had made. She would definitely have stopped making her videos if she'd known.

The second one was even more shocking. Especially the fact that Mary had picked up something about her feelings for Ed. But she was a bit pleased to hear her praise for Ed. And was glad that it had worked out well for them.

Then she wished she could unsee the next one. It was very painful to see the man she loved more than her life, talking about herself as if she were an object, a project that needed to be done.

He had told her many times since, how he regretted those words. She knew he had changed and yet it hurt. To hear him talk so careless about her heart. That hurt the most. For her heart was totally his now, irrevocably. To hear of his intentions to toy with it.  
She grimaced at Mary's comment that Frankie would know that something was up. For indeed she had been suspicious from the beginning.  
She suddenly realised she had done the worst thing she could do after their fight. It made her pain even deeper. Why had she watched it?

She hadn't realised how much time had passed, when her computer told her a Skype call was coming in.  
Automatically she clicked on the video icon, before she realised that maybe it wouldn't be wise to show herself. She knew her emotions would be visible to him and he would ask.  
"Hi Henry, good to see you home safely!" she said with a forced smile.

* * *

Henry was almost surprised that he made it home in one piece. His mind felt worn out. Throughout the journey their fight repeated itself in his head. He wondered what he could have done different. He knew he shouldn't have reacted angry and she didn't deserve his sarcasm.

He was glad Mary wasn't around, for he would not have been able to hide his mood but neither would he have been able to talk about it.  
He didn't know what to do now. Then he thought of his promise to Skype Frankie as soon as he was home. So he took out his computer and started the programme.

Frankie seemed very distracted when she answered; he could see she had been crying. His stomach hurt, seeing her state. He wanted nothing more than to put his arms around her, be close to her.  
Her smile when she greeted him was forced, he saw.  
"Hi Frankie. Yes, I'm back in London." Home was with her, he realised. He felt empty.  
He didn't really know what to say.  
"I'm… sorry again for what I said," he stammered at last.

For some reason she didn't look at him.  
"It's my fault," was her answer. There was something more. He could see it, but she didn't say it.  
"Frankie, what's the matter? There's something more than just our fight that's bothering you." She looked up briefly and he could see he was right. But then she looked down again.  
"What is it? Please talk!" he tried again.  
Now she looked up, straight at him.

"I… watched some of Mary's videos." He could see her pain. "I… can't believe you said all these awful things about me!"  
Henry closed his eyes. He knew what she must be referring to. "I told you I was sorry about it and you know things have changed drastically since then." He looked at her and he could see she took in his words.  
She nodded. "I know that. But it still hurts. I wish I could unsee it."  
They were both quiet for a while. Henry didn't really know what he could say or do. It was clear that she was upset about it. Many times since he had regretted his words. He couldn't exactly remember what he had said, but it hadn't been nice at all.

"What… can I do to make you feel better?" He knew it was better to just ask, instead of assuming, with the chance of making the wrong guess.  
She was quiet for so long, he thought she hadn't heard him.  
At last she looked up in the camera.

"I don't know. I'm not… mad at you. I can't really, since you've already apologised. But I am upset about it. Maybe I need some time to think. Sort myself out. I don't want to ruin our Christmas because of it." She sighed deeply. "I know you will be sad about this, but is it possible for the next ten days or so, until we see each other again, to limit our contact to just texting? I feel I need the time to process some things. I know we both will be busy this coming week anyway…"

His face fell. Not seeing her, even via screen. That would be very difficult. But if that's what she needed, or thought she needed, he should respect her wishes.  
He nodded slowly. "I can't say I like it, but I will give you the space you need."  
A little smile appeared. "Thanks Henry!"  
They didn't say much after that, but their eyes were on the screen, as if both of them wanted to drink in the sight of the other.  
At last she said: "I think I'll be sleeping early." She grimaced. "Six o'clock tomorrow. But that's my own fault." Then she added: "I will think about what you said that I let people use me and how I could put up some boundaries for myself." She yawned.  
"Well, see you soon then! I love you!"  
He swallowed. "I love you too! Take care love!"

He sat for a long time after the connection was broken, his head in his hands. The prospect of not talking to her for ten days was daunting. He was glad that he would be busy most of the time.

It had been some weeks since he had had a nightmare. But this night his sleep was once more disturbed by one!  
Frankie was in the hospital and someone he didn't know, stood beside her with a big knife. "You said that you wanted to make a small whole in Frankie Price's heart. I'm here to help you with that!" the stranger said.  
"How could you say that Henry?" Frankie sobbed.  
The stranger put his knife on her chest.  
"No!" he shouted. "I didn't mean it! Don't do it! I'm sorry!"  
Before he could extend his hand to pull the stranger back, the dream stopped. He woke up, panting. How horrible had he been! How careless to talk like that!

She had said more than once that her heart belonged to him, just as he knew his was hers.  
How then could he betray her trust, by saying that?!  
He got up and got his laptop, resolved to watch the videos himself.  
He wasn't very surprised about the first two his sister had made, although he could imagine it had shocked Frankie.  
He was disgusted by his own conduct in the third and his smug face, when he had been sure of his success. Hearing Mary's warnings and still continue with his plan. But then there was the fact that she herself had said she was making Frankie a bit of a project herself.  
He watched a few more and was pleasantly surprised about the one with his and Frankie's chat in Mary's office. He hadn't known it had been filmed, but he remembered the conversation and had greatly enjoyed it.

After this, he tried to get back to sleep again for a few more hours.  
He was tired when he woke up the next morning, but felt slightly better. Seeing that last video had given him courage that things would work out again.  
He received a text from Frankie: 'Hi love, how did you sleep?'  
He grimaced, he was sure she knew.  
'Hi Frankie, you probably guessed it: I had a nightmare. After that I watched some of Mary's videos. Sorry again for my behaviour!'  
'I knew it about your nightmare! I've only seen the first three. How is the rest?'  
'Saw only a couple more. Did you know we were being filmed during our chat in Mary's office? You know, when we invented Architect Man.'  
'Really? And is it nice?'  
'Yes, I liked watching it. At least one positive memory from those videos.'  
'Alright, I'll watch it when I've got time. Off working now!'  
'Have a good day love! Speak to you soon!'  
'Love you x'

**Chapter 53**

Henry was glad the next few days flew past. He was busy in the office all day and managed to do some drawing in the evening. Mary had come up with an idea. She had asked him if he could draw a cartoon picture of a photo of her and Ed. She was sure that would be a lovely Christmas present to him.  
She insisted on paying him for it. He tried to persuade her otherwise, but she said she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't going to pay. Besides, she said, it wouldn't be a proper present if it hadn't cost her anything.  
So he set to the job and greatly enjoyed doing it.  
"I will make sure my friends will see it after I've given it to Ed," she said. "So I can boast about your talents and maybe others would want your services as well."  
He laughed. "You're trying to get me another job, aren't you?"  
She nodded. "Yes, you are talented and others should be able to appreciate it as well."

* * *

What Mary didn't say was that she wanted to give him some distraction. She had seen something was amiss when he came back from his weekend with Frankie. He seemed to be carefully avoiding talking about her. She didn't know what was wrong, but she hoped it would be solved soon. For now, she would try to get his mind off whatever problem there was and have him focus on something he loved doing.

* * *

He and Frankie exchanged various texts during the days, which he was glad of! She said she was really busy so didn't do much more than work and sleep, but other than that she was ok, she said.  
He really missed seeing her, but the texts were a little comfort.

On Saturday, when he got ready to leave for the opening party of the Everingham, he received a text that Frankie had arrived in Portsmouth and that she already was enjoying the fact of having Will around.

The party he found tedious. In the past he had enjoyed those parties, a combination of networking, booze, flirting and talking about his achievements.  
Now he physically missed having Frankie by his side. Alcohol and flirting no longer enthralled him and for the moment he was a bit weary of his work.  
So, as soon as politely possible, he left to go back home again.  
Frankie's text that evening told him that the 'monsters' – her step-siblings - were coming over for a few days now and then from boxing day onward as well. They would surely keep her busy.  
He smiled when he read it and couldn't help thinking about how it would be next week. Would those children really be loud and busy? He had never really been in the company of children, so he wasn't sure how that would be. Hopefully next week he would find out.

The last few days went fast. He didn't know why, but work was very stressful. The only thing that kept him going, was the prospect of seeing Frankie in a few days' time.  
Mary's picture was finished in time and she had it framed. Henry was happy with the result and so was Mary.

On Tuesday evening he received a text from Frankie.  
'Just watched the rest of Mary's videos. I liked the Architect Man one! Have you seen the one after that?'  
'No, not yet. Is it worth watching?'  
'Yes! I love you!'  
Of course she said that often, but it was a bit weird in this point of their chat.

He got out his laptop and found the video she mentioned. Once more he was surprised that Mary had captured this on video! It was the one where he had asked her to give the earrings to Frankie.

'Both of you know how to capture the most interesting conversations on video!' He sent.  
Instead of an answer, she sent him a photo. How he loved seeing her smiling face! But he immediately saw why she had sent it. She was wearing his earrings!  
Then the next text came: 'I'm really looking forward to your coming! X'

He smiled, understanding what she meant, in relation to the video. It made him very happy!  
'So, what time will you be arriving?' was her next question.  
'Brace yourself. I've got bad news and good news. What shall I tell first?'  
'I guess the bad stuff…'  
'I'm afraid I will be busy here until Thursday morning. I will be able to travel in the afternoon.'  
Her reaction was a few sad emoji's.

'The good news is that I've had a long conversation with my uncle. I've threatened him that I would leave the company if he didn't let me have my way. That's his biggest fear because he wants me to take over once he retires. So he agreed. We've even put it into a contract. From the new year on I work 3 days a week, and, depending on projects, I choose which days. So I can adjust my schedule to yours, if you want to!'

The answer was a lot of happy emoji's.  
'That is great news! I would almost forget that I won't see you until Thursday instead of tomorrow!'  
He laughed.  
'Are the monsters keeping you busy?'  
A rolling eyes emoji. 'They definitely do! They're leaving tomorrow though. And then come back on Saturday.'  
After a few more texts, they said good night.

**Chapter 54**

"The next station is Portsmouth Harbour. This is the end of the line," a voice came from the intercom.  
Henry got up and made his way to the doors. The train was busy, even though this was the last station.  
It was on days like this that he remembered why he didn't like public transport. Especially on Christmas Eve.

He felt restless. Which was weird. He was looking forward to seeing Frankie again after a week and a half. They hadn't parted in the best of ways, but he knew all would be sorted out soon. She would be waiting for him at the station. He had missed her terribly. Even though it happened regularly that they didn't see each other during the week. But because she had said she needed some time, they only had communicated via text, instead of Skype which they usually did most days.

He tried to look through the window, but it was dark. The train was slowing and vaguely he could see the station appearing. My, it was busy on the platforms as well. Why would so many people still travel on Christmas Eve? It was ridiculous. But then, he was one of them. So he couldn't really blame them. He tried to look through the crowds on the platform but he didn't see Frankie. He sent her a text. There was no reply. Maybe she didn't feel her phone if it was in her bag. When the doors finally opened, he tried to hurry out. But so was everyone else. He searched the platform again. But no sign of her. Where was she? Was she late? She had said she would be there. It didn't feel good.

Nonsense, she was just delayed. No big deal. He knew how to get to her house. Maybe she was waiting outside the station.  
He didn't see her outside. He went back in and checked the kiosk. Then he scanned the crowds but still no luck. He tried to phone her. He hurried outside so he could hear better. But her phone went straight to voicemail. "Love. I'm at the station. Where are you? Please let me know where you are. Love you!"

He scanned the outside of the station. He recognised the place where they had met back in September and where they had had that awkward conversation.  
He decided to walk towards her house. Hopefully he would meet her on the way.  
He tried to ring her again, but the voicemail kicked in straight away. Did she have her phone off? Why would she do that? His sense of unease grew.  
"Frankie, I'm leaving the station now and in the direction of your house. Please ring me back."

Whilst walking he kept looking around. It was busy everywhere. People spilled out of the tunnel from Gunwharf Quays. He couldn't understand why people left it so late to do their Christmas shopping.  
Henry was glad about the existence of Google maps because in the dark everything looked so different. He would have gotten lost quite quickly.  
He tried ringing her again, but no result. "Love, where are you? Are you alright? Please ring me back!"

His worry grew almost by every step.  
Then he stopped. He knew this feeling. It was what Frankie had been describing quite a few times. The way she just knew whenever he was having a nightmare.  
Something was definitely not right. It could be all sorts of silly reasons as to why she hadn't been there to pick him up. But somehow he knew it was something serious.

He decided to ring Will. Maybe he knew what had happened.  
"Henry! Are you guys nearly here?"  
"Will! No, what? Where is Frankie?"  
"She left about half an hour ago. Did you not see her at the station?"  
His stomach turned.  
"No, she was not there. I'm walking now towards your place, but haven't seen her anywhere. And she's not answering her phone."  
"It's probably buried in her bag so she doesn't hear it. Wait, no her bag is here." He heard Will rummaging through it. "No phone in here."  
"Will, the phone goes straight to voicemail. Why would she have her phone off? She never turns her phone off, unless it's empty."

Will's voice sounded tight. "Thanks Crawford, for making me worried about my sister now. I'll try calling her as well. Maybe I should start walking towards you and we hope we'll see her somewhere halfway. She might have run into a friend or so."  
Henry slowly let his breath go.  
"Yeah maybe." He wasn't convinced about that.  
"Will, please walk in this direction. I have got a very bad feeling about this!"  
Will's voice sounded worried now: "What makes you say that?"  
He shrugged. "I don't know. Intuition maybe?"  
"Well ok. I'll ring her now and let you know if I've got any luck. And then I'll walk your way."  
Henry nodded. "Thanks Will. See you soon."

He kept walking and looking around.  
Did she not want to see him? They had had some difficulty the last few weeks, but she had said she was looking forward to seeing him again. She had said she didn't want to spend Christmas without him. And she had promised to pick him up from the station. And she always intended to keep her promises.  
Oh, where was she?  
"Jesus, I'm very worried now," he whispered. "Please let me find Frankie soon! Keep her safe please!"

He turned a few more corners when he heard some shouting. It came from ahead of him. Then he stood suddenly still. He heard Frankie's voice shouting something.


	19. Chapter 55-57

**Chapter 55**

_A.N. This chapter is quite shocking so be prepared._

Nothing in life could have prepared Henry Crawford for what he heard next.

"Get off me, you twat. Don't you dare touch me!" Frankie sounded very angry.  
"Aah, are you afraid, _Love_?" someone else mocked.  
"We should wait for her boyfriend. He might have some money. And he will be glad to part with it to prevent us from doing _this_."  
Another shout from Frankie: "F off!"

Henry wanted to run around that corner. They were doing something to her. They were hurting his Love!  
His phone rang. Quickly, as to not alert anyone by the ringtone, he picked up.  
"Henry, where are you?"  
"Will," he whispered. "I think I've found Frankie."  
"Why are you whispering? Wait what? Where is she?"  
"I think she's around the corner from me, but some scum seems to be attacking her. I need to go and get her."  
"Wait," was Will's reply. "Be careful. Check out the situation first. You don't want to make things worse."  
He breathed deeply. All he wanted to do was storm around the corner and rescue her. But Will had a point.  
"Ok, I will peek around the corner hoping they won't see me. Shh, keep quiet now."  
He carefully moved over. Frankie was still shouting insults and fighting it seemed.

Then he saw what was happening. He drew a sharp breath. "What's happening?" was Will's whispered question.  
"Shh."  
Frankie stood there, alone, three guys surrounding her.  
"Do we have to wait longer?" asked one of them.  
"I'm sure he's coming. Did you not hear that voicemail message?"  
His blood ran cold. They had taken Frankie's phone and had let it go to voicemail. They knew he was coming.  
"What if it's a strong guy? We better get on with her now. I want to have some fun already."

Henry had to bite his tongue to not shout out.  
He whispered in his phone: "Three scumbags have cornered Frankie. They've got her phone and if they're doing something to her I will kill them." The last bit he said through gritted teeth.  
He heard Will swear. "I think I can hear them. I think I'm at the other side of that road."  
Some commotion was heard.  
"Sod off! Don't touch me!" Frankie slapped one of the men in his face.  
"Don't slap me, you bitch!" the man yelled.  
But now the other two stepped in. They grabbed both her arms and turned them behind her back.  
From this distance Henry could hear her wince. His stomach turned and he hurt.  
Then the man she had been slapping, slapped her back.  
Henry winced.

"Right, I'm done with waiting," said the same guy. "We can have both her and his money."  
Then to her: "So, little one. I think your boyfriend is a coward. I don't think he's going to turn up. And why should he have all the fun? A little sharing can do no harm?!" the voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Will, call the police, now!" Henry whispered fiercely in his phone.  
"Ok," and the phone was hung up.  
Henry ached all over. He wanted to just run in. They were touching her! No one had that right!

If he wasn't so upset, he would have been proud of the way she kept fighting. She was kicking as much as possible and shouting until one of the men covered her mouth.  
Henry could see she tried to bite him.  
The man that wasn't holding her, was looking up and down her and opened the zip of her coat.

Henry was going to run, now.

His phone rang. Luckily the group was too busy so they didn't notice.  
"Henry! The police are coming. I can see them now and I can see you I think." He saw Will's head peeking around the corner.  
"I can see you!"  
"Henry. We need to do this careful and quick. We can't risk anything worse happening to her. We have to sneak their way as quiet as possible. Stay in the shadows. Don't make any noise. Turn off your sound. I will take the two that are holding her. You take the other. Have you ever knocked someone out?"  
"Huh? I guess."  
"That's not an answer. Focus, Crawford. Be quick and hard. Hit him at the nose or the chin. Maybe the chin is better. With as much force as possible."  
He nodded.  
"Ok, Henry?"  
"Ok."  
Will sounded stern. "Keep yourself together! Frankie needs you! Now, no words." He hung up.

Henry quickly put his phone in his pocket and when he saw Will starting to move forward in the shadows, he followed the example. They were at about the same distance as to where Frankie was still trying to fight for her life. 'Please, keep making as much noise as you can,' he silently encouraged her.  
As if she heard him, she started to make more commotion, trying to be as loud as possible although her mouth was covered.

The man in front of her stopped with her clothes.  
"Shut up, slut!" He reached over and pressed his lips on her mouth until her head moved out of the way.  
Henry felt white hot with anger. He bit his lip until he tasted blood, so as not to shout.  
He focused on where Will was. They were now both nearing the place. All three men were focused on Frankie's havoc, so they managed to sneak up as close as possible.

Then he saw Frankie's eyes go wide. She saw him.  
He motioned her to stay quiet. She did but she looked scared. For him! He could read her eyes after these few months and even though she herself was in more danger, she still wanted to protect him!  
With a little nod he motioned that he was not alone.  
Frankie seemed to know what to do and continued her noise and trying to wriggle herself free.  
Henry now could see the other two go rigid as Will grabbed them in a special way. Their hands fell off Frankie's arms and she started to move.  
"O no, you don't," the guy still standing said. Then he seemed to see something from the corner of his eye and turned around.  
"Ah, here's the boyfriend. I've got your little bitch here. If you want…" he never finished as Henry planted his fist on the guy's face with such a strength that the man instantly tumbled back and fell to the ground.  
Henry looked for a moment from the man to his own fist, which was bleeding somehow.

Then only one thing mattered. He crossed the space between them and caught Frankie, who –now the battle finally seemed over – started to faint.  
He wrapped his arms around her and steadied her.  
"Oh, Frankie. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm so sorry. I love you." Tears were now streaming down his face and he felt getting weak now it was over. Somehow he managed to sit himself down and Frankie with him on his lap.  
Will let go of the two other men who slumped on the ground, unconscious.  
Then he rushed towards them and threw also his arms around his sister. "Frankie," was all he could whisper.

A van with a flickering blue light turned the corner and stopped nearby.  
Four armed policemen came out and walked towards them.  
"Who called us because of an assault?" one of them asked.

Will stood up. "That was me. Those bastards were having a go at my sister." He pointed at the unconscious three on the ground. Three of the policemen walked towards them and checked their vitals. Then they handcuffed them and roused them. As soon as they came round they started to whimper. With some force they were brought into the van and then disappeared. Another police car came around the corner.

"Frankie, the police are here," Henry whispered. She roused and then started shaking uncontrollably in his arms. She looked around and then started to cry.  
The fourth police man came closer. "Madam, are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance? Did they… rape you?"  
She barely looked up. "No. I am… not hurt. I think they were going to though." She shivered even more and clung to Henry even tighter.  
"Sorry, where are my manners," the man said. "My name is Officer Harris."  
"Frankie Price."  
"Henry Crawford. I'm Frankie's boyfriend.  
"Will Price. I'm her brother."  
"Miss Price, do you think you can walk to the car? We'll get you to the office. That's better than staying here."  
Will helped Frankie up and Henry got himself up. Together they supported her towards the car.

* * *

They were led into a small cosy room with some comfortable chairs and a coffee machine in the corner.  
"Do you want anything to drink?" officer Harris asked.  
Henry and Will wanted coffee. Frankie just wanted water. Her teeth clattered against the glass and Henry had to steady her hand.

"Do you think you can tell us what happened?" the man's voice was kind and empathetic.  
Somehow Frankie found some courage. She straightened up a bit and took a deep breath.

"I… was on my way to the station to pick up Henry. There were quite a lot of people around so I didn't notice them at first. However, this… road was quiet. I could hear them come closer. One of them started to walk in front of me and asked for the time. That's when I got Henry's text message so, having my phone out already, I told them the time although I didn't really like that. Then the other two started to walk next to me. One of them asked where I got such a nice phone. I tried to put it back in my pocket but one of them held my arm so I couldn't move it. I hit him off with my other hand, but then the other took my wrist with such a force I had to let go of my phone. They asked if I had any money and they didn't believe me when I said I had no money on me. They… started to search my pockets.

Then it rang. They made it go straight to voicemail and listened to the message. They started to ask who Henry was and started to threaten about what they would do to him if I wasn't complying to their wishes. I shouted at them and kicked them as much as I could. I hoped someone would hear me. They were just laughing at my face."

Frankie told about how they had reacted at the two other messages of Henry and then Will's. They seemed to have as much fun playing with her phone as with holding her. They even took pictures.

Frankie shuddered again.

"They were saying they would wait until Henry arrived, so he would pay them to not _touch_ me. One of them got a bit impatient and… ugh." She couldn't speak for a while. Unconsciously she had crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I slapped him in the face. The others then twisted my arms behind my back, so I could not move. Then he slapped me and started to undo my clothes. I couldn't move." She started to shake again. Henry caressed her arms, which seemed to calm her down a bit.

"I started to shout again and then that… monster… kissed me to make me shut up." She rubbed her lips as if she was still feeling it.  
"Then I saw Henry coming. I was so afraid they would do something to him. But they didn't see him and then the two that were holding me were suddenly gone and then Henry knocked the other out." She stopped talking with a deep sigh and reached for her glass of water. Henry helped her drinking.

"Thank you Miss Price, Frankie! You have been very brave! Gentlemen, can I hear your part of the story please?"

Will motioned to Henry.  
Henry felt the pain and the anger bubbling up again. He held up his hand to motion that they should wait. He sighed deep a few times and willed his breathing back to normal. Frankie had been strong when she was talking. He would be strong too.  
He told about his growing worry when she hadn't been there at the station. And the fact that he couldn't reach her by phone. That he had phoned Will. And then had heard Frankie shouting. He told that he had been on the point of turning the corner to help her, when Will had called him back and had warned him to be careful. He told about their strategy, well, Will's strategy. He seethed again when he tried to describe what he saw and heard. And how he had knocked over the guy. He looked at his hand. Suddenly it hurt. Through all the adrenaline he hadn't noticed it before. It was just a graze, but it did hurt.  
"His chin was rather sharp," he grimaced. Officer Harris came and had a look. He cleaned the wound and put on a plaster.

Then he asked for Will's side of the story, which he told. He also explained that he was in the navy and that his skills came from there. The officer agreed that Will's approach had probably been the best to handle this situation.

Henry could feel Frankie was on the verge of collapsing.  
"Do you want to go home, love? Or do you need some rest first?"  
"I want to go home," her voice sounded so thin, he could hardly hear it.  
They exchanged contact details.

The officer explained that Frankie would get a phone call from victim help and if she wanted would get more support. Also he would keep them up to date about any legal stuff and about the outcome of the interrogation of the three criminals.  
Then he brought them back home in the car. Will had rung his mum to tell shortly what happened.

**Chapter 56**

When they entered the house, Frankie's mum came towards her with a worried face and wanted to embrace her. Frankie recoiled. Henry saw the hurt on Sue's face.  
"Sorry mum, I can't yet," was all Frankie could say. She collapsed on the sofa. She was still shivering although at the police office she had received a blanket. Henry knew it was not from the outside temperature. She was still in shock.

Her mum came with a mug of tea, which Frankie gratefully accepted. Henry saw how she struggled to keep her hands still. She looked up to him and he took the mug from her hands. Then he helped her drink.  
"Thanks Henry," she whispered.

Sue and John looked like they wanted to hear what had happened exactly, but weren't sure if they wanted to ask her. Frankie didn't seem to see their looks. He saw the pain in her eyes and wished he could take it away. Unconsciously she was rubbing her arms frantically. Then she said, "I need a bath. I can still feel their touch." She looked disgusted.  
Henry saw her mum quietly exiting the room towards the bathroom and a moment later he heard the tap running.  
Her mum clearly loved her, although they weren't very close. The woman really wanted to help her daughter.

When Frankie had finished her drink, Henry helped her up and they walked towards the bathroom.  
"Thanks mum," she said, when they entered. Frankie's mum had made the room comfortable and warm and got out the softest towels. Sue blushed and a little smile appeared. "You need it Franks." Then she left.

Henry hesitated. "Do you want my help?"  
She looked up at him. "Please stay with me."  
He helped her with her clothes, as her hands were still shaking. Then she stepped into the warm bath.  
"I will put your clothes in the washing machine and I will get you clean ones, ok? I will be back in a minute." He left the room and when he came back, she was rubbing her arms with a washcloth.

Henry was shocked when he took a good look at her arms. There were bruises all over the place and some deep red marks, especially on her wrists.  
"Let me help you, love," he said.  
She looked desperately at him.  
"I still feel their… claws. I can't wash it off." Henry's heart hurt. He knelt next to the bath. Her left cheek had a big red mark and her eye was getting black. The scoundrel had hit her really hard.

Henry took over the washcloth, made it wet and then ever so gently started to wash her face. She closed her eyes. Slowly he made circles over the mark. She seemed to relax a bit. Then he kissed it. "You're my brave, beautiful girl, Frankie. I love you!" He whispered. He kissed her lips, she winced a bit, but he was very careful. Slowly she kissed him back. "Is he gone yet?" he whispered. She nodded. "I think so." she smiled a little.  
Then he took one of her arms and, starting with the fingers, slowly washed it as well. Her eyes were still closed as she let him wipe away the traces of the unwanted touches. Henry was glad she was not looking at him. For seeing those marks close by, he felt the anger boil up again. He could kill them, for all they'd done to her.  
With effort he calmed himself down. He needed to be here for Frankie. She needed his full focus.

"Is that better?" he asked, when he finished with her arm. She nodded.  
He repeated with her other arm. "How's your shoulders?" he then asked. "It must have hurt, when they twisted your arms."  
"They do hurt. As muscle soreness." Henry moved behind her and massaged her shoulders. She leaned back into his touch. "Thank you Henry. That helps." She turned around to kiss him.  
"Are you still cold, love?"  
"A bit," she answered. Then she coloured. "You managed to wipe away their hands from my arms. But…" she coloured even more, but it was more because of pain than of embarrassment, he saw. Then he understood.  
"I'll be careful," he said. "But you need to tell me when to stop." She nodded.

He dipped the washcloth in the water again and as gentle as possible he started to wash her neck and then her breasts and the rest of her upper body. He looked at her face. Somehow she was relaxing. He focused himself totally on erasing her pain. He didn't allow himself to think about other things. This was weird, but he knew it was necessary. She needed to get rid of the memory of their touches. Otherwise it would have consequences for her future; for their future, most likely. She needed to be able to trust him completely and somehow she did, right at this moment.

A little smile appeared when she opened her eyes. "You're amazing! I do feel better now!" He smiled back at her. "I'm glad to hear that. Are you still cold?"  
She shook her head. "No. Except that the water is cooling down a bit."  
They sat a while in silence. Then she got up. Henry handed her the towel and wrapped it around her. Then he embraced her. "Things will be better again, Frankie!"  
She sighed. "I know. Oh Henry, I was so afraid of what they would do to you! And I couldn't do anything against it." He had read that in her eyes before, but he was still surprised about it.  
"Were you not afraid for yourself then?" he couldn't help asking.  
"Yes, I was, but I couldn't stand the thought of them doing… stuff to you. The things they said, were absolutely awful." She shuddered again.  
"I think you should get dressed, love. Shall I wait outside or do you want help?"

She coloured a bit. "I think I will manage now." Then she pulled his face closer and kissed him. "I don't know how I would have coped without you! I don't even know what to say, other than that I love you even more!" She kissed him again and he answered her with tenderness.  
Then he turned around and left the bathroom.

**Chapter 57**

John had cooked a lovely meal, but none of them seemed really hungry. Frankie seemed to feel a bit better than before, but was still withdrawn and shivered every now and then. Henry could see that Will must have told them what had happened and both Sue and John did their best to make Frankie feel better.  
After dinner they sat in the living room. The room felt cosy with the Christmas tree lights on and other decorations glittering. It wasn't really Henry's taste, but it was nice. Frankie seemed to relax as she sat next to him on the sofa.

Henry took a newspaper from the coffee table. It was a local one, filled not just with the news but also with a list of activities as to what was happening over the holidays. There was an article about a special service to be held in Portsmouth Cathedral. Henry pointed at it for Frankie.  
"If you feel up to it, would you like to go there tomorrow?" She quickly read it.  
"Yes, that would be good to do."  
The message tone of a phone was heard. Frankie froze. Will reached for the phone on the table. "It's yours Franks," he said and wanted to give it to her.  
She pulled back. "No, I don't want to touch that thing."  
Will took it back and looked. "You've got various text messages. Do you want me to read them then?"  
She nodded hesitantly.  
"The first one is from Mary. 'Frankie, are you alright? A strange tweet! Happy Christmas. X' Another one from Ed, saying basically the same. And Suzy. What did you put on Twitter?"

Frankie looked up quite shocked. "Nothing. I don't think I've posted anything for a week or so." Will looked suspicious and Henry felt sick suddenly. He crossed eyes with Frankie and her eyes grew wide. "What did they put on there?"  
Will now quickly went to the Twitter app. He almost threw the phone away with disgust.  
"Ugh, how dare they!" Once more he tried to hand them the phone. Henry took it and they both looked. On her Twitter feed was a photo, apparently a selfie from the one who had slapped her. Underneath he had put the text: 'who needs Henry, when this handsome is around.'  
Henry dropped the phone as if it was on fire.  
"This is absolutely disgusting! Will, the police need to see this!"  
Will took the phone, made a screenshot and then phoned the number they had been given. After stating their case number, he told about the tweet. Then he texted them the screen shot.  
"I'm going to delete this tweet and will put a quick message out that that wasn't your own tweet. People need to know."  
Frankie nodded. She had a far-away look in her eyes and had started to shiver again.  
Henry gently rubbed her arms. He didn't know what to say, so he quietly prayed for their situation. For peace despite everything.  
Will interrupted: "So, that's done. Now I want to know what else they have been doing. Frankie, did you say they were on your phone for quite a while?"  
She only nodded, seemingly not able to speak.  
"Ugh, these photos are revolting. I better check your other social media as well." And after two minutes, "Luckily they seemed to only have done Twitter. I'll send these pictures to the police as well."

The doorbell rang. Sue went to open the door and came back with Suzy. Will's eyes lit up. Apparently they had been on a few dates, but according to Frankie, they were taking it slow.  
Suzy came straight to Frankie. "Hey Franks, how are you? What happened?" she wanted to give a hug, but Frankie pulled back, wincing at the touch.  
"What's wrong?" Suzy said, alarmed. "And your face!"  
Frankie started to shake and then tried to get up. Henry gave her a hand.  
"Sorry Suzy. Will, can you tell her please?" He guided Frankie out of the door. She was still very upset. Henry took her in his arms and gently caressed her back.  
When she was calmed down a bit, they went back in. Suzy's eyes were on them. "Franks, I'm so sorry you had to go through this!"

John brought in drinks and mince pies. The others talked about other subjects. The craziness of Christmas shopping in town; the children, who would come on Boxing Day.  
In the middle of it all, Frankie's mum all of a sudden said: "Franks, are you sure you don't need a doctor? Your eye seems to look worse."  
"It does hurt quite a bit," Frankie admitted. "But maybe that cream will help." Her mother nodded and stood up.  
When she came back, she had a special soothing cream that promised to reduce swelling and pain. Frankie gave the tube to Henry. Carefully he applied it to her eyelid and also on her cheek. Then he asked: "Where does it hurt the most on your arms?"  
She kept her eyes closed and pointed at her right arm. He carefully rolled up her sleeve. A few gasps were heard as the others saw the marks and bruises. When he had applied the cream, he rolled the sleeve down. "Thanks," she whispered.  
"Franks, I'm sorry I have to ask, but can I see your arms again?" Will said in a very strange tone.

Frankie looked up surprised. Then she took off the jumper she had been wearing. More gasps were heard.  
"Franks, I believe the police need to see this!" Will said. "If not, those scoundrels might get away with just attempted robbery and attempted violation. Seeing this they will have physical abuse added to the list, which hopefully would give them a bigger sentence.  
I know you'll probably want to forget about it as soon as possible, but what if those guys come free easily and do this to other people?"  
Henry could see it dawned on Frankie and he himself was glad Will had brought this up as he hadn't thought of that.  
Frankie let Will take photos of her face and her arms.  
"Is there more?" Will asked. He did look a bit uncomfortable. Frankie shook her head and Will breathed a sigh of relief.  
Then he said: "If any of this is or feels worse tomorrow, then we're gonna go to see a doctor. I will pass this information on to the police."

They all nodded.  
The others brought the conversation to a different topic as Frankie got very uneasy.  
But soon she said she wanted to go to bed.  
Henry went with her to her room, helped her to get ready and then tucked her in. After all the violence she had experienced, she needed care and kindness to replace it.  
She was too tired to talk much, but they prayed together and then Henry promised her to be back soon. After another kiss, she closed her eyes and soon was asleep. Henry quietly exited the room.  
Back in the living room everyone looked at him.  
"She's asleep," he simply said. Then he sat down and sighed deeply.  
"Thanks for what you've done for Frankie!" Sue said.

Henry shrugged. Did she think he wouldn't have done it for some reason? He realised he hardly knew her and didn't know how much Frankie had told her about their relationship.  
Then he said: "Your daughter is the most important person in my life," as an explanation.  
"And you in hers no doubt," observed John with a little smile.  
Henry pulled up his brow a bit. How did he know that?  
"You're the only person she lets near her at the moment."  
Henry nodded. He hadn't thought of it, but it was true. He was glad she trusted him and he could be there for her.

He soon got up again, in search for his bag. He found it near the front door. Somehow it had come here, although he couldn't remember it. When he opened it to get his toothbrush, he found the Christmas presents he had brought with him. He went back to the living room where only Will and Suzy were left. He could hear John and Sue in the kitchen, washing up. Henry put his presents under the tree with the other ones that were there. Will gave him a little smile, before he turned his attention back to Suzy.  
Henry wished them goodnight and went to the bathroom. When he entered Frankie's bedroom he could see she was fast asleep. Carefully he got next to her under the duvet. She started to move restlessly. "It's me," he whispered. She calmed down again.

He slept uneasy, a combination of the bed being quite narrow and the fear of falling out of it, and the thoughts about everything that had happened. He also sensed Frankie's restlessness.  
He woke up because of a shout. "Get off me!" Frankie sounded scared. She almost hit him.  
"Frankie, wake up!" he said. He turned on the bedside lamp. She opened her eyes bewildered and then saw him. A shudder went through her.  
"Sorry, did I hit you?"  
"No, you didn't. Don't worry. It was a nightmare wasn't it?"  
She nodded. A small smile appeared. "It seems we have switched roles now."  
"May I?" he asked and when she nodded, he took her in his arms. He tried to avoid the worst bruises. She relaxed again.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I was reliving the scene from earlier on. You know, there was… another reason why I was so scared they would do something to you. I was afraid that I wouldn't have a chance to apologise to you about last week. If anything had gone wrong…" her voice faltered.

"Love, there's nothing to be sorry for! If anything, I need to say sorry to you! I am sorry that I projected my frustration on you! I was annoyed at my uncle trying to push me back into working full time. And I'm sorry for the awful words I have said back in June. You don't have to apologise."

"I do, though," she said. He knew from the tone of her voice that he shouldn't contradict her. "For I was tired and frustrated because of things at work. And for the fact I hadn't been able to see you as I wanted and when we were together too many other things came in the way. I missed uninterrupted conversations with you. I missed undivided attention. We both have been too busy the past weeks. And all of this made me annoyed and I lashed it out on you. And also I've no idea why I wanted to see that video. You have talked about what you said back then and about your intentions in the beginning. I've seen you changed, you have said sorry and I have forgiven you for it. I don't know why I was so angry about it when I eventually did see it. It… hurt. You did not break my heart. And you know it's yours! But to hear you speak about it so carelessly. Making a hole in my heart, whatever that means. It just hurt.  
But, as I said, I know you're sorry and I know how you've changed. And I trust you, completely. So I'm sorry that I still took it out on you." She looked in earnest at him.

He kissed her. "I guess we can be silly sometimes, can't we?!" he smiled. "But I accept your apologies and I forgive you."  
"And I forgive you!" she kissed him back.  
He knew with her not to dwell on saying sorry. If she said she'd forgiven him, that meant just that and they didn't need to keep talking about it. He actually felt the same the other way around. He smiled. Only this week he had found something in the bible about forgiveness or so.  
"There's this psalm I read the other day," he said. It said something like: 'As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sins from us,' something like that. And what I read with it, was that it means that when God forgives, He just never thinks of that sin anymore. He forgets it or so."  
"That's pretty amazing," was Frankie's reply. "I guess we need to keep talking and not let anything negative build up, but deal with something as soon as it arises."

"You're right," he said, "I'll try my best for you! For I love you, more than I can express!"  
Her face lit up as he hadn't seen her doing for a while now. "And I love you!" Their lips found each other and for a while nothing else mattered.


	20. Chapter 58-60

**Chapter 58**

When Henry woke up, his arm was feeling a bit numb. Carefully he tried to remove it from under Frankie's back. She winced and then opened her eyes.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you!" he said.  
She smiled, before her face became clouded over.  
"I thought it had been a bad dream." She lifted her arms. "Ouch, my shoulders really hurt."  
Then she let him free his arm.

"So, it's Christmas," she said. "The first one with you." She looked him in the eyes.  
"The first of many, I hope," he answered.  
"I'm not sure if I can enjoy this one though," she sighed deeply and looked at her arms. "Those bastards have ruined it."  
"Frankie, don't let them do this to you! To us! Yesterday was awful and it needs time to get over it. But don't let them ruin your Christmas, or the rest of your life! They're not worth that attention."  
She sat up, a bit stiffly. "You are right! It will hurt and I will have moments in which I won't be able to handle the memories very well. But I won't let them get to me! I do want to have an amazing day, as I was looking forward to all week!"

He sat up behind her and started to massage her shoulders and back. "You have to tell me first how Christmas looks like in the Price family!" he smiled.  
"I'm not so sure anymore," she answered. "As I haven't been here for the last few years during Christmas. Mainly because Will wasn't here anyway. When we were children I usually did enjoy it. My mum was usually always working, but with Christmas she would be home and she would make a yummy breakfast. After that we would open our presents and play with them. We would have a sandwich for lunch. If the weather was nice we would walk along the beach in the afternoon and then have fish and chips. Then we would play games until bedtime." She smiled at the memories.

"What about you?" she asked, leaning back in his arms.  
Henry sighed.  
"Well, the last few years I think I usually was drunk or had a hangover during Christmas Day. My aunt and uncle always organise a big party on Christmas Eve, for friends and business relations. The next day I would just sleep and maybe watch a film. Not much. I'm not really into all those holidays anyway.  
When I was a kid, when mum was still alive I mean, she would take us to a special service for children in the church. And she cooked a nice dinner. Pudding would be something that she'd make together with us on the day before. And we'd play with our gifts as well."  
"I wonder what traditions we will start," Frankie sounded a bit dreamily. Henry smiled. "We can extract what we like from our past and add our own things I guess." He kissed her softly. "Happy Christmas my love!" he whispered against her lips. "Happy Christmas Henry!"

When they appeared in the kitchen all dressed up, they were greeted by the other three, who looked a bit unsure. "How are you doing Frankie?" was her mum's first question.  
"I… am getting there," was her answer. "But I won't let _them_ ruin my Christmas. So, Happy Christmas mum!" she carefully embraced her mum and placed a kiss on her cheek. Then she went to Will and to John and did the same. Henry smiled at her. "Happy Christmas to you all," he said.  
"I hope you're hungry," Sue said. "We've made a nice breakfast." It did look delicious. There were croissants and pancakes and bacon and eggs.  
Soon they were all sitting at the kitchen table and eating.  
"How did you sleep Franks?" asked Will.  
"Apart from one nightmare, I slept fine actually." Was her answer.  
"And how are your arms today?"  
"They are sore. But I don't think they're worse. Later on I might put that cream on again. How's my eye mum?"  
"It does look a bit better, dear," was the answer. "That cream always works miracles," Sue explained to Henry. "I've always got it in the house ever since Will and Franks decided to play out a boxing game, when they were children. They came home full of bumps and bruises and crying. But do you know what they were crying about?" she laughed. Will and Frankie started to laugh as well.  
"I said you had won and you said I had won." Will teased.  
"Yeah, you never let me lose a game. Do you know how bad that is for my ego?" replied Frankie with a smirk.  
"But how can I let my little sister lose?!"  
Sue laughed. "I've got the most extraordinary children. Whereas other children would fight because they want to be first or the best etc. these two always want the other to win and to get the best."  
Frankie and Will laughed at each other. "That's because you're the best," they said in unison. This caused everyone to laugh.  
Henry smiled. He had already seen early on in their acquaintance how strong their sibling bond was.  
And he was glad of it.

When they nearly finished their breakfast, Frankie said: "Henry, what time do we need to leave? What time does it start?"  
"I think it said half past ten. I'll check in a minute."  
"Where are you going?" Will asked curiously.  
"We saw there's this special service in the Cathedral and we wanted to see what it's like." Was Frankie's reply.  
"I didn't know you were into religion," was Sue's remark. "But I guess it's not a bad thing."  
Frankie explained: "Henry's mum used to take them when they were little." She squeezed his hand.  
"Yes, I've got good memories of it. I want to check out how it is now."  
"Sounds nice," John said.  
"Maybe we could all go together?" said Frankie.  
At first the others looked a bit uneasy but then Sue said: "Yeah, why not. We've got the whole day to ourselves, so we're not bound to make a big lunch or so."  
Then Will asked: "But when are we going to do presents then?"  
Frankie laughed at him. "You just sound like a little child now. I hope you didn't peek during the night to find out what your presents were?"  
Will smirked. "Maybe I did. But what about you? Did you not sneak into the living room?"  
Henry laughed. "Even if she wanted to, she couldn't." He winked at her.  
She coloured slightly but then said. "So that's why? Well then it's your own fault if your arm was numb when you woke up." Her eyes twinkled.  
Henry was inwardly glad to see her being her old self. He pretended to be offended though. "Well, tonight I'll best sleep on the sofa then."  
The others laughed at their teasing.  
"Now, stop fighting you two. If you want to get to church," John said good-natured.

They all got up, because they needed to leave soon. The dishes were stacked in the sink and after ten minutes they were almost ready to leave the house.  
Then Frankie said: "Mum can I borrow a coat? Mine is in the wash I think." she looked at Henry, who nodded. "Yeah I put it in with the rest of your clothes."  
"Thanks love!" she said with a grateful smile.

* * *

It was cloudy but dry when they went on their way.  
"Is it far?" Henry asked.  
"No, only around the corner. It's actually near where we met in September. You know, at the seaside by that church ruin?!"  
"Ah yes I remember."

Frankie felt almost giddy. It was such a strange thing. They were actually going to a church service. And with the whole family too! How weird was that!  
Will was telling Henry about his course. Frankie just listened. At this moment she was happy. Her hand in Henry's and Will on her other side. The two people she loved most in the world. She was grateful for the way they had rescued her the day before. It hurt to think back at it and she shivered involuntarily. But she was glad at how Will had taken the things in his hands; his communication with the police and the way he had dealt with that dreadful Tweet.

And Henry, who had, quite literally, caught her and had been at her side every moment since. She was amazed at how he knew what to do, instinctively. His loving touches had calmed her down and cleansed her in a way. How it was possible she didn't know, but he had been able to erase the memories of _their_ touches. She had seen all his emotions in his eyes, when he thought she wasn't looking. She had seen how he had suppressed his anger and had totally focused on herself. She had experienced his unconditional and selfless love for her. It made her feel a bit ashamed at her behaviour last week. She still didn't understand why she had been angry or hurt because of that video. She had long known the truth about it and trusted him.

She felt a little nudge and looked up at a loving smile and a gesture towards their hands. She laughed. Again she was playing with his fingers. She brought them up to her lips and kissed them.  
Will coughed. "Back in the room," he said dryly.

Frankie looked ahead again and suddenly stopped. She had forgotten they would have to go through _that_ road to get to the church. She swallowed and somehow her body started to shake again. Henry carefully pulled her closer. Will looked at her.  
"You know we can take a different route!" he said.  
Frankie let herself be enveloped in Henry's embrace until she felt herself calm down a bit. She heard Will explain to her mum and John that this is where it had happened yesterday.  
Then she thought about what they had been talking about this morning. Her decision to not let those scoundrels influence her life.  
"I will not let them get to me," she muttered.  
Only Henry seemed to have heard her. He looked at her with an encouraging smile. "We'll do it together ok?!" She nodded.  
She cleared her throat.  
"Let's continue." Will looked at her again. "You sure?"  
"Yes," she answered. "It's a bit like what they say if you've been in a car accident that you should get back driving as soon as possible." He understood.

So they continued. She felt horrible but kept her eyes on the ground before her feet. She hadn't noticed how tight she was holding onto Henry's hand, until he gasped. She looked at him and saw him trying to act as if he hadn't and if nothing was wrong.  
"Sorry Henry, I had forgotten your wound!" She loosened her grip. "Is it hurting a lot?" He grimaced. "It'll be better soon I'm sure."

They walked on and soon were through and then further towards the church. Frankie breathed a sigh of relief. She received a squeeze in her hand. She looked up at Henry. 'I'm proud of you,' she read in his eyes. She smiled.

**Chapter 59**

Frankie had been past this church so many times before, since it was on the road to her favourite part of town. But now they were entering it. The building itself didn't look very special.  
"I had expected it to be different," Henry said.  
Frankie nodded understanding. "It's different from Westminster or the Winchester Cathedral. But as far as I know it's an official cathedral."

They were welcomed in the hall and shown a place where they could sit all five next to each other. It was rather busy but they'd been in time. Soon there were no places left.  
Then the service started. There were songs, there was prayer. Frankie took it all in, as this was her first time ever. Henry looked happy. She could see he remembered things from when he was young. Halfway the children were sent out to their own programme. Then someone came up to speak. He first read a bit from the bible and then started to speak about it.

"For most people at Christmas you come to hear talking about this little baby in a manger, angels that sing and shepherds that leave their flock to find the baby. But, since most of you know that anyway, I won't be talking about it. The verse I've just read is the essence, the reason for Christmas. So that's what I want to talk about. Many of you may come here every week. Some of you maybe only come at Christmas. And for others it might the first time ever to be in a church. This message is for all of us. Why? Because we are part of that 'world'. For God so loved the 'world'! That He gave his one and only son. That's Christmas. So that whoever believes in him shall not perish. He saves us. But have eternal life. He gives us more than just this life. He gives us life forever."

He then started to explain the relationship between God and mankind and how sin came into the world. He told why the law existed. "You might say that it's boring to have to follow rules. But we'll look at the reason why we would follow rules. Obeying the ten commandments makes sense. If you love someone you don't want to hurt them." Frankie understood that completely. "Jesus summarised the law like this: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbour as yourself.' It makes sense, doesn't it?! If I love God, I want to worship only Him. I don't want to use His name in vain, for doing that would hurt Him. If I love my parents, I want to honour them. If I love my spouse, I would not want to cheat on them. If I love my neighbour, I would never want to steal from him or murder him or covet anything that's his. If I love someone, I don't want to lie at them. Well, this last one might be a bit difficult in this time of year. What do we tell our children about the existence of Father Christmas?" He waited until the laughter died down.

"Where am I going with this? I'm sure we all agree now why that law is good. The only problem is, that all of us fail to follow the rules all the time. We are fallible humans after all."

He explained how that caused the separation between God and man and that the only way to sort out this problem and to restore the relationship was through the death of Jesus. "I know I'm now going fast-forward to Easter, but after all, without Christmas there wouldn't be Easter. Through Jesus' death there is forgiveness for our sins. For every time we fail to do what's right. His resurrection is also essential. Before Adam and Eve messed up, they were supposed to live forever. But because of their sin, death entered the world. We all have to die eventually, but the resurrection of Jesus gives us hope. For He conquered not just sin, but also death. He came back to life. He defeated death. The bible says he was the first. Which means many will follow. As our verse says: Everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." He told how amazing eternal life with God would be. That this was the hope for so many people all over the world who died in all sorts of circumstances. That there's a future waiting. He explained then why Jesus would be coming back again.

Frankie almost felt like a sponge, taking it all in. A lot of things she had read in the book they got when they had first bought their bible. But having it explained like this, was very enlightening. She saw Henry's attention was also on what was said. The rest of her family looked intrigued, but also confused. She reminded herself that this was their first time. For she and Henry had some knowledge already from the past few months.

The man at the front went on: "I know I've been telling you a lot and it's not the standard fluffy Christmas story, but I do hope and pray nonetheless that you have been touched by it. If you've got any questions, please ask someone after the service. Now, many of you are Christians. You have a living relationship with God. Others don't have that relationship yet. If you would like to know God and want a change, this is for you: God loves you. The verse says, He loved the world. Insert your name there. He loves you! He sent His son especially for you. He doesn't want you to perish. He wants you to have eternal life, with Him! We've just seen that, to get right with God, we need his forgiveness. His death on the cross guarantees us that forgiveness if we ask Him.

If you want to, please repeat this prayer in your heart: Jesus, I know I've messed up, but I know you died on the cross to make it right again. I pray for forgiveness for my sins. I believe that you came back to life and want to give me that eternal life as well. Thank you for your love for me! I want to live for you and live with you. Help me to live the way you want to, for you know what's best for me. Amen."

Frankie felt weird. She was touched by what was said. And she prayed this prayer with all that was in her. She felt… joy. And peace. She couldn't help smiling. She saw the same smile on Henry's face.

"Now," said the voice at the front, "I'm a curious person. If you've prayed this prayer with me for the first time, or maybe again, would you like to stand up. So we can pray for you."  
Frankie would have felt embarrassed on any other moment, but right now she didn't hesitate and stood up. Her joy was complete when Henry also stood up. Several other people throughout the building also raised from their seats.  
The man at the front said: "Did you know the bible says there's party in heaven every time a person becomes a Christian? Imagine how big the party is today." People laughed.  
"God's our Father, so we're brothers and sisters. I want to welcome you to the family. Now I want to pray for you. And for everyone else. You may sit down again."

He then continued: "Father we are so thankful that so many people today chose to follow you. We pray that you will bless them and help them through life. We all know it's never easy, but you promised to be with us always. I pray for protection and for the right people around us to encourage and help us. And for wisdom to understand what the bible says. I pray for courage and endurance when we go through difficult times. We thank you that you came to this world, that you died for us and rose again to give us eternal life. We also pray for a lovely day today, whatever we're doing, that it will bring us joy. In Jesus name we pray! Amen."  
The man sat down and another song was sung.

Frankie squeezed Henry's hand and they both seemed to feel the same excitement.  
When the service was finished and they walked towards the doors, someone came towards them. "Welcome! Have you been here before?" the lady asked.  
They shook their head.  
"I grew up in Portsmouth and my family lives here," Frankie said, "but now we're visiting for the holidays."  
"Ah, and where do you live, may I ask?"  
Frankie smiled. "I live near Tunbridge Wells."  
"And I'm from London," Henry added.  
"I saw you stood up after the prayer?" she smiled.  
They both beamed and nodded. In the back of her head Frankie thought that at another time, she would have found it annoying that someone was so nosy. But not now. She didn't mind at all.  
"That is such good news! Did you know about God before?"

Henry answered: "My mum was a Christian and used to take me and my sister to church when I was a child. But since she died, I've never been back and didn't want to have anything to do with God. Only a few months ago I was reminded of what my mum had told me about God and we've been finding out a bit more about him since then."  
Frankie nodded. "I didn't have any knowledge or experience with religion whatsoever until Henry told me about his experiences and then we both had some remarkable ehh answers to prayer I guess."  
The woman smiled. "That is good to hear! By the way, my name is Jenny."  
"Henry." "Frankie."  
"Well, good to meet you Henry and Frankie! Is there anything you would like to know or is there anything you would like prayer for?"  
They looked at each other.  
"We were wondering. I guess it's good to go to church to learn more. But what church do we need to choose? There are so many different ones," Henry asked.  
Jenny smiled. "That is a good question. Unfortunately, I don't have a straight answer to that." Frankie looked puzzled.  
"What I mean is that it depends on what sort of person you are. Do you like a quiet environment, do you want lively music. Do you need a church, where they explain things very detailed or do you want a more simple one. You know you can ask God anything?" They both nodded. "So you can ask Him as well where to go. He knows what sort of teaching you need. What sort of people you want to meet. What sort of music fits with you."  
Henry nodded. "Thank you. That is good advice!"  
"It was nice talking to you," Frankie added. "Happy Christmas!"  
"Happy Christmas to you," Jenny answered. "And God bless you in your journey with Him!"

They went and found Will, John and her mum near the doors. The looked a bit uncomfortable, but they were chatting with someone.  
They were soon walking back home. Frankie and Henry talked about what they'd heard and about their decision. Will soon gave up on getting any attention and walked on the other side of his mum.

Back home Frankie's mum said: "Do you guys want a sandwich? Just like in the old days? We'll cook something tomorrow when the children are here."  
Will nodded vigorously. "Yes please, because that means we will get our presents sooner."  
His mum pretended to scold him. "William Price, if you continue like that, we'll have you get your presents tomorrow, with the other children." They all laughed when Will pouted.  
When they were eating, Henry suddenly said: "These sandwiches are good at any time, Frankie!" She laughed. "I agree. They're not just good for comfort food." She then had to explain what the deal was about the sandwiches. Will of course remembered what she'd said in her video.  
"Talking about videos," he said. "Do I recognise those earrings, Franks?"  
She smiled. "Yes you do. From my birthday."  
"Ah yes, the ones Mary gave to you."  
Frankie shook her head. "Not from Mary. From Henry." Will looked very confused.  
"Well, Mary gave them but Henry had bought them for me. He only didn't dare to give them."  
She received a poke in her side. "Do you really have to tell him that, love?" but his eyes laughed.

Then Frankie said: "I will show you how it went." She got out her laptop and found Mary's video on YouTube. Then she showed it to Will. This was one of the very few videos Mary had made, that Frankie actually liked. It was at least not painful to watch.  
"I like watching this one," she said to Henry. "For here I can see that you really had changed and not just were pretending something, as I had thought at the time."  
Henry smiled. "I'm glad to hear that! I know the rest of them are rather painful!"  
She nodded. "Except the one where we invented Architect Man."  
They both laughed. "Yeah that was nice!"  
"Architect man?" Will asked. "Yeah, I'll show you that later," Frankie said.  
When the video was finished, Frankie asked: "Henry have you ever seen the video from my birthday?" When he shook his head, she searched and found it. She watched him watching it. At the end he said: "Sorry that I brought you in such an uncomfortable situation."  
"It's ok," she smiled. "The main thing is that I am wearing them now, fully knowing the person who bought them for me." She kissed him.

**Chapter 60**

"Present time!" Will almost shouted.  
Henry laughed at him. He was just like a little kid sometimes.  
Frankie smirked. "Only on two occasions you will see him like this: whenever there are presents involved; so on his birthday or with Christmas. And when he's eating fish and chips. Or when he's thinking about fish and chips. Or when he's just ate fish and chips." She laughed at the face Will pulled.  
"Alright then, go ahead!" His mother said.

They had relocated to the living room. Will didn't need any more encouragement and grabbed one of the presents from underneath the tree. It had his own name on it, so he had to put it back. Frankie explained to Henry: "You pick a present and give it to the person whose name is on it. Then that person will pick the next one, etc."  
Will had found another one. It was a little one for his mum. When Sue opened it, she seemed delighted. "Frankie, that's yours isn't it? Thank you so much!" It was a beautiful brooch. Frankie smiled. "It's from us together."  
Henry remembered the Saturday they had gone into town to hunt for nice Christmas presents. She had said her mum loved glitzy things and this brooch certainly would be well received.  
He nodded when he also received thanks.

Then the next present was picked up.  
"It's yours Henry." Sue handed it over.  
"It looks like a DVD," he said.  
"I don't think it's a puppy," Frankie said and they laughed.  
He opened the wrapping paper and was truly surprised.  
"Wow Frankie. That's amazing!"  
"How do you know it's mine?" she asked, but her eyes twinkled.  
"What is it? A computer game?" asked John.  
"No," Henry said. "It's a computer programme. Software. Frankie and I want to turn my comic book into a little animation film. That is possible with this programme. Thank you love!" He kissed her.  
"That is such a nerdy gift!" laughed Will.  
Henry got up to get the next present. It was for John. Apparently he liked cooking, so his gift was an apron.  
The next one was for Frankie. A pair of socks. "Very original mum! Thanks." Then Will got a present and after that it was Frankie's turn again.

Henry smiled when he saw his envelope in her hands.  
She opened it and her face shone. "This is amazing! Thank you Henry!" He smiled and received her enthusiastic embrace.  
"What is it?" this time it was Will who asked.  
Frankie took the contents out of the envelope. "It's a ticket for a Shakespeare tour in London! I've always wanted to do that. We haven't had the time yet whenever I was in London."  
Henry nodded. "You name the date! It's a private tour, so we'll have our own guide. It also gives entry to the Globe."  
Will whistled. "Wow Franks, that's an amazing present! Now Henry, there really is no way back."  
Henry looked confused. "What are you talking about?"  
Will laughed. "With a present like this, Franks will never let you go anymore." Henry smiled. "It's a good thing then that I don't intend to leave anyway." He winked at Frankie.

The pile under the tree became smaller and smaller, until there were only the presents for the children left. And two little boxes. Sue got one of them and gave it to Frankie. Henry kept his eyes focused on her face to see how she would react. He wasn't disappointed. Her eyes went wide when she opened the little box. Then tears came into her eyes. Slowly she took the necklace out of its case. "It's beautiful!" she whispered. Their eyes locked and they exchanged their love for each other. For a moment it was just the two of them in the room.  
"Can I see?" asked Sue, breaking the spell. Frankie put it back in the case, for it was easier to see then. Henry had put a close-up photo with it, so Will and John studied the photo.  
"Do you want to explain?" the latter asked.  
Henry nodded.  
"The circle stands for eternity. The letters inside read 'Dream keeper'. It's our favourite poem. And I guess the heart and letters speak for themselves. It's our initials intertwined." He blushed a little bit.  
"Wow, where did you find that?" Will asked. "I assume it's bespoke?"  
"Yes, it is."  
"You designed it yourself, didn't you?" Frankie asked. He nodded.  
"I've had it set in resin, so it's strong. It may look fragile but it's hard-wearing. You can wear it always."  
He fastened it around her neck. "I love you," she whispered and kissed him.

"One more left," said Will. The other box was for Henry.  
He saw Frankie blush and smile when he opened it. He almost laughed.  
"Great minds!" he winked.  
She smiled.  
"It's beautiful my dear!" he said. It was also a necklace, with a heart as a hanger. This too was engraved with their letters.  
"It's not as original as yours," she said shyly.  
"I find it amazing!" He said. "Look how almost identical your heart is to mine! That makes it even greater! I will wear it with pride!"  
He let her help with putting it around his neck.

"It's almost spooky," was Will's comment. "Are you sure you didn't shop together?" They laughed.  
"Sorry Will to disappoint you, but I guess we really are spooky," Frankie answered.  
Will shook his head. "I've seen some of that. It just gets weirder."  
"What have you seen?" John was curious.  
"They seem to have this thing. It's"  
Henry interrupted him.  
"Can we talk about something else please?" he saw that Frankie felt a bit uncomfortable.  
But Sue didn't want to leave the subject just yet, it seemed. However, she looked quite serious as opposed to Will, who was in it for the joke.  
"What is it then, Franks? I'm just trying to understand. For I find it remarkable how both of you bought each other a necklace, unbeknown to each other and also very similar as well!"  
Frankie sighed.  
"I think what Will was talking about is that somehow we always seem to know if the other is in pain or in trouble or so. I'd call it intuition. But I can't explain it."  
"As I said: spooky," was Will's comment.

John stood up and started to gather the wrapping paper and boxes.  
"Does anyone want a drink?" he asked.  
They all went for a hot chocolate.  
Will said: "Suzy is coming over in half an hour. Do you want to go and do something together?"  
Henry saw Frankie shift a bit.  
He said: "I think we're going for a walk. But maybe we can say a time that we meet up afterwards?" Frankie looked relieved and Will nodded.  
"That sounds good to me."  
They settled for half past four and then Henry and Frankie got ready for their walk.

_A.N. These chapters were nice to write. As you probably guessed, I'm a Christian and through writing this I've come to care for these characters, so I wish they have what I've got, so that's the reason for the chapter in the church. I've never been inside the Cathedral let alone visit a church service there. But I've seen the building on the outside and drawn inspiration for the service from my own experiences._

_Do you like their Christmas presents? I thought it really romantic. :-) _


	21. Chapter 61-63

**Chapter 61**

Soon they were outside. It was still cloudy but it wasn't too cold. They made their way to the seaside, near the place where they had been in September.  
Frankie pointed out the places she remembered were best for crabbing in summer. And she showed where she and Will and his friends used to jump in the water to swim when they were teenagers.  
Henry's eyes got big.  
"Did you really do that? Was it not dangerous?"  
She shrugged. "I guess it was a bit. But Will and his friends always checked first if it was safe before they even let me near the water." She smiled at the memory. "We never told mum though. Of course she knew we were swimming. But the jumping was our best kept secret."  
He laughed. "Well, you know already the most dangerous thing I used to do. Climbing on roofs etc. Other than that I wasn't really adventurous."

"Talking about adventure," Frankie suddenly said. "The ship Will used to sail on, is actually in the harbour now! He's arranged permits for us to visit tomorrow. He thought you might like it. Mum and John went last week already. Now it's you, me and Suzy."  
"That sounds really nice!" Henry said. "I've seen that Will loves his job, but what it looks like is difficult to understand." He smiled.

Then he said: "You know I'm usually not that curious but I was wondering about Will and Suzy. Are they together?"  
"Very nosy," Frankie laughed. "But, as far as I know they're not together. I know from both of them that they like each other a lot. But I also know that, although he would like to enter into a relationship, in reality Will is almost married to his job. It's his life. Having a relationship would make it more difficult. And Suzy wouldn't like the uncertainty and the fact he would be gone for months on end. I know he is applying for a new commission for when he finishes his course. So yeah, theirs is kind of a difficult situation."  
"Wow, indeed difficult! I'm glad I'm not in that situation!"  
Frankie laughed. "Who says I'm not considering joining the Navy? Will has tried to persuade me for years now. He thinks I would be a good one to live on a ship for most of the year."  
"And, are you?" Henry asked.  
She shook her head vigorously. "I even get seasick on the ferry from here to Gosport sometimes! Imagine being on the ocean."  
"Well, I'm relieved to hear that!" he said with a wink. "What about planes?"  
"What about them?" she asked.  
"Do you get travel-sick in a plane?"  
She shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been in an aeroplane. I've never travelled abroad."  
Henry was a bit surprised, but then remembered that her life had always been a bit sheltered. Especially since she started to live at Mansfield Park. He smiled.  
"Well, we might be able to find out in this coming year." Frankie looked up.  
"What?"  
"You know I've been having some contact with my dad. He asked if we wanted to visit him and his family."  
"And what did you say?" she asked.  
"I said I would think about it. I haven't seen him in ten years or so."  
They walked on in silence for a while.  
Then Frankie said softly: "Do you think you've forgiven him for leaving you?"  
Henry thought about that. "I don't know. I certainly understand a bit more why he did it. If it was traumatic for me to lose my mum, I can't imagine how it must be for him to lose his wife.  
I shudder at the thought of losing you!"  
Frankie squeezed his hand. "Then don't think about it."  
"Anyway, I've ran away before. I can't blame him for doing the same. Maybe it has been for the best. But that doesn't mean it's easy."

"I know," Frankie said. "My dad left even before I was born. I don't think I've ever really missed him. He's never been part of my life anyway. But I do remember moments that I thought about how it would be to have him around. You know, on Father's day and other of such occasions. I know Will has had difficult moments because of it. Although he was very little, he says he does remember some things about my dad."  
"Do you know where he is now?" Henry asked.  
Frankie shook her head. "Nope. We don't even know if he's still alive. I guess his name is on my birth certificate. But the fact is that we have our mother's surname, not his. As far as I know my mum always cared for us. It was always the three of us together. My mum worked all the time to pay the bills. We had a whole range of babysitters when we were children. I think only when Will and I both had left home, that my mum started dating again. She and John seem happy together. I hope that that will stay that way!"  
Henry nodded. "He seems a nice guy!  
But, coming back to my dad. Would you want to go to Spain with me? He invited us both."  
Frankie hesitated. "Only if you want to go. Sure, a holiday is nice. But if it makes you uneasy… You decide. I must admit I'm a bit curious to meet more of your family. I haven't even met your uncle and aunt yet."  
Henry sighed. "I know, I'm sorry for that. I just feel a bit reluctant. I don't know why."

She smiled up at him. "I understand love. You've got a difficult past with them. But then, he was more than willing to help out with giving Will this opportunity. It can't be that bad." She winked. Then Henry laughed. "You're probably right. It is a fact that my aunt keeps asking about you. I think she's very curious about the woman who managed to steal the heart of her nephew." His eyes twinkled. "Maybe later on next week. You're still ok for being in London for New Year's Eve right?" She nodded. "Yes, I am looking forward to that! I've always watched the fireworks on TV and it must be spectacular to actually be there!"  
"You are right. It is quite special! I only hope it won't rain."

They had walked further than they had realised.  
Frankie said: "We really ought to turn around, otherwise we won't be in time to meet Will and Suzy."  
"How far can you walk here?" Henry asked.  
"Ah, it's quite a bit. All the way along the Esplanade, past the castle…"  
"There's a castle?" interrupted Henry.  
"Yeah, Southsea Castle. We just walked past it. Did you not notice? Anyway, it's quite nice. Next time we should properly visit it. Anyway, then the path goes through Southsea Green. The beach there is quite nice. Southsea by the way is also quite nice for shopping."  
Henry smiled. "Sorry I hadn't noticed. I guess I was too busy looking over the sea. Or looking at you." He winked. "But I can hear there's a lot to do around here! And I still haven't even been up the Spinnaker. I would love to see it up there."  
Frankie grimaced. "Well, people are a bit divided about the tower. You know, it was meant to be for Pompey but the people at Gosport got the nicest view of it. They should have built the thing the other way around. But the view up there is absolutely amazing! So yeah, we really should visit it sometime soon!"

They arrived at the pub at the same time as the other two.  
It was rather busy but they managed to find a nice spot to sit.  
"So, what do you guys want to drink?" Will asked. Frankie and Suzy went for hot chocolate. Henry wasn't sure what to choose.  
He said: "Since my, eh, incident I've gone off spirits and I don't really like beer. I think I'll have a hot chocolate as well."  
Will laughed. "Suit yourself. I'm having a Guinness. Anyone else wanting food?"  
Frankie warned him: "What about mum and John? Are they not making a meal?" Will shrugged.  
"Yeah of course, but that doesn't mean I can't have food." Frankie rolled her eyes and the others laughed.  
"You never change," she sighed dramatically.  
Will went to place their order.

"How are you today?" asked Suzy. Frankie replied: "I think I'm doing quite well! I must say I haven't thought as much about what happened as I thought I would. All in all, this day has been great so far!" she looked at Henry and they smiled at each other.  
"How's your day going then? Did you get any nice presents?" she asked Suzy.  
Suzy explained what she had been up to. Then she said: "I heard from Will that you got a fancy necklace as a gift. Can I see?" Frankie coloured but then undid it and showed it to Suzy. "Wow that looks amazing!" She looked up to Henry. "You made that yourself?"  
He laughed. "I didn't make it. Too fiddly for me. But I did draw the design, if that's what you mean."  
"I see. A man of many talents." She laughed at Frankie. Then she turned it around to read the word. "Dream keeper, right? Isn't that your poem?"  
Henry looked surprised. "How do you know?"  
Frankie nudged him. "Remember, love. She's watched all my videos."  
"Of course," he nodded.  
Will came back with a tray with drinks. "They're bringing my food in a minute."  
Frankie put her necklace back on.

"So, did Franks tell you about visiting the ship tomorrow?" Will asked. Henry nodded. "Yeah, sounds nice! Thanks for organising that!"  
Will laughed. "Maybe I can get you off your jealousy for my job then."  
Henry coloured. "Please don't remind me of that. Frankie has long since then convinced me that I'm good as I am and that she's not looking for a second Will. No offence." They all laughed.

Then Suzy said: "Will told me you all went to church this morning?" Frankie smiled.  
"Yes. We wanted to check it out. It was great, wasn't it?" she looked at Henry. He nodded. "Yes definitely. Something worth repeating."  
Will said: "It was kind of nice. But I didn't understand much of it, to be honest. Still, I think it's good to try out new things and I don't regret going. Especially since it was great to see how happy it made my sister." He looked fondly at her.  
Frankie had a far-away look in her eyes. "It's weird. It felt like I was finally… home, or so. I don't know how to explain it."

Henry understood. That's what he had felt too. It was not necessarily the location or the people around them. It was the message. It was the peace that came over him. He had experienced it before. But now it had sunk deeper somehow. He still felt it. He had known before that God loved him, for his mum had told him that. And Jesus Himself had told him. Yet now, it was like the truth had finally gotten to him. God, the Father, loved him!  
The knowledge of that made him glow.  
Finally, he noticed the others were looking at him.  
"Sorry did you… say something?" he stammered.  
"We just asked if you had enjoyed it," Suzy said. "But I can see you did."

They were disturbed by someone who brought Will's meal.  
Frankie rolled her eyes.  
"Henry, I've told you about Will's relationship with fish and chips, right?" He laughed. "Only a couple of times. Did you not once say that he'd caused the great potato famine of 2015?"  
Her eyes twinkled.  
"I believe they're doing a research on that right now."  
Will pretended to be offended. "Hey, don't mock me for that. I need to stock up. You know, when I'm back at sea I won't be able to have it as much." They noticed a little sigh from Suzy.  
"Do you know what your plans are yet?" Henry asked.  
"Yeah. This is not official yet. So don't talk about it yet. But I'm ninety percent sure to go back to sea by the end of January. My ship is at anchor here and will leave by then for another mission. I don't have any details yet as to where and what. But we'll be finding that out at the beginning of the year. This means that from next week on I'll be very busy to finish my course in time and to get ready. But I'm really looking forward to it! This course was great and I have learned so much! I am still very grateful for the opportunity. But I'm also itching to be back at sea."  
"You're still coming to London for New Year's eve right?" Henry asked.  
"Yeah, that doesn't change. I've got those two days off. But the rest of the week I'll be working."

Frankie and Suzy chatted about university. Will ate his fish and chips and Henry was happy to just observe Frankie. Sometimes he would comment. Frankie was explaining how her preparations went for her start in September. Suzy gave her some tips and advice.  
"I'm so glad we went to Winchester open day!" Frankie said. "I really love the atmosphere there. And it's also very convenient. The city is halfway between London and Portsmouth. So the ideal location."  
"Where are you going to live then? Or are you going to commute?" Suzy asked.  
Frankie coloured a bit and sent a side glance at him.  
"We're gonna look into that in the new year."  
Will's eyes shot up. "You never told me about that."  
Frankie blushed even more, but her reply was quick. "That's because there's nothing to tell yet."  
Henry squeezed her hand under the table. They had had some talks about where they would want to live together. At first it had been a bit scary, since he didn't want to repeat the scene that they had had earlier on, when he first had told her about his feelings for her.  
They now both knew what the other wanted. And knew now, as opposed to before, that they both wanted it. Time-wise they hadn't been together long yet. But he was sure that Frankie was the person he would love until he died. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. And he knew that was mutual.

He brought his attention back to the conversation. Will had nearly finished his plate.  
That guy sure had an appetite!  
After about half an hour they all got up to walk back home. It was dark by now.  
Henry noticed some uneasiness by Frankie. He put his arm around her shoulders and she looked up at him with a smile. 'Thank you' he read in her eyes. He could see Will was also keeping an eye on her and gave him a little smile.

They arrived home without any problems. They were welcomed with the smell of a roast dinner. "I thought you were cooking tomorrow?" Frankie said to her mum. "We made enough for today and tomorrow!" Sue said. "We've had such a relaxed afternoon and enough time so we thought we might as well cook now. Tomorrow with the children around it will be busy anyway. What time will you guys be going to visit the Kent then?"  
"Only in the afternoon," Will replied. "So we'll have the morning to wreck the house with the monsters." He laughed mischievously.  
"Good," his mother said. "By the time you have to leave I'll gladly kick you out then."

Their evening passed by pleasantly with nice food, good conversations and a game, which Will and Suzy won.  
Before they went to bed, Frankie checked her arms. The bruises had coloured into deep purple and yellow patches. The red marks had faded a bit. "I'm surprised no one made a comment on my eye," she said when she inspected it in the mirror.  
"People might have been too polite to talk about it." Henry said.  
"Maybe," she shrugged. "Do you think it will need some more cream?"  
He came closer and carefully examined it. She had closed her eyes. "Does it still hurt?" he asked.  
"Not really," was her reply. He let his finger brush over it. "It's still a little bit swollen. Maybe we should. I don't think it would do any harm."  
He stroked her arms. She shivered a bit.  
"Does any of this hurt?" he asked.  
She smiled. "You're doing it so gentle, it only tickles." He laughed. "Maybe that's a good sign.  
Over all, how are you feeling now?"  
She looked up at him. "I've had such a wonderful day. I hardly thought about yesterday! But thinking about it now does hurt." A shadow fell over her face.  
"But I've decided I will not dwell on it!"

When they lay in bed she asked: "What was your favourite moment of the day?"  
He knew immediately the answer: "Saying that prayer. Saying yes to God!"  
A big smile appeared on her face. "That's mine too! Nothing that ever happened in my life, compares to it I think. I've no idea what the rest of my life will look like, but I feel it doesn't matter. We talked about our dads earlier on. But somehow knowing now that God's our Father is all that matters. I don't know Him very well yet, but I somehow know that I trust Him."  
Henry smiled. "Exciting, isn't it? I feel so happy I want to shout if from the rooftops!" He grimaced. "Not literally, I guess." She laughed. "No let's not do that literally!"

She grabbed his hands and tangled their fingers.  
"God we're so excited about the idea that we can call you Father. It was so amazing to say yes to You! It's almost as if I have been waiting for that moment all my life. I just didn't realise it. Thank you Jesus for coming with Christmas. And that you went through all that pain when you died." She paused. "Does that mean You know what we feel when we are in pain?" Henry could see tears appear in her eyes. "You know what I was going through yesterday! You knew about my pain and my fears. You looked after me!" This last bit sounded surprised, amazed. She was just realising that. She shivered. "I do realise it could have gone so much worse!" she shook her head. "I'm not gonna think about that! But, thank you Jesus that you were there for me, with me! I believe it was you who brought Henry and Will there at exactly the right time! Amazing!"  
She was silent for a while, to let it sink in.

Henry said: "I agree with Frankie. I know mum used to say that You loved us, that you cared for us and that we could ask you anything. And only now I seem to realise what that really means! I want to ask for Your help as to what's next. I also pray that You will help us to find the right church. Or maybe we need a few. One in London and one in Tunbridge or so. Anyway, as the lady said this morning, You know what we need and what fits with us. So I trust You'll tell us." He paused and looked at Frankie who was staring at the ceiling. He swallowed.  
"God, I don't know how to say it really, but I'm so glad to have Frankie in my life. You know how much I love her!" She turned her face to watch him. "It was really difficult to see her hurt yesterday. And I felt so inadequate to help her. I ask for Your help and wisdom. You know I want the best for her! And I pray that You protect her when I can't. Amen." Frankie had tears in her eyes. "Oh Henry!" was all she managed to say. She put her hands around his face and kissed him. "I love you!"

**Chapter 62**

It was two o'clock the next afternoon when they closed the door of the house behind them. Henry let out a deep sigh and then looked apologetically at Frankie. "I'm sorry Frankie."  
She looked first surprised but then she laughed.  
"I know. They can be a handful can't they?" she winked. Henry breathed a sigh of relief. She knew what he had meant.  
"I'm surprised at myself," he said. "I usually don't find myself around kids – I think 'never' is more adequate - since I was a child myself. But I find I quite like having them around. But it is tiring for sure."  
"I'm sure it usually isn't that bad," Frankie assured him. "The fact that it's Christmas and that there's presents, and sweets, makes them ten times more hyper than usual, I guess!"  
"Especially seeing Will like that I think?"  
Frankie nodded. "Ah you've noticed that then. They're crazy about him, especially in uniform. I think they all want to be in the navy when they grow up. Although, Sammy might change her mind, since you showed her how to make a comic book."

He smiled. The little girl had been in awe at his drawing and later on he had seen her trying to copy it, tongue sticking out of her mouth because of the effort.  
"But I think you're Betsey's favourite," he said. She looked up at him. "What makes you think that?" she asked.  
"She told me about the bunny you had given her and she said she always sleeps with it. And I can see she loves it when you read her stories. In fact, I think they all do."  
"It certainly helps to calm them down," Frankie admitted.

Henry had enjoyed watching her with all four children sitting around her. The youngest one on her lap. She had been reading story after story. He had seen her imagination, for – instead of just reading the book – she had invented little extra's or adjusted the story where she saw fit. And the children had hung on her lips. He had noticed John and Sue's relief at that. It must be busy to have them around.

The meal he had found something else. 'A challenge' was a mild description. First to get all the children sit down. Then getting food on their plates, having to remember who does like what and trying to get them to at least eat some vegetables and not too much of the crackling. Pudding was different. They all loved it and they all wanted as much custard and whipped cream as possible. It had been amusing to see, when they tried to coax him or Will into giving them some more.

Now they were at home, playing with their new toys. And he and Frankie were following Will and Suzy on their way to the Dockyard. He recognised the area by now and observed Frankie when they walked through the road. She walked a little closer to him, but smiled.  
"It's going much better already," she said.

They went past the station into a cobblestone area. It was quite busy at the entrance, but they were going right past it all. Frankie explained what they were seeing. The Historic Dockyard was a popular tourist attraction all year round.  
It was strange seeing Will in a different setting. In his uniform he looked much more stern. He saluted other navy people they passed by. When they arrived at the ship, he showed their permits. They had to sign a form and were then admitted onto the ship.  
It was quite daunting, not because of the size, but because it was a war ship.  
Henry saw what Will had meant that would cure his jealousy. The living quarters were rather cramped. But Will didn't seem to mind much. He was used to it for quite a long time. He explained what they saw, what the different spaces were used for, he showed them what this ship was generally used for and introduced them to some of the people walking around. It was not very busy since most of the crew were on leave. Will let them peek into a cabin to see how claustrophobic it could be on board.  
Henry laughed.  
"Ok Will, you've convinced me not to be jealous! But I do see how this type of life is just for you!"  
Will laughed. "Well, thanks Crawford. I'm glad you see it that way."

They spent some time on deck and Henry asked Frankie teasingly: "Did seeing this convince you to join the navy?" She laughed. "Of course! I love cramped spaces and people close by all the time. I cope well with stress and pressure and not seeing you for months on end, does frighten me in no way whatsoever."  
Then she said: "It's weird isn't it? That this was like Will's house and soon will be again? I just can't imagine how it would be. Being in the middle of the ocean. I hope he gets along with his mates. Otherwise it would be difficult."  
Henry smiled. She continued: "He never really tells me what he's doing and I think, in a way, I'm glad about that. Knowing whether he's fighting or on a dangerous mission or so, I would be worrying all the time!"  
Henry embraced her. "Tell me when you're worrying about something, will you? Shared sorrow and all that." She nodded.

Twenty minutes later they were on their way back home. Will casually pointed out the other ships of the fleet that were in harbour at the moment. He explained they all had different functions and travelled to different parts of the world.  
"It's a whole different life, isn't it?" Suzy remarked. "Quite interesting."

* * *

When they came back, Frankie offered to take the children to the playground for half an hour before dark. They might need to get rid of some energy after being indoors for most of the day.

Henry found himself being fought over as to who could hold his hand. Frankie laughed at his confused face. "Guys, two of you now and the other two on the way back!" Henry saw that Richard secretly felt himself a bit too old to hold hands, but didn't want to miss the opportunity. So he found himself walking between little Betsey, who chatted all the time, and Richard on the other side, doing his best to look grown up and dignified. Henry had to inwardly laugh at the boy.  
Frankie walked ahead of them with the other two girls.  
The park was just across the road so soon he was pushing a swing and keeping an eye on the others.  
He found they were all quite brave on the climbing frame, until he remembered what he used to do when he was their age. He grimaced at the thought.  
Richard seemed to be trying to help them to keep his sisters in track. Henry almost recognised himself in the boy. He was clearly showing off that he was the eldest and a responsible boy. He could see Frankie was quite amused by it.  
In fact, they all wanted to show him their skills. It was adorable really, and he greatly enjoyed himself.

After half an hour it got too dark. "Come on guys, back home we go," Frankie called them. "One more push?" begged Betsey. "One more then," he said. Then she jumped off suddenly and somehow fell. She started to cry immediately. Frankie ran towards them. "Are you ok, little one?"  
"Nooo, my knee hurts," was the wailing response.  
"Come, sit up. Let me see," Frankie said and helped her sit up.  
Henry was a bit worried. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to prevent it. "It's just a little graze," Frankie said after a short inspection. She winked at him. "Come, let's go home. Then we put a plaster on it."  
Betsey was still crying, but got up. "I can't walk. It hurts!" she complained.  
"Are you not a big girl?" Frankie asked. "No-oo," was the answer.  
"What about I give you a piggyback?" Henry offered. He started to see the fun in it. Not that he liked the girl being in pain, but he did see she might be slightly exaggerating.  
The other two girls protested. "She's already walked with you on the way here and we haven't. It's not fair!"  
"You two can hold onto my arms. There's plenty of space." His eyes twinkled. Then he squatted down and with Frankie's help, Betsey climbed up his back. "Now, hold on tight onto my shoulders. No, not around my neck. Yes, that's it." He slowly got up, finding his balance and supporting her legs. Luckily she had stopped crying. "Now girls, each on a side. Richard, you're ok, aren't you?" The boy nodded. Then they started to make their way back.

Before entering the house, Frankie said: "Wait one second."  
She somehow managed to wriggle his phone out of his pocket and took a photo. She looked amused.  
"Now, let's get back in. Come on Betsey, you'll have to get off now, or you'll hit your head on the door."  
As soon as he had lowered her, she jumped off and skipped into the house. She already seemed to have forgotten the graze on her knee.

The children ahead of them, Frankie pulled him back and kissed him, still with a twinkle in her eyes.  
"What's so funny?" He asked.  
She laughed. "I was just thinking. You'd make a great father, you know."  
He didn't react straight away.  
"I guess," he then said. "But not four at the same time please!" He pulled a face.  
"A good thing they usually come one at the time then." She teased. She kissed him again until he was breathless.  
"You're not planning to make one right now, I hope?" he said in a mock tone. She laughed again. "Don't worry. All in good time, I guess. You might be a good father, but I'm not sure if I'll be a good mother." This last sounded a bit more serious. Did she really think that?

"Love. You would be a great mother! The way you care for these four. The way you treat other people. You are an amazing person! I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be a great and loving mum, one day." He smiled. She looked up at him and he could see how, despite their jest, he had touched upon her insecurity; and by the look in her eyes he saw that she eagerly took in the truth in his words. He kissed her tenderly.

Suddenly they were interrupted by Charlie, who came running in. "Are you not coming in y… Ah, they're kissing. Yuck!"  
They laughed at the face she pulled.  
"Can I see?" was Sammy's comment when she peeked around the door. "Ah, too late."  
Henry and Frankie looked at each other and burst out laughing.  
"The joy of children," said Frankie, when she wiped the tears from her face.  
Then they joined the others in the living room.  
Sue looked relieved. "Thank you for taking them out for a bit!" she said.  
Will looked amused. "I'm sure you had fun," he laughed. "I heard the girls were fighting for your hand, Crawford?" He looked amused at Henry. "It does seem nothing has changed really. Be careful that you don't make Frankie jealous."  
Henry laughed. "They may be fighting for my hand, but don't worry, my heart is quite safe." He winked at Frankie.

That evening they were both exhausted.  
"They don't stop, do they?" Henry said. Frankie yawned. "Not really. But you'll be happy to hear that John plans to take them to the Aquarium on Monday. So we'll have some rest."

The children had calmed down a bit after they had come back, but Henry didn't really have a quiet moment. Not that he minded it much. During the day he had rapidly become their favourite adult, which manifested itself in them all wanting to sit next to him at dinnertime. The girls then wanted him to read a story and Richard wanted to play a computer game with him. Instead of all that, John had installed them in front of the TV to watch a movie. This helped to settle them down, which was rather necessary for they would all have a sleepover in the living room.  
Sue didn't want to take Frankie's room away from her this time, especially because Henry was there as well.  
Luckily the kids found it all one big adventure to sleep near the Christmas tree. So after the film they all got in their make-shift beds on the floor and while John tried to get them quiet, the grown-ups retreated to the kitchen. Will had left to meet with some friends.  
The others had chatted for a while, but then decided to sleep early.

"Did you enjoy this day?" Frankie asked, when they were snuggled up in bed.  
He smiled. "Yes, definitely. It was… different. What with the children and all. But it was nice. Besides, being with you would make even the dullest day nice." He kissed her slowly.  
"I'm glad," she said. "I wasn't sure what you'd think about the monsters. But you seem a natural." She laughed again, when she saw his face.  
"Don't worry. I'm not ready yet for it either. I want to go to uni first and who knows what else."  
He nodded. "As you said earlier, all in good time!"  
They soon were asleep.

**Chapter 63**

The next days passed quickly. On Sunday they went to the cathedral again and felt themselves as welcome as on Christmas day. It was an exciting new journey, they thought.  
In the afternoon they took Sue, John and the children to the swimming pool. Frankie felt very self-conscious as her arms had all colours of the rainbow now. But she soon forgot about it. It was rather busy, but the children seemed to have a great time.  
Together they relaxed for a while in the bubble bath.  
Henry found it difficult to be so near to Frankie in this way, but he managed to stir away from certain thoughts. He thought that if he had learned one thing in the past few months with her, it was self-control.  
He was aware of what society seemed to expect. Even his own conduct in the past pointed into a certain direction.  
But he had not regretted their decision to wait. It was not easy and sometimes very tempting to give in to his desires, but he found he had become stronger and he knew that through it all, their relationship in every other aspect had become very strong – he hoped unbreakable.

More than once his thoughts and dreams had wandered. He really wanted to make their bond official. He actually wanted to marry her! He hadn't mentioned it to her, because he wasn't sure what she'd think of that. She was still a very independent person and he knew she was not giving up her plan to study. But he was sure they would work out a way.  
He had to laugh in himself a bit. Not a year ago he had been disgusted at the idea of marriage. Maybe it was because of all the bad examples he'd seen. Or because he couldn't imagine himself being ever serious enough to consider it. He remembered that he had told his sister - when talking about his plan to flirt with Frankie - that he wasn't planning to make her marry him. But so many things had changed since then.  
They'd said they would talk about options of living together in the new year. Maybe then it wasn't that big a step to go a little further and propose.

He hadn't realised his mind had been so absent, but he was relieved to notice that Frankie was also deep in thought.  
Despite all the busyness around them, it was still relaxing to be in the water.  
He took her hand to get her attention. She smiled at him. "Are you bored yet?" she asked.  
"Never!" was his answer. She laughed. "I've heard you say something different before."  
"That was before you," was his quick reply. "Since you happened, I don't think I've ever been bored again."  
"I didn't know I was that exciting," she teased.  
"Do you doubt my judgement, Franko?" he mocked. Then he pulled her up.  
"Fancy a swimming contest?"  
She laughed. "Maybe, but no doubt you will win."  
"You might be surprised, love."  
She sighed dramatically. "If it was Will, I would know he would let me win. I'm now torn between two options. Either you're gonna be honest and just win. Or you're gonna be the gentleman and let me win. I'm not sure which one I would prefer."  
His eyes got big. "Wow, that surely is a dilemma. I think you just quenched my desire for a contest. Maybe we should just swim then."  
She nodded. "Maybe today that will be for the best. Until I've had some more practice and then I will take you up on your challenge. Besides, my shoulders do still hurt a bit."  
They had only swum halfway the length of the pool when the rest of the family appeared.

Sue looked a bit tired and John didn't seem very amused. It turned out the children really wanted to go on the flume, but it was too busy and they didn't really have the patience to wait with the exciting four.  
"Why don't we all take one?" Henry suggested. "That ought to be less of a challenge, looking after just one." The others seemed to like the idea. Soon they were all lined up in the queue. As usual there was an argument as to who would go with whom. Richard hadn't been in his best behaviour so he had to stay with his father, to be kept in order. Charlie stayed with Sue and the two youngest with Henry and Frankie. As usual the girls were happily chatting away and excited about their adventure. Betsey had never been up before, so she was a bit scared, but grabbing Frankie's hand and receiving some reassuring words, the girl was ready for the adventure. The wait was rather long, but the children were amazingly patient.

As they were chatting, Sammy suddenly pointed to his necklace. "What's that? Is that a heart? Did you get that from your girlfriend?" she looked very curious, but also quite wise. He smiled at her. "Yes, exactly. She gave it to me, only a few days ago. Do you like it?" She nodded.  
Betsey had heard the conversation and pointed to Frankie. "She's got one too. Is that from your boyfriend?" Frankie laughed. Then she said: "You know who gave it? Henry did." The two girls looked up at him in awe. He laughed at them. "And you know why?" He asked.  
"Yeah, because you love her and you're gonna marry her," was Sammy's straight answer.  
Henry was amused at their frankness. Children didn't seem to hold back their ideas and opinions. He crossed eyes with Frankie and saw her amusement too. He winked.  
"Yes Sammy, I love her indeed."  
"So, when are you going to get married? Will Frankie have a white dress?"  
"And a princess crown," was the dreamy addition of Betsey, "and lots of glitters." Frankie smiled at their enthusiasm.  
"You'll have to take them shopping with you," Henry teased.  
"I'm not sure what the result of that would be," was her dry response. "I might look utterly ridiculous and you wouldn't recognise me."  
"But when?" Sammy was rather persistent. "Do we get to be there?"  
He saw Frankie taking a pose of expectation. He was sure it was mainly because she wanted to see how he would get himself out of this situation.  
He decided to just be honest.  
"I don't know yet," he said. The girl's expression was quizzical, but then her attention was taken by her elder sister who motioned that they should hurry. They had been so caught up in their conversation that they had forgotten to move along.  
Henry secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

The entrance to the flume was now in sight and after a few more minutes he saw Frankie and Betsey gliding through the tunnel, the screams of excitement of the little girl were still heard for a while. Then it was his and Sammy's turn. It was rather a fun activity, he thought, when they came down and splashed into the pool, the others waiting for them.

* * *

With a tired quartet they had made it to MacDonald's. Frankie felt tired herself and she could see the others were as well. Luckily it wasn't too busy, so after they had ordered they found themselves a table where the children sat down, whilst the two men waited to pick up their orders.

Frankie had been teasing Henry, but she was seriously impressed and surprised at how easy he was now with the children. Yesterday morning it had been a bit uncomfortable still, but he seemed to be used to them now. The children all respected him, maybe because they didn't know him very long yet; so he usually got his way when he asked something. She could see how her mum and John really appreciated his presence.  
The swimming pool had been quite an experience. Not in the least for herself, since she hardly ever went swimming. It had been a little bit daunting. A bit insecure being in bikini, her arms all exposed as well. She had seen some people look at the bruises. She was glad though, that they were healing quite quickly.

And of course it was busy, being a Sunday, and in the Christmas holidays too. But all in all it had been nice. Spending some time alone with Henry was invaluable. But she had found it interesting that they hadn't been talking that much. Her mind had wandered and she had seen his as well. She had been thinking at how it would be to be together always. After the holidays, when everything would be back to normal, they would only have Skype during the week and some weekends to look forward to. But then she realised Henry had said that he would be able to adapt his own schedule to hers, so maybe it wasn't so bad.  
She knew however that she had to work most weekends in January, since she had taken off quite a bit of time for this holiday. But she really looked forward to making plans for starting a life together. The only thing she was scared about was if it would work out with her starting Uni. Would it not mess up with that?

The conversation on the steps to the flume had been something else. She knew the curiosity of the girls. She didn't mind that really, but it was interesting how they had started talking about them getting married. Of course she had closely observed Henry through all of it and saw that he was amused. She had also noticed that he did not outright go against the idea. Maybe his mind was changing at the subject.  
She wasn't sure about her own thoughts about marrying. She didn't like to be in the centre of attention, so she wouldn't want a big wedding party anyway. There might be a way around it if Henry wanted it as well.  
At a later moment they would talk about it she was sure.

Now they had to survive their MacDonald's outing in one piece.

* * *

On Monday morning Frankie took Henry to the Spinnaker Tower for a visit. They spent a long time taking in the view all around. They talked about their dreams and where they would want to travel to.  
"My list gets longer by the week," Frankie laughed. "All the photos Julia and Yates send, make me quite jealous. They've seen some beautiful places to be sure!"  
Henry agreed. "Do you not get long holidays at uni?" he asked.  
She shrugged. "I don't exactly know yet."  
He sounded enthusiastic now: "We could travel places in your term breaks!"  
She only answered: "Let's first focus on a trip to Spain. Have you made your decision yet?"  
He sighed. "I guess. Maybe we should just do it. I just find I'm a bit scared of seeing him again."  
"How is his wife? Did you meet her?" He nodded. "Yeah, the last time I went there. She seems nice. The kids must be teenagers now. Weird to think I've got two half siblings. All my life it was just Mary and me. But there's actually two more."  
She smiled. She saw the subject was still a bit difficult to him.

So to change the subject she asked: "What time shall we leave tomorrow?"  
He had to switch for a moment. Then he said: "I don't know. What time does your shift start?"  
"Three o'clock. It means that we don't have to leave at a ridiculously early time."  
"Good!" was his reply. "That means a bit more time to spend together."

At that moment his phone rang.  
"How weird, a withheld number."  
He answered: "Hello this is Henry Crawford… "Ah yes, she's here… "Thank you.  
Frankie, someone from the police. That victim care or so?"  
He gave her his phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Frankie Price? My name is Jenny Matthews, from Victim Care. Officer Harris told me about the assault you suffered on the 24th. Is that correct?"  
"Yes, it is."  
"I wanted to know how you are doing and if we can do anything for you."

Frankie had to think for a moment. She understood this was a standard procedure, but it felt good that someone cared. The lady sounded very kind.  
"I think… I'm alright. I mean, the last few days I've had friends and family around and I've had a lovely time and lots of distraction. My boyfriend has been amazing in his help and care! And the bruises on my arms and eye are slowly healing."  
"Wait, a bruise on your eye?"  
Frankie was confused. "Yes."  
"Sorry to ask a personal question. But were you by any chance in the cathedral on Christmas day?"  
Now it dawned on Frankie. She had thought she recognised the voice.  
"Yes, I was. We talked to you, didn't we?"  
Jenny laughed a bit. "Small world. Yes. I did remember your black eye. I didn't want to mention it back then, since I didn't know you. But now the combination of that fact with your name, made the connection.  
Anyway, I am glad to hear you've had enough distraction the last few days. Have you had any nightmares? Or other emotional reactions?"  
"One nightmare that I can remember," Frankie answered. "And we've walked through the road where it happened a few times and it's getting better. But further, it still hurts to think about what happened, so I try to forget it."

She noticed how closely Henry was observing her and now he put his arms around her. She felt comforted a bit.

Jenny's voice came: "It will take time to get over it. However, I do advise you talk about what happened. If you forcefully try to forget about it, it might come back at a time you won't expect. It is important to deal in the right way with a trauma like this."  
Frankie grimaced. She had seen with Henry how important that was.  
She said: "Thanks for your advice. I believe you are right! I will try my best."  
"Do you want to talk about it now? Or would you rather talk with someone you know and trust?"  
"The last, if that's ok."  
"No problem. Now, is there anything I can do for you now?" Frankie answered in the negative.  
"Well, don't hesitate to contact us if there's anything, will you? I will give you the phone number you can use."  
Frankie motioned for Henry to get a pen out of her bag. Then she held out her hand for him to write on.  
"So, what's the number?" Jenny told it and Frankie repeated each number and Henry wrote it down.  
"Well Frankie, I wish you all the best! And, on a personal note, I will pray for you!"  
"Thank you Jenny! And thank you for your call!"  
Frankie gave the phone back to Henry. He took it and first copied the number from her hand in its memory.

She didn't know why, but she felt deflated after the phone call. She let out a shaky breath and then lowered herself on the floor, for she wasn't sure she could stay standing right now.  
Henry looked at her with worry in his eyes.  
"Are you ok?" he asked.  
"Yeah, no, I don't know; not really."  
He sat next to her and took her is his arms.  
Suddenly she was crying. Henry gently rocked her and stroked her hair.  
After a while she managed to say: "This is weird. I don't know why I'm so upset. I thought I was doing well! And it all comes back now!"  
"Do you want to talk?" Henry asked.  
She sighed. "I don't want to. But Jenny said I should. I need to deal with it in the right way."  
"What do you feel most upset about?" he asked.  
It was difficult to think straight. Her emotions were in a turmoil now.  
"I don't know. All of it?" She closed her eyes. Images of what happened came flooding back. She shook her head as if to try to get rid of them.

"I can hear their horrible words in my head. I just can't understand how people can be so cruel to other people. Why would someone do that?  
Now, I don't _feel_ their touches anymore. You magically or maybe miraculously, erased them. But I do still remember it. And it makes me shudder."  
Henry rubbed her back and her arms. She leaned into his touch and was quiet for a while. She tried to focus on his loving touches.  
"And I hate it what they did with my phone. I don't know why that upsets me so much; it's just an object. But I just can't touch the thing. At least not when those photos are still there." She stopped again.

"What I also don't understand…" she felt shaky but she had to say it. "Why did it take so long? They… could have… taken me there and then. But they didn't. I have been wondering why."  
She saw the pain on Henry's face.  
"I am glad they didn't. But I found that strange as well. I was thinking. Maybe they really were in it for the money. You said they kept saying to wait for me? I guess they really hoped I would pay them to let you go." He paused. "How they ever thought they could get away with it is beyond me." Then he said: "When I didn't know where you were, I was very worried, as you can imagine. I prayed that God would keep you safe. Maybe that's the answer."  
Frankie nodded. "I have realised that. I am sure He was there. It was still awful, but I think He prevented worse things to happen. Looking back, He must have strengthened me to keep fighting against them. And the fact that you and Will came at the right moment!" She felt herself calm down again.

Henry's phone rang.  
"It's Will," he said. "Hi Will. What's the news?"  
He listened for a while.  
"Ok, we'll find it then. See you at half five. Bye.  
That was Will. He said he had a phone call from the police. They would like us to come down today to talk about the progress in the case. And they want to see your phone. Will arranged for us to be there at half past five. He also said that your phone is in his bedroom, so we should take that with us, but he thinks it needs to be charged first. He will meet us at the police station."  
Frankie nodded. "Ok, that's good I guess." She started to get up.  
"Are you ok now?" Henry asked.  
"Yeah, better thanks." He looked relieved.

After a last look at the view – they had almost forgotten where they were – they went into the lift and then left the Spinnaker Tower.  
After a lunch at one of the restaurants in Gunwharf Quays, then walked back home and were just in time to say goodbye to the children, who were picked up by their mother.  
Frankie smiled when the two youngest gave Henry a picture they'd drawn for him. And all of them said they hoped to see them soon again.  
"I think you made a lasting impact on them," she said to him when the children were gone.  
He smiled, "It would seem so. I liked getting to know them!"  
He went to put the pictures in his own sketchbook to keep safe.

_A.N. About the ship Will is on: I searched online which ship of the British Royal Naval Fleet was in the Gulf in January '15 (since that's what Ed talks about with Mary and Henry in episode 15 Burning Ears. ) The only one I found was the HMS Kent. However there wasn't much detailed information after that date, so the rest I made up. Also in Tweets after the series were finished 'Will' told he would go back to sea by the end of January 2016._

_And for people who have never been to Portsmouth: The Historic Dockyard, as well as the Spinnaker Tower are well worth visiting! :-) _


	22. Chapter 64-66

**Chapter 64**

It was nearly midnight and Henry could see the excitement on Frankie's face about the fireworks that were soon set to start. He had seen it various times before, but it was nice to see it afresh through someone else's eyes. They all stood together – Ed and Mary, Will and Suzy, and he and Frankie. They had had a lovely time already at their house, after everyone had arrived during the afternoon. Will and Suzy had picked up Frankie from the Antigua. She had still been working in the morning. He himself had also been at the office, where it had been nice and quiet, since most people had taken days off.

Henry had to admit he was quite excited himself. In the past he would have been drunk most of the time on New Year's Eve. This year he was quite sober and not planning to change that. Also, he was spending it with the woman he loved and that made it feel extra special. He looked forward to the new year with her, to get to know her even better and hopefully the start of their life together.

He thought back about the past few days.  
Their appointment at the police office had been difficult for Frankie, but also gave some satisfaction. The three men had admitted to their crimes, especially because of the evidence. They didn't know yet what the duration of their sentence would be.  
Frankie's phone was 'cleaned' and slowly she had started to use it again.  
On Tuesday they had driven up to the Antigua and in the afternoon he had continued further up to London.  
It had been hard again to say goodbye. Luckily it had only been for two days.  
This afternoon, soon after they had arrived, Henry had taken Frankie for a short walk, longing to spend some time alone with her. They had talked of their past few days, nothing special, but they both had enjoyed it!

Ed and Mary had been shocked to hear about the assault. Henry was glad that Frankie felt well enough to stay in the room while Will told what had happened.  
Her bruises were slowly fading and she was able again to receive embraces from other people than just himself.  
It was only a week ago and Frankie had mentioned it, with pain in her eyes.  
Soon they had been talking about other things and Mary had admired Frankie's necklace.  
In the past he would have been proud at it, as showing off his skills. But it was Frankie who wanted to show it. Henry was just happy she loved it. And that was the main reason for him. It was a token of his love for her and a symbol of their relationship.

Now they were nearing the end of 2015. Frankie looked up at him, squeezing his hand in excitement.  
He laughed at her. "Having a good time?"  
She nodded. "Yeah, I feel like a little child, all excitement. I do enjoy the fireworks at bonfire night, but this is much more special."  
As a group that evening they had talked about what had been their best moments of the past year. It was interesting for all of them it was about new friendships and finding love. So much had happened in the year! A year ago he had never heard of Frankie. And now she was the most important person in his life! It also felt as if he knew her much longer than almost a year.  
He paid attention again to the surroundings as the countdown started. At zero he embraced Frankie and kissed her. "Happy New Year love. I hope it will be our best year yet and I look forward to spending it with you!"  
"Happy new year Henry. I wonder what will happen. A new year always feels like a clean slate. Anything can happen. And whatever it is, I am glad to spend it by your side."  
After a little more time in embrace, they looked up as the fireworks had begun. They wished the others a happy new year as well and then watched the show which was quite spectacular. Everything just looked so beautiful, with all the Christmas lights everywhere and the night sky lighting up with the fireworks.

When they finally made their way back home, Henry could see Frankie was very tired. She had done an early shift and she probably hadn't had any rest since then. So when they came home, instead of hanging around with the others, who took another drink and chatted in the living room, they went to bed. As was their custom, they talked and read some from the bible and then prayed together. It felt extra special, asking God for His blessings through the new year.  
On Sunday they would visit a church in Tunbridge Wells as they would spend the weekend there. They both were excited about it and were also a bit nervous about meeting new people and seeing how church worked.  
After a little more chatting, Henry noticed that Frankie answered less and less.  
"Sleep well, love," he said.  
"You too," was the reply, accompanied by a big yawn. Despite the noise still coming from the living room, they soon slept.

"My parents were wondering when you would come to visit, Franks!" Ed said the next day. He told about how he and Mary had spent Christmas at Mansfield with the rest of the family. Apparently Tom was recovered from his accident and had improved his life. His relationship with his dad had also much improved and finally he seemed to settle as to what he wanted to do in life. Ed told he had decided to do a proper photography course and continue with that. Sometimes he would work together with Rhea who set up her own business as event organiser. This suited her very well and Tom helped her with the publicity side of it all. Mary told that Rhea and Rory were still in the process of divorce as they both finally admitted they didn't work together. However, they had become friends and as such it seemed to work.  
Henry still felt some guilt in the part he had played in separating them.

"I would visit them, but I haven't got much time left, I'm afraid," was Frankie's reaction to Ed's question.  
"Either I'm working or I'm spending time with Henry."  
"But Henry can come too. Since you're in charge of the rotas, why can't you give yourself a few days off?" Was Ed's next question.  
"I'm sure my dad won't mind. My mum really asks about you, you know."  
Frankie smiled but also looked a bit guilty. "I'm really sorry that I haven't contacted them in a while. Although I see Mr Bertram regularly, all we talk about is work really. But I'll see what I can do and then we can fix a date. What do you think, Henry?"  
He smiled. "Sounds good. Let's see what works."

Will told he had the confirmation that he really would sail out with the Kent by the end of the month. There were a lot of mixed feelings about this news. Henry saw that Frankie was happy for him, because she had seen that he missed being at sea. But they would have to go back to videos maybe, to talk. And he also saw her worry for her brother.  
Suddenly his words came back from months ago. The day that he had been talking about his jealousy at Will. 'Will has seen the real world, he's been in real danger.' Why had that ever made him jealous? he now thought. For he knew how it made Frankie feel. The uncertainty whether Will was safe or not. Where he was. Would she see him back?  
Henry felt the urge to pray for Will's safety, not just for the guy himself but also for Frankie's peace of mind.

At the end of the afternoon Will and Suzy left for Portsmouth and Henry and Frankie for the Antigua.  
"Are you ok with the news?" Henry asked her, while in the car.  
She shrugged her shoulders. "I knew it was coming. And I think Will was starting to get restless. Also, I've been used to it before. Still, it has been so nice to have him around since August or so."  
"For how long has he been in the Navy now?" he asked.  
"About two-and-a-half years now I think. First he was on the Illustrious for about a year until she got decommissioned. And after that the Kent."  
"Where did he go on the Illustrious then?" Henry was getting quite curious about Will's naval history.  
"Ah, a few more symbolic things, like commemorations etc. She was winding down, so to say. But he did go for a few months to the Philippines. Disaster aid. His time on that ship was not so dangerous I guess. The Kent has been in the Gulf and has done some dangerous missions, I believe. Fighting pirates and terrorists, as far as I know.  
I hope he'll be ok on the next journey!" she sighed.  
Henry put his hand on her thigh. "We can pray for him," he said.  
She covered his hand with hers and entwined their fingers until he had to change gear.

* * *

If the month of January was an indication as to how the rest of the year would be, Henry looked forward to that year! Due to his new work schedule he saw Frankie more often and they both very much enjoyed that fact! They went for a few days to Portsmouth, so Frankie could spend some more time with Will and Henry could fulfil his promise of doing some free design work for the naval base, which he had promised to do when he helped to get Will into his course. Will had now finished his course and was preparing for the next mission with his ship.

For Henry these few days brought also his second meeting with the 'monsters' who almost floored him because of their enthusiasm the moment they saw him. He found he enjoyed the interaction and asked the children how they were doing and what they had been up to. Before he and Frankie left, they were again surprised with some nice drawings and a colouring picture of a princess – the latter being from Betsey with the particular instruction to Frankie that this had to be how her wedding dress should look like. Back in the car they laughed at the girls' forwardness.

"Can you imagine me, dressed as queen Elsa?" Frankie laughed. "I would look ridiculous."  
Henry laughed with her. "I would never say you'd look ridiculous, but I do agree it would not be your style."  
"You would never _say_ it?" she asked. "You would only think it then?" It sounded a bit teasing, but Henry knew her well enough and said with a serious tone: "It would never even remotely cross my mind. You are beautiful, no matter what clothes you wear!"  
A shy smile appeared on her face. "Thank you Henry." He knew she still could be terribly insecure about herself sometimes. He determined that he should tell her more often how beautiful she was. She was still learning how to accept compliments. He knew that when they first knew each other, she would never value his compliments, thinking that he was joking or just trying to flatter her. But of course that had changed now.  
However, he had noticed that since the assault she was even more sensitive to it and the event seemed to have added to her insecurity. She didn't often talk about it anymore, but he could see she had far from forgotten it. The bruises on her arms had healed; the ones on her soul might take a bit longer.

He looked at her briefly and put his hand on her thigh, before his attention went back to the road. As expected, she covered his hand with hers and squeezed it.  
Then she said in a light tone: "Well, I'll have to disappoint Betsey then. Queen Elsa is off the list. I wonder what she would come up with next."  
"If you were to dress up as someone, just for fun, who would you choose?" he asked her. She thought for a while. "Well, I would rather go for a superhero than a Disney princess or so, but I'm not really a save-the-world- kind of person. Do you think dressing up as the Black Widow would suit me?" Her smile was now mischievous. He laughed. "That would be just the thing, since you of course look very similar to Scarlett Johansson." She was full out laughing now. "I always thought there was some resemblance," she hiccuped.  
"What about you then? Would you dress up as Captain America?"  
He smiled. "I already got my own superhero. Besides, I'm sure I can't live up to the likes of Chris Evans anyway, so I won't even try."  
"Fair enough," she answered. "So, what were Architect Man's adventures at the naval base? You haven't told much about it yet."  
"That's because the monsters took up all my attention," he said. "but I think it's gonna be a nice little project. They want to change their foyer entrance in one of the buildings and you know that's my strong point."  
She laughed with him. "So far I've got the feel of the rest of the building for some inspiration and uniformity, their wishes and the measurements, so I should be able to draw something up."

When they arrived back at the Antigua, they didn't have much time for dinner.  
That evening would be the first time of a course that was held at the church they went to on the first Sunday of the new year and where they decided to continue going. The church was now offering a course for new believers that would be held weekly for eight weeks. Both had already tried as much as possible to adjust their schedule so they would be able to attend the evenings.  
They both had a good time, learned a lot and were able to ask questions they had. Back home they chatted a bit more about everything, before going to sleep. The next morning Henry had to leave early for London and Frankie would have a day-shift to do.

During the rest of January there was a weekend at Mansfield Park, which was nice, but a bit odd for Henry, since the last time he was there, was when he had that difficult night. Luckily it hadn't caused more of a relapse and right now he had only one more session with the psychiatrist scheduled for February.  
The Bertram family was happy to hear that news and the rest of the visit was quite pleasant. Mr Bertram commissioned Henry to make a picture from Pug for his wife's birthday and Henry was happy to oblige.

Then there was the end of the month, when they had to say goodbye to Will. It was a sad day and Frankie was quite affected by it.  
All of them went down to Portsmouth to see the ship leave the harbour, where she only would return about six months later.

In the week after, Frankie was sad and a bit withdrawn sometimes.  
"I have been very spoiled in the past half year," she said. "I almost forgot how it feels to see him go again." Henry just pulled her in his embrace and felt her sigh deep a few times.  
Henry decided she might need some distraction, so he told her that he'd popped into an estate agent in London for some information.  
Frankie seemed interested so he told her about what he had been told.  
Then she said: "Would it not be more convenient to look a bit closer to Winchester?"  
He nodded. "Yes, therefore I asked the agent to send options of houses they have for sale there." She smiled. "That is great! I love that place when we were there in September. Maybe we should go there soon to have a look around!"  
"I like that idea!" was his reply. "Are you working next Saturday?  
She shook her head. "As far as I know I'm off that day. Do you want to go then?"  
"If you like that!" They agreed and Henry asked: "Would you find it too early to maybe view some houses? Just to get orientated a bit."  
"As long as we're not stuck to anything yet," she answered.

For the next hour they were on Rightmove, looking through various different options, also finding out on a map what area of the city would be nice to live in.  
They had had some practical conversations about finances. Neither of them liked talking about it, but it was necessary. Frankie, although not as 'rich' as Henry, insisted on paying her part. Henry preferred buying a place. In the past he would never have bothered, enjoying the freedom of not having a mortgage to pay off, but now he found himself wanting to settle down a bit more.

That his desire to settle went a bit further than just buying a house, became clear on the next Saturday.

**Chapter 65**

They had driven down all the way this time, had walked around in the city centre, and viewed two houses. These houses were not much to their taste, but viewing them helped to realise what was involved in buying a house, and what to look for. After the last viewing they both felt a bit giddy, as if it finally sunk in that they were actually going to buy a house together. It was easy enough to search online and dream away by the pictures and descriptions, but this was real and they both found it exciting if only a little bit scary.

The weather was quite nice so after having lunch somewhere, they found the way again towards St Catherine's Hill. They had enjoyed that area the last time.  
Frankie was happily chatting away, but Henry felt a little nervous. He was a bit distracted and had some difficulty to focus on what she was saying. They were quiet when climbing up the hill. It was a bit muddy so they needed to pay attention to the walk, so as not to slip.  
When arrived at the top, Henry's nervousness reappeared and this time Frankie noticed it.  
"What's the matter, love?" she asked. "You seem… nervous?" She laughed a little bit.  
He suddenly let his breath slip. It was ridiculous to be nervous. But he couldn't deny he was.  
"I can't hide anything from you," his eyes glistened when he said it. "But you're right. I was going to ask something and just wasn't sure what the answer would be."  
Her eyes shone as if she totally knew what he meant. But instead she was going to tease him.  
"Why Henry, isn't that the purpose of asking questions? You're not supposed to know the answer. Why else would you ask a question in the first place? Rhetorical questions excluded of course."  
He chose to laugh with her.

Then he just decided to get on.  
"Frankie," he took her hand in his. "this whole business of getting a house together is because we don't want to be separate anymore. At least I believe I can't live without you anymore! I know officially we're only together for five months or so, but it feels so much longer. I was just wondering if we could take it a step further and marry. I'm not sure what you think about that. I know you wouldn't like a party or so, but we can leave that bit out and just do it simple or so…" he felt he was rambling a bit.  
He looked Frankie in the eyes and saw the humour in it, because of his rambling, but her love for him as well.  
He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.  
"Anyway. Frankie, I love you and I cannot imagine my life without you! Would you become my wife? Please?"

He hadn't realised he was holding his breath until he saw a slow smile spreading over her face.  
She leaned over to him and kissed him. "Yes, I would like that!" was her answer. "But I agree about the distinction between a wedding and a marriage. Yes, to the second, no to the first."  
He embraced her happily and kissed her. For at least ten minutes they weren't aware as to where they were, so focused on each other.

Henry couldn't help smiling so much. "I'm so glad you said yes! I wasn't sure what you thought about it. And you know I'm not really romantic, or eloquent for that matter."  
A little giggle escaped her. "You know, I thought the same the other way around! You have said before that you hated weddings. So I wasn't sure if you would think about it. But when the girls talked about it - you know, at the swimming pool – and you didn't react straight against it, I thought you might have changed your mind."  
"Ah yes, the girls. Well, firstly, I couldn't really disappoint them could I?" he winked at her.  
"But yes, I had been thinking about it for a while." After another round of kissing, he said: "So, we definitely don't want a party. Would you then just want to go somewhere, have two witnesses and then have the little ceremony?"  
She nodded slowly. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Just the two of us. But then we can't really tell anyone beforehand because they would want to be there. Maybe we could do some party afterwards? Without telling them that it's in celebration of our marriage."  
His eyes shone. "Yes, I like that idea. Maybe we could combine that party then with a housewarming party?"

It started to feel a bit chilly, so hand in hand they descended the hill and made their way back to town. While walking they obviously continued their conversation.  
"So I assume it's best if we first found a house? And we need to think about a date then." Frankie said.  
He nodded. "Yes. And then we got our trip to Spain as well. Could we not get married in Spain maybe? Maybe my dad can be a witness or so."

If before they already never ran out of things to talk about, now there was so much more to discuss. It was so exciting to be planning their future together!  
Yet, as much as the future held, they knew how to appreciate the present. So, that evening in the restaurant where they had a meal – Henry had booked something special; after all, it would be Valentine's day the following day – surprisingly few words were spoken about the future. Being in each other's company was sufficient and they fully enjoyed that fact.  
"Last year I was poorly, I remember," Frankie said. "I hated Valentine's day, because I was alone and everyone else was being annoyingly gooey. A year can bring a lot of difference!"

* * *

In the weeks following they were busy with work, house hunting and planning.

They had agreed on marrying in Spain so there was legal paperwork to be done, because of marrying abroad. After some discussion they had decided to confide in Frankie's mum and partner and asked if they and the children would come over for a week, so they could be present. Henry and Frankie didn't want to disappoint the children and they did like the idea of having them there. This meant that part of their own holiday would have to be in the school half term break in May, for the children to be able to attend.

In the beginning of April, they found their house. It was the size they wanted and in an area they approved of. After receiving the key there was now a lot more commuting going on, to decorate the house to their taste. They decided to do the bare minimum at the moment and continue after they came back from Spain.  
Their friends and family were surprised about the news of their house, but generally happy with them. Ed and Mary and Suzy came over for a few Saturdays to help painting and decorating and they had fun times.

Frankie had decided to hand in her notice at the Antigua just before they left for Spain, so she would officially finish at the beginning of June. It felt a bit strange; she had been employed by the Bertrams for nearly seven years now. The family expressed their sadness about her leaving, but since they were friends, they would still see them around.

Frankie and Henry found it difficult sometimes to keep it a secret that they would be married when coming back from Spain.  
They had urged Will to get leave if he could, at the beginning of August so he would be there for the combined housewarming – and birthday party for Frankie. Will was quite sure he would be able to be there. But just in case Frankie and Henry had decided that if it was absolutely necessary they would tell Will of their marriage, for that might be a weightier reason for his leave.

**Chapter 66**

Finally, the day came they would fly to Spain. Both of them were a bit nervous. The contact with Henry's father had been more frequent the past few months, but it was still a bit strange to see him back after ten years. Henry was glad that Frankie came along. She was curious to meet his family for the first time.  
Frankie was also nervous about flying for the first time, but was surprised it was not too bad. Besides, Henry was with her and that made her feel a bit more confident.  
Henry's father would come to the airport alone to pick them up.  
When they got their suitcases and walked to the exit, Henry grabbed Frankie's hand. Somehow he was very nervous now about seeing his father again.  
In the Arrivals hall Frankie noticed straight away who must be Henry's dad. He was a bit taller than Henry, but his hair was just as dark as Henry's but had some streaks of grey. She also noticed some of Mary's features in the man.  
The greeting was only a little awkward.  
"Hi Dad," Henry embraced his father.  
"Hi Son. It has been a while! You have grown! I've seen you on pictures, but in real life it's still a bit different. The last time I saw you, you were only sixteen."  
Henry smiled.  
"Dad, this is Frankie!" Frankie got an embrace from the man as well.  
"Nice to meet you, sir," she said.  
"Call me Robert, please!" he answered. "Now, let's get out of here."

They walked to the car and a little bit later they were on the road. The city was rather busy, but soon they found themselves on quieter roads. The family lived in the countryside.  
Both Henry and Frankie looked eagerly out of the windows. Henry hardly remembered anything from the last time he was here and of course Frankie had never seen anything but England, so the dusty roads, the hot sun, the strange plants, it was all new to her.  
Henry saw Frankie's excitement and squeezed her hand. His father asked how their trip had been and what the latest news was in the UK. They brought greetings over from Mary and Ed and told what they had been up to lately.  
Robert pointed to some interesting sights on the way and told a bit about his family.  
Elena was working today and the two teenagers were at school.

They arrived at the house, which looked more like a villa. It was white on the outside and spacious inside, with lots of plants and flowers. After putting their suitcases in their room and refreshing themselves a bit, they found themselves back in the open plan living area. It had big French doors which covered the whole of one wall. But they were closed now, to keep the heat of the day out. The garden was beautiful from what they could see and the view behind the walls of the garden was breath-taking. They looked forward to exploring the area.

But now they were sitting down with a cool drink and then Robert asked curiously:  
"So, did I understand it right? Are you getting married next week?"  
They both nodded, smiling.  
"I am very curious as to how you two met! I don't know if you're willing to tell?"  
Frankie found he looked genuine and couldn't see a reason why not. Henry still looked a bit uncomfortable, although the conversation had been pleasant all the way since they met his dad at the airport.  
She squeezed his hand and he gave her a small smile. Then they told their story together. They left out the too awkward bits, like his involvement with Rhea and her being in love with Ed.  
It was a bit difficult for Henry to talk about his mum. His dad had a sad look on his face, but was fairly calm.

When they were finished, he said:  
"I'm very sorry, Henry! I didn't know how much your mother's passing affected you even until now! I've felt guilty for many years that I left you two with Grant and that I fled. I couldn't think straight in that time. Losing my wife was as traumatic for me as it was for you to lose your mother. Seeing you and Mary at that time was just too much. Seeing your grief and pain and the fact that I didn't know what I could do to help you; I just felt very empty and my own grief was too much to bear.  
I hoped that my brother and your aunt would take care of you the best they could, and I'm sure they did. But I do know my brother can be a bit gruff and - listening to you- I think he didn't know at all what to do to help you grieve in the right way.  
I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you!"

Robert now had tears in his eyes. He stood up and walked towards Henry and embraced him.  
Frankie herself had tears in her eyes. The two men stood there for quite a while. She heard Henry sobbing. She knew he was doing so much better and the therapy had helped him, but he was still in the healing process. She hoped that this time with his father would be another step in the right direction.  
When they sat down again, Robert began to talk about Henry's mum. It was good to see them together talking and remembering things.

Frankie stood up quietly and left the room. Father and son needed to reconnect and she was going to give them that space.

* * *

Henry found it still hurt a bit when talking about his past. He was so glad that his dad was so understanding. Talking with him, made him feel at peace. He was finally able to close the chapter that was his past and really move forward. He would never forget all that had happened, but the sharp edges were smoothed off.

He told his dad everything about his lowest points – the ones from this past year as well as from when he was a child. Then they talked about his mum's faith and about his and Frankie's conversion, the answered prayers and what they had learned since. From the past he remembered his dad was never much involved in religion at all, but then his dad told about what Elena - being a devout catholic - had taught him. Over the years his dad had found his own peace and had managed to leave his own trauma behind.  
More memories of his childhood were shared and they both hadn't realised how much time had passed while talking.

Henry had seen Frankie leave with a little smile towards him. She had seemed to understand that he needed the time with his father. Later on he had seen her passing the door and walk through the garden. He didn't know where she was now, but when his father got up to get themselves something more to drink, the door opened and in came his stepmother and his two half siblings. The meeting was a bit awkward. The only time he had seen them before, was ten years ago and Ella and Juan had been little children.  
Elena was an energetic, friendly woman and, although in most things she was the opposite to what he remembered from his mum, he soon felt at ease with her, chatting with her as if they'd known each other for years. Henry saw his dad's initially strained smile ease off and knew that he had been a bit tense as to how they would get along.  
When Frankie came in, as always, her eyes sought him out first and after their own silent greeting and inquiry as to how the other was doing (how much you can communicate with your eyes!), his father introduced her to his family.  
Elena walked straight towards her and embraced her.  
"Welcome Frankie. It is so nice to meet you!" Frankie coloured.  
"Thank you Mrs Crawford."  
"Please call me Elena!"  
Ella and Juan were real teenagers and, after the first excitement of new guests they were soon off to their respective rooms while the adults talked. Later on Henry's father started to prepare a meal and Henry asked if he could help. His dad looked surprised, but his answer was: "Of course, no need to ask!"

He got another smile from Frankie. His heart felt light. Somehow it was as if he wanted to make up for all the time he had lived without his dad in his life. Frankie understood this and gladly gave him the space to do that.  
How was he so lucky – no, blessed – that she was with him, that she would become his wife next week? Somehow feeling a bit emotional, he felt his eyes get wet.  
When he looked up, his dad was smiling understandingly at him.

While they were preparing dinner - Henry cutting vegetables, his dad cooking them – Henry talked about Frankie. This time he told everything. How awful he had been, the way he had flirted with Rhea and Julia. Then how he had tried to do the same with Frankie, just for fun. But how he had fallen head over heels for her. He tried to describe his feelings for her.  
"I don't really know how to say it dad, but when I'm with her I just feel… complete or so. I had never thought it possible." He turned around to look at her and his heart skipped a beat. He loved her so much! She probably felt his gaze and looked up and smiled at him and their eyes locked for a moment.

"Careful, don't get your fingers cut," he was warned back into reality by his father. "Have you finished with the onion yet?"

_A.N. As you could see I've sped up a bit through chapters 64 and 65. Spain will take some chapters. Btw, I've never been to that country._


	23. Chapter 67-68

**Chapter 67**

After the meal it was dark outside. Henry and Frankie went outside and walked in the garden. The moon was bright and big in the sky. The temperature was pleasant and they leisurely strolled around, talking softly, as if not to disturb the quiet of the evening.  
Frankie sighed. "I can't wait for next week!" she sounded very happy.  
"Why is that, love?" he asked, teasingly. She slightly tugged his arm.  
"Well, let me see. My mum is coming over! I'm looking forward to that. And, I believe there was something else, but I can't quite remember what…" She laughed at his mock disappointed face.  
"Miss Price, how dare you tease your future husband."  
"Ah. Well, maybe I'll stop teasing once I'm his wife. Or maybe not." She suddenly stopped and turned towards him. "Wow, I do think I will need to get used to that term! It sounds a bit weird. So… grown-up or so." she laughed. "But I shall be proud to wear that title."  
He cupped her face with his hands and looked into her eyes. "And I shall be proud of being your husband!" Then he kissed her tenderly and they forgot the rest of the world and the time.

Suddenly Henry felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Frankie noticed it too. "Who's texting you?" He let go of her and grabbed his phone. "It's my dad. Why is he texting? Oh, look, it's a picture." They were surprised to see a photo of themselves; it seemed only made moments before when they were captured in their embrace. As one person they turned around towards the house but couldn't see anyone.  
'Sorry, couldn't resist' was the text with the photo, followed by a wink emoji. Frankie laughed. "Your dad certainly got sense of humour. But apart from me being on it, don't you think it's a good photo?"  
Henry admitted that. The light of the moon made them light up and, while there were no details visible, it was clear they were kissing. From a professional point of view, it was a high quality photo!  
Henry smiled a little. "Would you allow me to post this photo on our social media? Just to show our friends that we're enjoying our holiday here."  
He saw her colour. She was still very self-conscious, but he had seen her improve. For that reason, he dared to ask.  
She nodded. "Yes, I guess that shouldn't be too bad."  
He posted the photo with the text: 'Who knew Spain was so beautiful at night? Or maybe it's the company. #holiday #withmylove #happy'  
He grinned while he returned his phone to his pocket. "You just couldn't resist, could you?" was Frankie's whispered comment the next moment. She pulled his face closer and then teasingly stopped inches from his lips. "You still like to show off."  
"I only like to show you off, my dear," was his whispered reply.  
"Exactly," she answered with her lips brushing his and then she kissed him for a moment.  
"I do hope your dad was satisfied with just one picture though," she suddenly said. "The idea that he would be going around like a paparazzo." She laughed.  
"Shall we go inside?" Henry asked. They slowly walked back to the house.

The grin on Robert's face was evident when they came in.  
"I should ask you money, Henry, for posting my picture without my permission."  
Henry matched his tone. "Well, that means we're even, dad. Since you took said picture without our permission." They all laughed.  
When waiting for a drink, he checked his phone again and had several reactions on his post. He showed Frankie.  
"Look love, typically Will."  
Will had written: 'ugh, Franks, what did I say about PDS? Nice pic though.'  
She smiled. "Nice to see that he's got some internet. Maybe we should make a video for him tomorrow, to post."  
She had taken her camera with her of course. They had decided to film parts of their holiday and of course also their wedding, so they could share that on the party in August.  
Tom's reaction: 'very good picture!' made Henry post a reply. 'credits go to my dad. Obvs I wasn't making this picture myself…'

The following days passed quickly. Henry and Frankie quickly formed a sort of routine, where Henry would go for a run early morning; after that they would have breakfast – Robert and Elena had said they should do what they liked and help themselves to food whenever wanted, especially when the others were out - and then walk around in the area.  
Henry's father had to work some hours in the morning before he could take the two to tour a bit further away. He showed them various beautiful and touristy bits in the area. There was always a lot to talk about and the three of them enjoyed this time! In the weekend they were accompanied by Elena and the two teenagers. They went away for a night to a place a bit further away with the six of them.

On Monday Robert and Elena drove Henry and Frankie in two cars to the airport to pick up Frankie's mum and the family.  
"I hope we're prepared enough for the monsters," Frankie said. "If I know them a little bit, they will be so ecstatic that they will be bouncing all over the place."

Sure enough, the first thing they could see through the windows was how John and Sue were trying to rein them in, so they wouldn't run out. None of the children had been in an aeroplane before so everything was one big adventure. When the family finally appeared through the doors – the adults with flustered faces – the two youngest ran straight towards Henry and Frankie for a big cuddle. The older two children followed a bit slower but with no less enthusiasm. Frankie laughed about their energy and she could see the laugh on Robert's face at the way his son was greeted by four little children. Frankie embraced her mum and John. "Good to see you here! How was the journey?"  
Frankie's mum put her hands in front of her eyes. John laughed.  
"Wrong question I guess?" Frankie said.  
"It was quite a challenge," John replied. "I think you can well imagine that they hardly slept last night and were up at about 5 o'clock when we only had to leave for the airport by half past eight. Luckily in the plane they were quite quiet, what with the take-off and landing and the stewardesses provided them with things to do. But the airports were quite a challenge. Anyway, we're here now."

They greeted Henry and then he introduced them to Robert and Elena.  
The children didn't let go of Frankie and Henry for one minute and fought as to who could sit next to whom in the car.  
"How long is the drive to the house?" Sue asked. "About an hour," was Robert's answer. Sue laughed. "I'll wager the children will all be asleep within ten minutes of the drive."  
In the end Elena took John, Richard, Betsey and Frankie in the car, while the others went with Robert.  
They met each other back at the house.  
Sure enough all children had slept for most of the journey, therefore, for the first half hour in the house, they were quite subdued.  
The house was shown to the newcomers and then they all sat down for a drink. Both sets of parents soon started to get to know each other better, while Henry and Frankie entertained the children.

The day went fast and everyone went to sleep early because of all the excitement.

* * *

There was not much rest in the next few days, so the adults kept the children rigidly to follow the one rule they established, which was 'siesta'. At home they would never have fallen for the idea of having to have an afternoon nap, but because it was named as a special Spanish habit, they took it without much question. Besides, there was the threat of not being allowed to join the grown-ups for dinner, which was much later in the evening than at home. So, every afternoon from 2 o'clock peace and quiet descended upon the house for at least an hour. The grown-ups themselves mainly used this time as well to get some rest.

On Wednesday afternoon Henry walked into his and Frankie's room to get his sketchbook, when he met with such a sweet sight that he stood still to take a photo. Frankie lay stretched upon the bed with Sammy and Betsey each on a side, all three fast asleep.  
Betsey had her thumb in her mouth and her other hand was held by Frankie. Sammy's dark brown hair was spread over his own pillow and all three looked so peaceful that Henry smiled.  
For a little while he stood there, enjoying the endearing view.  
Then he quietly left the room and, instead of starting to sketch his earlier idea, he took the photo on his phone and started to draw what he had seen.  
Without realising, his eyes were soft and the smile on his face was dreamy, while he sketched away. His dad walked in and, upon seeing this expression on Henry's face, approached him to look at his picture. "That looks lovely," he said. "Was that just now?"

Henry nodded. "I don't regret it that we asked them to come for the wedding. Ever since I've first met the children with Christmas, I've quite grown to like them. They're a fun lot, if only a little bit too lively sometimes."  
His dad laughed. "I would never have imagined you actually interact with children, but you seem a natural."  
"Neither would I," Henry replied. "A year ago I would have laughed at the idea. But I do think I've changed quite a lot since then."

Ten minutes later Frankie joined them. She still looked sleepy when she walked straight towards him, sat down next to him and kissed him.  
"Hello sleepy-head. How was your siesta?" he enquired, before he kissed her back.  
"Surprisingly good, actually!" was her reply. "Despite having two of the monsters with me. They're still asleep at the moment." Then she laughed. "You will be happy with that, because once awake I think they'll be more than a handful.  
The girls have been counting down how many sleeps until our wedding day and Betsey insisted that if she slept enough during the day, that would count as well and she might fully expect that the big day is this afternoon."  
Henry laughed. "I wouldn't object to that, I think. However, we might need to think of a strategy as to how to keep her disappointment at bay."  
Robert said: "I believe Elena has already anticipated this a bit and she and Sue will take the girls shopping later on. That will distract them."  
Frankie nodded. "A very clever idea." Then she turned towards Henry's sketchpad.

"What are you drawing today, love?"  
He tried to shield the picture from her, but she was too fast.  
Her eyes went big.  
"Have you been observing us?"  
"Guilty! It was too lovely a sight to not capture it. Dad agrees with me." He sent a conspiring glance at his father, who readily agreed.  
"I know you're going to uni first, but I won't be surprised if I would be a granddad soon." Robert had a mischievous smile now.  
Frankie actually coloured. Henry took her hand as a reassurance.  
"All in good time dad," he said. "Don't hold your breath."

Before they fell asleep on Thursday evening, Henry sighed. "The last night before we're married. A bit strange."  
Frankie smiled, while getting comfortable in his arms.  
"Had you rather had a stag do tonight?" she asked.  
"Definitely not," he answered. "The ones I've been to seemed to only consist of lots of drinking and women. And none of that is at all appealing to me anymore. People seem to think it necessary to celebrate bachelor-hood or wanting to warn the groom for all restrictions marriage brings.  
Well, I for one cannot wait to be bachelor-off and I think our marriage will be exciting. I can't think of a better way to spend my life. Being together with you is all that matters!"

She kissed him passionately. "I love you Henry and I'm looking forward to it as well!"  
Suddenly she coloured deeply. "What are you thinking about, love?" he asked.  
"I… was just thinking about… tomorrow night. How it will be…" she was quiet for a second.  
"Maybe I shouldn't yet. Our position right now could prove to be a bit dangerous for too much thinking."  
He laughed a little bit.  
"Another reason why I can't wait for tomorrow," he merely said.  
Somehow they managed to steer their talk and thoughts (mostly) away from their wedding night and were soon asleep.

**Chapter 68**

They were surprised with a lovely breakfast in bed, accompanied by some more nicely coloured pictures from the girls, who divulged they had been up already for hours because of too much excitement.  
After this, the day was rather long for the children, as they had chosen to have the little ceremony at the beginning of the evening, past the day's heat.

While John and Elena kept the children busy, Henry went out with his dad and Frankie with her mum. They went their separate ways and enjoyed the time with their respective parent.  
Frankie had become closer with her mum since Christmas and it was so nice to spend time together, talking and doing some shopping.  
Henry was still getting to know his father after such a long time of absence, but it felt great to re-connect and their time together was invaluable for both.  
"I can't wait to be together with Frankie for some sort of honeymoon," Henry said. "but I do find it a bit sad to leave you guys so soon."

His father laughed.  
"I'm quite sure you will hardly think of us at all when being together with your bride. But I'm glad that your last night in Spain will be with us here. And after that, son, consider our house as yours. You're always welcome whenever you like! Let this be your second home!" He was quiet for a moment and sighed wistfully.  
"I do hope your sister will decide as well to visit us some time soon! I do miss my little girl."  
Henry smiled.  
"We may be able to convince her yet. By the way, I hope you all will come to our party in August! It's for friends and the rest of the family. We've told them it will be a housewarming party, combined with celebrating Frankie's birthday. The surprise of the evening will be the news of our marriage." He laughed, thinking about the reactions. He looked forward to it, but was equally glad, that none of them were there today. He wouldn't have liked all the fuss and was happy in the way they had arranged it now.  
"So it would be nice if you could all come as well! Our house has enough space for you all to stay if you want to."  
"We'll definitely look into that!" his father said. "It has been too long since I've been in the UK and this is a good opportunity to change that."

After another siesta slowly people started to prepare for the wedding.  
Frankie's mum came to their room to help her dress. Well, there wasn't much to help, since Frankie had chosen a simple summer dress. But she let her mum help with her hair, to make it a little more special than usual. They had become so much closer in the past months so Frankie was glad her mum was here on her special day.  
When she said so, her mother replied:  
"I've been wondering why you wanted to marry. Nowadays it's not really necessary anymore." Frankie smiled, hearing her mother merely being curious.

"I know mum. But I guess we wanted more than just sharing a house or so. Henry told me he felt he wanted to make our bond official, so to say. And we want to share everything, not just in practice but as well legally. I can't explain it exactly, but I know we both feel it this way. And, no offence to you, but I can't wait to share also his surname." She laughed a little. "All I know is that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him!"

Sue embraced her briefly. "You're making me feel a bit jealous now, dear," was her soft reply.  
"Long ago, when I was together with your father, I hoped he would ask me to marry him. But I somehow knew he wouldn't. I think he was afraid of stability or so. This didn't change after Will was born and when I was pregnant with you, I think he just couldn't handle the situation anymore. So he left. I was hurt, but I knew we were too different. In a way it was good that you were born in that time. It helped me to focus on something else than my loss. And I loved looking after you as it was so different from when I had Will. As you know, I then had to work for our living, so I didn't have as much time with you as I wanted. I'm sorry about that! Both of you became so independent and especially when you went to live with the Bertrams I felt more disconnected with you. I felt guilty about it, but because I was always so busy I let it slip away."

"I'm sorry too, mum, I could have contacted you more. I could have visited you more. But maybe it felt just a bit easier to not think about it too much. Especially last year, so many other things were going on. But I'm glad for the contact we have now! And I am especially glad that you're here today!" Then, with a teasing smile she asked: "Have you got any advice for your daughter as to her future? That's what mothers always seem to do on wedding days in stories."

Her mother laughed. "Honestly I have no idea. You're further than I've ever been, relationship-wise - although you haven't got children yet. And with everything else, wedding nights are not anymore as they were in old days, since people usually sleep around without much inconvenience."

Here Frankie felt her cheeks burn. Her mother saw it.  
"What? Don't be so shy about it. Isn't it true? It's one of the reasons why marriage doesn't seem necessary anymore, since people wouldn't wait with sex anyway."  
Frankie was stunned into silence. It was not that it was a surprise. She knew how society worked and she had had various conversations with Henry about it. But maybe it was the shock that her own mother didn't think much of it either. But then, the woman had never married herself, so how would she know any better?

At last she managed: "Mum? Maybe I need to tell you something." She hesitated. Her mother turned to face her, her hair forgotten for a moment.  
They both sat down on the bed.  
Frankie cleared her throat, suddenly a bit nervous.

"This… wedding night _is_ important for us! We've never… We decided to wait." Her cheeks felt hot in embarrassment. It flicked briefly through her mind, how weird this was. A hundred years ago, a conversation like this would have gone the other way around.  
"What?" was her mum's disbelieving reaction. "Do you say you never had sex? But you've been sleeping together!"  
"Mum, please, calm down." Her mum was rather a bit too loud.

"It is true we have shared the bed a lot of times, but nothing more. I… told Henry I loved him when waking up next to him, yes. But most of the times, as was that first night, I was there for him, because of his nightmares. He felt calmer when I was nearby and I wouldn't have been able to leave him alone, when he felt this bad. I don't know if you remember what we told about our… intuition or so. Many a night in October and November last year, I woke up because I knew Henry was in distress. It didn't matter if I were at the Antigua and he was in London. I would call him or he would call me and he would confirm it.  
So yes, because of his nightmares and whenever we were staying somewhere else and people didn't think but assumed we'd share a room anyway, we would share a bed, but other than that we mainly slept separately."

"But, why?" was the next question.  
"Because we decided to wait! At first because we didn't think it right, since we had only gotten together so recently. And for some reason we stuck with it. I guess maybe we sort of knew subconsciously that we would end up married anyway and waiting for that seems a good thing.  
Since we started going to church I think I am more glad as to how we acted. I have learned how much better it is to grow in your relationship in all other areas, before, well, going too physical." Here she was blushing again.  
"Was it not difficult?" her mum asked.  
Frankie smiled. "Yes, sometimes it was. But learning self-control is not a bad thing."  
"And Henry?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well," her mum hesitated. "If I recall, he wasn't the most chaste person before you two got together."  
"Mum, he has changed! And if you were doubting, this waiting with sex is totally the decision we made together." She paused for a moment.

"May I tell you a story? We haven't shared this with anyone, so please keep it to yourself."  
Her mother nodded.  
"After… the assault, I felt horrible, as you know. I felt violated, even though – by today's standards – those brats didn't do much. But I felt dirty. I could still feel their hands on me and it was awful. You made a bath for me. Henry helped me undress and get into it. When he was getting clean clothes, I tried to scrub my arms to get rid of their touches. And I was so desperate because it didn't work. When Henry came back, he offered to wash me. Simply with a washcloth he washed my bruises. I never felt so cherished and loved as at that moment. The shock of what had happened was still there, but he managed to erase the memory of their touches. Not just on my face and my arms, but, well, here as well." She pointed to her chest. "I could see what was going on in his head, how angry he was at those guys, but… other things as well. Yet I could see he chose to concentrate completely on making me feel better.  
Last year I would have described him as one of the most selfish people I knew. But now, and especially that evening, he showed me his unconditional and selfless love for me. I am forever grateful for what he did for me then and my love for him is still growing."

She suddenly stopped, when her mum embraced her.  
"Thank you Frankie, for telling me this! Thank you for your confidence! I really admire both of you! And I am sure that yours will be a very happy marriage and tonight I guess will be divine." A little smile and a blush were now on her face. "Wow, my little girl has grown up. To be having a talk like this with my daughter, is a strange thing. But I'm thankful to be here with you!"  
Frankie smiled back.  
After this they resumed their make-up and before long Frankie was ready for her big moment. Sue left to get herself dressed and to help John with the children.

Frankie sat for a while on the bed, thinking about her conversation and daydreaming about the future.  
Then she decided to go out in the garden. It was not for another hour until they would leave for the little chapel.  
She was surprised to find Henry on their favourite spot in the garden, a bench under a tree.  
His eyes lit up when seeing her, as did hers. His clothes were not too formal, but he looked very handsome.  
"If I were superstitious I would have said it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," he laughed. "But as we're not doing that sort of stuff, I am glad to see you!" He encircled her with his arms.  
"You look ravishing Franko," he whispered, before kissing her.  
"As do you," she managed to say when pausing to breathe for a moment.

They sat down and for a while were quiet. Henry had put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. Suddenly she laughed a bit.  
Henry looked surprised. "What's so funny?" he asked.  
"I just had a very interesting conversation with my mum," she answered. His eyebrows went up.  
"I asked her jokingly for advice as mothers seem to always give their daughters, on their wedding day. And we ended up talking about sex. I hope you're ok with it, but I told her tonight will be our first time and she couldn't believe it at first. To make her understand… I… also told about what happened after the assault. You know, in the bathroom." This last, she said a bit more hesitatingly. He nodded when he remembered.

* * *

In fact, he thought about that evening regularly. It was always with mixed feelings, because of the pain it brought. The memories of what she had gone through, the anger that he still felt for what those guys had done to her.  
But he also remembered her complete trust in him, by letting him see all of herself, by letting him help her to feel better.  
He looked forward to tonight, seeing her like that again – obviously without the bruises and the pain.

He smiled when he looked at her. She was so beautiful!  
"In the category of clichés, I feel today must be the best day of my life," he said with a cheeky smile.  
"I agree that it's a cliché but I also agree to the sentiment," she replied. "Let me see, positively unequal? Would that do? Or, in true British fashion: Not too bad." They both laughed. "That won't do," he said. "Are we such a boring group of people, that a sentence like that is perfectly acceptable, even on a day like this?"

They laughed and spent some time coming up with better synonyms and sentences. They were so enjoying this little chat, that they were surprised when disturbed by Betsey who came running towards them.

"Frankie? Mamma Sue asks if you can come. We've got something for you."  
After a wink to Henry, Frankie stood up and let herself be guided by the little girl, who took her hand and pulled her towards the house.

* * *

Frankie was met with some giggling girls and Richard who tried not to giggle but looked very pleased. Mum and John smiled at her.  
"We've got something for you," said the former.  
"Yeah, you are to be a princess," was Betsey's addition.  
"Shh, you're spoiling the surprise!" Charlie said.  
But before they could start an argument, Sammy handed her a box.

They all looked at her to see her reaction when she opened it. In it she found something that looked like a cross between a headband and a tiara. It was silver and was studded with many crystals, that sparkled in the late afternoon sunlight.  
"Wow, it's beautiful! And am I to wear it?" The youngest girls now skipped around her.  
"Now you're a princess!" was Betsey's repeated comment.  
John laughed at her: "Franks, they insisted you wear a crown or so. As we knew you weren't going full on in bridal clothes, we thought we'd add something extra. I hope you like it!"  
Frankie did a round of hugs and kisses. "Thank you all, it's amazing! I love you all! Not just for the gift," she hastened to add. "You all are simply amazing!" She almost felt tears in her eyes.

Her mum helped to put it in her hair. "I took it already into account, when I was doing your hair earlier on," was the comment.  
"Very cheeky mum," Frankie laughed. "But now I won't show myself to Henry anymore. At least there will be something he hasn't seen yet." She blushed but smiled.  
"Ooh, did he see you already?" teased John. "That's not good."  
"We've decided we're not superstitious, so don't worry," Frankie answered with a laugh.

Soon the first car went to the location. Elena was going to drop off Henry, Ella, Juan and Richard. The last two had become fast friends over computer games in the last few days. Then she would come back to pick up the other children and John. Frankie would be the last one to leave, together with Robert and her mum.  
Frankie was a bit nervous and also a bit impatient. To make the waiting a bit more enjoyable she answered her mother's question as to how Henry had proposed.  
"Or did you propose? That would be something I could just see you do," Sue added.  
"No, it was Henry who asked the question." She smiled at the memory.  
"Was it romantic?" Now Frankie laughed out loud.  
"I can't imagine my son very romantic," Robert laughed with her. "But then, I might be wrong."  
"I guess it wasn't that romantic," Frankie had to admit. "Not with candles or roses or so.  
We were in Winchester and we had been viewing some houses, just to see how it worked or so. Then we went to St Catherine's Hill. We went there also on our first time. It's a nice area and the view is stunning! You should go there if you're in the area!

Anyway, we went there and climbed the hill. I had noticed Henry was a bit nervous so I asked what was the matter. And he said something about wanting to ask a question and not being sure what the answer would be. Then he just asked and I said yes. But we did go out for dinner in the evening. After all, it was the evening before Valentine's day. And since we're doing everything a bit unconventional, we wouldn't celebrate the day itself, but take the day before." She laughed at the slightly stunned faces.

Robert went to get the car.  
Frankie sent a text to Henry: 'My phone just reminded me of something happening today, but I can't remember what it was.'  
She got an answer straight away. 'Hmm I'm not sure what that could be. Well, as long as you're at the right place in the right time, I'm sure you'll find out.' With a wink-emoji.

* * *

Henry laughed out loud when he got Frankie's text. He had been a bit nervous. Luckily chatting with his half-siblings and Richard, helped to distract.  
Frankie always managed to make him laugh, even at the most serious moments.  
He sent another message: 'Btw, do you know what serious life-important topic we're discussing here at the moment?'  
'What is that?'  
'Minecraft!'  
An answer came in the form of two crying-from-laughing emoji's.

* * *

Frankie had to laugh out loud as well. Her mum asked what was so funny.  
"I'm texting with Henry. He tells me he's having a most interesting conversation over there with the children. About Minecraft!" Her mum laughed as well.  
"The joys of teenagers. Well, let's go and relieve him, shall we?"

They got in the car and drove to the little chapel.  
They were met outside with an official- looking John who would film everything. He had set up the camera to capture Frankie's arrival.  
She blushed but her smile did not leave her.  
She caught John's eyes.  
"You look lovely Franks!" he said with a smile.  
"Thank you John!" then she walked past the camera to give him a big hug. "Thank you for helping us out! It is very much appreciated!"  
He merely smiled.  
"Now get yourself inside. Your groom is waiting." He patted her on the shoulder.  
Robert had already walked in, to stand beside his son.

_Wedding time! ;-) I so loved writing that mother-daughter conversation._


	24. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69**

Frankie took the arm of her mother and together they walked in.  
She vaguely noticed the giggles of the girls and Elena shushing them. But her eyes fell on Henry and didn't leave his face for the rest of the time.

She had seen his expression of pure love already many times, but it never failed to make her giddy all over. She smiled at him.  
When she joined him at the front he grabbed her hand, bent over and whispered: "I didn't expect a princess! Where did you hide that pretty little thing on your head?"  
She giggled. "The girls got their way by having me wear a crown. The family bought it for me."  
"Well, it's lovely. And you are beautiful!" He kissed her briefly.

Someone clearing their throat brought them back to where they were.

The pastor looked amused when he got their attention. –This pastor was surely a God-sent! He was a Brit who had moved to Spain almost three years ago and previously had led the very church Henry and Frankie attended in Tunbridge Wells. Through friends in that church they had come in contact with him, and had met him the previous week to talk about this day. –

He started the little ceremony and did so with sense of humour.

Then came the moment Frankie would give her speech and say her vows. At first it had felt like a speech – she had written it down, as had Henry, she knew – but at this moment she decided to just say what she felt, leaving her note for what it was.

"Dear Henry," she looked deep into his eyes. "I'm so incredibly happy to stand here with you today. I wouldn't have believed it last year, but now I can say with all my heart, that you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you! I love it how you took care of me last September in everything happening. You know, in the situation with Ed, etc. You stood by me as a friend and didn't back away, which you easily could have done. And you were there for me after the assault! I just told my mum that, even though it was awful, at the same time I've never felt so loved and cherished as then, by the way how you took care of me. I'm eternally grateful for that!  
It was when you were in the hospital, that I knew how completely I loved you and even though that whole episode was incredibly painful, I realised I would never want to let you go anymore! I thank God that you got through that difficult time and that we now can look ahead to an amazing future together! You're such a kind and caring man! Funny and engaging. I love how creative you are and always up for adventures. I never ever tire from being with you! I love you with my whole being!" Here she stopped for a moment. Henry had tears in his eyes and she felt some tears in her own eyes as well.

"Now I do need to peek," she said, with a grin. "This is the official bit and I don't want to say it wrong." Everyone around her laughed.

Then she started: "I, Frankie Price, take you Henry Crawford, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

She looked up again and drowned in Henry's loving eyes. He bent over and kissed her tenderly.  
"Thank you my love! That was beautiful!"

Then it was his turn.  
"Dearest Frankie. I have no words to describe how much I love you!" He grinned for a moment. "Especially if we're not allowed to use cliché words." She laughed with him.  
"But I hope I show my love with my deeds as well. Even though our start was less than perfect, it has all worked out well. This year was one of the most difficult ones in my life. But equally the best, for I got together with you. Without God's help and your unwavering love and care, I wouldn't have survived. But we got out on the other end and stronger than ever, I think.  
I love you! I love your sense of humour, your loyalty, your integrity! You are the best person I have ever known. Despite all the trouble I have given you, you didn't give up and your love is more than I deserve. You've got my whole heart and from today on everything else as well." He winked at her and she laughed.

"Now it's my turn. I, Henry Crawford, take you Frankie Price, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part! And may that last be a long way away!"

Frankie embraced him and kissed him. "You are amazing!" she whispered.

Then the pastor said: "Well, after all these beautiful words I now may pronounce you husband and wife. If you want to kiss again." Everyone laughed and they joined their lips once more.

Now Juan and Ella brought them their rings.  
Frankie felt it was such a special moment when Henry put the ring on her finger and she did the same with him. They kissed again.  
The next moment they had to sign the official forms for the registry and the other four adults too, as witnesses.

Frankie felt so much joy, she thought she would burst. It was almost the same as when she and Henry had decided to follow Jesus.  
Henry had a big grin on his face as well, and whilst they looked at how their parents signed the register, they stole another kiss.  
They were congratulated by everyone in the room.  
"Welcome to the family, daughter," Robert whispered in her ear.  
"Thank you… dad." Frankie was suddenly crying. She had never known her father, so never had had someone to call 'dad' until now. She hugged him tighter. "This means so much to me!" she said, through her tears. Her new father-in-law smiled at her and placed a kiss on her forehead.  
"I already told Henry, but our home is your home! You can come whenever you want, it will be always open for you."

Henry was in tears for the same reason. Sue embraced him and called him son. Even though he was having the happiest day of his life, his mind went back to his mum. And he cried. The next moment he and Frankie and the two parents hugged each other. Robert whispered: "Henry, your mum would have been so proud of you! And she would have loved you very much, Frankie. I believe she is with us in spirit."

The pastor called them all back together, as they wished to ask God's blessing over their lives. As in tradition, they knelt and the pastor placed his hands on their heads and blessed them and then prayed for them. After saying amen, he continued:  
"The bible says: therefore, a man will leave his parents and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh! So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Henry had not yet heard those words before, but they resonated with him. For long they had been joined as one soul already. He knew, without knowing how to word it, that both of them experienced it this way. He looked at their rings, which they had chosen together. Of course they were different of size, but the design was such that they fitted perfectly together when joint.

They walked out, husband and wife, their hands joint, their fingers intertwined, the happiest people in the world!

_The wedding deserves its own chapter. Did you need tissues? I couldn't believe I wrote such a sweet chapter. I love it! :-) I hope you did too._


	25. Chapter 70-72

**Chapter 70**

Elena had organised a little garden party, with lovely food and romantic fairy lights through the trees. The party was lovely but both Henry and Frankie had mixed feelings. They longed to be together, just the two of them. But if they said goodbye, they would have to say goodbye to John and Sue and the children, who would fly back to England in two days' time.  
They were grateful for the lovely time they had had as one big family and hoped more of these meetings would happen in the future.

At last they got up to get their bags.  
After lots of embraces and tears they got into a taxi and drove off to a place, about an hour away, where they had booked an hotel room for their honeymoon.

The place was beautiful and the room luxurious, but neither of them would have known, especially not that first evening. They only had eyes for each other.  
They stood in an embrace for quite a while and talked about the ceremony.  
"If I'm allowed to say it, this definitely was the best day of my life! And to think it's not over yet!" Henry whispered.  
Frankie giggled. "I think I give ourselves permission to be as cheesy as we want, since I've got better things to concentrate on than thinking about synonyms."  
He laughed. "I agree. It does make it easier to not have to be too eloquent. I don't want to break my tongue on difficult words."  
Then he said, a bit more serious: "It does feel a bit weird, wearing a ring. I can feel the pressure of it. Do you have the same?"  
She nodded. "Yes it is a bit strange, but we'll get used to it I'm sure. Although I guess we need to be careful until the party in August. If we want to keep it a secret until then, we might have to take it off sometimes, when in company."  
"Yeah, you're right. But we'll see how it goes."

They kissed and soon rings and other people were entirely forgotten. What started tender, soon became passionate and they helped each other out of their clothes. For a moment they just stared at each other, a blush on their cheeks. In a way it wasn't new, since they'd slept next to each other so many times. Yet it was different.  
Frankie saw love and admiration in Henry's eyes. Then he closed the space between them and kissed her very slowly. "I love you so much!" he whispered. She put her arms around him and pulled him even closer.

Plenty of times she had slept with her head on his chest. Yet this skin-to-skin contact was different.  
It was as if she could hear his blood rushing through his veins, his heartbeat loud in her ears and every breath sounded magnified. She felt his warmth and savoured his scent.  
"I love you, Frankie Crawford," Henry whispered, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. His lips grazed over her cheeks, her eyes. "I love every part of you!"  
Frankie guided him so they both sat down. She cupped his face in her hands and looked in his eyes with all her love. With her thumbs she traced his lips, the edge of his beard, his eyebrows. Of course she knew him so well, yet right now she almost felt as if it was the first time she saw him. She was filled with a sense of wonderment. He was her husband now and for the rest of her life she would be with him, wake up next to him every morning, share all of her life with him. Her heart swelled with joy at the thought.  
"How do I get to be so lucky?" she mumbled. He smiled at her. "I'm the lucky one!" She could have teased him about having a contest as to who would be the luckiest, but for now she just returned his smile and let her hands continue their exploring. She traced his arms with her fingers and then kissed his hands. She looked at him and saw tears in his eyes. It made her pull his face closer and kiss the tears away. Then she found his mouth again. Her kiss was soft.  
Henry moaned. "Frankie you're melting me with your tenderness. I almost feel I don't deserve it."  
"Love, you are totally worth it. I love you!"  
She kissed him again and slowly their passion built up again. They lay down and without any restrictions left, they fully enjoyed each other. After some time, they got under the covers, still entangled and their breath slowly returned to normal.

"You were totally worth the wait," Henry said. "I don't know if you had the same, but those words the pastor said, about a man joining his wife and becoming one flesh. It resonated with me at that moment, as for a long time I have felt us to be soulmates or so. I remember that I once asked you why you hadn't given up on me and you answered that if you did, you would leave part of yourself. I feel the same.  
However, I guess there is more to that bible verse. We were one soul already and I guess now we're one body as well."  
He smiled, for they were still joint at that moment.

"My beloved is mine and I am his," Frankie said softly. "I found that in the bible. Did you know there's this bible book about love and you could almost call it erotic, because of the colourful descriptions. But that verse is from there and that's exactly it, isn't it?"  
Henry nodded.  
"I am yours and you are mine. I never knew how beautiful and meaningful sex could be. The world has made it so vulgar and totally robbed it of its meaning. I feel very ashamed of how I used sex in the past. But since I truly fell in love with you, I have kept myself for you. My heart belongs to you; my body as well." He kissed her.  
"The same for me!" Frankie then said. "I trust you completely Henry. And I entrust myself to you."

They were quiet for a while, enjoying the closeness and after a while their passion awakened anew.  
They slept late that night, completely happy with each other.

**Chapter 71**

The week flew past. They wandered around in the area, visiting some architecture and historical buildings; they swam in the swimming pool of the hotel and in between that all, especially if it was too hot outside, they stayed in their room and enjoyed the physical part of their marriage.  
At last they took the taxi back to their family's house and after staying there for one more night, they were brought back to the airport.  
Lots of tears flowed, as they had had a great time. Henry was so happy that his relationship with his father was restored and Frankie was glad that she got to know them. With promises of future meetings – hopefully in August – they finally said goodbye and flew back to England.

Their newly married life was quite exciting and they had their own house now to take care of. Henry stayed one more week at home before he had to work again. Frankie had already resigned and besides preparing for university she looked for a job for the months in between. A few more rooms had to be redecorated and they also wanted to build a conservatory. Henry had already drawn the design and they had found a company who would build it for them.  
For about three weeks more the house was a mess, but at last all was finished and they could furnish it all properly.  
They were finished in time before the heat of the summer. Frankie found a job in the library, which was just what she liked! Henry said he was glad that it wasn't a shop, as Frankie would have spent her salary on buying new books.  
Frankie only laughed about this.  
She was glad their house had plenty of space and her dream of a very, very big bookcase could come true. On their days off they explored the area, had countless picnics on St Catherine's Hill and sometimes they drove down to Portsmouth to visit the family. They took the children to the beach for a few times and even went to Paulton's Park with them.

Ed and Mary visited them for a weekend to hear about their holiday in Spain. It was difficult to not let anything slip sometimes. But they emphasised how good it had been to reconnect with his father and they told Mary earnestly how he longed to see her again. Mary was quiet and thoughtful upon hearing that news.  
At last she said: "I think I might like to see him again. Maybe we need to go on holiday there as well, Ed."  
"For now that might not be necessary yet," Henry told her.  
"They have plans to come to England for a week or so in August. We told them we would love to see them at our housewarming party. So if you're ok with that, you will meet them then."  
"That would be nice," was her only reply.  
Ed and Mary told they would go on holiday themselves after the party. Ed had survived his first year at Thornton Lacey and was now enjoying the school holidays.  
Frankie and Henry showed them the area. Of course they visited St Catherine's Hill.  
"Why do I recognise this place?" Ed asked.  
"Because it features in one of my videos," Frankie answered with a smile.  
"Ah, that's why. Talking about videos, are you still making them? I haven't seen one in a while."

"Occasionally," she said. "We filmed some stuff during our holiday, but we'll show that during the party. I sometimes make a video for Will, but lately I've properly made them private. I'm sorry for all the people missing them. I might post the one I will be showing on the party for everyone to see. But not yet of course." She laughed a bit and Henry with her.  
"Well, I can't wait," Mary said. "I was a bit disappointed to not see more photos from your time in Spain. Only one or two on Twitter is not much. But, have it your way." She shrugged. "I must say you have changed considerably, Frankie. Less shy, if I may say so. But am I right that you still don't like being in the centre of attention?"  
Frankie nodded, a bit embarrassed.  
"But you've changed my brother as well. I've never known him to be so private. And he never used to have problems with sharing photos or getting attention." She laughed a bit.  
Henry almost looked sheepish, but Frankie squeezed his hand.  
"Well, sister, sometimes people do change." He said. "And, don't worry. I still talk if I need to. Just not to you." She smirked.

They changed topic, and – while they had their picnic – they talked about Frankie's new job and Ed told about the new household manager at the Antigua, from what he had heard from his father.  
Then Mary said: "We've actually got some news for you! We're also looking to buy a house together!" Ed looked very pleased when she said it.  
"Yep. We've decided to follow your example." Frankie and Henry shared an amused look, both wondering if they would follow that example all the way through.  
"But we're staying in London. We've come up with a compromise as to the location, so it won't cost us a fortune. Mary said she wouldn't mind but I don't want to live off my girlfriend's money." He looked a bit embarrassed, but Mary looked unconcerned and shrugged. "The pride of men," she said to Frankie. "But we'll sort it out. How did you guys do that actually? If you don't mind me asking."  
They didn't like talking about finances but sometimes it was inevitable. Frankie gave Henry a nod and he said: "We've found a balance in sharing the mortgage and the daily costs. For now, of course I pay most of it, since Frankie is going to study, but in the future we should be able to make the balance more even, should we wish so."  
"Wow, that all sounds quite official," Ed laughed. "I guess we need to look into that as well, to have it legally sorted etc."  
Henry and Frankie only nodded. It had taken them a while to get their head around it all. They were glad they had it all sorted.

* * *

After this visit, the party and Frankie's twenty-second birthday were rapidly approaching.  
Three weeks before the day they got some disappointing news, when Will let them know his leave was withdrawn due to serious circumstances in the mission of the ship. He hadn't given much more details, but via the news they knew there were some dangerous developments in the area and the naval forces had their hands full with dealing with the situation.  
It brought such a damper on everything. Frankie refused to have a party if her brother was in danger.  
Henry found it very difficult to relieve her fear and her downcast mood.  
They prayed ceaselessly for Will's safety and got the help of their church, as they offered support in the form of a special prayer meeting for him.  
This got through to Frankie and she found the confidence that God was looking after her brother and she would see him well.

The answer to their prayers at first seemed to be the exact opposite, when a week after the first news they got the message that Will was shot in his leg. The bullet had broken his shin and he was hospitalised on the ship. Of course, this was shocking news, but then they heard that as soon as he was able to travel, he would return to the UK to recover from his injuries.  
A week before the intended date of the party the Crawfords and Sue and John went to pick up Will from Heathrow.

Frankie almost couldn't stop crying when she saw Will, and her mother was in no better state.  
Henry knew how this situation had affected Frankie and he was glad to see Will wasn't in too bad a state. He looked his cheerful self, even though he was sitting in a wheelchair and his leg had an impressive cast around it.  
Frankie couldn't contain herself and flew towards him to embrace him.  
"Hi Franks, I'm sorry I've scared you so much. But the upside is that I can attend your party after all."  
Frankie wasn't able to say much through her tears. She made space for her mother and let Henry wrap his arms around her in comfort. He wiped her tears away and smiled.  
"He doesn't look too bad, does he?" he said.  
"It could have been worse," was her reply.

John's car was big enough for all five of them and a wheelchair, so soon they were on their way. They had decided Will would stay in Winchester, as Frankie and Henry's house was a bit bigger and would be easier to access with wheelchair. The house in Portsmouth was too cramped and it would be too busy for the patient, with the children being there half the time.  
In the car Will told almost cheerfully what had happened and he assured them he wasn't in much pain. However, he had to be seen by a doctor every few days to keep the wound clean.  
When they arrived home, they helped Will to his room, since the journey had tired him quite a bit.

The other four sat together in the living room and discussed the events.  
"A good thing is that your party can still happen," John said.  
"I'm not sure," Frankie answered. "Through all this, I'm not sure if I'm in the mood for a party."  
"But you heard Will!" was her mother's comment. "He expects for it to still happen."  
Henry didn't say anything. He left this decision to Frankie. He didn't want to force her to have the party if her mind was not in it.  
"We haven't cancelled anything yet," Frankie said. "We'll leave it for two more days to see how Will is doing and then make the decision. What do you think Henry?"  
He nodded. "Yes, that sounds like a good plan!" Then he asked: "Do you guys want to stay here as well?"  
Sue shook her head. "I know you've got the space, but the children are coming tomorrow. As much as I wish to be near my son, I know he is in good hands and we can travel up and down easily."  
Everyone agreed with that and the two couples talked about different subjects.

Will joined them for lunch. It took a bit of manoeuvring with the furniture, but all fitted.  
They had a pleasant time and Will was as talkative as usual and entertained them with lighter stories of his time on the Kent.  
Then he asked: "So, who is coming to your party then?"  
Frankie didn't answer at first. Will then said: "I hope you're not planning to cancel it because of me. At least it would give me something to look forward to! You know, I was disappointed myself when my leave was suspended. Even though I don't like this blasted leg- business, at least I get to be here!"  
Frankie allowed a little smile.  
"Alright, you'll have your way then!" Will's face lit up, but then she continued: "Provided that the next days go well. I would not impose a party on you if you're feeling poorly."  
Will bowed his head. "I will endeavour to improve," he said mock-formally.  
Now Frankie laughed. Henry was relieved to see it. The past days she had been too downcast.  
He felt very grateful that God had answered their prayers in a very special way.

Henry was roused from his thoughts by Will.  
"Crawford, could you please pass me those bread rolls?" Henry complied without a thought. He was startled at the next comment.  
"What's that?" Will asked.  
Henry looked at him. "What do you mean?"  
Will looked a bit amused. "Show your hand please."  
Henry caught Frankie's look which said: 'I think we're discovered.'  
He reluctantly showed his hand.  
"Aha," Will said. "Frankie could you do the same, please." When she obeyed, he continued in mock-seriousness: "Ah, you guys couldn't wait until I was back, could you? I'm not sure if I should be angry or happy. Frankie, how could you? I would have wanted to be there! When was the big day?"  
Frankie smiled a bit embarrassed.  
"Sorry Will, but if it reassures you, hardly anyone was there anyway. We wanted to keep it a secret until the party. Neither of us wanted a big wedding, so we quietly got married in Spain. Mum and John and the kids were there, as well as Henry's dad and his family."  
Now they had to tell everything. Will was still shaking his head as if he couldn't quite believe it.  
"Well, you certainly kept the secret very well! Not even mentioning anything in your videos! And no one else knows?"  
"Not even Mary or Ed," affirmed Henry.  
The conversation carried on well into the afternoon, until Will had to rest again. They had noticed he was in pain so helped him with the painkillers he had been prescribed.

**Chapter 72**

The next few days Sue visited them nearly every day. They decided to keep the children away so Will had some rest, but they would be there at the party of course.  
With the party back on the planning, Frankie and Henry were busy with the preparations.  
On Friday evening Frankie sighed deeply, when they lay in bed, quite exhausted.  
"I'm glad we've bundled the three occasions in one. The idea of having to organise three separate parties would drive me mad!"  
Henry laughed, when he rubbed her back. "You're doing very well, love. But I do agree one is quite enough!"  
They slept early, too tired for any activities.

The next morning Henry went to the airport to pick up his dad and family. Frankie stayed with Will at home and even though she was busy with the last preparations, they found time to talk. "So, does it feel any different, being Mrs Crawford?" Will asked; he sounded quite serious.  
"It is amazing," Frankie answered. "I wouldn't have believed it last year, but Henry is the most wonderful husband. I am so glad to spend my life with him!"  
Will smiled at her enthusiastic comment. "I can see that! Before, you were already nigh inseparable. But what makes it different, being married, from just living together?"  
Frankie had to think. "Well I don't know for sure, for we only started to live together after the wedding. But sometimes I think people are too easy about living together as it might be easier to get out of it when it doesn't work."  
Will nodded. "I would live together with someone first to see if we work together so to say. If there's problems, it's easier to get out of the relationship."  
"Exactly," Frankie said. "But I know it's possible to get to know each other well before you start to live together. People are often too quick to progress their physical relationship, so to say, without allowing time to get to know each other in all the other aspects. If you then, later, discover that you don't suit each other, the break is much more painful."  
Will furrowed his brows. "Franks, are you not a bit hypocritical here? No offence."  
"Why?" was her question in return.  
"Ah, come on. You know why."

Frankie shook her head. "If you must know, Henry and I never had sex before our wedding day. We may have slept in the same bed multiple times, but never went any further."  
Upon Will's incredulous look she continued: "Why would I lie about that? I've no reason for that."  
Will was quiet for quite a long time and Frankie continued cutting tomatoes for the salad she was making.  
At last he said: "I thought I knew my sister. But the last year you've surprised me multiple times! This is definitely one of those times! You are one extraordinary person! And if you must know, I'm quite envious of your relationship, the way you went about it!"  
Frankie didn't answer. She was still uneasy to talk about her and Henry's relationship, even to her own brother.

"So, how's Suzy?" she asked, to change the topic.  
"I'm not sure," was Will's hesitant answer. "We've had contact over the past few months, but due to the circumstances it wasn't very close contact. I know she was on holiday these past two weeks."  
Frankie nodded. "Yes, but she should be here tonight. Did you tell her of your injury?"  
Will coloured. "Not yet. Do you think I should?"

"William Price," was his sister's stern reply. "She undoubtedly has heard about the troubles where you were. She asked me if you were still coming today. I had to disappoint her. After that she went on holiday. I'm sure she's very worried about you and I don't think she would take the surprise well if she saw you suddenly here tonight, injury and all. Please ring her. She should be prepared!"  
Will looked almost subdued. "You are right. I should do that."  
He turned his wheelchair around and rode into the living room. A moment later Frankie heard him talk in his phone.  
She hoped it would work out. Her friend deserved to know what happened. In the past months there was seldom a conversation with Suzy in which she didn't mention Will in one way or other.  
Frankie looked up to her brother, but she knew he wasn't always wise and she thought the way he had dealt with his relationship with Suzy was not his strongest point. She wished she could prevent her friend from getting a heartbreak.

Deep in thought she continued the preparations until she heard a car on the drive. Quickly she washed her hands and hastened to the door. She ran out to their guests and happily greeted Robert, Elena and the two children with embraces.  
"So good to see you again! How was the journey? Come in." She helped carrying suitcases into the house.  
She saw Henry smile as he caught her eyes. He gave her a quick kiss as greeting.

Ten minutes later they all sat in the living room with a drink, after the guests had settled themselves a bit.  
Will looked a bit out of sorts, but still seemed able to engage in conversation with her own family-in-law. They had a catch-up as to how everyone was doing and then Frankie excused herself to get on with her jobs. She wished she could spend more time talking, but she knew in the following days she would have time to do that. Soon Elena joined her and insisted on helping. Then she saw Henry and his dad walk outside to sort out seating in the garden. Frankie was happy they had found a house in town with such a big garden.  
Sounds of a computer game were heard in the living room, where Will entertained Ella and Juan. She could hear him talk about his adventures in the navy and the two teenagers clearly seemed impressed.  
"You look well, Frankie!" Elena said.  
"Thank you Elena. You too." Frankie told she was very happy in her life, despite the recent worries about Will.  
She shortly told what had happened.  
Elena was very sympathetic. "It must be very difficult to have him always far away and in dangerous situations."  
Frankie shrugged.  
"It's been about three years now, since he joined the navy. I don't think I ever get used to it, but life goes on. I'm glad I usually don't know many details about these missions. It would have me worry even more. But the last few months, and now even the last few weeks, I have learned to trust that God will take care of him. And I have been almost surprised how that turned out last week. I was so scared for his safety and we even had the church praying for him. Then he got shot and was sent home to recover. Whilst I hate it that he's in pain, I'm glad he is safe and in not too bad a condition."  
Elena smiled. "God's way of answering our prayers can sometimes seem quite strange. But He knows what He's up to, so we're in good hands."

After everything was ready, they had a quick sandwich and then got changed. By three o'clock the first guests started to arrive. The first ones were John and Sue and the children. They bounced out of the car, enthusiastic as usual about seeing Frankie and Henry. With having Will also there, as well as their two friends from Spain, their joy was complete.  
"You've got your princess dress on again!" was Betsey's happy observation! Frankie laughed. "Later on I might even put on my crown, but not yet."  
The little girl ran towards Will but came quickly to a halt when she saw his leg.  
"Are you hurt?" she asked seriously.  
"Only a little," was Will's reassuring reply. He pulled her closer for a hug and soon her sudden shyness was gone. Frankie heard her chatting about her holiday and how many ice creams she had been eating already, whilst Will listened on with an amused look on his face.

She and Henry then walked off to greet new guests. Frankie had invited some of her colleagues, as had Henry. And they had asked some of their new friends from church as well.  
The Bertrams all came together, except Mary and Ed, who had already arrived earlier. They were pleasantly surprised to see Julia and Yates again. They had come back from their trip only a few weeks ago.

The meeting between Mary and her dad was awkward at first. Robert seemed to waver between two reactions: to pull her in his arms and tell her how she had grown or being scared to approach her at all since he felt guilty of having deserted her all those years ago.  
Mary was a bit reserved, but accepted his embrace.  
Frankie and Henry saw them later sitting in a quiet corner, talking. They smiled at each other. It seemed that their mission was accomplished.

Another interesting meeting was the one between Frankie's mother and Mrs Bertram, who hadn't seen each other in years. Especially with Mrs B's easy character they seemed to soon forget about earlier trouble and were soon chatting about their respective families.  
Frankie saw the encounter between Suzy and Will seemed restrained. Suzy appeared to be quite upset, but at least they were talking. Frankie resolved to talk with her later.

_A.N. Warning: everything I wrote in this chapter about Will's time on the Kent is my own invention. _


	26. Chapter 73- epilogue

**Chapter 73**

When all their guests had arrived, they guided them into the living room. It was a bit cramped but it just about fitted.  
Henry took Frankie's hand in his before he spoke:  
"I am glad that you all have come to our party. I think you all know that we threw this party for a few different reasons. Firstly, because we want to show off our new house!" People laughed.  
"If you would like a tour, please come to us later and we'll take you.  
The second reason for this party is because it's Frankie's birthday on Tuesday and we want to celebrate that with you. In a little while we'll sing for her and have cake.  
Now, you might know that we went on holiday to Spain. One of the reasons was for me to reconnect with my dad, which I can say was a success." He smiled at Robert.  
"As you might know Frankie makes videos every now and then and posts them on YouTube. Originally just for her brother Will, but now also for the rest of the world.  
So, in line with that, she filmed some bits and pieces from our holiday that we would like to show you now. I hope you'll enjoy."  
With that he pressed play and the video started on their big TV screen.  
He put his arm around her and then they mainly watched the others watch the video.

Frankie's face appeared on the screen:  
"Hi guys, sorry I haven't been so regular with my videos lately, but I want to make up with this one. Henry and I had a lovely holiday in Spain and of course we filmed some bits. So a Spain compilation especially for all of you!"

There were shots of the house, them on the beach, walking around in towns, chats in the living room with the family, a few photos of various moments, all with a nice song on the background.  
Then the music subsided and there was the shot where Frankie stepped out of the car by the chapel and walked in at her mother's arm. John had moved around and then stood near the altar zooming in on them both.

Some gasps were already heard in the audience now.

Then the sound was turned up when they made their vows. More shots of putting on the rings, kneeling for the blessing and the signing of the register. The last shot was of the happy couple walking out of that little chapel.

The screen went black.

Both Henry and Frankie were highly amused about the shocked faces of many of their guests. It seemed their plan had worked well.  
Mary was the first one to speak. She walked towards them.  
"You… you sneaky, secretive sods," they saw she didn't mean it, she was just a bit overwhelmed. "Why did you not tell me? I would have wanted to be there!"

Then she hugged both of them. "Congrats to both of you! I've got a sister-in-law now. How exciting!" She was nearly babbling, but Frankie and Henry let her and thanked her with a laugh on their faces.

"Mary, if it helps, I didn't know anything either, until I discovered it this week by accident!" was Will's reaction. "Our siblings really pulled it off, didn't they?! By the way, what date did this happy event take place?" He asked, mock serious.  
"The third of June," was Frankie's reply.  
More congratulations were coming from different people.

Frankie had beckoned Betsey and whispered something in her ear. The little girl ran off and came back a moment later with something shiny in her hand. She handed it over to Henry, who smiled his thanks.

"Could I have your attention back, please?" Henry spoke up again.  
Frankie felt proud of him, knowing he usually had difficulty with speeches.  
He carefully placed the tiara on Frankie's head, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"We had asked both my father and his family, and Frankie's mum and family, if they could be there with us, especially because the girls were the cause of –at least for me – more thinking about marrying. They were so eager to see Frankie as a princess on our wedding day, that they gifted her this beautiful tiara. Doesn't my wife look beautiful?" He smiled proudly. Frankie coloured deeply at the little applause she received.  
Henry kissed her. "I hope you know I mean it!" he whispered.  
"You tell me all the time, so it must be true," was her laughing reply.

"Anyway," Henry got the attention back, "to make up for you who weren't there, we might repeat at least one thing!" He got their rings out of his pocket and they both put a ring on each other's finger.  
"I missed it today," Frankie said laughingly. "I'm glad I now can wear it all the time."  
"Now it's birthday time!" Henry declared. Elena quickly left the room and got back with the cake with lit candles. They all sung 'happy birthday'.  
Frankie felt a bit embarrassed about all the attention, but felt not too bad. After all, she mused, she was among friends.  
After the song she blew out the candles and then Henry said: "Now, enjoy our party. Cake for everyone. Help yourself to food and drinks from the tables. And if you want a tour of the house, come and see us."

Everyone now talked through each other. Elena had found a spot on the table, where she was cutting the cake and Ella helped her handing out the pieces.  
After congratulating the couple, people started to disperse through the house and the garden. They were approached by Ed. He still looked like he couldn't quite believe it.  
"Franks, Henry. Congratulations on your marriage! Wow, that was a surprise certainly!" He hugged them both. "But I still can't understand why you kept it a secret."  
Frankie smiled at her friend. "We don't like wedding parties at all, so we wanted to find a way to still get married, but without all the hassle of a party." Ed slowly nodded. "I see. Well, it certainly worked! I can see you're very happy together."  
"Thank you! We are!"  
They chatted a bit more, until Ed made way for Suzy.

She hugged both of them. "Congratulations! I do agree with Mary though, that you've been very sneaky. Can I see your ring?"  
Frankie held her hand out. "You need to see them together though." She grabbed Henry's hand and held it up as well.  
"Wow, that looks quite intricate! But it does fit with you." They showed her how the rings fit together. "Why am I not surprised?" Suzy laughed. "Trust Henry to come up with a design like this."  
"We did it together. Not just me," Henry replied.

Some of Henry's colleagues passed by and asked about his latest project.  
Frankie pulled Suzy along with her. "Let them talk about work," she laughed. "So tell me, how are you?" They sat down in the conservatory.  
Suzy's face quickly darkened, but then she put on a tight smile. "My holiday was great," she said. "I didn't know Norway was so beautiful!" Then she sighed, probably without realising.  
"Good to hear!" Frankie said. "But how are _you_?"  
Suzy closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm not really sure," she said. "I know you're his sister, but you are also my friend…" Frankie interrupted her: "I can handle it if you're not entirely positive about my brother. I know sometimes he can be a bit of a blockhead."

Suzy smiled a little and then said: "It's just, since the news about the problems in that area, I've been worrying like crazy about him. I was sad he wouldn't be here today. And then he just rung up this morning that he would be here after all, but a bit injured. He's been back in the country for how long? A week or so? Why did he not contact me before? I know I was on holiday, but it's not like I was without internet or so." She sighed again. "I know we're just friends. But I thought there was more. I guess I'm just disappointed."  
Frankie hugged her friend. "I know it must be difficult. Of course, we did hear about it because we're family, but sometimes Will can be difficult to get news from. I guess he wants to protect us or so from bad news? I remember about two years ago he had a minor accident, but he only told us after he'd had recovered already. He said he didn't want us to worry. Maybe that's why he didn't tell you now?"  
Suzy nodded. "I guess I understand that. But I was worried, what with the situation there and all. Plus, I'd rather know something than being kept in ignorance."  
"Maybe you should tell him that!" Frankie encouraged her.  
"I don't know. He will find me nosy probably. Maybe he would think I'm not important enough to him to be kept updated. Before he left in January he said with so many words, that we could only be friends. I'm… I'm not sure if I can do that." Her voice fell to a whisper: "I don't know if I should tell you this, but, I think I'm in love with him. But I'm quite sure he doesn't feel the same."

Frankie stroked her back. "I feel for you Suzy. But maybe you just need to talk about it with him. At least you will know where you stand."  
Suzy got out of the embrace. "I'm not sure I can do that. That's very scary. And definitely not now."  
"Well," was Frankie's almost cheerful response. "He's not likely to go anywhere in the coming weeks. Is that enough time for you to gather courage? Or you could stay here overnight. I don't think today would be the best time, as you say."  
A small smile appeared. "Thanks, Franks! I will let you know. Let's see how it goes tonight." After another hug she walked away, looking a bit more cheerful.

Frankie went outside and chatted here and there with her guests. It looked like everyone was having a good time. Will had the Bertram siblings and Yates surround him and seemed to be in an animated conversation. She walked towards them and was invited to join them.  
"Jules and Yates are talking about their trip," Will said. But before they continued with that, they first embraced Frankie and congratulated her.  
Once more she had to tell why they had kept their wedding a secret.  
"You should have said," was Rhea's comment. "I could have organised your wedding! It's my job now after all." Frankie grimaced.  
"I know you're very good at it, but we just didn't want anything big at all. As much as we missed some people," here she looked at Will, "I'm very happy about how it went. The day was perfect! You know I don't really like to be in the centre of attention."  
"But Henry does. Or at least he did." Rhea said.  
Frankie kept herself from rolling her eyes.  
"He hates weddings. And we were both absolutely sure that this is how we wanted it to be."  
Will said, a bit amused: "Henry has changed. I've got the feeling that nowadays he wouldn't mind being on a deserted island and be perfectly happy, as long as Frankie is with him."  
"I haven't thought of that before, but I think you're right," came Henry's voice suddenly from behind them. He wrapped his arms around Frankie and she leaned her head on his chest. He kissed her on the top of her head and then said: "What were you guys saying about me?"  
Will laughed. "Rhea thought you would miss being in the centre of attention. Like most people here, she can't believe why you got married so sneakily."  
"I'm afraid, love, that will be the subject of most of our conversations today," Henry said to Frankie. She laughed. "Ah well, I guess it's our own fault."

The conversation went back to the adventures of Julia and Yates.  
Frankie felt a bit distracted sometimes by the loving embrace of her husband. From the corner of her eyes, she saw his attention on the conversation, but his hands were playing with the ring on her finger. She entwined their fingers and then brought her attention back to the others.  
They were disturbed by Suzy, who casually asked if anyone wanted a drink. Frankie saw she deliberately didn't look at Will. However, he was the first one reacting and asked for a beer. Now the others gave their wishes as well, and Suzy walked off. Frankie noticed Will followed her with his eyes. She smiled at that. Maybe there was some hope for Suzy yet.  
When Suzy came back with their drinks, she joined them and then Tom asked Will to tell about his past few months. Will couldn't tell many details, but the things he could share, he told with humour and sometimes slight exaggeration.

Frankie had then to return to the kitchen to put out food for a sort of dinner buffet. She found Elena happily preparing some dishes. Frankie smiled at her stepmother-in-law's apparent sense of feeling at home. She was only happy about it. They both sorted out the food and then encouraged people to get some more food. Everyone seemed to be happily chatting around the place.

The two teenagers, together with Richard were playing Minecraft in the living room and Frankie found the three girls on their tummies on the floor in the study, watching a film on the laptop.  
All three looked up, when she walked in.  
"Henry set it up for us," Charlie said.  
Frankie nodded. "Is it a nice film you're watching?" she asked. They nodded in unison.  
"We're watching Zootropolis. And it's very funny," Sammy said.  
Frankie left the girls to it after telling them that they could come to get some dinner.

She met Henry in the dining room, where he just walked in through the open garden doors.  
He embraced her.  
"Are you enjoying yourself, love?" he asked.  
She nodded. "I am. Enough nice conversations and everyone seems to enjoy it all. What about you?"

"Yes, it's nice to catch up with people! I was wondering something. I've been observing Mary and dad and they really seem to be getting on. I was thinking if we could offer her and Ed to stay here for the night, if they want to. I just don't want to see their time cut short and dad and Elena are here only for the week. So Mary might not have more time to see them."  
"I must say, I had been thinking the same. The only thing is I'm not sure where to put them. Since all bedrooms are occupied already. Do you think they would mind a makeshift bed in the study?"  
Henry thought about that for a moment. "I guess we should just ask. I think they wouldn't mind it much." Frankie nodded and then they set off, hand in hand, to find Mary and Ed.  
"Mary, we wanted to ask you something," Frankie started.  
"Are you enjoying your time talking with dad?" Henry asked.  
Mary nodded thoughtfully. "Yes I am! And I never thought I would. I wish there was more time to talk though; I feel like I need to make up for lost time. Unfortunately, I think I'm quite busy the coming week."  
Henry nodded. "We thought as much. Would you like to stay another night here? So that you have more opportunity to catch up? We would love to have you stay. Although I do need to give you a warning, that we only might be able to offer you a makeshift bed in the study." He grimaced at the last bit.  
Mary smiled. "That's quite nice of you! I hadn't thought of that. I might take you up on the offer! Shall I ask if Ed wants to stay as well?"  
"By all means," Frankie answered. "We weren't planning to separate you if you didn't want to!"  
Soon it was settled that they would stay.

The evening progressed and Frankie saw that Suzy and Will had found a place to talk. It looked like they were quite serious. She hoped it would work out between them.  
When guests began to leave, their family started to help tidy up. The youngest two girls were asleep on one of the guest beds.  
The Bertrams left after an agreement between Mrs Bertram and Frankie's mother to meet up soon. They had enjoyed their reunion and were happy to renew their friendship.  
Frankie was pleasantly surprised when Will and Suzy together asked if Suzy could stay for the night.  
She looked at Suzy, who nodded with a smile.  
She laughed. "Well, how can I say no?" She was rewarded with a hug.

Frankie and Henry almost laughed out loud when her mum came next. The girls were sleeping so nicely; they wouldn't want to wake them up to drive home. Could they…  
Frankie nodded. "Of course. The more the merrier." Henry's eyes twinkled. "It starts to feel like a hotel here, with all those guests." But he did not mind at all.  
It was nice to have everyone they loved, staying around.  
One of their church friends overheard the last conversation and asked if they needed help with bedding.  
They looked surprised. "Yes please, that would be very helpful! I don't think we've got enough."  
Catherine smiled. "I'll pop over to my house and I'll be back in ten minutes." She lived very nearby.  
"Thank you!" was the couple's grateful reply.

With joint effort now everything was tidied up and when Catherine came back with some air mattresses and sleeping bags, the living room was cleared to turn it into a bedroom. The children that were still awake, were excited to have a sleepover. John resolved to stay with them, while Sue would stay with the two girls in the guestroom. Then there was a room for Robert and Elena, the one where Will stayed and Suzy got a makeshift bed there. And Ed and Mary would stay in the study.  
It was rather a full house, but they didn't really mind.  
Henry told the adults: "I hope you don't mind, but you may sort out your own breakfast in the morning. Whoever is willing or happy to make something, may do so. If not, help yourself to what's there in the kitchen."

Finally, he and Frankie found themselves in their own bedroom. Frankie sat down on the bed.  
"That was quite a nice day, wasn't it?" she said. "But, I am rather tired now."  
Henry paused his undressing and sat down next to her, pulling her in his arms.  
"You're a very good hostess I must say! I'm glad everything worked out very well."  
He kissed her tenderly. Then he stood them both up and with care he removed her clothes. She smiled at his action and in return helped him.

They soon lay in bed in a loving embrace.  
"What are you most thankful for today?" Frankie asked. They had started a habit of asking each other this every night, since they arrived in their own home after they returned from Spain.  
"I'm very happy about how dad's and Mary's reconnection went. And I'm glad they will have some more time tomorrow hopefully." Frankie smiled. "I'm glad about that too." She kissed him slowly, before she told: "And I'm grateful that Will and Suzy seemed to have made up."  
"What was the matter then?" She hadn't had the time to tell him about what Suzy had told her.  
"Suzy was upset that he had only rung her this morning, after I had advised him to do that. She hadn't known he was in the country nor that he was injured. She confessed to me she has deeper feelings for him and he didn't seem to return them.  
But I think they'll be alright. I told her before that she could stay if she wanted more time to speak with Will. I'm glad she accepted."  
"Well that was a lot going on then." Henry smiled. "But that sounds good. They're good for each other I think, although I don't know Suzy that well."

He kissed her and their thoughts and words now turned to one another, forgetting all their guests in the rest of the house.  
Despite being tired, they long lay awake. Frankie in her favourite spot, in Henry's arms, with her head on his chest.  
She sighed: "This is home!"  
"What do you mean?" Henry asked.  
"Well, this. Being in your arms. I cannot think of a better place to be. I love you Henry. Thank you for being my husband!"  
He kissed her face and, when she turned around enough, her mouth.  
"That's to your own merits, dear wife," his voice sounded a bit cheeky. Then, more serious: "Sometimes I'm still surprised that you love me. You're the best that ever happened to me and I will do my best to never make you regret saying 'yes' to me." He kissed her again. "I love you so much!"  
"Love, I will never ever regret that! You're my life!"

* * *

**Epilogue**

Frankie felt immensely relieved and satisfied, when she finally received her diploma. She really had enjoyed the past four years of studying. Although sometimes it had been a challenge, with everything else happening in her life.

She looked down from the stage and saw the eyes of her husband focused on her, filled with pride and love for her. She smiled at him. Even after four years of marriage, he still had that effect on her. No matter where they were, their eyes would always meet.

After the ceremony they found each other in the crowd of people. Henry embraced her. "Congratulations, love! I'm so proud of you!"  
She smiled. "Thank you Henry! You know how I enjoyed my study, but I am sort of glad it's over now! Time for other things." She briefly looked down at her belly.

They were interrupted by Ed and Mary, and close behind were Will and Suzy. Frankie received hugs of congratulations from all of them.  
"Well done, Franks," was Will's comment. "I'm so glad I could be here for your special day!"  
"A well-timed leave," she laughed at him. "Now Suzy, we shall have to fight for his attention. How long are you staying Will?"  
His eyes twinkled. "Well, at least until I have met my niece."  
Frankie beamed. "You sound like a proud uncle. But that might not be for another four weeks you know." She caressed her abdomen.  
"I know! I've got six weeks. So you'd better hurry." He laughed at her face.  
"Not too fast," was Henry's reply. "I haven't finished the mural yet."

They all laughed. Henry had started in the nursery almost as soon as they knew they were having a baby. He was putting so much effort in it, one would think he was making a million-pounds-worth artwork.  
Frankie knew that he was putting his heart and soul in it.  
She had been sitting with him, first while he was sketching and later when he filled in the pictures with paint. She had been studying, writing her dissertations and in between they had talked, trying to imagine how their life would be when their daughter would be born. And they prayed for her.  
Those times together were very precious to her.

Her attention went back to her family. Their parents had also come to congratulate her and she hugged them all, before they slowly made their way out and toward the cars.  
Henry held her hand. He had been so caring, even more than usual if that were possible, for the past months. In the beginning she had laughed at him. "You're treating me as if I could break any moment." He had smiled a bit sheepishly. "Sorry, maybe I'm overdoing it a bit. But I hope you know the reason why."  
She had assured him that she did not really mind and –although he had reined himself in a bit - she enjoyed his attentiveness.

He didn't drive home as she expected. "Where are we going?"  
Henry laughed. "You'll see in a minute. Don't worry, the others know we'll be back a bit later."  
Frankie sighed theatrically. "Have it your way," she said, but sounded amused.  
They arrived near their favourite spot and Henry parked the car.  
"Don't worry, I won't make you climb the hill today."  
She laughed. "I'm glad about that."

They found another spot with a beautiful view. The weather was lovely today, not too warm, but pleasant. Frankie was glad about that. The summer had been quite difficult sometimes. Frankie had sometimes wondered at how Henry still found her beautiful, as he said so often. She had felt big, her ankles swollen because of the hot weather and she felt flustered all the time. She was grateful for having air conditioning in the bedroom; otherwise she would have hardly slept.

She sat down on the bench where Henry had guided her and he sat next to her.  
"So what's up love?" she asked with a smile.  
He took her hands in his.  
"You know that usually I'm not much into remembering special dates or so. Except our wedding day of course." He added with a laugh.  
"Today is five years since that day in Portsmouth. And although I remember how disappointed I was when you rejected me for the second time, I'm very glad that that's not where the day ended. And while it was not nice of course that Tom had his accident, I am glad that I got to spend more time with you because of it."  
"And look where it got us," she said with a twinkle in her eyes.  
Henry embraced her and put his hands on her stomach.  
"I can't wait to meet her!" his voice sounded dreamy. Frankie smiled. "Me neither."

They were quiet for a while until Henry roused himself.  
"Sorry, I brought us here for a reason. I've got something for you."  
He took a little package from his pocket and placed it in her hands.  
Before opening it, Frankie kissed her husband. "Thank you love!"  
"You haven't even seen the contents yet," he laughed.  
"But I know it will be something beautiful. You're so talented!" she stopped quiet for a moment.  
"Maybe you can add designing jewellery to your list."

He only smiled. Since two years he was working freelance as architect, being able to choose his projects and sometimes working together with his uncle's company. Besides that, he always had commissions lined up for his pictures. They proved to be quite popular. And he had published, on a very small scale, two comic books. Their animation films were taking longer; he had been busy with many other things.

Frankie opened the box and found a lovely little bracelet with a few charms on it. One was a copy of her necklace, the next a simple cross and the third one was two hands intertwined. Frankie smiled at the reason behind it all.  
"Another charm will be added soon," he said, pointing at her belly.

She kissed him again. "Henry, you're spoiling me."  
He laughed. "You are worth it! Only the best for you, love!"  
"I know," she replied. "Your gifts are always so thought out. I remember how annoying I found that with your first ever gift."  
His brows shot up in question.  
"Remember? The Langston Hughes poetry book."  
Now he nodded. "Yes, I remember. I just want, with everything I give, to let you know how much I love you! And take who you are and what you like into consideration by choosing."  
"I know that you do! Yet you never fail to surprise me. You're an amazing person, Henry Crawford!"  
"Only the best for my wife, Mrs Crawford," he winked.

After he fastened the bracelet around her wrist, he helped her up and they walked back to the car. They drove back home to the guests that had come for her graduation party.  
Even though they saw everyone quite regularly, it was nice to meet for a celebration!

Ed and Mary had gotten married a month ago and lived in their bought house in London. Ed was still happily teaching, but at another school now. Mary was heading most of her uncle's business now and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Will was on leave at the moment. Suzy was very much a 'navy-wife'. She lived in their house in Portsmouth and sometimes didn't see her husband for months on end. But they seemed happy enough under the circumstances. Although Suzy missed him of course when Will was at sea, the knowledge of his love for her was enough. Sometimes he would be on shore for some months and be happy, but always, towards the end, he would be itching to be back at sea. Suzy had accepted that she had to share his love with the vast waters and the life on a ship.

Robert and Elena were now so frequently in England, they had purchased a holiday home somewhere near Winchester and Henry and Frankie always enjoyed their time with the family. Ella and Juan were starting university in the next month in the UK and the whole family had decided to move there for the time being.  
They all knew there was a double reason for that, for the grandparents looked forward to see as much of their grandchild as was possible.

John and Sue had married a mere six months after Henry and Frankie and the pair as well as the children were frequent guests in the Crawford home.

The party would also consist of various friends, like the Bertram family whom they still saw regularly, if they were not travelling. For Julia and Yates often appeared to be in England only for a few months, before going off again. They seemed happy with a life of adventure. Tom had also gotten the travel bug and had been off various times on photography expeditions.  
Rhea had her own event organiser company and had a boyfriend.  
Mr and Mrs Bertram were as they always were. Both Mansfield Park and The Antigua were thriving and there were rumours that Mr Bertram might be purchasing another hotel soon.

Henry and Frankie couldn't be happier themselves. After four years of marriage, their love was as strong as ever, if not stronger. Despite busy lives, they always found enough time to spend together. For them their relationship was the most important thing in life and they made sure schedules and work didn't get in the way. It had happened once and they were not willing to repeat that time.

* * *

Ten days after her graduation, Frankie Crawford gave birth to a healthy baby daughter, whom they named Julie, after the grandmother she would never meet.

Little Julie came into a loving family with plenty of aunts and uncles to spoil her, not to mention her grandparents. She couldn't wish for better parents, who loved her as much as they loved each other!

The end

_So, that was it! I hope you enjoyed this story. I loved writing it!  
There might come some loose chapters still, from random places in the story, just because I can't quite say goodbye yet to Henry and Frankie!_

_Thank you to all who have been reading! Please leave some comments. _


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